


Victoria Grimes VII: Power

by bamby0304



Series: Victoria Grimes [7]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Canon Universe, Character Death, Cheating, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Hostage Situations, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-11 22:47:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 154,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16861558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bamby0304/pseuds/bamby0304
Summary: Negan. He was the monster everyone had warned them about. He was like nothing Victoria had ever seen before. Worse than Shane, the Governor, the Terminus cannibals, the people at Grady, and the Wolves. Now Negan’s Saviours are here, and they’re about to turn everyone’s lives upside down. Of course, the last thing Vickie expected was to be dragged further into it all than anyone else.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old series with multiple chapters... it would take me forever to upload each individually, so the following piece is two long chapters. If you want to read it in separate parts you can find it on my ff.net blog (under the same name).

**Chapter 1**

**You Are It**

**DPOV**

Negan grinned as he stepped up to Rick, pointing his bat at him. "Eeny..." I watched him as he looked at Maggie and the Vic, but walked past them.

Relief flooded me, seeing him ignore Vic. She was the one. She was the one I'd throw myself in front of if he picked her. I couldn't let her die, let alone watch it. I couldn't let it happen with her dad and brother watching. All our friends...

Negan pointed his bat at Abraham. "Meeny..." he grinned.

He skipped Michonne, and I wondered if he was going to skip all the woman. Or maybe he was just doing it randomly, buying time while he made up his mind. Either way, it was torture.

He pointed at me. "Miney..."

I looked up at him, holding my ground. If he chose to kill me, then so be it. As long as Vic was okay. As long as everyone else was okay. Everyone here, they were family, important. They couldn't have picked a better line. All we were missing was Carol.

Walking past Rosita, he pointed at Glenn. "Mo..." coming back, he pointed to me again. "Catch..." he changed it up, stopping in front of Michonne. "A tiger..." then back to Abraham. "By..."

My heart thumped in my chest as I waited. He was just a step from Vic. Was he going to point at her? Was he going to add her to the list of possibilities?

But instead, he moved to Maggie. "His toe..." passing Rick, he pointed to Sasha. "If..." then Aaron. "He hollers..."

Once more, he skipped Carl, and I wondered if he was doing it on purpose. Was he leaving Carl and Vickie out of it so he could use them against Rick later? He'd figured out the three of them were family. He clearly didn't like Rick...

He stopped by Eugene. "Let him go..." he went back to Aaron. "My mother..." now Sasha. "Told me..." he grinned at Rick. "To pick..." he moved to Maggie. "The very..." he hesitated a moment by Vic, but took another step to Abraham. "Best."

I was vibrating. I was scared like I'd never been before. Every second that went by was like hell. We were in hell. Carol had said once that she didn't know if heaven and hell were real, but that's exactly where we were, and Negan was the Devil, here to deliver a punishment.

He nodded to Michonne. "One..." and then came to me. "And you..." skipping Rosita he moved to Glenn. "Are..."

We all waited. This was it. This was the moment. One of us was about to die...

He stopped, looking to everyone until he made up his mind, stepping up to Abraham. "It." he nodded. "Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy's other eye out and feed it to his father, and _then_ we'll start." he turned to the rest of us. "You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry." he set his eyes on Abraham. "Hell, you're all gonna be doing that."

We watched as he brought his bat down on to Abraham's head. Hard. Cracking Abraham's skull. Blood bled down his face as he fell to the ground, from the force of the hit... But our friend didn't give in as he sat back up after the blow.

Negan grinned. "Ho! Ho! Look at that. Taking it like a champ!"

"Suck... My... Nuts."

Abraham's words just pissed Negan off more. The man brought his bat down again and again. A total of six times. Once he was finished, Abraham's head was nothing more than a mess of skull pieces, brains and blood.

"Did you hear that?" Negan laughed as he stepped back. "He said, 'Suck my nuts'." he grinned, nodding, before bringing his bat down on to Abraham twelve more times.

With each hit I saw Vic flinch.

When it was all done, she looked away, and set her wide eyes in front of her, looking at the ground. Her skin now sickly white, her body shaking. She was terrified and there was nothing I could do to help her...

Negan stepped back. "Oh my, goodness!" he looked down at his bat, which was dripping with blood. "Look at this!" he swung the bat, causing some of the blood to fling over and hit Rick in the face. He chuckled. "You guys, look at my dirty girl."

Looking to all of us, we refused to meet his eyes. All of us looked everywhere but at him. Out of fear, definitely. No one wanted to do anything to piss this guy off. Even though I could feel the need to rip into him, I knew better. I knew to listen to the fear.

Suddenly, he stepped up to Rosita. "Sweetheart." he lifted his bat so it was resting below her face, in front of her eyes. "Lay your eyes on this!" he grinned, but she refused. At that moment, he realized something. "Oh, damn." he pointed the bat at Abraham's body. "Were you... Were you together? That sucks."

"Leave her alone."

All eyes. Everyone. We all turned to Vic as she stared right at Negan.

My breathing began to come out faster as I watched the man grin and turn to Vic. He shook his head as he moved towards her. Everything inside me tensed with each step he took. When he stopped in front of her I felt my body wash with cold fear and hot rage. There was no way I was letting him touch her.

Crouching down so he was at her level, he held her gaze. "What was that, Sweetheart?"

Vic didn't flinch. She didn't show any signs of fear. She just answered. "I said... Leave her alone."

"Hmm... You have a problem with me taking to your friend over there?" he asked het, but didn't give her a chance to speak. "Now, before you say anything, you should know, there was a reason for all this." he nodded, looking down at Abraham. "Red, and hell he was, is and will ever be Red. He just took one or six or seven for the team." he turned back to Vic. "So, do you have a fucking problem with me talking to your friend?"

She continued to look him in the eyes as she answered. "She shouldn't have to look at the remains of her ex."

He shrugged "Fair enough. But... If she won't. You will." he stood, lifting the bat to Vic's face. "So, take a damned look, Sweetheart."

I no longer cared about the crippling fear holding me down. No. There was something more important at stake than my own life. Vic's.

Throwing the blanket off myself, I got to my feet and rushed over to Negan, swing my fist and clocking his right on the jaw. As I went to reach him two of his men grabbed and stopped me, pushing me to the ground and holding me there.

I barely managed to turn my head and lock eyes with Vic as she stared at me with more fear than before. The strength she'd built to defy Negan was gone as she looked at me with fearful eyes.

"No!" Negan snapped at me, moving to stand in a spot so I could see him. "No." he shook his head. "No." he laughed. "That... Oh, man. That, is a fucking no-no." he crouched down next to me. "The whole fucking thing, not one bit of that shit flies here."

Dwight came out of the crowd, aiming my crossbow at me. "You want me to do it? Right here."

"Don't." Vic's voice begged. "I'll do anything!"

Negan grinned at her before he grabbed my hair, pulling my head back as he looked down at me. I grunted and struggled again him, which just made him grin. Chuckling, he looked up at Dwight. "No. No, you don't kill that. Not until you try it a little."

Dwight hesitated a moment before he and the other two men grabbed me and pulled me back into the line, right where I'd been before.

"Anyway." Negan got to his feet, moving to stand a little closer to Glenn and Rosita. He watched until I was back in my spot, before he turned back to Vic. "Sweetheart." he grinned. "Since you said you'll do anything...Why don't you stand for me?"

Slowly, and shakily, Vic pulled herself up to her feet. We all watched her, having no idea what game Negan was going to play now.

He nodded. "Good. That's good." he pointed to the ground in front of him. "Now, come here."

Hesitating a moment, Vic held her head high as she eventually took a step. Moving to Negan, she held as much confidence as she could at this moment. But the rest of us... We were terrified for what might come next.

"All right." Negan looked at her, pleased. Once she stopped a step away from him, he gave a short nod. "Now, kneel." once again, Vic did as she was told, kneeling on the ground in front of Negan. He chuckled. "This is what I'm talking about." he whistled as he kept his eyes on her. "That is a nice view."

Seeing Vic like that, in front of him, kneeling by his feet. It made me sick. I had no idea what he had install for her, but every scenario that came to my mind told me it was not going to be good.

He looked to the rest of us. "Now, I already told you people. First ones free. Then what did I say? I said I will shut that shit down! No exceptions. Now, I don't know what kind of lying assholes you been dealing with, but I'm a man of my word. First impressions are important. I need you to know me. So..." his changed the grip on his bat, and I died at that moment, thinking he was going to kill Vic. "Back to it." he shrugged before turning around and bringing his bat down on to Glenn's head.

Over and over. I lost track of how many time he hit Glenn. But I didn't miss Vic. Seeing her kneeling in front of her best friend as he was bludgeoned to death like that...

Negan stopped as Glenn mumbled something, sitting back up and turning to Maggie. His eye was bugging out and his head was caved in. It was a wonder he could even move.

"Buddy, are you still there?" Negan asked, leaning forward to look Glenn in the face. "I just don't know. It seems like you're trying to speak. But you just took a hell of a hit! I just popped your skull so hard your eye ball just popped out." he grinned. "And it is gross as shit."

Finally, Glenn managed to get some words out. "Maggie, I... I'll find you."

Everyone was crying. Maggie sobbed, as she watched her husband. We all couldn't believe what we were seeing. Glenn, he wasn't just one of us. He kept us together. He was like the glue that held everyone in place and kept anyone from falling.

Negan looked around the group, his grin falling. "Oh, hell. I can see this is hard on you guys. I am sorry. I truly am. But I did say it." his grin came back. "No exceptions!" he turned and swung his bat again, hit Glenn and pushing him to the ground.

Ten. Ten times he hit Glenn before he stopped. Ten times Vic flinched. Ten hits she had to watch, just inches from her best friend. Ten hits Maggie had to watch, unable to save her husband. Ten hits. Eugene, Carl, Aaron, Sasha, Rick, Maggie, Michonne, Rosita, Vic and myself. Ten hits.

Negan paused. "You bunch of pussies." he hit Glenn again. "I'm just getting started." again, and again, and again, and again, and again. "You see her?" he gestured to his bat. "She's thirsty." he laughed. "She's a vampire bat." he nodded, moving towards Rick. "What? Was the joke that bad?"

**RPOV**

Slowly, I looked up at Negan. "I'm gonna kill you."

Grinning, he came to crouch down in front of me. "What?" he asked, holding his bloodied bat in front of my face. "I didn't quite catch that, you're gonna have to speak up."

I looked away from a moment, shifting as I knelt on the ground before bringing my eyes up to meet his. "Not today. Not tomorrow. But I'm gonna kill you."

He watched me, clearly not happy with my choice of words. "Jesus." he scoffed, lowering his bat. "Simon, what'd he have? A knife?"

No one spoke for a moment before a familiar voice answered. "He had a hatchet." it was the man from today. The one who'd I asked about his last day on Earth... _How the tables have turned._

Negan looked over at the guy, surprised. "A hatchet?"

"He had an axe." Simon answered.

Negan grinned, looking to me again. "Simon's my right-hand man. Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without 'em? A whole lot of work. You have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing? Oh... Or did I..." he made a popping sound with his mouth as he lifted his bat to my face again.

When I just stared at him, unwavering, he sighed. "Sure, yeah. Give me his axe." he called, and after a moment, he was handed my axe. Getting up, he tucked it in his belt. "We'll be right back." he grabbed on to the collar of my jacket. "Maybe Rick will be with me." he started dragging me towards the RV. "And if not, well we can just turn these people inside out. Won't we? I mean... the ones that are left."

He threw me into the RV and stepped up before pausing, a grin on his lips, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He had a plan, and I knew, just by looking at him, that I wasn't going to like it.

"Simon." he called, stepping back out of the RV and turning to my people. "Grab the girl." he pointed at Vickie.

Simon shrugged and started towards my daughter.

"No! No!" I shook my head, scrambling to my feet.

But Negan just turned to me, raising his bat to my face. "Don't." he warned. "Don't do anything stupid."

Simon reached the door then, holding Vickie's arm. She was numb, and motionless. She hadn't even bothered fighting the guy as he brought her to Negan.

Stepping aside, Negan gestured for her to enter. "After you, Sweetheart." he grinned.

Still in shock, Vickie looked from Negan to Simon's hand that still held her. Once it let go, she gently grabbed on to the doorframe of the RV and stepped inside. It was like she was on autopilot, the way she moved. I wasn't even sure she knew what was happening.

"Atta girl." Negan grinned before he stepped into the RV and slammed the door shut behind him. He stepped up to Vickie, ignoring me, pressing a hand to the small of her back. "Why don't you just sit down right here?"

I watched with terrified eyes as he looked down at her, over her shoulder, gesturing to the chair behind the driver's seat. She still moved automatically, robotically almost, as she slipped into the booth and just sat there, staring straight ahead of her.

Negan nodded, grinning. He turned his head to me with a knowing look. He knew what he was doing to me. He knew how his actions were affecting me. Being so close to my daughter. Touching my daughter. What was worse was my lack of control. I could do nothing but watch and wait and pray we'd both come out his little game alive.

Pulling my axe from his belt, he lifted it and brought it down hard, causing me to flinch as the blade dug into the laminated wooden table. Turning his back to me, pausing to give Vickie one last look, he then moved towards the wheel.

Sighing, he took a seat. "Let's go for a ride."

My eyes moved form the back of his head, to my distraught daughter, to the axe.

Negan turned the keys in the ignition, only to hear the engine sputter. "Wow. What a piece of shit." he shook his head, catching my eye in the rear-view mirror. "'I'm gonna kill you.'" he chuckled. "Are you kiddin' me? Did you see what just happened, what I just did? You just-" he sighed. "Your best chance is to stand up, grab that ax, and drive it through the back of my head." he shrugged. "See how you do. Keep actin' tough. Go ahead. Grab the damn axe."

I did. I pulled myself up from the ground and grabbed the axe as fast as I could, lifting it above my head, ready to bring it down on to his.

He got up just as fast, grabbing a gun I hadn't seen and pointing it at me.

Vickie whimpered, the first sign of life she'd given. My eyes moved from Negan, to the gun, to my daughter. She was looking at me with eyes I hadn't seen on her in years.

She looked like a little girl. She looked terrified. Her eyes were begging me not to do it. Not to do anything stupid. She was scared. Not for herself, but for me. She didn't want to see anyone else die.

"Drop it." was all Negan said.

Tearing my eyes away from Vickie, I lowered the axe slowly before letting it fall from my hand completely. It landed on the ground with a thump. Vickie jumped at the noise but other than that she simply looked down at the table again, her face returning to the blank stare.

Negan stepped forward, using the gun and his strength to hit my side and push me to the ground with a grunt. I knelt there, trying to catch my breath, having it just taken away from me by the force of his blow.

Bending down, Negan grabbed the axe. My eyes followed it, wondering what he was going to do, sure he was going to hurt me. But instead, he just dug it back into the wood of the table with yet another hard hit.

"Don't make me get up again." he told me before turning his attention to the window by Vickie. "Well, look at that, Sweetheart. Dawn is breakin'. It's a brand-new day." he chuckled lightly as he turned to move back to the driver's seat. "I want you to think about what could have happened, Rick. Think about what happened. And think about what can still happen." he said and with a turn of the keys, the engine roared to life.

 

...

 

As we drove down the street I thought about my people.

I thought about Rosita...

"Boom!" Negan laughed as he drove into a walker, it's head bursting at the impact, brains spraying the front window. He turned to look at me. "That remind you of anybody you know?" he asked before looking to the road again.

How he could see outside I did not know. Smoke, or fog, or something surrounded the place. We'd been driving for some time now; the sun was well and truly up.

I thought about Glenn...

The RV came to a stop. Negan pulled the keys out of the ignition and got up, moving to sit next to me as I sat on the bench on opposite side of the vehicle to where Vickie still sat at the table.

I'd been watching her, wondering how much damage had been caused after she'd been made to watch her friends get killed... She'd been right next to Abraham. She'd been a step in front of Glenn.

He reached over and pulled my axe out of the table before turning to me. "You are mine. The people back there, they are mine. This" he showed me my axe. "This is mine. Her." he pointed to Vickie. "She is mine."

I didn't respond. I didn't argue. I didn't know what I was supposed to say, what I _could_ say without getting my daughter hurt or killed.

Standing up, Negan moved to the door, I could see him through the corner of my eyes as he moved. He opened it and waited a moment before using the axe to kill a walker that had walked up to the RV. Then he reached out and tossed the weapon on to the roof of the vehicle, watching me the whole time.

"Hey, Rick go get my ax. Let's be friends." he grinned. Another walker came to the door, this time he used his bat to kill it. When I didn't move, he sighed. "If you don't do it, I'm sure your lovely daughter will. She's already said she'll do anything." he shrugged, grin still firmly in place.

Taking a deep breath, knowing I had no other choice, I got to my feet.

He grabbed my shoulder once I stood in front of him, and pushed me out of the vehicle, slamming the door shut behind me.

I thought about Sasha...

landing on the ground, I wasn't out there two seconds before I heard the sound of a walker close by. They were surrounding the place. But I couldn't see them. The smoke- I could smell it now- was too thick.

More walkers were coming, I had to act fast.

Pulling myself to my feet I grabbed the first walker I saw, shoving it away before the next went for me. I got to it first, pushing that one away as well.

I thought about Eugene...

With a second or two to act, I ran, trying to get out of there. Not to run away. I wouldn't leave Vickie. But I had to get out of this herd, to figure out my surroundings. I had to find a way to survive.

A walker came out of nowhere, snarling and snapping at me. I grabbed it, struggling to keep its teeth from my flesh, just managing to push it away.

I thought about Aaron...

More and more walkers. They kept coming. The more that came, the more noise I made, the more walkers I attracted to me.

Fighting through the gathering crowd I started for the back of the RV, kicking, pushing, and shoving anything that go in my way.

I thought about Abraham...

Growling, groaning, moaning, snarling. I could hear them all. I could smell their rotten flesh. Even through the thick and heavy smoke, I could still smell the distinctive decomposing amour that filled my nostrils and tugged on my gag reflex.

I thought about Maggie...

Finally making it to the back of the RV, I shoved away two walkers, giving me an opening to climb the ladder and get to the roof of the vehicle.

When I got half way up a walker cam and grabbed my ankle, tugging and pulling on me, trying to reach any kind of flesh with its rotting teeth. But I managed to kick it away and climb the rest of the way up.

I thought about Daryl...

Now that I was on the roof, I could see where we were. Negan had brought us to where my people and I had come across the trunks laid out on the road, blocking our path, by a bridge road that we had parked under earlier.

I thought about Michonne...

Turning I looked to the body, hanging from the road above, a red X spray painted across it's chest. It was dead, but that was only because of Vickie. She's put the man out of his misery. Now he just hung there, swaying in the wind lightly, no longer anything. Not even a walker.

I thought about Carl...

With tearing eyes, I bent down before landing on my knees as I began to weep. For my people. For my family. For my children. For myself.

I thought about Vickie...

As if right on cue, Negan spoke, right below where I was now kneeling on the roof of the RV.

"Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin' around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after. No. Doesn't work like that, Rick. Not anymore." he paused before speaking again. "Think about what happened."

I did. Through all the groaning and moaning of the walkers below, surrounding the RV, I thought about what happened.

I thought about how all day, I'd been given warnings. They had giving me chances, and I'd ignored them all. Vickie hadn't... I'd seen it. Only once, and only for a moment. I'd seen her ready to give in. But I'd stopped her before she could.

Now I wondered if that was the right thing to do. Had she been right? Was I wrong?

Rolling on to my back, I looked up at the roof, my body going limb as I continued to cry. It was my fault. All of it. Abraham dying. Rosita and Sasha watching him die. Glenn dying. Maggie watching him die. All of us being made to kneel and wait and watch. Even now, Vickie was in the RV with this man, and it was my fault.

"People died, Rick. It's what happened. Doesn't mean the rest of them have to." Negan called. "Get me my ax." but I didn't move, and he could hear that. "Get me my ax!"

I could only imagine what he'd do if I didn't do what he wanted. I was here. The rest of my people back there. But Vickie, she was with him. She was probably still sitting at that table, still staring blankly ahead, still numb, still vulnerable.

Rolling over I pulled myself up. I wouldn't give him a reason to hurt her. I wasn't losing anyone else.

"I thought you were the guy, Rick. Maybe you're not. We'll give it one more go. Now, I really want you to try this time. Last chance. Bring me my axe!" he yelled before he began to shoot at the roof of the RV.

I acted quick, grabbing the axe and making a dash for the end of the RV before jumping off and grabbing on to the hanging body right before the bullets would have hit me.

Walkers began to crowd around my feet, reaching for me like a piece of meat. I struggled to keep myself up, but the chain around the body's neck was cutting through the skin. I knew the head would snap off in a matter of seconds, leaving me to the jaws of the dead.

Gunshots sounded, walkers falling as Negan shot them from the back window of the RV. A pile grew below me, when I fell, it softened the landing.

"Clock is ticking, Rick!" he grinned before closing the window leaving me to deal with the rest. "Think about what can still happen."

He could still kill Rosita...

I'd dropped the axe when I fell from the walker. I had an idea where it was, but I needed it now.

Getting up, I crawled over the bodies as I made my way towards where I hoped the axe would be.

He could still kill Sasha...

Scrambling along the ground I felt around the dirt, trying to feel for the weapon. The smoke was still too thick for me to see ahead of me more than a foot or two.

I could hear the walkers following me. Coming for me.

He could still kill Eugene...

My eyes landed on the axe.

I moved quickly, grabbing the weapon and spinning around to hit and kill the walker behind me. Once it was dead I gave myself a second to breath before I got to my feet. There was a second where I didn't know which way was which, but the sound of the RV honking told me where to go.

He could still kill Aaron...

The horn honking helped me find my way, but attracted the walkers in the direction I needed to go. But with a weapon now in hand I felt a little more confident as I moved forward, killing the walkers that were in my way.

He could still kill Maggie...

I reached the vehicle, killing the few walkers that were too close. I used the axe, and threw some against the RV. I did anything I had to in order to survive.

He could still kill Daryl...

When there was a moment I took the chance, and moved for the door, trying to open it to get inside. But it was locked.

He could still kill Michonne...

A walker grabbed me, it's teeth an inch or two from my wrist. I grabbed it with my spare arm, pulled it away and dug the axe into its skull.

I lost my grip on the axe, just as more walkers got close

He could still kill Carl...

The walkers were coming, and I didn't know what to do. I could fight, but there were too many. I'd die, and it wouldn't take long. Already I was struggling against a few as the crowd gathered again, closing in, getting closer and closer.

He could still kill Vickie...

I got to my knees, reaching for the axe, having no time but no choice.

The door to the RV opened as Negan stood on the step. He pulled the trigger to the gun, killing the walkers that had been about to tear me apart.

When the gunshots ceased and the walkers left over were a distance away, I got to my feet and rushed for the door, seeing Negan walk back in. I was right behind him, slamming the door shit behind me.

Negan stood there, waiting and watching before he reached his hand out.

I gave a short nod and put the axe in his hand before sitting at the table.

Negan grinned. "Atta boy!" he nodded before putting the axe back into the table and turning to the driver's seat again.

**  
**

**Chapter 2**

**Please**

**RPOV**

Vickie had moved. I hadn't noticed it at first. It wasn't until we were down the road that I could see the difference in her.

It wasn't a notable difference, but I could still see it. She was angled towards the walk way, now looking at the floor instead of the table. I could see her cheek a little better now. It had been bleeding before, from when a Saviour had slapped her and opened her wound there. But her cheek was clean now, even her tears had been wiped away...

The first aid kit sat on the table in front of her. It hadn't been there before...

The brakes squealed as the RV came to a stop. Negan got up and moved to stand next to me, looking down as he stood tall and confident. He was intimidating, sure. But he'd managed to piss me off more than anything, not pull me down.

"We're here, prick." When I looked up at him he simply scoffed, shaking his head. "This must be hard for you, right? I mean, you have been King Shit for so long." He moved to stand next to Vickie and gave her a tap on the shoulder.

She didn't look up or make a sound. He didn't say anything or give her a signal. She just knew what he wanted and what to do. I watched as she slid along the chair, moving closer to the wall. Her body was stiff, but she still moved.

He sat himself down next to her and in front of me. "Losin' two of your own like." He snapped his fingers twice. "Gettin' 'em clipped like that, one nut, then the other, and in front of your boy and Victoria here?" He shook his head, reaching for the first aid kit. "That is some screwed-up shit!"

I was sure he hadn't known her name before I left. He'd never mentioned it beforehand. Had they talked while I was outside? Had he threatened her? Had he hurt her?

He sighed. "You were in charge." He pulled a cloth and some distilled water out. "Hell, you were probably addicted to it." He pulled the axe out of the table. "And now, well, clip, clip, that's over." Pouring the water on to the blade of the axe, he then began to clean it. "But you can still lead a nice, productive life producing for me." He shrugged, offering me the now clean weapon. "I think you're gonna need it. I just got a feelin'." He grinned. But when I didn't take it, the grin fell and he sighed. "So, take it."

**CPOV**

We all watched the RV, waiting. I don't know how long Negan, dad and Vickie had been gone, but it was the worst time of my life, not knowing if my family were still alive, or what was happening to them.

People were still crying. Mainly Sasha, Maggie and Rosita. No one talked while the others were gone. Simon, he watched us, even watched the Saviours. We'd all just stayed where Negan had left us, and waited.

The RV door opened, and dad was pushed out. He landed on the ground hard and stayed there as Negan stepped out and on to the ground before he looked back and reached into the vehicle. I watched as he grabbed my sister by the waist and lifted her up and out of the RV before carefully placing her on the ground next to him. He was so gentle with her, it just made him that much more sick.

But both dad and Vickie looked to be unharmed, and that's what really mattered.

Leaning into the RV again, Negan pulled out his bat and turned to my sister. "Would you hold this for me, Sweetheart?" He asked, grinning. With shaking hands, she grabbed the bat from him without protest. "Good girl." He grabbed her arm with one hand and grabbed dad's collar by the other.

Walking to stand in front of us, he dragged dad along the floor, but made sure he didn't move too fast so Vickie could keep up. He didn't man handle her. He didn't treat her the way he was treating dad.

Coming to a stop, he let dad go. "Here we are." He smiled at everyone before looking to Vickie. "Sweetheart?" He reached out with his free hand as the other still held her. She handed his bat over and he smiled down at her. "Thank you."

It was weird and wrong. I had no idea what had happened in that RV, or where they'd gone, but something had changed. Vickie was still in shock, that was clear. Dad was still pissed, that was clear. But Negan... he was being the asshole he'd been before, and a gentleman at the same time. It was messing with my head and no doubt everyone else's.

Negan turned to dad. "Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you even know what that little trip was about?" When dad didn't say anything, Negan spoke again, sighing. "Speak when you're spoken to."

"Okay." Dad answered, breathing heavily. "Okay."

Looking pleased, Negan went on. "That trip was about the way that you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand." He shrugged. "But you're still looking at me the same damn way like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work." He sighed, kneeling by dad. "So, do I give you another chance?"

"Yeah. Yes." Dad answered. "Yes."

Negan patted him on the back. "Okay." He got to his feet. "All right. And here it is, the grand-prize game." He grinned. "What you do next will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day or just another crap day. Get some guns to the back of their heads."

Dad looked up with wide eyes as Saviours walked out from the crowd, and did as Negan said, pointing guns to the back of our heads. The guns cocked, ready.

"Good." Negan nodded. "Now level with their noses, so if you have to fire." He imitated the sound of an explosion. "It'll be a real mess." His grin never fell as he turned to me. "Kid, right here." He pointed to the ground by his feet.

But I didn't move.

Sighing, Negan turned to Vickie. "Go get your brother."

Before she had the chance to move, I spoke. "I'm coming."

I didn't want my sister to have to come fetch me. If Negan was going to do something, I didn't want it landing on her hands.

"Good." Negan nodded. "Vickie, Sweetheart, would you help me out here?" He angled his body to face her as I moved towards him. "Could you help me take my belt off?" He grinned.

Vickie hesitated for a moment before she stepped closer to him and rested her hands on his belt, unbuckling it. Negan watched her the whole time. There was a look on his face that made me want to kill him more.

As she pulled the belt out of the loops, he hummed. "Mm. Perfect." He took the belt from her hands. "Thank you, Sweetheart. Now, could you hold Lucille?" She took the bat from his hand and he turned to me. "You a southpaw?" He asked as he grabbed my left hand.

"Am I a what?" I asked, not holding back the attitude.

"You a lefty?"

"No."

Nodding, he grabbed my left arm. "Good." He started wrapping his belt around the top of my arm. "That hurt?"

It did, but I wasn't going to admit that. "No."

He smiled like I amused him. "Should. It's supposed to." He finished with the belt. It was tight, cutting off my circulation. "All right. Get down on the ground, kid, next to daddy. Spread them wings." He grabbed my hat and gestured to the ground. "Vickie." He offered her the hat and she took it as I got to the ground. "Simon... you got a pen?"

Simon nodded. "Yeah." He fished one out of his pocket and threw it to Negan.

Negan caught it easily and pulled the lid off with his teeth before kneeling between me and dad. "Sorry, kid." He pulled my sleeve up. "This is gonna be as cold as a warlock's ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it right across the forearm." He drew a line along my forearm. "There you go. Gives you a little leverage."

We all knew what he was going to do. It was obvious. He was going to cut my arm off to teach dad a lesson.

Knowing this, dad turned to Negan. "Please. Please. Please don't." He begged. "Please don't."

Negan chuckled. "Me?" He shook his head. "I ain't doing shit." He stood again. "Rick, I want you to take your axe cut your son's left arm off, right on that line."

"Please-"

Negan turned to Vickie, cutting her off. "Shh, Sweetheart." He reached forward, brushing her cheek, wiping a tear away from her face. "Shh." He turned back to dad, still staying close to my sister. "Now, I know- I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense." He shrugged. "Still, though, I'm gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die." He pointed to Vickie. "I'll keep her around. I like her. And I'll keep you breathing for a few years, too. Just so you can stew on it."

"You- You don't have to do this." Michonne started. "We understand. We understand."

She was scared. Of course she was, we all were. It was different for her, just like it was different for everyone. But it was seeing dad in front of her- her partner- being made to chop off my arm while Vickie watched. We were her family.

"You understand. Yeah." Negan nodded, grinning again. "I'm not sure that Rick does."

Dad looked down at my arm with wide eyes. I'd never seen him look like this. He hadn't even been this scared when the Claimers were going to kill us. Or the people at Terminus wanted to kill us.

Negan looked down at dad. "I'm gonna need a clean cut right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed-up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice. Nothing messy, clean, 45 degrees. Give us something to fold over. We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine." He shrugged. "Probably."

Vickie grabbed Negan's arm. "Chose me. Cut my arm off. He's just a boy."

Negan looked at her hand that held his arm, before looking into her eyes. "I get it, I do, Sweetheart. You'll do anything for your people. But, you're not the one that needs to learn the lesson."

I didn't understand how he could be so gentle and understanding with her, and the be so cruel and vicious to the rest of us

Sighing, Negan turned back to dad again. "Rick, this needs to happen now. Chop, chop. Or I will make Victoria chop it off and then I'll crush your skull in myself and make everyone here watch."

"It can- It can- It can be me." Dad offered. "It can be me. Y-You can do it to me. I c- I can go with- With you."

"No. This is the only way." Negan shrugged. A sob left Vickie's lips. "I know. I know. Shh." Negan brushed her hair behind her ear. Without looking at dad, he spoke. "Rick pick up the axe." But still, dad didn't move. Negan sighed, dropping his hand from Vickie's cheek. "Not making a decision is a _big_ decision, Rick. You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every-fucking-thing."

I looked at my dad, seeing him struggling with the situation in front of him. I looked to my sister, seeing her standing next to this monster, slowly crumbling inside. The rest of our people were watching too, just as helpless.

Was this night ever going to end?

"Oh, my God." Negan groaned, turning away from Vickie. "Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win." He shook his head. "Vickie, Lucille." He reached his hand out and she handed it over. "I am counting. Three!"

"Please." Dad begged, now crying. "Please. It can be me. Please!

Negan ignored him, kneeling between us again. "Two!"

"Please, don't do-"

Negan slapped him, cutting dad off. He grabbed dad's face, looking into his eyes. "This is it." He made dad look at me. "One!"

Dad cried as he looked down at me, unable to do what he had to, but having no choice. His hand grabbed mine, the other falling on to the axe, and yet he still didn't do it.

"Dad just do it." I looked up at him. "Just do it."

He could see it in my eyes. I wanted him to do it. I needed him to do it. To save everyone else, and himself. To save the people back home, including Judith, Aly and Enid. They were all helpless back there. They had no clue as to what was happening, and heading their way.

Dad knew it. We all knew it.

Grabbing on to the axe, still crying and sobbing, dad lifted the weapon into the air, grabbing my arm, lining himself up.

"Rick." Negan knelt by dad, stopping him. When dad looked him in the eye, he spoke. "You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?" When dad just nodded, he snapped. "Speak when you're spoken to!" He held dad's face in his hand again. "You answer to me! You provide for me!"

Dad nodded. "Provide for you."

"You belong to me, right?!"

"Right." Dad agreed.

"Right." Negan calmed down, his grin returning. "That is the look I wanted to see." He stood, grabbing the axe and looking to everyone. "We did it, all of us, together. Even the dead guys on the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure." He sighed, nodding. "Today was a productive damn day!

"Now, I hope, for all your sake that you get it now. That you understand how things work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you, that is over now." He grinned. "Ah. Dwight load him up." He gestured to Daryl.

Dwight grabbed Daryl, our friend struggling as the burnt faced made dragged him to the van and shoved him in, closing the door.

"No, please." Vickie begged, shaking her head. "Please."

Negan turned to her. "Sweetheart, I know, but I gotta take someone. And he's got guts. Not a little bitch like someone I know." he gestured to dad. "I like him." He grabbed her chin gently as she sobbed. "He's mine now. Just like you're all mine now."

Vickie flinched but did not step back or fight. None of us did. None of us could. Negan had proven that already.

He turned to the rest of us. "But you still want to try something? 'Not today, not tomorrow.'" He grinned. "'Not today, not tomorrow'? I will cut pieces off of..." He paused for a moment, turning to Simon. "Hell's his name?"

"Daryl." Simon answered.

"Wow." Negan chuckled. "That actually sounds right." He looked down at dad then. "I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your doorstep. Or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have you do it for me." He grinned. "Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits! I'm gonna leave you a truck. Keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you're gonna find me.

"We'll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then ta-ta." He turned to leave but stopped when he saw Vickie's bat laying on the ground. Picking it up, he turned to my sister. "I want you to keep it." He grinned as she took it. "You better have it when we come visit." He looked her up and down before turning to leave.

Once he was gone, Vickie fell to her knees as she cried, holding on to her stomach, sobbing and weeping, her body shaking.

I got up and moved towards her as all the men around us packed up and got into their vehicles. I ignored them as I moved to my sister, getting to my knees and pulling her to me. She held my shirt and cried against my shoulder, her tears soaking through the material as she sobbed so hard her body shook with each difficult intake of breath.

**MPOV**

I pulled myself up, setting my eyes on the body of my husband. Still weak it was hard, but I wasn't going to just leave him here, I couldn't. So, I began to move, having a mission in mind to keep me going.

"Maggie." Rick spoke, trying to stop me. "Maggie." But I ignored him as I kept moving for Glenn. "Maggie, you need to sit down." He told me, getting to his feet. "Maggie."

"No." I couldn't. I wouldn't.

But he kept going. "We need to get you to the Hilltop."

"You need to go get ready." I argued.

"For what?" He asked.

I was still sick, so speaking was hard, but I was managing. "To fight them."

"They have Daryl. They have an army." He noted. "We would die. All of us."

I knew he was right, but giving up like that was not an option. "Go home." My voice broke. "Take everybody with you. I can get there by myself."

Rick reached for me. "You can barely stand up."

I pulled back. "I need to go. You need to go to Alexandria. You were out- out here for me." I felt so guilty. If it wasn't for me...

"We still are." He insisted.

Sobbing, I tried to control my breathing. "I can make it now. I need you to go back. I can't have you out here. I can't have you all out here anymore. I need you to go back."

Michonne was standing now. "Maggie we're not letting you go. Okay?"

"You have to." I told her.

Rick shook his head. "It's not gonna happen."

Sasha stood, moving to stand next to me. "I'm taking her. I'm gonna get her there. I'm gonna keep her safe." She looked to me, resting her hand on my back. "I'm not giving you a choice."

"I'm taking him with me." I told her, looking to Glenn. She nodded and moved to Rosita as I knelt by Glenn.

Aaron came to stand behind me. I looked up at him. "I need to do this. Please."

He rested his hand on my shoulder. "We need to help you."

Carl came to my other side, gently grabbing my arm. "I got it. I got it." He tried to pull me up.

"No." I shook my head. "No.

Rick knelt in front of me. "Pl- Pl- Please let us. He- He's our family, t- He's our family, too."

I looked up at him and could see the pain he was in. It mirrored mine, and I knew that even though I wanted to help, I couldn't. So, I got to my feet, and moved to the side as Rick, Aaron and Carl lifted Glenn up.

Rosita, Sasha and Eugene lifted Abraham, the bodies being carried to the vehicle Negan left behind.

Arms wrapped around me, pulling me to them, as Michonne whispered in my ear, trying to comfort me. I stood there, crying against her, sobbing as I watched my dead husband get taken and put into the back of a truck, the pain in my stomach tugging and reminding me of our unborn child.

**  
**

**Chapter 3**

**The Box Beside Me**

**VPOV**

Negan grinned as he stepped up to dad, pointing his bat at him. "Eeny..." I watched him as he looked at Maggie and myself, but walked past us.

I had no idea what he was doing, what game he was playing, but I had no doubt I was still a possibility. Even if he skipped me now, I didn't think he'd keep that up. No one here was off the table. We were all just sitting ducks.

Negan pointed his bat at Abraham. "Meeny..." He grinned. Then he pointed at Daryl. "Miney..."

I wanted nothing more than to get up and offer myself. If that meant the people I cared about got to live, then it would be worth it. But I got the feeling he wouldn't just let someone sacrifice themselves. He enjoyed the tormenting too much.

Walking past Rosita, he pointed at Glenn. "Mo..." Coming back, he pointed to Daryl again. "Catch..." But then he changed it up, stopping in front of Michonne. "A tiger..."

The first woman he pointed at. He was clearly just choosing at random, buying time so he could choose who got the end of his bat. This game was just another way to make this all that much more hellish.

He went back to Abraham. "By..." Once again, he skipped me, now moving to Maggie. "His toe..." Passing dad, he pointed to Sasha. "If..." Then Aaron. "He hollers..."

He skipped Carl, and I prayed my brother would be spared. I prayed he wouldn't die here. There was so much more he could do. There was a life ahead of him, and to have it cut short here, now, like this... it would be cruel and unkind.

He stopped by Eugene. "Let him go..." He went back to Aaron. "My mother..." Now Sasha. "Told me..." He grinned at Rick. "To pick..." He moved to Maggie. "The very..." He hesitated in front of me for a moment

 _Please_. I prayed. _Please. Just pick me. Just end it. Don't hurt the rest. Don't kill them. Just pick me and end this already_.

But instead of my prayers being answered, he took another step to Abraham. "Best..." He nodded to Michonne. "One..." And then went to Daryl. "And you..." Skipping Rosita he moved to Glenn. "Are..."

There was no doubt in my mind. The next word he uttered would not only seal the fate of his choice, but seal the fate of all of us. We would never be the same after tonight. It didn't matter if he picked Carl, my little brother, or if he picked Aaron, the newest to the group. We would all be effected.

He stopped, looking to everyone until he made up his mind, stepping up to Abraham. "It." He nodded. "Anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy's other eye out and feed it to his father, and _then_ we'll start." He turned to the rest of us. "You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry." He set his eyes on Abraham. "Hell, you're all gonna be doing that."

I looked to the man next to me, seeing him flash a peace sign to Sasha. I'd seen the two of them at home, seen them both sharing that sign with each other. It was his goodbye to her, and it broke my heart. But what hurt even more was that he had become a rock for Aly. He'd helped keep her going. He'd helped keep us all going...

_How am I supposed to tell Aly?_

We watched as Negan brought his bat down on to Abraham's head. Hard. Cracking Abraham's skull. My jaw hung low as I watched red trickle down Abraham's face. My eyes watched in horror as he fell to the ground, pushed by the force of the blow.

Yet he still managed to pull himself back up.

Negan grinned. "Ho! Ho! Look at that. Taking it like a champ!"

"Suck... my... nuts."

Negan clearly did not appreciate being spoken to like that, and so he brought his bat down again and again. Six times, I counted. He battered Abraham's head in with Lucille six times. By the time Negan was done, the remnants of Abraham's brain and skull were puddled on the floor in front of me, the red staining the dirt.

"Did you hear that?" Negan laughed as he stepped back. "He said, 'Suck my nuts'." He grinned, nodding, before bringing his bat down on to Abraham again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Each time I flinched. Each time I begged and prayed that I would have the strength to look away. But each time I still found my gaze fixed to the body next to me that had once been my friend.

When Negan finished his assault I finally managed to tear my eyes from the gruesome scene before me, turning to stare at the ground. I felt sick and I felt wrong. My body was vibrating uncontrollably. My insides were twisted into tight knots, making everything hurt. Bile rose in my mouth, seeking an exit. But in fear of upsetting Negan, or attracting attention, I simply swallowed it back down.

Negan stepped back. "Oh my, goodness!" He gestured to Lucille as she dripped with blood. "Look at this!" He swung the bat as he chuckled. "You guys, look at my dirty girl."

I refused to look up from the ground. I could just see his boots from where he now stood a couple of steps away from Abraham's body. I didn't want to lift my eyes, because I didn't want them to meet his.

His feet walked to the side a little and I watched them as he planted himself in front of Rosita. "Sweetheart." He lifted Lucille so she hung in front of Rosita's face, Abraham's blood still dripping from the barbed wire. "Lay your eyes on this!"

Looking up a little I watched as Rosita refused to do as he said. She looked dead ahead, her face set in shock, pain and heartache. Abraham may have left her, but she still loved him. Those feelings don't just disappear in the wind.

"Oh, damn." Negan pointed his bat at Abraham's body as he realised something. "Were you... were you together? That sucks."

Seeing Rosita like that, being picked out of our group to face the bat that had killed her former lover... my fear was shaded over by an anger bubbling inside me. How dare this man kill our friend and torment us with the fact. Hadn't he done enough? Couldn't he see she was clearly in a bad state of mind? We all were yes, but there were others who could handle this more than her right now.

I couldn't speak for anyone else, sure. But Rosita couldn't and wouldn't speak for herself right now. So, knowing exactly what was at stake, I opened my mouth in order to distract Negan away from my friend and give him a new target to pester.

"Leave her alone." The words left my mouth with shaking confidence.

My eyes were set on Negan now, but I felt everyone else turn theirs to me. I felt the eyes of my family, my friends, and my enemies. Every set of eyes in the vicinity looked, the last of which were Negan's.

With a grin in place, Negan shook his head and moved towards me.

I knew what I had done, and my strength wavered ever so slightly with each step he took. But I did not regret doing it. Not if it meant he left Rosita and everyone else alone.

Once he came to a stop, barely a step between us, he crouched down to my level, meeting my eyes. "What was that, Sweetheart?"

I knew he was giving me the chance to take it back. I could see he also found my actions slightly amusing. I suddenly felt like a child being caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Of course, instead of cookies, my hand had reached into a jar of mice traps...

But I still held my ground as I kept my eyes locked on to his, repeating myself. "I said... leave her alone."

"Hmm..." He looked at me, thoughtful. "You have a problem with me talking to your friend over there?" Before I could answer, he spoke again. "Now, before you say anything, you should know, there was a reason for all this." He nodded, looking down at Abraham's body. "Red, and hell he was, is and will ever be Red. He just took one or six or _seven_ for the team." He turned his gaze back to mine. "So, do you have a fucking problem with me talking to your friend?"

"She shouldn't have to look at the remains of her ex." I answered coolly.

"Fair enough." He shrugged. "But... if she won't. You will." he stood then, lifting Lucille so she hung in front of my face now. "So, take a damned look Sweetheart."

Holding his gaze, a moment longer, I hesitated for just a second before I began to look down, slowly allowing my eyes to travel towards the end of Lucille where I found bits and pieces of Abraham stuck to the barbed wire as blood dripped on to the floor in front of me.

But I didn't have a moment to process the sight before a commotion broke out.

Daryl threw the blanket off himself before he got to his feet and went for Negan. Swinging his fist, he hit the monster in the face, right on the jaw, sending Negan back a step or two as Daryl went for him again. Two of the Saviours rushed forward and grabbed Daryl, keeping him from getting to Negan a second time. Pushing him to the ground they held him there, pressing him to the dirt.

His head managed to turn and our eyes locked.

My heart raced. My eyes filled with tears. My fear spiked. Fears of what might happen to him now filled my mind, all of them worse case scenarios because Negan didn't look to be the type of man who'd give people second chances.

_Why Daryl? I was fine. I could have handled myself._

"No!" Negan snapped as he moved so Daryl could see him. "No." He repeated, a little calmer now. Shaking his head, he laughed. "No. That... oh, man. That, is a fucking no-no." He crouched by Daryl. "The whole fucking thing, not one bit of that shit flies here."

Dwight came out of the crowd then, holding Daryl's crossbow, aiming it at the man I loved. "You want me to do it? Right here."

Dwight would do it. Dwight would kill Daryl with no hesitation. He was weak and would do whatever it took to please his leader. That was a dangerous combination on any day, but with Daryl's life on the line it was the worst thing imaginable to me.

"Don't." I begged, tearing my eyes from Daryl to meet Negan's. "I'll do anything!"

Negan grinned at me before he turned back to Daryl. Grabbing Daryl's hair, he pulled it back as he looked down at him. Daryl grunted in protest and fought against the man, but it only seemed to amuse Negan more.

Chuckling, Negan looked up at Dwight. "No. No, you don't kill that. Not until you try it a little."

Dwight didn't move at first. He just looked from Daryl to Negan. Confused or disappointed I wasn't sure, but there was something that had him stay where he was for a second or two before he lowered the crossbow and grabbed Daryl. With the help of the two men who'd pushed Daryl to the ground, Dwight pulled him back in line.

"Anyway." Negan got to his feet, moving a few steps so he was now by Rosita and Glenn. He watched his men handle Daryl before he turned his eyes back to me. "Sweetheart," he grinned, "since you said you'll do anything... why don't you stand for me?"

I didn't move right away. Out of fear and hatred for this man. But I knew I couldn't ignore his request. With shaking limps and a weak body, I pulled myself to my feet despite the crippling fear coursing through my veins. I continued to keep my eyes on Negan, but once more I could feel everyone else watching me.

"Good. That's good." Negan nodded and pointed to the ground in front of him. "Now, come here."

I hadn't been sure if I could move. I thought my body would simply give out. Everything inside me felt like it wouldn't work, that my body had given up and shut itself down. I felt like my body would defy Negan on its own and collapse just to keep me away from the monster.

But as I took my first step, I found nothing to be out of the ordinary. Everything still worked, and so I continued the short walk towards Negan. Though however short the distance was, it felt like it had taken me hours to get to where I now stood in front of him.

I had no doubt that my friends and family feared for me. No one knew what game this man wanted to play next. But one thing was for sure, I seemed to be his new favourite toy.

"All right." Negan watched my every step, seeming pleased with my obedience. Once I stopped at the spot where he pointed, he gave me a short nod. "Now, kneel." Clenching my fists, trying to keep my hands from shaking, I did as I was told once again. Negan chuckled at the sight of me kneeling on the ground before him. "This is what I'm talking about."

I had no choice but to look him in the eyes, because if I looked away, I would be staring right at his crotch...

"That is a nice view." He whistled as his eyes took in the sight of me before him.

There was a look in his gaze that I knew all too well. I'd seen that look too many times before. Lust, hunger, need. It sent shivers down my spine. But there was something different there as well. He wasn't like Shane, who'd looked at me desperately. He wasn't like Jason and those men, who'd looked at me mockingly. He wasn't like the Governor, who'd looked at me threateningly. He wasn't like O'Donnell, who'd looked at me possessively.

It may have only been a flash, a second, a moment in time. But it had been there. I couldn't quite catch what it meant, but I knew... I just knew, he wasn't going to do what I was sure the others were fearing. He was a murderer, a thief, a greedy, selfish, self-absorbed, cocky, dangerous, infuriatingly smart and dominate man. But he was no rapist.

Looking away from me, he turned his attention back to my group. "Now, I already told you people. First ones free. Then what did I say? I said I will shut that shit down! No exceptions. Now, I don't know what kind of lying assholes you been dealing with, but I'm a man of my word. First impressions as important. I need you to know me. So..." His grip of Lucille changed.

I thought for sure, at that moment, he was going to kill me. There was nothing else I could think of. No other option. No other path. No other way out of this. He was going to kill me. In front of my father. In front of my brother. In front of my husband. In front of family, friends, people who I cherished. They were all going to watch me die, just as Abraham had.

"Back to it." Negan shrugged.

What happened next made no sense to me. As he turned away and brought his bat down on to the head of my best friend, on to Glenn's head...

I had wanted to cry out. I had wanted to throw myself in between Lucille and Glenn in the hopes that I wasn't too late and I could offer myself up instead. But he had moved so quickly, his mind already made up, and there had been no time to act.

I froze. I just, froze.

Despite the fact I wanted to do something, to help my friend, to stop the monster that was killing him... I could do nothing. All I could do was kneel there and watch as Lucille continued her assault on my friend. As Negan continued his assault.

After a few hits, Negan stopped at the sound of Glenn trying to form words. I watched my friend pull himself off the ground and turn to his wife. With an eye bugging out and his head caved in I had no idea how he managed it, and yet Glenn was still alive, moving and trying to speak.

"Buddy, are you still there?" Negan asked, leaning forward to look Glenn in the face. "I just don't know. It seems like you're trying to speak. But you just took a hell of a hit! I just popped your skull so hard your eye ball just popped out. And it is gross as fuck."

With a struggle, Glenn finally said his last words. "M-M-Maggie, I... I'll f-find you."

A sob escaped my lips as I kept my eyes on Glenn. My best friend. My saviour...

_I stood on the high way, watching the red sports car as it came to a screeching halt, the car alarm blaring loudly._

_The passenger door flew open._

_"Get in." The driver called._

_It was Glenn. A younger Glenn by a few years. He wore a baseball cap and looked so innocent. There'd been something about him in that first moment when we met that told me I could trust this guy. Which is exactly why I got in the car._

_"What's your name?" He asked as I put my seat belt on._

_"Victoria. Yours?" I said, throwing my bag in the back._

_He smiled. "Glenn."_

_"Well, thanks Glenn."_

_"You're welcome, Victoria." And with that he sped off. I couldn't help but smile along with him._

Glenn had saved my life that day. But he'd also saved my sanity. Being alone doesn't cut it anymore. Really, it's no wonder we were so close...

At the sound of my sob, Negan turned to me before his eyes looked to the rest of my people as they cried. His grin fell. "Oh, hell. I can see this is hard on you guys. I am sorry. I truly am. But I did say it." His grin came back. "No exceptions!" He turned and swung his bat again, hitting Glenn and pushing him to the ground.

I flinched with every hit, and with every hit I felt part of me crumble away. I don't know how many times Lucille met Glenn's head with a force that made a sound so sickening even the dead would be repulsed. But I stayed there, unmoving, watching each impact.

Negan paused. "You bunch of pussies." He hit Glenn again. "I'm just getting started."

He continued his actions. He didn't pause again until he was done, and I didn't tear my eyes away as the scene unfolded. I couldn't. I physically couldn't. I mentally couldn't. Because I was no longer there...

I had never felt so scared, hollow, repulsed, numb, shaken, heartbroken, lost, empty, lonely, dead... I felt, dead.

When he was done, Negan stepped back and out of my sight. "You see her?" I could only imagine he was talking about Lucille. "She's thirsty." He laughed. "She's a vampire bat." He stated before I heard his boots meeting the ground, walking behind me and to someone else. "What? Was the joke that bad?"

"I'm gonna kill you." I barely heard my father say.

There was a pause before Negan spoke again. "What? I didn't quite catch that, you're gonna have to speak up."

I could hear them talk. I could hear people crying. I could hear everything. But I felt nothing. I saw nothing but the red before me. The remnants of Glenn's brain squashed into the ground. Blood pooling and soaking into the dirt. Bone turned into powder and pieces that would never fit together again.

"Not today. Not tomorrow. But I'm gonna kill you." Dad repeated.

"Jesus." Negan scoffed. "Simon, what'd he have? A knife?"

There was a moment before someone spoke, the leader from today. "He had a hatchet."

"A hatchet?" Negan sounded surprised.

"He had an axe." Simon confirmed.

"Simon's my right-hand man." Negan explained. "Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without 'em? A whole lot of work. You have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathing? Oh... or did I..." He made a popping sound with his mouth.

I blinked as a tear leaked from my eye, rolling down my cheek. Glenn... Glenn may not have been dad's right-hand man, but he was important to the group. Abraham too. They'd both been assets. Irreplaceable.

Negan sighed. "Sure, yeah. Give me his axe." He called.

I heard movement, but still didn't move. I didn't think I could. I felt like I was sinking. I felt like I was stone. I felt like I was drowning in the blackness of the night even though the bright lights still shone on us like the sun.

"We'll be right back." Negan noted. As he spoke, I could hear something else, like a struggle and something dragging... "Maybe Rick will be with me." His voice moved towards the RV. "And if not, well we can just turn these people inside out. Won't we? I mean... the ones that are left."

I heard the sound of something heavy being pushed or thrown into the vehicle. Yet I still couldn't move. My tears had slowed. I made no sound. I simply knelt there, my eyes staring into the mess of Glenn's remains.

There'd been a pause. I had heard someone step into the RV. I thought for sure Negan was gone. I feared for my dad's life, yes, but my body wouldn't react to that fear. It almost felt like my fear was in a box, outside of my body, there but not a part of me...

"Simon." Negan called as someone- probably him- stepped out of the RV. "Grab the girl."

Once again, a moment of silence fell before us. I didn't know who Negan was talking about, but I felt for the girl... Or well, I wanted to. But the emotions I knew I should be experiencing just seemed to sit in the box beside me, joining my fear.

"No! No!" Dad frantically begged.

A hand rested on my shoulder. "Come on, darlin'." Simon was surprisingly gentle as he grabbed my arm and helped me to my feet. "That's it."

What surprised me even more was my willingness to go. I didn't fight. I didn't struggle. I didn't protest. I didn't complain. I didn't hesitate. I didn't do anything.

Instead, I simply allowed him to pull me to my feet. I stood there as his hand wrapped around my forearm, once again gently, before he began to lead me towards the RV. He didn't push me, or drag me. He didn't walk with haste. He was actually very kind with the way he treated me. Walking at a pace I could manage. Watching, prepared to catch me just in case my limbs gave in.

Negan waited by the door, looking inside, where I now knew my dad was. Everyone else watched Simon and myself as we continued towards the vehicle. The tension in the air thick with fear of the unknown.

Once we stopped by Negan, he turned to me, his charming smile in place. "After you, Sweetheart." He gestured for me to step in.

My eyes looked from Negan to Simon's hand. I couldn't move if he was holding me...

As if understanding, Simon let go of my arm and took a small step back, the two men watching me, and waiting.

Now free, I raised my hand slowly, grabbing on to the door frame of the RV. Pulling myself up, I stepped inside, looking at my dad as he watched me with sad, sorry and scared eyes. But I felt nothing. I just moved. I didn't even think about what I was doing. It was like I was no longer there.

Stepping to the side, I stood next to the table, facing out the window, waiting for my next command like I was a robot who couldn't think for itself and required its controller to decide what to do, where to go and how to behave.

"Atta girl." Negan spoke as he stepped into the RV, slamming the door behind him. Ignoring dad, he moved to stand by me, pressing a hand to the small of my back. "Why don't you just sit down right here?"

I did as he said, moving slowly and shakily, sitting down on the seat, setting my eyes in front of me as I stared down at the table.

Once I was seated, Negan pulled dad's axe out of his belt and lifted it in the air, slamming it down on to the table, embedding it into the wood. He turned for the front of the vehicle, pausing to look down at me before moving to the driver's seat.

I listened as he settled in, sighing. "Let's go for a ride."

I felt eyes on me and knew dad was watching, but I couldn't meet his. I felt so guilty. I felt so wrong. I should have listened to my instincts earlier. I should have given up. I should have kept my mouth shut too. Then maybe Glenn would be alive.

When Negan tried to turn the RV on, the vehicle made a noise but refused to start. "Wow. What a piece of shit." He said before pausing a moment. "'I'm gonna kill you'." He chuckled. "Are you kiddin' me?" He asked dad. "Did you see what just happened, what I just did? You just-" He sighed. "Your best chance is to stand up, grab that axe, and drive it through the back of my head. See how you do. Keep actin' tough. Go ahead. Grab the damn axe."

Dad did.

He got up from the floor and reached for the axe, pulling it out of the table and lifting it above his head to attack Negan. But Negan moved just as fast, getting out of his seat and turning, aiming a gun at my dad.

I whimpered, seeing an image flash before me... my father lying dead at my feet.

The noise I made caused dad to meet my eyes. I silently begged him not to do it. I didn't want him to do something stupid that would get him killed. Me? I didn't care about at that point. But everyone else mattered, including my dad.

"Drop it." Negan ordered.

Pulling his eyes from mine, dad dropped the axe. The weapon landed on the ground with a loud thump, causing me to jump at the sound. But the noise was like a switch, turning me back to a robot as I stared at the table once more.

Negan hurt dad, though I didn't watch so I didn't see. I couldn't watch. I couldn't see any more pain.

Dad landed on the ground, trying to catch his breath again as Negan bent down and grabbed the axe before bringing it down to the table again, sticking it into the wood.

"Don't make me get up again." He warned dad before looking out the window to my right. "Well, look at that, Sweetheart. Dawn is breakin'. It's a brand-new day." He chuckled lightly as he moved to the driver's seat. "I want you to think about what could have happened, Rick. Think about what happened. And think about what can still happen." He told dad before he managed to turn the engine on.

**  
**

**Chapter 4**

**And the Happily Ever After**

**VPOV**

"Boom!" Negan laughed. I could feel the RV bounce as he ran over and into walkers. "That remind you of anybody you know?" he chuckled.

After a while, we stopped.

Still staring at the table, I could only listen as Negan pulled the keys out of the ignition before he got up. He moved over to where dad sat on the couch across from the table and behind the passenger seat.

He took a seat next to dad and reached over, pulling the axe out of the table as he spoke to dad. "You are mine. The people back there, they are mine. This." He gestured to the axe. "This is mine. Her." He pointed to me. "She is mine."

I was too numb to say anything, or argue. But I knew the truth. My fingers began to fiddle with my wedding ring. The feel of the metal moving against my skin was a physical reminder, one I needed in my state of mind. _I was Daryl's. I would always be Daryl's._

Negan stood and moved to the door, opening it. He killed a walker that was too close, before he reached out and tossed the axe on to the roof.

"Hey, Rick go get my axe. Let's be friends." He grinned. Another walker came to the door, this time he used Lucille to kill it. Dad didn't move, causing Negan to sigh. He clearly wasn't pleased. "If you don't do it, I'm sure your lovely daughter will. She's already said she'll do anything," he noted, still grinning.

Dad hesitated a moment before he took a deep breath and got to his feet, turning to Negan. Negan grabbed dad's shoulder and pushed him out of the door, slamming the door behind him and locking it, leaving the two of us alone, and my dad out with the walkers. I had a feeling dad had the better deal.

Sighing, Negan placed Lucille down on the chair where dad had been sitting, before he turned to the cupboards and began to look through them. I watched his every move as he went from cupboard to cupboard without a word until he found something.

"Ah! Goody." He smiled, pulling out a first aid kit and turning to me. "Let's get you cleaned up, Sweetheart." He nodded, moving to crouch by me.

I watched him, wanting to flinch away, but knowing better than to do that. If I upset this man, he'd already proven that he wouldn't think twice about putting me in my place... or killing me.

"I need you to turn and face me, Sweetheart." When I didn't move, he sighed. Placing the kit on the table, he then reached over and grabbed my knees, turning me so I now faced him. "There we go." He smiled again.

He opened and looked through the first aid kit. His smile widened a little as he pulled out some distilled water, placing the bottle on his knee as he grabbed a cloth from his pocket. He set the kit back on the table and opened the bottle. Placing the cloth on the lip, he poured some water on it, never saying a word as he worked away.

Nodding, he looked up at me, and grabbed my face. I flinched, but he simply clicked his tongue in disapproval. "If I was going to hurt you, I would have when you opened your mouth back with the others," he stated as he lifted the cloth to my face and began to clean my cut.

I gave a small, confused frown as I watched him. But his eyes were focused on the task at hand, wiping away the dirt and blood from my face, cleaning my wound. He didn't rush either, he was quite gentle and patient, making sure he did the job correctly.

"What happened here, anyway?"

I suddenly found my voice. It was small, and scared, but it was there nonetheless. "One of your men slapped me, and opened up my wound."

He paused. "Did they, now? And who would that be?"

"I don't know your people or their names. Can't exactly answer that question," I noted.

"Fair enough." He nodded, continuing with the cleaning. "Well, what about your name? Can you tell me that?"

"Victoria," I answered, seeing no point in lying or refusing to answer. He'd find out anyway.

"Victoria." He nodded. "Vickie." Finished with my cut, he then wiped at my cheeks, cleaning the tear streaks from them.

I watched him. I had no idea what was happening, but this was not the man that had been outside threatening and killing my friends. It was like he had a switch of his own, going from homicidal lunatic, to a soft gentleman.

We could hear dad on the roof now. Negan looked up as if he only just remembered he had other stuff to deal with.

Clearing his throat, he spoke aloud so dad could hear him. "Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin' around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after. No. Doesn't work like that, Rick. Not anymore," he called as he got to his feet. "Think about what happened."

I looked away from him, thinking about the rest of our group. He could still kill them. He could still hurt them. He could still do anything. He'd already killed two of us. He could easily kill more- if not all- of us.

"People died, Rick. It's what happened. Doesn't mean the rest of them have to." He paused, grabbing the gun. "Get me my axe." But dad didn't move. "Get me my axe!"

I looked up at the roof as well, wondering what dad was doing. Why wasn't he talking back? Why wasn't he moving? Was he hurt? Was he even still alive? Had he been bit?

"I thought you were the guy, Rick. Maybe you're not. We'll give it one more go. Now, I really want you to try this time. Last chance. Bring me, my axe!" he yelled before he lifted the gun and began to shoot at the roof.

I heard dad then, hearing his feet on the roof as he ran. Negan followed, moving to the back of the RV. He stood in front of the window, looking out, no doubt watching dad- where ever he was.

He opened the window and pointed the gun out at whatever was there. My heart raced and my eyes went wide as I thought the worst. But as he began to shoot, I caught sight of dad hanging from something. He appeared to be unharmed as Negan shot at the walkers and not at him.

"Clock is ticking, Rick!" Negan noted before he closed the window. "Think about what can still happen."

Turning on his heels, he came back to join me, sitting on the other side of the table, watching me with a slight grin on his lips.

"Who's the lucky man?" he asked. When I looked at him confused, he pointed to my wedding ring. "Your husband. Who is he?" I looked away and he just chuckled. "Okay, okay. You don't wanna say. So why don't we play a little guessing game then? It wasn't Red, because he was with the Mexican." He paused. "Although, you did say they were ex's."

"He's current girlfriend was the one to my dad's left." I glared at him.

"Oh, shit... he got around." He nodded before thinking about it again. "You're not Maggie, so it wasn't the Asian boy." He sighed, "I hope to God it isn't the wimp. The one with the mullet." When I said nothing he went on. "So, is it the back-pack guy?" he asked, talking about Aaron. When I didn't answer, he shook his head. "No not him. What about someone from back-" He stopped himself. "Wait. No. It's not the redneck, is it?"

I looked down at my ring, and that was answer enough.

He laughed. "Oh, man." He shook his head. "Would have never pegged you as the rough man type. What, isn't he like twice your age too? What's a pretty girl like you doing with a man like him? You're not holding hands and singing songs, that's for sure."

I snapped. "Age doesn't matter, and he's more than just a redneck! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

He just laughed harder. "You got some balls on you for a girl. Just like your man and your brother. Speaking of which... what's the kid's name?"

"Carl," I answered, though was more hesitant about giving him Carl's name then I was my own.

"Carl, Victoria and Rick." He nodded. "One big happy family, right?" His grin was still firmly in place as he got to his feet. "I tell you what, Sweetheart. I'll make a deal with you. You ready?" he asked, moving to the front of the vehicle. "I promise to never, _ever,_ kill your brother, if you promise to do what I say. That might be fetching a coffee or killin' a man, but either way, little brother Carl stays alive. We got a deal?" he asked as he pressed on the horn of the RV.

"And if I say no?"

"You can always say no." He walked back to sit in front of me again. "But for your family's sake, I suggest you don't." The sound of dad trying to open the locked door had me glance in that direction quickly. "Times ticking, Sweetheart." Negan was enjoying this. "I'm not opening the door until I get an answer."

"Fine. Deal," I told him, through gritted teeth.

"Let's shake on that." Reluctantly I reached forward to shake his hand, hating the warmth radiating off his body that heated my cool skin. "All right!" He chuckled, letting go of my hand, "We have a deal." Nodding he got to his feet again and grabbed the gun, unlocking and opening the door.

I couldn't see outside. I couldn't see dad. There was smoke, and a few shadows of walkers, but that's all I could see as Negan aimed his gun and began to shoot at random it seemed. But I knew better than that. He always did things on purpose. He wasn't the kind of guy to throw the line in and hope for the best. He always had a plan. I'd only met him hours ago, and I already knew that.

When he stopped shooting he lowered the gun and walked back to stand next to me as he waited for my dad. Dad rushed inside, slamming the door behind him.

Breathing heavily, covered in sweat, he looked up at Negan, the axe in his hand. Negan reached out and dad gave a short nod before he put the axe in Negan's hand and then sat at the table across from me, keeping his eyes on the other man.

Negan grinned. "Atta boy!" He nodded before sticking the axe into the table again. He turned and walked to the wheel where he started the engine and drove off once more.

 

...

 

The RV rolled to a stop.

Negan got up and moved to stand next to dad, looking down at him. "We're here, prick." When dad looked up at him, I could see Negan wasn't too happy. "This must be hard for you, right? I mean, you have been King Shit for so long." He came to stand by my side before he tapped my shoulder.

He didn't have to speak. His body did all the talking for him. I knew what he wanted, and I knew I had no choice but to do it. So, I slid over towards the wall without a sound or second thought.

He sat next to me, looking to dad again. "Losin' two of your own like." He clicked his fingers twice. "Gettin' 'em clipped like that, one nut, then the other, and in front of your boy and Victoria here?" He shook his head as he grabbed the first aid kit. "That is some screwed-up shit!"

I watched his hands. I didn't like him sitting so close to me. I didn't like what he could do while being this close. So I kept my eye on his hands. I wanted to know exactly where they were. If I knew what they were doing, I'd know if I was in danger.

"You were in charge." He pulled the cloth out of the kit- the one he'd used on my face- and another bottle of distilled water. "Hell, you were probably addicted to it." He pulled the axe from the table. "And now, well, clip, clip, that's over." He poured some water on to the blade before he started to clean it, still talking. "But you can still lead a nice, productive life producing for me." He offered dad the axe. "I think you're gonna need it. I just got a feelin'." He grinned.

But dad didn't take it.

Negan's grin fell as he sighed. "So, take it."

As dad reached for the axe, his hand wrapping around the handle, Negan got to his feet. He grabbed dad's collar and pulled him up, dragging him to the door.

"Come on, Victoria," he called over his shoulder as he kicked the door open and threw dad out.

Negan stepped out of the vehicle and turned around, waiting for me. I moved to stand on the step, but couldn't get out as he was in my way. Which is what he wanted, I guess, because without hesitating, he reached up, placed each hand on my waist and lifted me, pressing me against him as he carried me out of the RV.

I'd wanted to push him away, but he'd shocked me. He was gentle and careful, setting me down and not letting go until he was sure I was stable.

Leaning back into the vehicle, he pulled Lucille out before looking to me. "Would you hold this for me, Sweetheart?" He grinned knowingly as I took it. "Good girl." He nodded before grabbing my arm and dad's collar.

As he walked us I realised we were back with our group. They were watching the three of us as Negan dragged dad along the floor, and walked beside me.

He let go of dad once he stood in front of our people. "Here we are." He smiled, looking to each face before turning to me. "Sweetheart?" He hadn't let go of my arm yet. Lifting his free hand, he gestured to Lucille and smiled as I handed her over. "Thank you."

His charming behaviour was confusing me. I was already finding it hard to keep a straight mind. Everything hurt and everything was still so wrong. He wasn't helping the situation.

My mind couldn't figure out who was good and who was bad. What was wrong and what was right. In fact, my head had moments where it was sure I was still kneeing in front of Glenn's body... I don't think I'd ever truly get away from that.

Negan turned to dad. "Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you even know what that little trip was about?" When dad didn't say anything, Negan spoke again. "Speak when you're spoken to."

"Okay," dad answered, breathing heavily. "Okay."

Pleased, Negan went on. "That trip was about the way that you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand." He shrugged. "But you're still looking at me the same damn way like I shit in your scrambled eggs, and that's not gonna work." He knelt by dad with a sigh. "So do I give you another chance?"

It took a moment, but eventually, dad spoke. "Yeah. Yes. Yes."

I bit back tears as I looked up at the sky. Hearing my dad sound so weak... he was the strongest man I knew. If Negan could bring him down so easily, there was no hope for the rest of us.

"Okay." Negan patted him on the back before he got to his feet. "All right. And here it is, the grand-prize game." He grinned. "What you do next will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day or just another crap day." He turned to his men. "Get some guns to the back of their heads."

I watched with wide eyes as some Saviours stepped out of the crowd, each moving to stand behind one of my loved ones who were still lined up. Lifting their guns, they aimed them at the back of their heads, cocking the weapons.

"Good." Negan nodded, grinning widely. "Now level with their noses, so if you have to fire." He imitated the sound of an explosion. "It'll be a real mess." He turned to Carl and I felt my already hard and fast beating heart, beat even more harder and faster. "Kid, right here." He gestured for Carl to come before he pointed to the ground by his feet.

I watched my brother as he just looked at the man without moving.

Negan sighed and turned to me. "Go get your brother," he told me before looking to Carl again.

My eyes went wider at the thought of me having to get my brother and bring him to whatever torturous things Negan had install for him.

"I'm coming," Carl told him before I even had the chance to move.

"Good." Negan nodded. "Vickie, Sweetheart, would you help me out here?" He turned to me again as Carl moved towards us. With a grin on his face, he stepped closer to me. "Could you help me take my belt off?"

I looked him in the eyes without moving. I didn't want to touch him, let alone his belt or anything around that area. But as he watched me with that cocky grin, and knowing eyes, I knew I had no choice.

I rested my hands on his belt and began to unbuckle it. Negan watched me, tilting his head as his eyes clouded over. It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was thinking.

As I pulled the belt from his pants, he hummed. "Mm. Perfect." He took the belt from me. "Thank you, Sweetheart. Now, could you hold Lucille?" I took Lucille from his hands, keeping eye contact with him as I did so. He turned back to Carl, who now stood by dad. "You a southpaw?" he asked as he grabbed Carl's left hand.

"Am I a what?" Carl asked, not hiding the fact that he hated this man.

"You a lefty?"

"No."

Nodding, Negan grabbed Carl's left arm. "Good." He started wrapping the belt around the top of my brother's arm. "That hurt?"

Carl shook his head. "No."

I could see it did. But I could see he didn't want to show weakness. Negan played on weakness. All monsters did.

I couldn't see Negan's face but I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Should. It's supposed to." He finished wrapping the belt around Carl's arm. "All right. Get down on the ground, kid, next to daddy. Spread them wings." He took Carl's hat off his head and pointed to the ground, telling Carl where to lay. "Vickie." He gestured for me to take the hat and I did. Once Carl was on the dirt, Negan looked to Simon. "Simon... you got a pen?"

Simon nodded. "Yeah." He pulled a pen out of his pocket and threw it to Negan.

Negan caught the pen and pulled the lid off with his teeth as he crouched in between dad and Carl. "Sorry, kid." He pulled the sleeve of Carl's left arm up. "This is gonna be as cold as a warlock's ballsack, just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it right across the forearm." He drew a line along Carl's forearm. "There you go. Gives you a little leverage."

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. What was worse was the fact I couldn't even do anything. If I tried to stop Negan, he'd kill someone. I knew it. He knew it. Everyone did.

But dad, he wasn't just going to roll over and let Negan do it. He wasn't going to fight either. "Please. Please. Please don't," he begged. "Please don't."

Negan put the lid back on the pen and grinned as he turned to dad. "Me?" He shook his head. "I ain't doing shit." He stood again. "Rick, I want you to take your axe cut your son's left arm off, right on that line."

I couldn't watch this... "Please-"

But Negan just turned to me, cutting me off. "Shh, Sweetheart." He lifted his hand, lightly brushing his fingers against my cheek as he wiped a tear from my face. "Shh."

I felt sick. I felt numb. I knew I should want to pull back from him, to fight, but I was too weak and empty to do anything but let my head fall.

He turned back to dad, but still stayed close to me. "Now, I know- I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense." He shrugged. "Still, though, I'm gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die." He gestured to me. "I'll keep her around. I like her. And I'll keep you breathing for a few years, too. Just so you can stew on it."

"You- You don't have to do this." Michonne shifted on the spot where she still knelt. "We understand. We understand."

"You understand. Yeah." Negan nodded, grinning again. "I'm not sure that Rick does." He looked down at dad. "I'm gonna need a clean cut right there on that line. Now, I know this is a screwed-up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice. Nothing messy, clean, 45 degrees. Give us something to fold over. We got a great doctor. The kid'll be fine." He shrugged. "Probably."

I couldn't just stand there, I had to try. For Carl. For dad. For everyone.

I grabbed Negan's arm. "Choose me. Cut my arm off. He's just a boy."

Negan's eyes landed on my hand that rested on his arm, before they met mine. "I get it, I do, Sweetheart. You'll do anything for your people. But, you're not the one that needs to learn the lesson."

I would do anything for these people. I'd proven that before. Many times. I would even let Negan kill me if I had to. I'd let him take me away even if it meant I never got to see my family again, just so I'd know they were safe.

But Negan knew that. We'd only met hours ago and yet we could both read each other like an open book. He knew what I was like. I knew what he was like. Which is why he wasn't going to let me take my brother's place. That would be too easy.

Sighing, he turned back to dad again. "Rick, this needs to happen now. Chop, chop. Or I'll make Victoria chop it off and then I'll crush your skull myself and make everyone here watch."

"It can- It can- It can be me," dad offered. "It can be me. Y-You can do it to me. I c- I can go with- with you."

"No." Negan shook his head. "This is the only way." A sob left my lips, causing him to look to me again. "I know. I know. Shh." He brushed my hair behind my ear. Without looking at dad, he spoke. "Rick pick up the axe." Yet dad still didn't move. Negan sighed, dropping his hand from my cheek. "Not making a decision is a _big_ decision, Rick. You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every-fucking-thing."

I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't watch this. I wished I could just black out and never have to open my eyes again. I wish the world would open up and swallow me whole. I wish we could go back in time and change things. I wish I'd stayed home like dad had wanted. I wish it had been me Negan killed. I wish... I wish... I wish...

"Oh, my God." Negan groaned, turning away from me. "Are you gonna make me count? Okay, Rick. You win." He shook his head. "Vickie, Lucille." He reached his hand out. I handed Lucille over to him with shaking hands. "I am counting. Three!"

"Please," dad begged, now crying. "Please. It can be me. Please!"

Negan ignored him, kneeling between dad and Carl again. "Two!"

"Please, don't do-"

Negan slapped dad, cutting him off. He grabbed dad's face, looking into his eyes. "This is it." He made dad look at Carl. "One!"

Dad was a mess. I'd never seen him like this. Crying, weeping. He could hardly breath and I wondered if he could even see through his tearing eyes. It broke my heart all over again, having to stand there and watch this all unfold.

"Dad, just do it." Carl's voice caught my attention. He nodded at dad, a defeated look in his eyes. "Just do it."

Dad looked down at Carl, unsure. But he knew he had to. He knew he had no choice. Not if he wanted the rest of us to live.

Grabbing the axe, still a mess of tears and cries, dad lifted the weapon above his head as his free hand held on to Carl's arm, getting ready.

"Rick." Negan knelt by dad, stopping him. When dad looked him in the eye, he spoke. "You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?" When dad just nodded, he snapped. "Speak when you're spoken to!" He held dad's face in his hand again. "You answer to me! You provide for me!"

Dad nodded. "Provide for you."

"You belong to me, right?!"

"Right," dad agreed through sobs.

"Right." Negan calmed down, his grin returning. "That is the look I wanted to see." He stood, grabbing the axe and looking to everyone. "We did it. All of us, together. Even the dead guys on the ground. Hell, they get the spirit award, for sure," he sighed, nodding. "Today was a productive damn day! Now, I hope, for all your sake that you get it now. That you understand how things work. Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you, that is over now." He grinned. "Dwight load him up." He gestured to Daryl.

My eyes snapped towards Daryl just as Dwight grabbed him and pulled him towards the van. I cried as Daryl was thrown into the vehicle, the door slammed shut behind him.

No. Out of everything Negan could do... to take Daryl. He was the only one who could keep me going. He was my life line. He was the love of my life. Without him...

"No, please," I begged, shaking my head. "Please."

Negan looked to me. "Sweetheart, I know, but I gotta take someone. And he's got guts. Not a little bitch like someone I know." He gestured to dad, pausing before going on about Daryl again. "I like him." He grabbed my chin, but was gentle as he held my face. I sobbed as he spoke. "He's mine now. Just like you're all mine now."

I flinched but stayed where I stood. There was no point in fighting. There was no point in doing anything but staying where we were. Negan had shown us what he could do, and what he would do. I didn't want to make him angry again.

He turned to the rest of my group. "But you still want to try something? 'Not today, not tomorrow'." He grinned. "'Not today, not tomorrow'? I will cut pieces off of..." He paused for a moment, turning to Simon. "Hell's his name?"

"Daryl." Simon answered.

I whimpered at the sound of Daryl's name.

Negan ignored me. "Wow." he chuckled. "That actually sounds right." He looked down at dad then. "I will cut pieces off of Daryl and put them on your doorstep. Or, better yet, I will bring him to you and have you do it for me." He grinned. "Welcome to a brand-new beginning, you sorry shits! I'm gonna leave you a truck. Keep it. Use it to cart all the crap you're gonna find me.

"We'll be back for our first offering in one week. Until then ta-ta." He turned to leave but stopped. Bending down, he lifted something and turned to me, offering me my bat. "I want you to keep it." He grinned. I knew it was him telling me not asking, and so I had no choice. I took it. "You better have it when we come visit." He told me, not hiding the fact his eyes were looking me up and down before he turned to leave.

Once he was gone I felt myself take in a deep breath. But it just opened the box of emotions I'd been keeping closed, and just like that I fell to my knees as I began to cry uncontrollably. I hugged myself as the tears kept coming, as my body shook.

Arms wrapped around me. I was only vaguely aware of Carl holding me to him as he whispered sweet nothings in my ear and stroked my hair comfortingly. I just let the tears keep coming. I felt like it would never stop. I felt like I could die just from crying so much. I felt like I would never heal from this night.

There was noise and movement coming from the others once all the Saviours were gone. I didn't look over, but I could hear them all talking even as I kept crying.

"Maggie," dad spoke, trying to stop me. "Maggie." But she didn't respond. "Maggie, you need to sit down." He got to his feet. "Maggie."

I could hear her now, sobbing and trying to breath as she walked. I couldn't look though. I could turn and face her after what I'd done. Glenn would still be alive if it wasn't for me... I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"No," she told him.

"We need to get you to the Hilltop." Dad was worried about her. I would be too if I wasn't already so upset.

"You need to go get ready," she argued.

Dad paused before asking, "For what?"

"To fight them," she managed to answer even though she was clearly unwell and struggling.

"They have Daryl. They have an army," dad noted and I whimpered again at the sound of Daryl's name. "We would die. All of us."

"Go home." Her voice broke. "Take everybody with you. I can get there by myself."

"You can barely stand up."

"I need to go. You need to go to Alexandria. You were out- out here for me." She felt guilty. I could hear it in her words and voice. She felt guilty, just like me. But it was my fault, not hers.

"We still are," dad insisted.

"I can make it now," she sobbed. "I need you to go back. I can't have you out here. I can't have you all out here anymore. I need you to go back."

"Maggie we're not letting you go," Michonne spoke up. "Okay?"

But Maggie wasn't listening. "You have to."

"It's not gonna happen." Dad wasn't giving up either.

"I'm taking her," Sasha offered. "I'm gonna get her there. I'm gonna keep her safe. I'm not giving you a choice," she told Maggie.

"I'm taking him with me." I knew Maggie was talking about Glenn.

I tore myself from Carl then and turned to see my best friend kneeling by her dead husband. My crying stopped just like that, as my eyes were once more glued to the scene before me. The red. In the light, it was so much worse. You could see it all...

I pushed at Carl, using the last of my energy. "Go." The word was barely above a whisper, but he heard me.

Carl got up and moved to Maggie as she spoke to Aaron. My brother stood behind her, grabbing her arm softly and carefully as he tried to pull her up. But she wouldn't move. She wouldn't leave Glenn.

Dad knelt in front of her. "Pl- Pl- Please let us. He- He's our family- He's our family, too."

Maggie looked up at him. I wasn't looking at dad, so I couldn't see what she saw, but it was enough to get her to nod and pull back, getting to her feet. Dad, Aaron and Carl lifted Glenn's body from the ground and started to move towards the van Negan had left for us as Michonne held on to Maggie. Sasha, Eugene and Rosita carried Abraham.

I stayed where I was as I looked at the blood and brains of my friend. Of Glenn. _Glenn. It was my fault. My fault. He would still be alive if I hadn't... I shouldn't have... I could have... it's my fault. Never should have... why didn't I...?_

An image formed in my mind.

_In front of me sat a long table, set on the grass back at home. Years have gone by. We're all clean. The food set in front of us delicious._

_Dad's sitting at the end of the table, with Michonne on his right and Gabriel on his left. Carol is sitting next to Gabriel, facing Tara. Judith- all grown up, now maybe four or five- stands in between Carl and Enid- who is next to Carol. Rosita and Tara are talking across from my brother and sister. Aaron and Eugene are joking around, each looking over the table at the other. Spencer and a pregnant Sasha laugh as Morgan tells a joke. Abraham smiles at and older Aly who sits across from him. Daryl, who's sitting next to a beaming Maggie, looks up at Glenn and myself._

_I look over at Glenn as we stand by the end of the table. His son stands by his legs, looking up at my arms in wonder. A baby sleeps in my grasp as I rock it gently. My eyes look down to the table, to all my friends, to my family, and then to my baby, before they meet Glenn's._

_He's happy. We're all happy. Things could never be better..._

" _Bet you thought you were all gonna grow old together, sittin' around the table at Sunday dinner and the happily ever after._ " Negan's voice echoed in my mind. " _No. Doesn't work like that, Rick. Not anymore._ "

Staring at the red stained ground, I felt my skin buzz as my insides went numb, and my mind went blank and my heart no longer ache as everything inside me finally fell apart.

**  
**

**Chapter 5**

**Daryl**

**DPOV**

_We're on Easy Street_

Torture.

_And it feels so sweet_

I had no idea how long I'd been locked in the tiny, dark room Negan had me in. I never knew if it was day or night. I had no idea if I'd been in here for hours, or weeks.

_'Cause the world is but a treat_

All I knew was that this song was driving me insane.

_When you're on Easy Street_

The upbeat, non-stop cheery song was making me wish I had my own bat so I could hit my head with over and over until I was either dead, could no longer hear, or had no brain cell that could understand this kind of pain and misery.

_And we're breaking out the good champagne_

Over and over, the cheerful song played. It would stop now and then, but would always play again, and again, and again...

_I'm sittin' pretty on a gravy train_

Hell.

_And when we sing, every sweet refrain repeats_

That's where I was. In hell.

_Right here on Easy Street_

Negan had his men strip me down to nothing. They'd taken everything of mine. Everything that made me human.

_Let's have a moment in the sun_

They were treating me like an animal. Keeping me in a darkened room, completely nude, with nothing in the room, not even a toilet.

_The magic's only just begun_

Dwight would come every now and then to bring me food. Always a dry and stale roll. I wasn't sure if he knew I knew, but I could tell the roll's filling was dog food.

_It's time to have a little fun_

In a world like this, you do what you gotta do to survive. So, I ate the food without a word. I never made eye contact. I would just take the food and wait for him to close and lock the door, leaving me alone in the dark again.

_We want everybody to come and see why you should be_

Being alone, you'd think I'd be sitting there thinking about how I was gonna get out. Or maybe what I would do to these people once I could get my hands on a weapon. Yeah, I thought about all of that. But most of the time, I'd sit and think about Vic.

_On Easy Street Yeah, we got a front-row seat_

I was worried about everyone back home. I was worried for my friends and family. But I was more worried about Vic. After everything she went through, after that horrible night, I was sure she would be in bad shape.

_Oh, to a life that can't be beat_

She'd never been able to handle losing people. She always shut down. Seeing Abraham and Glenn die like that, though... I wouldn't be surprised if she would never be the same again. Hell, none of us would be.

_Right here on Easy Street_

God is this song ever gonna shut up?!

**NPOV**

I sat at my desk, a photo in between my fingers as I looked at the image in front of me.

She was gorgeous. Long, thick, messy hair. Milky skin peppered with marks from her past. A lazy, post-sex look in her crystal blue eyes. There wasn't a single sign of danger or horror in that gaze. Only love, and desire, and pure perfection.

Victoria.

The deal we'd made... I would keep my end of it. I would never hurt the kid. Even if she'd disagreed, I probably never would have hurt him anyway. I could use him for my own benefit. Just like I could use all of Rick's people. But I was gonna enjoy playing with his daughter. It would break him down even more, seeing her have no choice but to do exactly what I said.

It would break Daryl too. Knowing he was Vickie's husband, and I had them separated. It just seemed to make everything just a little bit better.

 _Yeah._ I grinned as I looked at the photo one last time before slipping it in the pocket of my jeans. _This is gonna be fun_.

**DPOV**

I'd finally managed to get some sleep.

_We sat on a blanket in the middle of the woods. My crossbow to my left as she leaned on my right. We watched as Aly played with Houdini, laughing and giggling, a huge smile on her face._

_"I miss you," Vic sighed as she leaned into my side more._

_My arm wrapped around her waist, pulling us closer together. "Miss you, too."_

_"It's not the same without you, Daryl." She looked up at me then. "I can't live like this. I can't live without you by my side." Her eyes were so sad._

_Shaking my head, I cupped her face with my other hand. "I'm here. I'll always be here."_

_"Come back to me, Daryl."_

_"I will. I promise. I'll always come back."_

_Her eyes lit up a little then. "You promise?"_

_"I'd do anything for you, Vic. Move the Earth if I had to."_

_Slowly, a smile spread on to her lips. "I love you."_

_"I love you, too," I told her before leaning forward to brush my lips against hers-_

_We're on Easy Street_

I woke with a start.

Groaning, I rolled on to my back as I looked up at the roof, hating this place more and more- even though I'd thought that would be impossible by now. Yet here I was, wishing the place would just burn already.

_And it feels so sweet_

Not only was this place slowly driving me mad because of the small things these assholes were doing to me on purpose. But they were also keeping me from the smallest amount of Vic time I could manage in this situation- even if it was just a dream. She kept me strong and sane. If I lost her completely, people were gonna end up hurt and dead, and none of it would be my fault.

They should just let me sleep, for their own safety.

_'Cause the world is but a treat_

The door opened as Dwight stepped in, throwing the roll next to my head. I glared up at him but he just turned back around and closed the door behind him

 

...

 

I sat in the corner by the door, curled up and waiting. I could hear the footsteps approaching. I wasn't going to do anything. I was smarter than that.

_We're on Easy Street_

He threw the roll on to the ground next to me.

_And it feels so sweet_

I reached down with shaking hands and lifted it before bringing it to my lips and taking a bite. He watched, standing in the door way, the whole time.

_'Cause the world is but a treat_

He was enjoying this. I had no doubt he was. Having the upper hand, being the big guy, pushing me around. He would be loving every second of my torture and misery.

_When you're on Easy Street_

As I continued to chew on my mouth full, he tossed some clothes next to me.

_And we're breaking out the good champagne_

Then he simply walked out, and closed the door, locking it as he left me in the dark again.

_I'm sittin' pretty on a gravy train_

I put the roll down and grabbed the cloths he'd given me, using the light under the crack of the door to see what they were.

A sweat suit. An ugly, baggy, sweat suit with what looked like an orange 'A' spray painted on it.

_And when we sing, every sweet refrain repeats_

Sighing, I started to get dressed. At least I wouldn't have to be naked anymore.

_Right here on Easy Street_

 

...

 

Dwight had grabbed me from my cell and lead me down a hall. I wasn't sure where we were going, or where we even were. But I took in as much as I could.

Two people were in the halls, moping and cleaning. A red chair sat outside the door of what looked like an apartment. That's pretty much all that stood out from the rest of the concrete, grey, boring place.

Dwight shoved me towards a door, and I stepped in, finding myself now standing in some kind of doctor's office, where a man that appeared to be a doctor stood by a woman that sat on a bed.

"Carson." Dwight caught the attention of the others.

The doctor looked up to us. "We were just finishing up." He gestured to the woman as Dwight pushed me closer to the other two people and the woman got off the bed.

I recognised the woman now. I should have the moment I saw her, but now that she'd cut her hair, wasn't covered in dirt, and had a dress and heels on, it made sense that I hadn't recognised her right away.

She was the woman that had been with Dwight in the burnt woods. The one who'd survived... the one who reminded me of Vic.

"Chop-chop," Dwight ordered the doctor.

"Hi, D." The woman looked to Dwight a little nervously.

"Hey," was all he said back to her, though it wasn't as short and rude as he'd been with the doctor. If anything, it sounded like he missed her...

The woman looked to me then, seeming surprised. "Daryl, right?"

"Don't talk to him," Dwight warned her.

He shoved me towards the bed I sat down as Dwight moved over to the doctor, but stopped as his eyes landed on something that sat on the doctor's bench by the bed. I didn't look. I didn't care. But whatever it was, it made the whole room feel tense and awkward...

"It's negative," the woman told Dwight as she looked to the ground.

Dwight shrugged. "Well, maybe next time."

"Sorry. Still getting used to being my own assistant," the doctor said before he started cleaning up.

Dwight turned around as well. I just kept my eyes ahead of me, not speaking or moving. The last thing I needed was to draw unwanted attention to myself. If I wanted to get out of here, I had to wait for the right time and moment.

The woman stepped up to me. "Whatever they say, just do it."

Dwight turned back to us. "I said don't talk to him."

The woman and Dwight shared a look. There was clearly something going on between the two. It wasn't good whatever it was. Back in the woods, they'd flowed. They'd been a couple, it was obvious. But now? Now they acted almost like strangers...

"Okay, let's take a look." The doctor stepped up to stand behind me and check my bullet wound.

Dwight had shot me out in the woods that day I went looking for him and his men after they'd killed Denise. I'd gone looking for revenge, but I'd only managed to get myself in more shit. I'd gotten Rosita, Michonne and Glenn in trouble as well. Which ended up getting Glenn dead.

I knew it was my fault. I wasn't going to deny it. But I wasn't going to let it drag me down when I still had to get out of here and back to my people.

The door closed as the woman left.

"It'll get better. If you let it," the doctor told me. "Negan will take care of you. Trust me." I could tell he was trying to help. But I wasn't going to trust anyone form here.

 

...

 

Walking through the halls again, we were coming to the corner where the red chair sat, but stopped as Negan and a large man behind him appeared. Dwight pulled me to my knees in an instant as Negan turned his attention to us.

He laughed. "Dwighty boy. I need to talk to my associate for a minute," he told the cleaners behind us. "Go about your business. Except for you." He gestured to the larger man. "You, stand right there."

Dwight moved me around the corner and to the chair, setting me down as the large man pulled out a gun and watched me. Dwight walked off, back to Negan. I set my eyes on the larger man, and felt my anger boil as I noticed the gun in his hand... it was Rick's.

Tearing my eyes away, I looked into the room before me, seeing it set up nicely. It almost looked like a place you could have lived in before the world turned to shit... actually, it was a place you could have lived in. There was nothing wrong with it. A bed. A fridge, sink, microwave. A couch, a TV. Cupboards, shelves. It had everything a home might need, and everything a person might want.

A sigh caught my attention.

I looked to my right, seeing Dwight watching me before he moved over, grabbed my arm, and pulled me to my feet again.

 

...

 

I was outside. You'd think that would mean fresh air and relief, right? Wrong. The place stunk. That would probably have to do with the fact that in front of me, not even a few feet away, was a fence lined with live walkers. Which is also why I was not relieved. Not only did I have to get past the living in order to get out of here, I'd also have to get past the dead.

There was another reason why I wasn't exactly happy with my new setting... two men were behind the walker fence, where they were leading another walker, to another spot. They wore grey sweat suits like me, were un armed, and were clearly in danger.

Yet Dwight stood there and just watched them. Sure, he killed a walker if they got too close to one of the men, but he could have done more. I would have done more. For instance... I would have never had the men in there, in the first place.

The crossbow fired and hit a walker in the head before Dwight turned to me. "You know, I'm getting the hang of this thing."

I didn't say anything, I just turned my eyes to the ground. He had me out here, trying to teach me some kind of lesson. But I wasn't going to play this game. I wasn't going to make it easy for him.

Suddenly, he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer to the fence.

"That's you, asshole," he warned. "Unless you're smart. Your choice. You could be like them or me. Or them."

The growling continued. It was almost deafening from where we stood. The smell alone was like someone had dumped a pile of dead bodies and a year's supply of garbage down a sewer, and we were currently festering in its odor.

 

...

 

Dwight shoved me back into my cell. I got into the corner and sat down, watching him as he stood in the doorway, looking at the ground, obviously thinking something over.

"Make it easy on yourself," he told me.

I shook my head. "I ain't ever gonna kneel."

He sighed, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, I said that, too."

"Yeah, I know."

"See." He shrugged. "That's the thing, man. You don't. But you're gonna."

With that he turned around and closed the door once more, before the upbeat music began to play again, driving me insane just a little bit more.

_We're on Easy Street_

Grunting, I covered my ears, trying to do whatever I could, in order to dull the music. But when that didn't work, it broke the last straw.

_And it feels so sweet_

I got to my feet, stepping up to the door, and feeling around the edges, looking for any weak spots.

_'Cause the world is but a treat_

I couldn't find anything to help me, so I was just going to have to break myself out.

_When you're on Easy Street_

Taking a step back, and lifting my foot, I got ready before I began to kick at the door. I didn't care how many times it took, or how long I had to stand there.

_And we're breaking out the good champagne_

I would keep this up until the door gave way, until I gave way...

_I'm sittin' pretty on a gravy train_

Or until someone came to shut me up.

_And when we sing, every sweet refrain repeats_

Either way, I was done sitting around, waiting for my opportunity.

_Right here on..._

**NPOV**

"He is going ape-shit!" I grinned as I stepped up to Dwight, Lucille resting on my shoulder.

He was leaning against some railings as he turned to me and nodded. "Yep."

"And you? You are hustling. It's working. It's working slow, but." I shrugged as I leaned my back against the railing next to him. "Hey, man, some people are harder to break than others."

"Yeah." He stood and turned to me completely. "He's close."

"Yeah, he is."

It was true. Only a few more days- hell maybe even hours- and Daryl would break. I'd turn him into another monkey that would follow my every order and worship the ground I walked on. Just a little bit longer, and I would have him.

"Since you're doing such an awesome job, you want to have a little blast from the past with you-know-who?" I offered.

Dwight just watched me, without saying a word. The whole Sherry situation was probably still a little raw for him, but I sure as hell liked messing with the guy.

I chuckled. "I'm kidding, man. Lighten up." Lifting a hand, a punched his arm playfully. "Pick whoever you want, as long as she says yes," but when he still stayed silent, my grin fell. "Oh, crap. Are you okay down there?" I gestured to his pants. "Your penis? I mean, that guy, he, uh clomped on it. Or is it... down for the count?"

"I'm fine. But I'm gonna pass." He shrugged. "Man, I'm cool."

I frowned as I watched his carefully and curiously. "Huh. Are you cool, though, Dwight? I mean, I just said that it was happy hour at the Pussy Bar and Dwight eats for free, and you're telling me no? Is that cool?"

"I haven't finished the job. I-I haven't earned it yet. Right?"

"The hell you talking about? You earn what you take."

" _We have an orange situation._ "

Dwight pulled his walkie out of his pocket.

"Give me that." I took the walkie from him before lifting it to my lips. "Arat, what do you got? Grab-a-go?"

" _Yeah, he could've only gone three ways, the moth, the angel, or the hard way._ "

"Good." I tossed the walkie back to Dwight.

He lifted it to his mouth and spoke. "It's D. I'll meet you at the gate."

I shook my head. "I mean, I want my shit back, but that is grunt work. Why don't you have Fat Joey go and do it? God knows he needs the exercise. You? You don't have to do it, Dwight."

A small smile played on his lips. "I'd like to do it."

Chuckling, I grabbed the side of his head, leaning forward to rest my forehead against his. "Good boy," I praised him before stepping back and patting his shoulder, telling him he could leave.

**DPOV**

_Let's have a moment in the sun_

The door clicked, unlocking.

_The magic's only just begun_

When the door opened, I looked up at the guy standing there. He was definitely not Dwight... actually, he was the guy who'd been holding Rick's gun before...

_It's time to have a little fun_

Reaching forward, the guy offered me the roll in his hand.

_We want everybody to come and see why you should be_

I hesitated at first, a little unsure. I didn't know this guy, and as much as I didn't like or know Dwight, at least I'd interacted with him before. But this guy was a complete stranger...

_On Easy Street Yeah, we got a front-row seat_

Slowly, I moved forward, stretching my arm out and grabbing the roll quickly before moving back into place.

_Oh, to a life that can't be beat_

He watched as I took my first bite, making sure I actually ate, before he turned around, and left the room.

_Right here on Easy Street_

The door didn't click...

_'Cause the world is but a treat_

The guy didn't lock the door...

_When you're on Easy Street_

Putting the roll down, I crawled over to the door.

_'Cause the world is but a treat_

Pressing an ear to it, I listened for anything outside. Even over the music, I could tell there was no one outside my cell. I was now, alone.

_When you're on Easy Street_

Carefully, so as not to make too much noise, I pushed on the door gently, opening it bit by bit, until finally, it opened completely.

_We're on Easy Street_

I poked my head out and made sure that there really weren't any people around.

_And it feels so sweet_

When I was sure the coast was clear, I got to my feet, pushed the door open, and rushed out, ready to finally get the hell out of here and get back to my home, family, friends, and Vic.

 

...

 

I came to a corner, sticking my head around to make sure the coast was clear. But it wasn't. A man stood by a door, about to walk out. Which meant in a moment or two, I could get out of here- seeing as the door looked like it led outside. But for now, I had to stay where I was and hope no one found me.

Suddenly, I felt someone grab my shoulder

Turning on my heels, I lifted my fist to knock the person out, but stopped myself when I saw it was Dwight's ex.

"Go back while you can. You know I did. Whatever he's done to you, there's more. There's always more. You won't get away. And when you're back, it'll be worse."

I wasn't too sure, but it felt like she was begging me. It really did seem like she was worried about me. But I didn't have time to waste here. I had to get home. So, without a word, I turned my back to her once more before I moved around the corner, sneaking up to the door at the end of the hall.

Looking out the window of the door I could see no people, but a lineup of motorbikes just a few feet away. Making my mind up, I lifted my hand to the door handle, turned to, and ran outside, moving straight for the bikes.

I didn't get very far before door- one to the building across from the one I'd come from- opened and men began to walk out. The door I'd come from opened as well as more men came. Then others appeared from behind the truck the bikes were parked by. The larger guy was one of them as he stepped up and aimed Rick's gun at me again.

Whistling a happy tune, Negan walked into the circle of nine men that were now surrounding me. He sighed as he came to stop right in front of me. "Are we pissing our pants yet?"

I held my ground as I watched him. There may have been other's surrounding me, but it was Negan that was the real threat. He controlled everyone here. In my brief time, I'd at least come to learn that very quickly. These people, would do whatever Negan told them to do.

Ginning, he used his bat to gesture to the large guy behind him. "Who are you?"

"Negan," the man answered.

"Who are you?" Negan pointed his bat at the man next to the large guy's left.

"Negan," this man answered as well.

"Who are you?" Negan asked all the men surrounding me.

At once, they all answered. "Negan."

Negan chuckled. "You see that? I am everywhere. And this was your shot to prove to me that that fundamental fact was sinking in, and you failed. Which sucks, because your life was about to get so much cooler. Am I right?"

The large man smirked. "Damn right."

Negan stepped closer to me, using his bat to try and pet my toes. But I stepped back with a grunt each time the bat touched the ground.

Amused, Negan grinned. "Now, Dwight gave you some options. I don't think you get it yet. So, I'm gonna break it down for you. You get three choices. One, you wind up on the spike and you work for me as a dead man. Two, you get out of your cell, you work for points, but you're gonna wish you were dead. Or three, you work for me, you get yourself a brand-new pair of shoes, and you live like a king! Choice seems pretty obvious. You should know, there is no door number four. This is it. This is the only way." He chuckled as I just continued to stare at him without a word. "Screw it."

Lifting his bat, he swung at me. The bat stopped an inch from my face.

I didn't even flinch.

"Wow! You don't scare easy." Negan sighed, grinning. He seemed impressed and amused. "I love that. But Lucille..." He stepped closer to me. "Well, it kind of pisses her off. She finds it to be disrespectful. Lucky for you, she's not feeling too thirsty today. But I am. So, I'm gonna go get me a drink!" He laughed as he began to walk away, whistling again.

I watched the men surrounding me as they began to close in. Throwing the first punch, I got one to the ground, but that's all I got before the other eight pounced on me. I didn't even stand a chance...

 

...

 

I sat in my cell, face swollen, body aching, everything bruised. Those guys had done a good job on me...

Shadows under my door caught my attention, before I heard the voice of that woman speaking.

"Daryl? There's so many things I wish I never found out I wish I didn't try Back in the woods after I lost Tina when we took your stuff, when we decided to go back I told you I was sorry. And you said, 'You're gonna be.'" She paused a moment and I could tell she was clearly upset. Then she finished, "I am."

Without waiting for me to say something, or do something, she walked off, leaving me alone, in the dark, in silence, and in pain.

_At least that stupid song isn't playing anymore..._

 

...

 

Sitting by the door again, I just stayed there as I thought about what I'd done and what I was going to do.

Getting out of here was looking less and less likely as every second went by. If I tried to escape again, I was sure Negan would have his people kill me. Even if I was his leverage against Rick and the others, Negan probably wouldn't think twice about killing me to make an example, and then scoop up another one of our people.

It would probably be Vic.

The way he'd been looking at her that night… I hadn't missed it. I could see it written on his face. Vic was a beautiful woman. She was strong, confident, caring and smart. She was a catch, and I was the lucky one she'd decided to love. But that didn't mean others stayed away from her. The past was proof enough. Time and time again Vic had caught the eye of different males we'd crossed. Whether it be Patrick the geeky teen, or Gareth the cannibal asshole. She just couldn't catch a break.

Which is why I couldn't do anything else that might put her in danger...

_Let's have a moment in the sun-_

The music cut off. I didn't move or even blink as the door was unlocked and opened. I still didn't move when Dwight reached in and offered me the roll in his hand.

Sighing, he dropped the roll to the floor. "Eat."

But I refused to move or speak or do anything. I just didn't have the energy or the patience anymore.

"You got your friend killed. I got Tina killed. Don't pretend like you don't know the score." His words pushed the wrong buttons.

Grabbing the roll, I lifted it and ditched it at his face.

He dodged it, took a breath and crouched down by my side. "You should be dead. But Negan's taken a shine to you. You're lucky. Don't forget." He pulled a photo out of his pocket and stuck it to the wall by my head. "Bon Appetit." He sighed as he got to his feet and left me alone.

The moment he was gone, I threw the photo to the ground, looking away from it.

But curiosity got the better of me, and before a minute went by I turned back to the photo, lifted it off the ground and turned it around. My heart stopped at the sight before me.

It was Glenn... well, what was left of him after Negan's assault.

I turned away again as the guilt I'd been trying to bury began to lift its head slowly, but surely, letting itself be known. I tried to push it down. I had to keep it hidden. If I let go, I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold on to anything else for much longer.

_I was all right_

_For a while_

_I could smile for a while_

_But I saw you last night_

_You held my hand so tight_

_As you stopped to say hello_

_Oh, you wished me well_

_You couldn't tell_

_That I'd been crying over you_

_Crying over you_

A new song began to play, it's sad, slow melody the thing to final push and send me over the edge. Just like that, the guilt threw itself in front of everything else inside me, and just like that, I began to cry.

_When you said, 'So long'_

_Left me standing all alone_

_Alone and crying_

_Crying_

_Crying_

_Crying_

_It's hard to understand_

_But the touch of your hand_

_Can start me crying_

_I thought that I_

_Was over you_

_But it's true, so true..._

**NPOV**

The door opened as Dwight and Daryl stepped into the small apartment I was sitting in. I'd told Dwight to bring our guest here so I could have a little chat with him, hoping some sense was knocked into the hard-to-break mind of his.

One look at Daryl, and I couldn't help but chuckle, seeing how cut, bruised and swollen he was. My guys had really done a number on him.

"Je-sus." I got to my feet. "You look awful. Don't you worry. We'll have Carson fix you all up. You thirsty? Here." I offered him a glass of water. But he didn't take it. "Ah, hell, I forgot. Your mouth is all puffed up like a baboon's ass. Need a straw? D, give him a straw." I gestured to the little kitchen behind me. "What's wrong with you?"

Dwight moved right away, doing as I said without a word or pause.

I kept my eyes on Daryl as I grinned. "See that guy? He hustles. I like hustle. But believe it or not, things weren't always cool between us."

Dwight stood next to Daryl again, putting a straw in the glass. But Daryl just stood there, holding the cup, without drinking, without saying a word. Hell, he didn't even look at me. But I didn't care, I just kept going on.

"See, D here, he worked for points, him and his super-hot wife and her super-hot sister. But, see, sis, she needed meds. And that shit is hard to scavenge, so it cost more. Sis fell behind on points, so I asked her to marry me. Told her I would take care of her in sickness and in health, blah blah blah, because I am a stand-up guy. She tells me that she's gonna think about it. Next thing you know, I'm dealing with an orange situation. Dwighty boy here stole all the medication and took off with his super-hot wife and my super-hot maybe soon-to-be fiancé`."

It was a sore subject that had my anger rise up a little. I tapped Lucille against the ground angrily. But seeing Dwight flinch had me calm before I went on again.

"So, I had to send my guys after him. Because I can't let something like that stand. There are rules. Cost me an arm and a leg going after him. And you know what. Dwighty boy?" I chuckled, unamused. "He still got away. But here's the thing. D he saw the light. He manned up. He came back. He asked for my forgiveness. I like that. Made me take notice." I lifted Lucille towards Daryl. "But Lucille. Well you know how she is. She is a stickler for the rules.

"So, Dwight he begged me not to kill Sherry, which I thought was kind of cute, so I was just gonna kill him." I paused for a moment and then continued, "But then Sherry says that she will marry me if I let Dwight live, which, if you think about it, that's a pretty screwed-up deal, 'because I was gonna marry her sister until she wound up dead, but Sherry is super-hot.

"Anyways, it was a start. But it wasn't enough. So, Dwight he got the iron. And then I married his super-hot wife." I stopped and corrected myself with a grin. " _Ex_ -wife. And then after all that, he still got on board. And now look at him. Pow! One of my top guys. And we are totally cool. The point being, I think you can be that guy. I think you are ready to be that guy. You look around here. This?" I gestured around us. "Well it can all be yours. Hell, I'll even let Vickie come on over. The two of you can share the place. All you got to do is answer one simple question. Who are you?"

I waited and I watched. Yet Daryl said nothing.

Grin still in place, I spoke up again. "What, cat got your tongue? You're just overwhelmed by the awesomeness of this? I'm gonna ask you one more time." I stepped closer to Daryl until I was a foot away from him. "Who are you?"

Slowly but surely, he looked up at me as he finally answered.

"Daryl."

Dwight shook his head and turned to Daryl. "This is the only-"

I cut him off. "Hey. Sst, sst. It's cool, D. He made his choice. Ain't my problem if he made a dumbass choice." I shrugged. "Take him back to his cell."

Dwight grabbed Daryl's shirt and tugged him to the door, not even being slightly gentle.

I stepped back and sat back down on the couch as I watched the two men go before I pulled out the picture from my pocket, grinning at the image of Victoria.

_Yeah... this is gonna be fun._

**DPOV**

Dwight threw me into the cell. "You're gonna wind up in that room or hanging on the fence!" he yelled before turning to leave.

I stopped him before he could close the door. "I get why you did it. Why you took it. You were thinking about someone else. That's why I can't."

As much as I loved Vic, this wasn't something I could do. I couldn't give myself up to these people. Because the moment I did, I wouldn't be myself anymore. If I lost me, I'd lose Vic. So, I'd fight. I'd fight until the day I died. I'd fight until the end.

**  
**

**Chapter 6**

**The Mostest**

**VPOV**

I stepped out of the RV and looked around at the darkened community before me. Dad had parked the RV by the gates when we'd gotten back yesterday. I wasn't sure if he'd been going to move it, but either way, I'd taken over the vehicle, making it my new home.

Our welcome home hadn't exactly been that welcoming.

It was all pretty much a blur except for one detail. Aly. She had looked at me with eyes so hard and cold. If looks could kill, I would have died.

Since then, she hadn't spoken to me. Add that on to the fact that there were too many memories in the house I called home, I'd decided to live in the RV.

With a goal set in mind, I fixed all my attention on my determination and mission.

Moving swiftly and silently, I made my way over to the pantry house in the brownstones. It was pretty late. Most people would be asleep, or at least home. I knew how to move and avoid everyone else who might be around.

Reaching the pantry apartment, I could see the upstairs light on. Olivia lived on the second floor. The armoury was on the first.

I'd gone inside earlier and made some excuse about grabbing some food. I was a leader. Olivia trusted me. She hadn't even blinked when I told her I could take care of myself and she could just continue on with her day. That gave me perfect opportunity to unlock the latch of the armoury window, for this moment.

Sneaking up to the window, I used the blade of my knife- sliding it between the window and its frame- to carefully pry it open slowly and silently. Bit by bit I opened the window until I could squeeze myself through the gap and slide into the building. Once inside, I slid my knife back into my pocket.

Aly had thrown my knife on the ground after she found out what had happened to Abraham, Glenn and Daryl. She hadn't wanted it after everything I'd failed to do. She hadn't wanted anything from me...

Shaking my head, I focused myself again. Turning around, I moved to the guns, running my hand over the weapons as I stepped up to the closet. Opening the door, I froze as it creaked.

I waited a second, and then another, staying still and silent, waiting for any sign that Olivia had heard me. When I was sure I was safe, I opened the door wider and reached in, knowing exactly what I was looking for.

My hand grasped a hand gun. I wasn't sure what kind, I just knew it was a gun. Pulling out the weapon, I then closed the door again before turning to the ammo on the shelf where the other guns sat.

I didn't take too many. I could always come back for more later. I just took enough so it wouldn't look too suspicious, and I made sure to take a few from different boxes that were already opened.

Now stocked and ready I moved back to the window. Pressing my hand on the glass, I carefully pushed on it before looking over my shoulder to double check no one was around. When I was sure the coast was clear, I slipped back out and headed for the RV, knowing no one would realise I'd ever left it.

**RPOV**

Carrying Judith on my side and a bag of supplies in the hand that wasn't holding her, I stepped up to the RV. Stopping by the door, I raised my loaded fist and knocked twice before stepping back and waiting.

"Coming," Vickie called before I heard her walking from the back of the RV to the door, and then opened it. "Dad."

She looked tired, and sick. I thought she'd be angry, or sad. Maybe she'd have some kind of mission to get revenge? Or maybe she'd close herself off and shut down like she had many times before? But instead of that, I found her looking at me with emotionless eyes, as if she no longer cared about anything.

I offered her the bag. "Thought I'd bring over some food and clothes. Gathered you weren't going to go home and grab them yourself. At least for a while."

"Thanks," she responded shortly, reaching forward. She grabbed the bag before placing it on the chair beside her.

As she'd moved, I'd caught sight of a carrier bag and her bat by the table. "You going somewhere?"

Sighing, she turned and grabbed the things off the table before stepping to and out the door. "Yes. I'm going out. The Saviours want supplies. We don't have enough for us to survive once their half has been taken. So, I'm going out," she answered as she started for the gate.

I followed her. "Vickie, you don't have to go out there alone. You don't have to go out there at all. Just... come home. Please."

Shaking her head, she didn't even slow her pace. "Not gonna happen, dad." Grabbing the gate, she opened it without waiting for the person on guard to do it for her. "I'll be late. Don't wait up," she told me before walking out, leaving me standing there.

**VPOV**

Crouching on the ground, I watched as the walker a few feet away from me moved through the woods, winding around trees, moving slower than a snail.

I'd been hunting all day. But I wasn't just hunting animals. I was hunting walkers. Anything I could kill. Anything I could take my frustrations out on.

Holding the gun in my hand, I lifted the weapon to eye level and aimed it at the dead thing that stood a few feet away. Without blinking or thinking, I pulled the trigger. The walker fell to the ground with a heavy thump.

Moving over to it, I could see I'd gotten its leg, just as I'd hoped. Now, it was getting back up, trying to reach out for me.

Slipping my gun back into my bag, I lifted my bat, waited a moment, and then brought it down on the walker's head, over and over, until there was a puddle of blood and brains by my feet.

_I was kneeling on the ground outside. I was frozen like a statue. Empty like a black hole. All I felt was pain and loneliness. Nothing made sense anymore..._

_I couldn't believe my mum was dead. I couldn't believe she was gone. I'd only just gotten her back. I'd only just found her again. I'd only_ just _started calling her mum again..._

_"Vickie." Glenn rested a hand on my shoulder as he knelt in front of me. "I know you're hurting, but you need to move. You need to come inside."_

_"She's in shock," Hershel noted, standing behind Glenn. "She can't stay out here. She should go rest."_

_Glenn sighed. "I know."_

_I looked up and met his eyes, unable to speak, unable to move. I was nothing._

_"I'm gonna help you up, okay," Glenn told me. "Don't fight it," he said before standing and moving to grab me._

_Slowly and carefully he helped me to my feet. He held me close, his arm around my waist, his hands grasping me tightly but gently. He made sure I stayed on my feet as he began to walk us towards the prison, slowly, step by step._

_Bit by bit he moved us through the prison and to my cell before he set me on the bed._

_A sob escaped my lips and just like that the tears began to flow._

_Grasping Glenn, I pulled him down to me, holding him close and tight. I needed him. I needed the support and comfort of a friend. My_ best _friend._

_His hand rest on my back as he hugged me. "I know." He rubbed my back soothingly. "I know."_

I froze at the memory, feeling a pang of hurt pulse through my veins. Glenn had always been there for me. Always.

Lifting the bat again, I continued to bash in the skull of the walker.

**RPOV**

Aly kicked at a rock outside as she sat on the porch steps. Houdini was lying by her feet, both of them down and in low spirits.

"You wanna help me with baby Judy?" I asked, hoping to distract my granddaughter.

Aly just shook her head. "No, thank you."

"Okay, well... do you wanna help with dinner?"

"I'm okay," she sighed, looking down at the ground.

I felt bad for her. I knew why she was acting like this. I knew what the problem was. She'd been close with Glenn, had become friends with Abraham, and was now missing Daryl. Maggie and Sasha weren't back yet either, which didn't help.

"You know..." I moved to sit next to her. "I get that you're upset. I am, too. I lost friends, too. We all did. But..." Turning my head, I looked to her. "Your mum is hurting a lot as well. She lost a lot back there, and now she feels like she's losing you."

"It's her fault." Aly glared at the ground. "She's not my mum."

"Yes, she is. Don't ever say that again," I warned. "Vickie had to sit there and watch people die. She couldn't do anything to stop it. But she tried."

She looked up at me then, surprised. "She did?"

Nodding, I explained, "Negan, he was being mean to Rosita. Vickie told him to stop. And when someone went to grab Carl, she stepped in their way. Before a man could kill Daryl, she told Negan that she'd do anything he wanted if he didn't hurt Daryl. She even told them to hurt her."

Aly frowned as she looked away, thinking. "But... then he would have hurt her. He could have killed her. Or taken her." She shook her head and looked up at me again. "I don't wanna lose mummy."

"I know. Neither do I."

**VPOV**

The gates screeched open.

"You're back."

_"Aly!" Glenn rushed towards the little girl, his arms open._

_She giggled as she jumped up into his arms. "You're back!"_

_We'd been gone for a few hours, scoping out The Big Spot. We'd set up a few things to clear the walkers in our way so when we'd go back in a few days we could get in without any trouble._

_Glenn smiled at Aly as he held her in his arms. "Did you miss me?"_

_She nodded. "And Vickie and Daryl and Sasha."_

_I stepped up to them, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "I missed you, too."_

_"But I missed you the most," Glenn told her._

_He was so good with her, and all the kids. He was sweet and caring. He made them laugh. He made sure they were always taken care of. He never forgot about them. Every time we came back, like this, he'd make a big deal about it to Aly. It made her feel better, and in return we all felt good._

_Aly giggled again. "I missed you the mostest, Glenn," she told him, throwing her arms around his neck, hugging him._

"Vickie?"

I blinked away tears as I looked up at Spencer. "Ah, yeah, sorry, did you say something?"

He shrugged. "It's pretty late. Your dad was thinking about calling a search party."

Shaking my head, I stepped through the gates. "I'm fine."

As he pulled the gates shut, he kept talking, keeping me there. "Well, Aly came around looking for you. Wasn't too happy you'd left," he noted.

I was shocked Aly had been looking for me, but also relieved. Knowing that she at least wanted to see or talk to me, eased my pain. I wouldn't be able to survive without her. She helped keep me grounded. She helped keep me sane. If I lost all the people I cared about, then I'd probably fall off the deep end and do a whole bunch of crazy things.

"You know where she is now?"

He nodded. "Yeah, pretty sure she's in the RV with Houdini. I think they're sleeping in there."

"Okay, thanks." I gave him a short wave before heading towards the RV.

Taking a deep breath as I reached the vehicle, I lifted my hand and opened the door. The door creaked, and the RV shifted as I stepped inside. Moving around to the back room, dumping my things on the counter on the way there, I peeked through the curtain I'd set up as a kind of door.

Sure enough, Aly was fast asleep, curled up on the bed, with Houdini lying by her feet. The dog's head lifted at my arrival, and his tail began to wag, but other than that, he stayed completely still.

I felt too numb to smile, but also felt better than I had in days- though I knew it would still be some time before I would no longer be this empty inside...

Moving to the bag dad had brought over earlier, I reached into it and grabbed some clothes I could sleep in before I got changed. Dumping the rest of my stuff in a corner- but bringing my gun with me- I moved to the bed and set myself on top of the blankets, lying down next to Aly. I slipped the gun under my pillow before moving to curl myself up around her and drape an arm over her, holding her close.

I fell asleep in a matter of moments, and didn't wake up from nightmares once, all throughout the night. It was the best sleep I'd had since meeting Negan.

 

...

 

"Mummy?" Aly tugged on my shoulder. "Mummy, wake up."

Groaning, I rolled on to my side.

Aly sighed. "Wake up, mummy." She shook my shoulder harder.

Opening my eyes, I looked at my daughter as she knelt beside me on the bed. "What?"

She lifted her hand, showing me a gun. "Why do you have this?"

My eye went wide as I quickly snatched the weapon away from her, and tucked it under my pillow. "What are you doing going through my things? I thought I told you to stop doing that?"

Ignoring my questions, she repeated her own. "Why do you have a gun?"

"For hunting," I answered as I pulled myself up and off the bed, heading out of the room.

She was right behind me. "Is that where you were yesterday? Hunting?"

"Yes."

"Did you catch anything?"

"No."

"Why?"

I sighed, stopping by the table. "Because, Aly. There was nothing out there." Turning around, I looked at her. "What's with all the questions? You thinking about becoming a cop like your pop?"

She shook her head as she stood just a few steps away from me. "No, I just wanna know things."

I could hear in her tone that she meant something else behind those words. She was just too nervous to ask her real questions.

Now curious, I took a seat at the table, ignoring the indents on the surface from where Negan had embedded dad's axe. "If you wanna know things, ask away, sweetie. I'm not gonna lie to you."

Moving to sit across from me, she placed her arms on the table as she spoke. "Is Negan the Bad Man?"

"Yes."

"Is he scary?"

"Yes."

"Did he hurt you?"

I paused for a moment, thinking about how to answer, before I nodded. "He didn't hurt me physically, but he hurt my feelings."

"Because he killed Glenn and Abraham? And then took Daryl?"

"Yes."

"Did you have to watch?"

"Yes."

"Did you try and stop him?"

"Kind of. When he was going to hurt Carl, I told him to hurt me instead. And I told him off for bullying Rosita."

"But he didn't hit you?"

"No."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why didn't he hurt you?"

"I don't know." I shrugged.

"Does he like you?"

My jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

I had no idea where that came from, but the look on Aly's face was telling me she seemed to think she knew something I didn't. As if all the answers I'd given this five year old, had answered a question she hadn't even asked yet.

"Does the Bad Man like you?"

I shook my head. "Why would you think that?"

"Well, you're pretty, and smart. All boys like you. They're all jealous that you're married to Daryl. That's why the Bad Man took him. To keep you away from daddy."

I didn't miss it. She'd never called Daryl dad or anything like that before, but hearing her say it now, under the circumstances we were in... It hurt me more than it probably should have. Daryl should have been here to hear her say it. She shouldn't be saying it when there was a chance he'd never come back... It just wasn't fair.

However, even though it was a big deal, I didn't attract any attention to the word, and instead concentrated on what she'd said.

" _Negan_ does not like me, sweetie. He's just a bully who likes playing mean games. That's all."

"Do you think Mr Negan will give Daryl back?

"I have no idea," I answered honestly once more.

There was no point in lying to her. She already knew the truth, she was just hoping I'd tell her something differently. But there wasn't anything else I could say.

She sighed. "I don't like Mr Negan's games."

"Me either, sweetie. Me either."

Negan's games were one sided. He always won. He set it up that way. Even when you thought you were winning, you weren't. You never were. Negan, he always had some move that would get him back into first place.

"You want me to keep the gun secret?"

I turned my attention back to my daughter. "Yes. Please."

She nodded. "Are you going to go outside every day?"

"Yes," I answered again.

"Mr Negan is gonna come and take all our things, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he'll make a deal? Maybe I can give him all my things, and then he'll let Daryl stay?"

Her words made my guilt grow as I smiled at her sadly. "I don't think it's that easy, sweetie. But it's nice of you to think like that."

She just shrugged, as she pulled herself from the chair. "You and daddy, you take care of us. You take care of each other. I'll do anything for you."

"And I'll do anything for you, too."

Out of everything I'd said, those words were the most honest words I'd spoken all morning. I would do absolutely anything for the people I loved. I would kill for them- I _had_ killed for them. I would even die for them. There were no limits to what I was willing to do in order to keep the people I loved safe. Even if that meant doing something they'd never forgive me for.

**  
**

**Chapter 7**

**Home Visit**

**VPOV**

I sat up in the bed at the back of the RV. With a sigh, I swung my legs over and placed my feet on the ground. Dragging my boots over with my foot, I leant down and tugged them on before I stood up and pulled my hair out of my face and into a messy bun on the top of my head.

It wasn't much, but this place was home. I couldn't live in the house anymore. Not with Daryl gone. Not with Abraham and Glenn dead. Not with Sasha and Maggie not back. There were too many memories of them there for me to be able to go on.

Reaching over, I grabbed my bat. As much as seeing Negan with Lucille had made me want to reject the weapon, I knew the consequences from him would be horrible. Besides, I was too emotionally drained to really hate the thing. I hadn't completely recovered from the other night... I never would.

Slipping my other hand under my pillow I pulled out the hand gun I'd stashed there, and slipped it in the back of my pants as I stood up. Walking over to the door, I straightened myself and got ready for the day ahead.

As I pushed the door open I came to a complete stop. A shadow of a man stepped up to the gate, whistling a jaunty tune. I knew in an instant who it was. Everyone would know who that was. Negan.

"Dun-dun-dun, dun." I watched the shadow as Negan lifted Lucille and knocked her on the metal gate. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!" he called.

Rosita, Eugene and Spencer had been by a car that sat closer to the gate. It was Spencer who moved. The first gate was pulled open, but the second stayed shut as Spencer just looked to the other man. He hadn't met the man yet, and I was sure he didn't fully understand the severity of the situation we were now in. But he soon would.

"Well?" Negan asked expectantly.

Spencer didn't answer at first, but when he did I knew it would have been better for him to keep his mouth shut. "Um, who are you?"

Negan grinned, but I could tell he wasn't amused. "Oh, you better be fucking jokin'."

Acting quickly, I jumped out of the RV and moved to the two men.

Negan's eyes landed on me in an instant, his grin widening at the sight of me. "Well, hello Vic-tor-i-a." He rested Lucille on his shoulder.

"I've got this Spencer," I said as I kept my eyes on Negan, raising my only free arm- as the other still held my bat- I pulled at the gate, opening it. "You're early, Negan. You said a week. It's been three days."

When the gate was opened, he stepped into my personal space without a care. "What can I say? I missed you." His eyes travelled down until they landed on my bat. "I see you're good at taking orders." Our eyes locked again. "I wonder what else your good at."

Holding my ground, I refused to let him shake me again. "I'm pretty good with knives, if you wanna see."

He laughed, staying where he still stood close to me. "Oh, Sweetheart, I am gonna have some fun with you." Lifting his ungloved hand- which didn't hold Lucille- he reached for my face, but stopped as his eyes landed on something behind me. "Rick, welcome to the party." He grinned before letting his fingers finally brush some hair behind my ear.

My father came to stand next to me. I could tell in an instant that he was not happy. About Negan being early, or the closeness between myself and the man before me, I wasn't sure. Probably both. Either way, he was clearly not pleased, or comfortable. Which made two of us.

The sound of a walker growling had Negan look over his shoulder as the walker appeared from between the many trucks behind him. "Oh, Rick, come on out here." He stepped out of the gate and moved towards the walker. "Watch this. Calling it!"

Dad stepped out as I stood there, knowing Rosita, Eugene and Spencer were behind and watching as well. Negan lifted Lucille and killed the walker effortlessly. In fact, he even laughed.

"Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!" Negan grinned before he looked to the side. "All right, everybody. Let's get started. Big day."

I stepped out of the gate to see what he was looking at and once again, I froze. Daryl stood among the many people Negan had brought along with him. Men and women. But I didn't care about them, I only cared about the sat my husband was in.

His eyes met mine...

It wasn't the first time I'd seen him battered, and bruised. But it was the first time I'd seen him broken. That's what he was, as he stood there, looking at the ground, dressed in dull, grey sweats, his hair and everything dirty and messy. His face... He'd been beaten up, it was obvious.

"Hey, you see that, what I just did?" Negan spoke, dragging my attention back to him and away from Daryl. "That is some fucking service! I mean, we almost get turned away at the gate. Who is that asshole, anyway?" He gestured to Spencer before going on, not wanting an answer. "Do I get mad? Do I throw a fit? Do I bash some ginger's fucking dome in? Nope. I just take care of one of these dead pricks that could've killed one of y'all." He smiled that charming smile. "Mother fucking service."

I watched him, gritting my teeth. He stepped up to my father and myself, adjusting his hold on Lucille. Last time he'd had me carry her, when the remains of my two friends had been fresh on her barbed wire, so I gathered he was going to make me carry her again. Lifting out my free hand, I waited expectantly.

But he just shook his head. "No need, Sweetheart." He turned his head to dad. "Hold this."

Dad didn't miss a beat as Negan gave him Lucille, the wooden bat now in the grasp of my father. This was just another game to Negan, and it was another we were going to lose.

Negan's people were right behind us as dad, Negan and myself stepped into Alexandria. Negan didn't pay anyone else any attention as he took in the sight before him.

"Hot diggity dog! This place is magnificent! An embarrassment of riches, as they say." Negan turned back to dad and myself. "Yes, sir, I do believe you are gonna have plenty to offer up," he chuckled as he looked at the surroundings again.

Dad hesitated a moment before he turned. "Daryl, hey-"

But Negan shut that down quickly. "No. Nope." He stepped in between Daryl and dad. "He's the help. You don't look at him, you don't talk to him, and I don't make you chop anything off of him," he told my father.

The thought of not being able to talk to him was almost enough for me to turn away and walk right through the gates. The day was only just beginning, I could still go hunt. If I had to be here and couldn't be with my husband- even when he's right next to me- I was going to go insane.

But I couldn't leave everyone else to Negan and his followers. Especially Aly...

Negan turned to step up to me again, getting really close. "Same goes for everyone." He stepped even closer. "Right?"

Slowly, I tore my eyes away from Daryl and locked them on to Negan's. "Yes," I answered forcefully.

He grinned. "Atta girl." Stepping back, he turned towards the community. "All right, let's get this show on the road. See what kind of goodies you got in the cupboard."

"We put aside half the supplies," dad explained.

But Negan didn't care. "No, Rick. No. You don't decide what we take. I do." He looked over dad's shoulder to his people. "Arat."

A woman stepped forward. "You heard the man. Move out!" she ordered the rest of Negan's people before they most of them started heading off towards the houses and buildings.

Pleased, Negan watched them go. "They're just gonna search the houses a bit, keep the process-"

"Daryl?"

I froze, seeing Aly walking down the road, heading this way, with Houdini on a leash next to her. The dog was clearly not happy about all the intruders, but he still stayed close to my daughter, protecting her.

"Well, who do we have here?" Negan asked, watching Aly.

Stepping forward, I put myself in between Negan and Aly, meeting her half way. "Sweetie, go find Carl or Enid, okay?"

Without letting Aly move or answer me, Negan spoke up. "Victoria, I asked a question." He did not sound amused. "I expect an answer."

Tensing my jaw, I placed a hand on Aly's shoulder, keeping her by my side as I turned to face Negan again. "This is my daughter, Alyssa. Aly, this is... Mr Negan."

Negan grinned, flashing me a look that let me know he liked the nickname. I hated it in an instant.

Ignoring him, Aly looked up at me. "The Bad Man?"

Negan just laughed. "Is that what they're calling me these days?" Strolling over, he moved casually until he was a step away from Aly and myself. His eyes were locked onto mine until he crouched down by my daughter and turned his attention to her. "What's your friend's name?" He pointed to Houdini.

The dog was growling lowly, watching Negan carefully. If the man made one wrong move, there would be no stopping the dog.

Aly answered the man with no fear. "He's my dog. Houdini."

"Houdini." Negan nodded. "You name him that, Aly?"

She shook her head. "Mummy and Daryl had him before they found me."

Negan looked up at me again then. "Is that so?"

"Mummy and Daryl saved me and my friends from a bad man. They've saved us from a lot of bad people."

"I bet they have." Standing, Negan kept his eyes on mine. "Lucky for me and my people, your mummy knows I'm not a bad man. That's why they're helping us."

"No." Aly shook her head. "Your taking our stuff, and you killed our friends."

Negan looked down at her, surprised. Once he recovered he simply laughed, the sound coming from deep within his chest. "Jesus, you guys have got some tough kids around here." He shook his head. "Aly, why don't you do what your mummy said? Leave the adults to get back to work," he spoke kindly to her, smiling.

It was odd, seeing a man so cruel, be so gentle with a little girl. With _my_ little girl. It made me have mixed feelings about the situation.

When Aly looked up at me, I simply nodded. "Go find Enid or someone. Just... don't get in the people's way."

"Okay." She gave a short nod before walking off, tugging Houdini along with her.

I watched her go, feeling anxious about leaving her alone.

"No one will touch her. If they do, I'll break their fingers," Negan told me from where he stood by shoulder, now closer. "And no one will take anything from the little ones. Like I said, I'm not a bad guy."

"You're not good, either," I noted, knowing only he could hear me.

He chuckled. "No one's good anymore, Vickie."

There was truth behind his words. I honestly didn't think they're were many- or _any_ good people anymore. There weren't really bad people either. It wasn't that black and white. It probably never was. There were just people. White meat and dark meat. The living and the dead.

"All right, Sweetheart. You wanna show me around?" He offered his arm without even looking at me, knowing I'd take it anyway.

I didn't even hesitate before slipping my arm through his and started down the road.

 

...

 

"You see this?" Negan gestured around us with his free arm. "This is the kind of thing that just, tickles my balls. A little cooperation and everything is pleasant as fuck. You see, we really are reasonable people once you get to know us. Honest."

We were walking down a street, watching as our people stood outside their homes while the Saviours carried their things out onto the road. Whether it be chairs, mattresses, or even cutlery. They were taking everything and anything they wanted.

Suddenly Negan came to a stop before he reached into a box and found a can. It was Denise's can. The one she'd gotten for Tara. The one she'd gotten moments before Dwight had killed her. Pulling it out, Negan brought it to his other hand and opened the can before taking a drink.

Lowering the can from his lips, he grinned, offering me some. When I didn't take it, he sighed. "Now, now, Sweetheart. When someone offers you a drink, you take it."

Glaring at him, I took the can with my free hand and lifted it to my lips, taking a drink of the sweet liquid, feeling it run down my throat. Some slipped out from the corner of my lips, and I watched as Negan's eyes trailed the single drop. When I lowered the can, he reached forward and brushed the drop away from my chin using his thumb, before he brought that thumb to his lips and licked the drop off.

I hated myself for it, but my body had a mind of its own as a heat grew inside me at the sight of the small action from Negan...

Grinning, as if he knew what he was doing to me, Negan took the can and finished the drink. Lowering the can, now finished, he nodded. "Absolutely perfect," he said as he kept his eyes locked on to mine. "Damn, I love this place."

"Negan," a guy called, pulling Negan's attention to him as he headed towards us. "Somethin' you might wanna see." He offered Negan a camera.

Negan tossed the can over his shoulder and grabbed the camera, his grin still in place. I swear he hardly ever stopped smiling. "Well, well, well. What do we have here? I got my fingers crossed for a little freaky-deaky." He chuckled as he turned the camera on.

" _You don't know me,_ " dad's voice spoke. " _I've killed people. I don't even know how many by now._ "

"Jee-hee-sus!" Negan stepped forward to dad, showing him the camera.

" _But I know why they're all dead._ "

"Is that you, Rick, underneath all that man-bush?" Negan gestured to the video playing.

" _They're dead so my family, all those people out there, can be alive._ "

"Shit. I would not have messed with that guy." He turned the video off and began to record. "But that's not you anymore is it? Nope." He aimed the camera at dad and zoomed in before turning it off and lowering the camera before raising his other hand to his face. "I really gotta shave this shit." He handed the camera back to the guy who'd given it to him.

I realised that had been dad's interview with Deanna. I'd been interviewed that day, too. We all had. It was a requirement to get into the community. There was a recording of all of us on that camera, and Negan was going to see every single one...

He began to speak again, getting my attention once more. "Whatever happened to that sick girl? That seemed like a hell of a stressful night for her. The way she was carrying on, she was married to number two, right?"

Maggie...

Sasha and Maggie weren't back yet. We didn't even know if they'd gotten to the Hilltop at all.

Hearing Negan talk about Maggie and Glenn like that though, it had my worry wash away and be replaced by my anger. He was crossing a line, talking about my two best friends like that.

He must have been crossing one of dad's line's too. "Careful. Careful how you're lookin' at me, Rick," he warned.

Knowing one of us had to be in control, I grabbed dad's hand. "Don't," was all I had to say before dad nodded and looked to the ground.

Negan chuckled as he watched me. "You and the sick girl... you two pretty close, huh?"

"She's my best friend. Her husband, too." I didn't even try to hide the venom in my voice.

Unlike with my dad, he let me speak to him like that, and glare. In fact, he didn't seem to care at all. He just nodded. "Where is she? I would love to see her."

"Do you care to pay your respects?"

Negan spun around at the sound of Gabriel's voice. "Ho-ly fuck! You are creepy as shit, sneaking up on me, wearin' that collar with that freaky-ass smile."

Gabriel just continued to smile. "My apologies. I'm Father Gabriel."

Nodding at the priest, Negan then looked over at dad and me again. "She didn't make it?"

Turning away, I shook my head.

I was lying, obviously. But I'd rather Negan think Maggie be dead, than let him know she was actually at the Hilltop.

My eyes locked with Daryl's.

He was trying to tell me he was sorry, and I could see he meant it. I could see it was killing him that he thought Maggie was dead, and he couldn't do anything to comfort me. After everything that had happened that night, Daryl knew I needed him more than ever. I needed the comfort of the man I loved.

But ignoring the pain of the truth, I silently, without words or movements, let him know about the lie. At least that would ease his mind a little.

**DPOV**

We stood by the graves. Gabriel, Rick, Negan, Vic and myself. I stood off to the side, looking down at the three fresh graves, two of which were probably Abraham's and Glenn's, the last being Maggie's fake one. But even though I knew it was fake, I couldn't stop looking at it, or I'd be forced to watch Negan and Vic some more.

I wasn't allowed to speak to anyone. I wasn't allowed to acknowledge anyone. If I did, Negan would break Rick's arm. I couldn't have that. I couldn't make Vic go through that. I couldn't do it to Rick. So I was doing as I was told, as much as it was killing me.

"Damn tragedy. That's what this is," Negan sighed. "Well, this must really suck for you guys. Number one? That was on me. No choice there. Lessons had to be learned. But number two? That didn't need to happen. Daryl, there, he forced my hand. Probably put her right on her back, huh?"

I knew Glenn's death was my fault. No one else was to blame but me.

Vic was probably blaming herself, but she didn't have to. I was the one that stepped out of line. I was the one that punched Negan. If I'd just stayed kneeling, and waited, Glenn would have survived that night.

Negan shrugged. "Damn. I was gonna ask her to come back with me."

I watched as Vic looked up at him as if he were insane.

But he just grinned down at her. "Oh, I know what you're thinkin'. How could I have a shot, guy that just bashed her husband's head in?" he chuckled. "You'd be surprised. Boy, people, they-"

Before Negan could finish, the sound of a gunshot rang through the community.

**CPOV**

"Put some back or the next one goes in you," I warned, aiming the gun in my hand at the two assholes in front of me. They were taking our medicines.

The guy in front laughed. "Kid what do you think happens next?"

"You die," I answered.

Dad rushed into the infirmary then. "Carl. Carl, put it down."

I didn't even look at him as I spoke. "No."

"Carl, please. Please put the gun down." Vickie stood next to dad, her voice almost begging.

I looked to her, seeing the fear in her eyes. "He's taking all of our medicine," I explained. "They said only half our stuff."

"Of course." Negan was a step behind my family, now standing next to my sister as he grinned at me. "Really, kid?"

I turned my glare to him. "You should go. Before you find out how dangerous we _all_ are."

He looked a little shocked. "Well, pardon me, young man. Excuse the shit out of my goddamn French, but... did you just threaten me? Look, I get threatening Davey here, but I can't have it. Not him, not me."

"Carl, just put it down," dad told me.

Negan shook his head. "Don't be rude, Rick. We are having a conversation here. Now, boy, where were we? Oh, yeah. Your giant, man-sized balls. No threatening us. Listen, I like you, so I don't want to go hard proving a point here. You don't want that. I said half your shit, and half is what I say it is. I'm serious. Do you want me to prove how serious? Again?"

I wanted to fight him. We needed to. If we let these people treat us like this, then we were no better than the walkers outside the walls. This isn't surviving, this is existing. We were better than that...

But Negan? He had a point. He wasn't right, but he had a point. I could shoot. I could threaten, and all that would do is piss him off and get another one of my friends dead.

With a sigh, I dropped the gun and handed it over to dad without a word.

Negan turned and took it from dad before I had stepped back to where I'd been standing before. Sighing, he spoke again. "You know, Rick, this whole thing reminds me that you have a lot of guns. There's all the guns you took from my outpost when you wasted all my people with a shit-ton of your own guns, and I'm bettin' there's even more, which adds up to an absolute ass-load of guns, and as this little emotional outburst just made crystal clear I can't allow that." He grinned. "They're all mine now. So tell me, Rick, where are my guns?"

**RPOV**

The garage door slowly opened, revealing Olivia standing there, clipboard in hand, waiting for us.

She looked from me, to Negan and then to Vickie. "Hi. I figured you were coming."

Vickie stepped away from Negan and towards Olivia as some of Negan's people gathered behind us. "We need you to show these people the guns, Olivia."

Olivia gave a short nod. "The armoury's inside," she told them before turning around to lead the way.

Negan stopped her before she could move. "You run the show in here?"

She looked at him again. "I-I just keep track of it all, the rations, the guns."

Negan nodded. "Good. Smart." He gestured for her to keep going. "Don't let me stop you. Take Arat and the boys. Show 'em the goods."

Olivia turned again and started for the armoury, Negan's people right behind her. But Negan stepped in my way as he grabbed Vickie's arm, stopping us.

"Sweetheart." He smiled down at Vickie. "I want you to go tell Dwighty boy that I need a truck at the front of this building. Can you do that for me?" he asked as he brushed some hair behind her ear.

It made me sick, seeing him like that with her. But I knew he was only doing it to get a reaction. I knew he'd keep doing it until he got a reaction. So I would hold out, for as long as I could, hoping I could keep my cool for as long as I could. Because if I snapped, I was sure he'd hurt Vickie as punishment. Why else would he be paying her so much attention?

Reluctantly, Vickie nodded. "You know where he is?"

"Down by the gate. He should be waiting there." Negan shrugged, pressing a finger under her chin, making her look up at him. "Don't be too long, I don't want to have to miss you."

Not saying anything in response, Vickie pulled away from him and turned for the roller door before leaving us. Now, it was only Negan and myself, standing there in the garage.

Negan turned to me. "I just want to point out to you that I'm not taking a scrap of your food. Slim pickin's in here. And I can't be the only one to notice that you got a fat lady in charge of keeping track of rations, can I? Either way, you starve to death, I don't get shit, so for now, you get to keep all the food. How 'bout that?"

I just looked up at him. "What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, Rick." He stepped closer, getting in my face. "How about a thank you. You think that might be in order? Or is that too much to ask?!"

This guy was easy to piss off. He'd made that clear. Everything I did seemed to make him angry, unless I was doing exactly what he said. I had no freewill. None of us did. Not anymore.

He chuckled. "Oh. I know we started off on the wrong foot, but what can I say? You forced my hand, Rick. But it's like I've been tryin' to tell you... I'm a very reasonable man as long as you cooperate, so let me ask you a question, Rick. Are you cooperating?"

"What's it look like?"

"Oh-ho-ho." He grinned. "I know what it looks like. But what I really want to know is if we're gonna find all the guns back there or if maybe you got a few just waitin' for their moment, just like my Lucille."

"They're all in there, to the best of my knowledge," I answered honestly.

He nodded. "Mm. I am countin' on that, Rick."

With nothing left to say, we turned and started for the armoury to join the others.

**VPOV**

Dwight leaned against the RV, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched me expectantly.

I just glared as I came to stand in front of him. "Negan wants you to take a truck to the armoury."

"And where would that be, darlin'?"

I gestured to the brownstones. "Over there," was all I was willing to give him.

He just shook his head, pulled himself off the RV and smiled. "Maybe you should show me where to park. So I don't get lost."

"If you think I'm gonna play nice with you, you've got another thing coming."

He stepped closer to me. "I don't think Negan would appreciate you talking to me like that, Victoria."

Doing the same as him, I took a step closer. "I don't think I give two flying shits, Dwight."

His smile just widened. "You've got two choices. Get in the truck now. Or get in the truck later." I frowned, confused. _What the hell did that mean?_ "Honestly, I think you're better off now. Unless you want to be riding shotgun with Negan." He grinned as he waited for his words to click.

My eyes went wide. Was Dwight telling me that Negan was going to take me? Was he going to ask me to go back with him just like he said he'd been wanting to ask Maggie? What would happen if I said no? Would they take me? Would they leave Daryl as a trade?

"So what's it gonna be, darlin'?"

Glaring I gave in. "I'm driving."

"Fine by me." Shrugging, he tossed me the keys before we moved to the truck.

 

...

 

I jumped out of the truck, moving over to where Negan leaned against a railing at the front of the pantry house, looking so comfortable and casual as he watched me with that grin on his face. Dad was close by, obviously hating every bit of this. I didn't blame him, but I was trying not to dwell on the situation.

My mental state was on the brink of bad. I had to keep trying to find the bright side of everything, or I was gonna go insane. Fighting through it was how I was able to deal with this whole Negan situation.

Tossing the keys at Negan- not to, _at_ \- I watched as he caught them effortlessly.

His grin widened as Dwight came around from the other side of the truck. "You two play nice?" he asked us.

Dwight shrugged. "I don't think she likes me very much."

"Is that so?" Negan turned to me. "Don't you like Dwight Boy?"

Looking from Dwight and then back to Negan, I answered with the truth. "I mean, he stole from Daryl, killed my friend, threatened a bunch of us, kidnapped more of my friends, and is a cowardly bastard. So, no, I don't like him."

"Wow!" Negan looked amused and surprised. "There is some tension there. Maybe you two should work it out? Get a room?" He continued to grin.

"Not gonna happen. Not even if he was the last man on Earth," I noted.

Dwight pretended to be offended. "Victoria, you wound me."

"Trust me Dwight, you'll know when I wound you."

Negan laughed as he pushed off the railings. "Sweetheart, you are one feisty girl. Would never get bored with you around. Bet you'd put on a good show."

Shrugging, I pointed to some guns Negan's people were bringing out and putting in the truck. "Give me one of those, and I'll put on a show right now. Maybe mess up the other half of Dwight's face."

I swear, there was nothing I could say at this moment that would not have Negan laughing or grinning. He just found me so amusing, which was not good. If anything, it actually made me feel small and powerless.

Still laughing, Negan shook his head. "Daryl is one lucky man." Grinning at me for a second longer, he then turned his attention to dad. "You know what today is, Rick? Today is a banner day. Yes, it is. I think this little arrangement we have is gonna work out just fine." He nodded. "I think _all_ our arrangements are gonna work out." He looked to me for a moment.

I hadn't told anyone about my deal with Negan about Carl. I wasn't exactly sure how I was supposed to explain that I'd agreed to do whatever Negan wanted, so he would never hurt Carl. If dad or Daryl- or _any_ one- found out, they'd probably think I was mad.

Daryl walked out from the pantry house then, carrying an arm full of guns.

Negan grabbed one from the top. "Hold up. Let's see if you've been taking care of my guns." He cocked the gun, aiming it at Daryl's head.

But Daryl kept moving. He didn't even look up or flinch or anything. He was like a robot on autopilot.

I reacted though. I just couldn't help it as my breath caught in my throat and I put myself between the gun and my husband.

Instead of shooting, Negan held my gaze and aimed the gun at a window, shooting and shattering the glass. The sound had me jump a little, but other than that, I held my ground- even though Daryl hadn't stopped when I'd stepped in his way, and was still working.

Negan chuckled. "Feels good. Sounds good! Oh, I do believe Lucille's gettin' a little jealous." He grinned.

Another person walked out of the building then, carrying the RPG Abraham, Daryl and Sasha had brought back after dealing with the large walker herd a few months back.

Negan grabbed the weapon, and handed the gun to the man who moved on to the truck. "Well, ho-ly smokes! Look at this! It was you guys that took out Little Timmy and the Dick Brigade?" Dad and I shared a look as Negan went on. "Wow, Rick. Gettin' in your last licks. Ooh, man, I'm gonna have some fun with this."

Just then, Arat and Olivia came out of the building, the Saviour pushing Oliva ahead, clearly treating her poorly.

"Please, I-I don't know for-" Olivia tried to explain something, but wasn't being listened to.

Negan frowned at his person. "Arat, we don't do that unless they do somethin' to deserve it," he explained.

The woman nodded. "Yeah, we went through the inventory. Guns in the armoury, guns they had around the walls, they're short. Two glock 9s and a .22 Bobcat." She handed him the inventory book.

_Shit..._

Negan looked to Olivia. "Is that true?"

She nodded, clearly terrified of the man, though I didn't blame her. Without the experience I'd had with assholes like this, I probably would have been shitting my pants.

"We had some people leave town," dad tried to explain. "Those guns probably went with them."

Negan wasn't listening to any excuses or reasons. "So Olivia sucks at her job. Is that what you're sayin'?"

Dad shook his head. "No. No, I'm not sayin'-"

Negan cut him off. "There should be a full accounting here, right? Top to bottom." He turned back to Olivia. "Am I right?"

"No," she answered right away before correcting herself. "I mean, yes. The inventory is correct."

"Good." Negan nodded before stepping closer to her. "But not so good, too. You see, what's in here isn't in there. You're three handguns short. Do you know where they are?"

Olivia was shaking she was so scared. "No. I… I…"

I sighed. "Negan."

Slowly, he turned his attention to me. "Victoria."

Holding his gaze, I reached into the back of my pants, and pulled out the gun there, before handing it over without a word.

Frowning, Negan reached for the gun, and took it from me. "You had one?"

"Yes."

"Why wasn't that recorded?"

"I stole it."

His eyes went wide. "You _stole_ it?"

Shrugging, I nodded. "Yeah."

"Do you know where the others are?"

"If I did, I would have given them up with that one."

Shaking his head, Negan turned to dad. "This is disappointing, Rick. I thought that we had an understanding. But this..." He gestured to my gun and the inventory book. "Well, this shows that someone's not on board, and I can't have that." He looked to Olivia again. "I don't enjoy killing women. Men. I can waste them all the live long. But at the end of the day, Olivia, my dear, this was your responsibility."

Dad went to step in right away. "Look, we can work this out."

"Oh, yes, we can. And I'm going to, right now." Negan was pissed, his raised voice making Olivia whimper. "This was your job, and you screwed up," he told her. "Keeping track of guns? That shit is life and death."

**RPOV**

I placed Lucille down on the window sill looking down at the bat with distaste, clenching and unclenching my fists over and over as I thought through the situation and our lack of options.

"I thought about hiding some of the guns," I started, talking to all my people as we gathered in the church. "I did it before. I figured I could bury some out there. Maybe we don't touch them for years."

"Years?" Tobin asked as if that was outrageous.

Vickie, who stood at the front with me, nodded. "You don't understand. If the Saviours find us with guns... what if they search every nook and cranny of this place? What if they spy on us and spot us out with guns? They will kill one of us. Or _lots_ of us." She sighed, "These people, they will win. No matter how many bullets or guns we have."

Going on from what she said, I went on. "It's that black-and-white. Hiding a couple of guns isn't the answer, not anymore. We don't have to like it, but we need to give them over." I looked to everyone. "A Glock 9 and a .22. That's what they're looking for. Who has it?" When no one spoke, I pressed, "Someone knows where they are or they know who does. If we don't find them, they're gonna kill Olivia. They'll do it."

Scott stood up. "Why do they care? Two guns aren't a threat to them. But those guns could help protect us from whatever else is out there."

"Do you have 'em?" I asked without hesitation.

He shook his head as he sat back down. "Wish I did."

"Look, I get it. You guys wanna fight." Vickie stepped closer to them, trying to get each of them to hear her. "Most of you weren't there. You didn't have to watch as they caved in the skulls of two of our people. Two friends." She shook her head. "Someone who does that... they'll do anything."

I stepped up to her, resting a hand on her shoulder for support as I finished. "You didn't have to watch then. You can look away now when someone else dies, or you can help solve this. We give them what they want, and we live in peace."

Eric stood up. "Say we find the guns. How are we gonna get out of this, Rick?"

I didn't understand how these people weren't getting my point... "There is no way out of this." I looked to every face in the room as they all watched me and Vickie. "Let me put this to all of you as clearly as I can. We're not in charge anymore. Negan is."

Having had enough, Vickie sighed with frustration and impatience. "Now, who has the fucking guns?"

As the room fell silent and everyone waited, looking at each other expectantly as if the guilty person would confess right here and now, Vickie and I waited. A few moments past before Eugene finally spoke up, but it wasn't a confession...

"Not everyone's here."

**  
**

**Chapter 8**

**A Proposal**

**VPOV**

I stepped out of Spencer's house and into the courtyard by its side where my people and I had waited for Deanna on our first day here. Dad, Gabriel and Aaron were looking for the two missing guns inside. While Negan sat with Olivia outside, on some chairs by a table where a pitcher of lemonade and a glass sat. Both sets of eyes watched me as I descended the stairs and moved towards the pair.

"Vickie, what are you doing?" Negan asked, a playful grin on his lips.

Ignoring his question, I stepped up to Olivia. "I'm pretty sure there are more important things for you to be doing then sitting around keeping our guest company." I smiled at her. "Why don't you help Negan's people with the rest of the guns and make sure they don't screw up?"

Olivia looked a little unsure. On one hand, I was a leader of our people and she looked up to me, so of course she wanted to go. But on the other hand, she wasn't too sure if Negan would allow it.

I didn't care what he thought though.

Shrugging, I continued to smile at her. "Don't worry, I'll keep him company."

Finally making up her mind, Olivia stood and went to leave, not moving too fast or slow so as not to piss Negan off even more than he might already be.

But before she left, I stopped her. "Oh, and Olivia?" Once she faced me, I went on, "If any Saviour gives you trouble..." reaching out, I handed her my knife. "Kill them," I told her, smile still firmly in place.

With nothing left to say, Olivia scurried out of the place, leaving me alone with Negan.

I could feel him watching me as I continued to stand there. He even watched me as I took Olivia's seat and sat next to him. It wasn't until I stopped moving that he actually said something.

"You really think killing my people is going to solve your problems?"

"Nope." I shrugged. "But I don't have to worry."

"And why's that?"

"She's never killed a person before. She's not gonna start now."

He chuckled. "So, what, you thought you'd come out here, take her place, piss me off a little, and hope all would be forgiven?"

"No." I turned to meet his gaze for the first time since coming outside. "I thought I'd come out here, save my friend, offer myself up instead and piss you off a little."

He simply grinned. "Offer yourself up?"

 _Of course that's what got his attention._ "If we can't find the guns, you're gonna kill Olivia, right?"

He gave a short nod. "Yes."

"Well, it's not really her fault that they're missing. I mean, _I_ stole one. Whoever has the other guns probably stole them too. Shit happens. It's not Olivia's fault. But it is mine."

"And how's that, Sweetheart?"

"I stole a gun, I shouldn't have done that. And I'm a leader around here. I should be more responsible and more involved with the place."

He watched me as he took in my words, sitting there silently. I couldn't tell what was going through his head, but I could see he was thinking something through. I just hoped I wasn't putting myself in too much danger, putting myself in this position.

"So, what? You want me to kill you if the guns aren't found?" he asked, as if the idea didn't seem too crazy to him, but not exactly right at the same time.

"Better me than an innocent." I noted.

But he just shook his head. "Not gonna happen. So, I'll just take you instead."

I scoffed. "Weren't you going to do that already?"

Chuckling lightly, he nodded. "You spoke to Dwight."

"Yeah."

"It's not what it looks like. I don't just _take_ women like that. Sure, if I need to take a hostage, I will. But I'm not the kind of person you think I am. Like I told Olivia, I hate killing women." He shrugged. "I was never going to take you. I was going to ask you to come back."

"What makes you think I'd ever agree to that?" I asked, shocked he'd even think that.

His grin widened. "Like I was saying about your friend. People do things when they're emotional and desperate." Reaching for his glass of lemonade, he took a quick sip. "Trust me, Sweetheart. You'll come eventually."

 

...

 

I stood with Negan as he watched his people, Olivia and Daryl carry out all the guns. But I was focused on something else.

One of Negan's men, Davey- the one Carl had been aiming at in the infirmary, who also happened to be the asshole who slapped me the night we met Negan- was currently taunting Enid over some green balloons she wanted. I recognised the balloons instantly. They were the ones that she and Glenn used to give us a sign that Glenn was alive and okay after the walker herd.

"Balloons?" Davey grinned at her. "You going to a party, little girl?"

I glared as I watched the asshole, wanting nothing more than to beat his ass into the ground.

Biting her tongue, Enid played nice. "Can I keep them, please?" Shifting on the spot, she looked up at him. "It's just... let me keep them."

Davey leered at her with a sick grin. "Say please again, little girl."

Watching the scene before me brought up memories from my past...

_Merle's hand grabbed my wrist before tugging me towards him and away from Maggie as he pressed a gun to my head. "Easy girl, easy there," he cooed._

_Glenn came around from the other side of our car, his gun out and in hand, ready. But the moment he saw Merle holding me, he froze, just like Maggie had._

_"Hey, hey, hold up, buddy, hold up." Merle watched the gun in Glenn's hand._

_Glenn and Maggie shared a look, each panicked. "Let go of her, Merle," Glenn warned._

_"Let go of her!" Maggie was more pissed than Glenn, her eyes told me she was ready to rip the man apart._

_But Merle just shook his head. "Put your guns in the car right now. Put them in the car, kids."_

_A tear fell down my cheek as I wondered if I was going to come out alive after this. All the while Maggie and Glenn did as he said._

_Merle nodded, pleased. "There you go. Now we're gonna go for a little drive."_

_But Glenn shook his head. "We're not going back to our camp."_

_"No, we're going somewhere else." Merle shrugged. "Get in the car! Glenn, you're driving!" he yelled. "Move!" He pressed the gun against my head harder._

_"Don't." Glenn stepped closer, seeing the pain in my eyes, the fear. We all knew the only way I might survive is if we all listened to the man, so with that Glenn sighed. "Okay." He moved to the driver's side._

Glenn was always willing to stand up for me, to help me whenever I needed it. He was always willing to do whatever it took, even if that meant giving in. Though more times than not, he fought. We all fought for each other.

Having had enough, of this asshole messing around with Enid, I did something I probably shouldn't have...

Reaching over to Negan, I pulled out his knife while he was talking. I spun around before anyone could react, and threw the knife towards Davey, making the blade dig into the tree by both him and Enid, having only missed him by a breath.

Moving before anyone could register what I'd done, I stepped over and stood in between him and Enid, pulling the knife out of the tree while I kept my eyes on him. "Give her the balloons, or next time I won't miss."

"What the fuck is going on here?!" Negan moved over to us.

Glaring at his man, I pointed the tip of the knife at the balloons. "You really need some balloons, Negan? Or is this asshole just making up any excuse to torment my friend?"

"Why do _you_ need them, Sweetheart?" Davey continued to grin.

I glared harder, stepping closer as I pressed the tip of the knife against his chin now. "Sentimental fucking value, asshole. And don't _ever_ call me Sweetheart again. Or I will chop your balls of and feed them to you."

"Vickie," Negan warned. "Give me the knife? Your brother already tried this. Don't make me do something I don't want to do."

"No." I shook my head, pressing the knife into Davey's chin more. He flinched as a drop of blood appeared. "This is the asshole who slapped me that night. Tore my wound open. I promised him he'd regret that."

Sighing, his patience run thin, Negan reached forward and wrapped his gloved hand over my wrist of the hand holding the knife. "Vickie. Let go. Do not make me ask again."

I didn't want to. All I wanted was to drive the knife into this asshole's gut and watch him bleed out. He was a monster, the kind of person I'd had to deal with many times before. People like him, needed to be dealt with before they screw things up more. But as much as I didn't want to hand the knife over, I knew I didn't really have much of a choice. So, reluctantly, I lowered my hand and let Negan take the weapon from me.

"Atta girl." Negan grinned down at me as he pulled me away from Davey. Turning to his man, he sighed. "Did you slap, Victoria?"

Davey shrugged. "Yeah, but she deserved it."

I shook my head, moving to step up to him again. "You asshole."

Negan held me back and he chuckled. "Jesus, you are a feisty one. But I really need you to stay back while I talk to Davey." Watching me, he waited until I nodded before turning back to Davey. "Did she really deserve it? Because you know we don't hurt others unless they give us a reason."

Davey shrugged yet again. "She threatened me," he lied through his teeth.

"You piece of shit," I snarled. Yeah, I'd threatened him, but only _after_ he'd slapped me.

Still holding me back, Negan sighed. "Now, Sweetheart. If Davey says you threatened him, I'm gonna have to believe him. Especially after the crap you just pulled."

My jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

"Look, I can't exactly trust you when you've stolen a gun from your own people, and threw a knife at one of my own. Which was pretty fucking hot by the way. So, until proven otherwise, I'm gonna have to believe you threatened my man."

I could not believe what I was hearing. Although, this was Negan...

"Whatever." I shook my head. "Just give Enid the balloons, Negan. You don't need them. And keep that freak away from her," I told him before walking off, leaving the three of them behind.

As I turned, I could see a lot of people watching us. But the people who had my attention where the four standing by one of the apartments. Dad, Carl, Aaron and Gabriel had gathered, watching the scene between Negan, Davey, Enid and myself. I wasn't sure if they were pleased or pissed that I had stuck up for one of our own, but I didn't give them time to let me know. Instead I just looked away from them and moved down the road, no longer interested in playing Negan's games.

**NPOV**

I watched as Victoria walked off, not really bothered by her behaviour. In all honest I knew what Davey was like, and I didn't really believe him, but I had to keep my people happy, so until I could find out the truth, I was gonna stay on his side.

But I was not going to let him bully the teen girl Vickie had stood up for.

"Give her the balloons, Davey, and leave her alone," was all I said before I walked off, knowing Davey wouldn't do anything that might piss me off. He was stupid, yes, but not that stupid. As I headed back to the truck, I spotted Rick heading over to me. "What you got for me, Rick?" He handed me the two missing guns. "Well, would you look at that? They were here after all. Funny how a little 'Holy shit! Somebody's gonna die!' lights a fire under everybody's ass!"

Olivia whimpered as she stood with Arat and Dwight.

I ignored her, keeping my attention on Rick. "So, tell me, Rick. Which one of your fine folks almost cost Olivia the rest of her days?"

He looked away. "It doesn't matter anymore."

"No, it matters. See, you need to get everybody on board. _Everybody_. Or we just go right back to square one." I handed the two guns over to one of my men who then put them in the truck with the others.

He closed the truck up, the door rattling as it lowered.

Grinning once more, I shrugged. "Now why don't we go find that daughter of yours? Make sure she hasn't done anything stupid in my absence."

**VPOV**

The Saviour's vehicles began to roll out the gates. I watched from where I sat on the step of the RVs door way. Aly was inside with Houdini, playing in the little bedroom. None of the Saviours had touched the vehicle during their raid. I wasn't sure why, but I was slightly thankful. One of the trucks came to a stop right inside the gate, off to the side a little, the one after it stopping as well.

Negan, dad, Daryl, Dwight and the rest of the Saviours were headed back from the apartments, Negan grinning at me as he sauntered towards the gates.

Our van and once of our cars drove in at that moment, Spencer and Rosita back from a task Dwight had them go do. Everyone watched them as they drove in and stopped behind the RV.

"Vickie, why don't you come join us, Sweetheart?" Negan called as he came to a stop. He didn't even look at me when he spoke.

Sighing, I got to my feet. "Aly, stay inside," I called as I closed the door.

Moving over to the man, I felt the need for physical violence in me build. There was nothing I wanted more than to hurt something. It didn't even have to be Negan or a Saviour. I just wanted something to help let me get some frustrations out.

The moment I stood next to him, Negan draped an arm over my shoulder as he smiled at my dad. "Hell of a place you got here, Rick."

Something caught dad's attention as he looked out into the distance before turning back to Negan. "Give me a second." He nodded outside the gates.

Negan and I both looked, just seeing Michonne duck away into one of the burnt houses outside our gates.

Grinning, Negan shook his head as he turned back to my dad. "No."

Dad sighed, looking at the ground, hating every moment of the situation. "Please, can you just give me a second?" he tried again.

Chuckling lightly, loving every bit of this situation, Negan shrugged. "Don't keep me waiting too long. Or I might decide to stay a little longer. Keep Vickie here company." He tugged me closer.

Dad froze as he looked at Negan's arm over my shoulder. I could see the internal struggle he was going through, wanting to stay and keep me safe but also needing to go see Michonne as well.

I gave him a short nod, hoping to ease his mind. "I'll be fine."

Knowing there was nothing he could do to help me even if I wasn't, dad decided to walk off then, heading over to his girlfriend, leaving me with a monster.

**RPOV**

I walked into the half-burnt house, still feeling pretty unsure about my decision to leave Vickie with Negan. But the moment I saw Michonne, I pushed that aside, as her eyes looked down at the bat in my hand.

"He had me hold it," I explained, pausing a moment before going on. "I need the rifle."

She looked shocked and confused. "What?"

I gestured to the bag in her hand. "I know it's in the bag. I know what you're doing out there."

"What am I doing out there?"

"You're practising," I answered without missing a beat. "We have to give up our guns, all of them."

"We can't," she argued.

"If you keep it, and they find it, someone dies. I'm not losing you or Vickie or Carl or anyone else. I'm not losing _any_ one else!" I told her, trying to calm myself. The guilt I'd been hiding the last few days was slowly rising, but I managed to push it back down. "Now I'm giving it to them. Are you gonna let me?"

We stood there for a moment looking at each other, unmoving.

Seeing that she wasn't going to hand the bag over, I sighed. "Negan has been walking around with Vickie on his arm. He has been taunting her all day. Teasing her. Treating her like she belongs to him." I shook my head. "If we piss him off, she's the first to go. I can _feel_ it."

Michonne's eyes went wide then at the idea of Negan doing something to Vickie, or even just taking her. She was family to everyone. Vickie... she made it her mission to be everyone's friend, and take care of everyone. She- just like Glenn- was the glue that helped keep us all together.

"Please," I begged. "Please... just give me the bag."

**VPOV**

Negan faced me, standing really close, his back to the gate as he hummed, looking down at me with that grin of his plastered on his face. "I had fun today. We should really do this again sometime."

I didn't bother with a response. I just stood there, looking at him with a neutral stare. I was no longer in the mood to play along. I wanted him and his people gone. Now.

Seeing movement behind his shoulders, I looked over, seeing Michonne storming towards us, a dead deer resting on her shoulders. Dad wasn't too far behind, a rifle in hand, Lucille still in the other.

Negan turned just as Michonne walked past. He watched her. "Look at this!"

Dad stopped by us. "I thought she was scavenging. She was hunting. This one never came inside." He handed the rifle over to Negan. "We kept it near the line."

Negan took the gun. "Look at this. This is something to build a relationship on. Good for you, Rick. This is readin' the room and gettin' the message. I've said it before, I'm gonna say it again. You, sir, are special." He turned and handed the gun over to Arat.

Dad shifting on the spot before he spoke again. "Now that you know we can follow your rules..."

"Yes?" Negan waited expectantly.

Looking up at him, dad went on. "I'd like to ask you if Daryl can stay."

"Not happenin'." Negan didn't even think about it before he answered. The words just spilled from his mouth.

I stepped up to Negan, hating how desperate I sounded as I spoke. "Please."

He looked down at me with a proud grin, obviously feeling pretty good about himself. Shrugging he turned to Daryl. "You know what? I don't know. Maybe Daryl can plead his case. Maybe Daryl can sway me. Daryl?"

We all waited and watched as Daryl just stood there, looking down at the ground, unmoving and silent. It was so wrong, seeing him so weak and broken. I had no idea what they'd done to him, or were doing to him, but whatever it was, it was wrong and had to stop.

Negan chuckled. "Well, you tried." He shrugged as he spoke to dad. "Now what you got to do is get over that tall wall of yours and try harder out there. Earn for me. Because we're coming back soon, and when we do, you better have something interesting for us, or Lucille, she's gonna have her way." He paused before going on, "I want you to hear that again. If you don't have something interesting for us somebody's gonna die."

The idea of him killing anyone of us had me feeling sick. All the people here, they were family. Some were closer to me than others, but I'd still made time to get to know everyone. After the walls went back up and I decided to help lead, I made it my mission to learn everyone's name.

If Negan killed _any_ one... it would chip away at my already broken heart and damaged sanity.

"And no more magic guns." Negan added before turning to his people. "Arat, grab that deer. It's getting late. Let's go home."

Michonne just dropped the deer's body on the ground before she walked off, clearly pissed off at the situation.

"Man, I love a gal that buys me dinner and doesn't expect me to put out." Negan chuckled.

Now that they were all going, Dwight stepped up to Rosita and Spencer as they stood by our van and Daryl's bike- which they'd apparently gone and grabbed.

"I'll take that." Dwight nodded as he grabbed the bike's handles and looked to my friend. "Ro-si-ta! Got a little thank-you." He tossed her hat at her and she caught it. "That's all you're getting back. Took all your guns, most of your beds. I hope you find a place to lay your pretty little head," he laughed lightly. "Did you find anything else out there?

She nodded, meeting his gaze. "Just your dead friends."

Not responding to her besides another little laugh, Dwight got on to the bike and turned it on, riding over to stop by Daryl for a moment. "You can have it back. Just say the word."

But when Daryl continued to stay silent, Dwight shrugged and drove off, leaving the community and disappearing into the distance.

Once he was gone, Negan spoke again. "So, nobody died. And you know what I think? I think you and I, we've refined our understanding. Let me ask you something, Rick. Do you want me to go?"

Dad nodded. "I think that'd be good."

Negan shrugged. "Then just say those two magical words."

It took a moment before dad spoke. It appeared as if whatever the two words were, they were difficult to say. That could be for any number of reasons, but I had a feeling it was because dad was really starting to struggle with this reverse of power. Negan had been right about one thing that night when we'd been in the RV... Dad was addicted to being in charge.

Finally, dad spoke. "Thank you."

Negan chuckled, grinning widely. "Don't be ridiculous. Thank _you_."

The sound of a walker growling in the distance grabbed my attention and lit up my excitement.

Negan turned to look at the undead dead guy. "Another one." he shrugged. "You need our help."

But I shook my head. "I got this one."

Looking at me with amusement, Negan nodded. "Go for it, Sweetheart."

Having no weapons to use, I reached over and took Negan's knife once more before I stepped forward. Though I didn't kill the walker right away. No, that would be too easy. Instead, I circled it, teasing it as it followed, trying to grab some part of me in order to take a bite.

"Come on. Show me what you got," Negan encouraged.

Reaching out with my free hand I grabbed the walker's shoulder, held him at bay, before I brought Negan's knife up and under the walker's chin, stabbing it straight through to its brain.

Pulling the knife out quickly, I let the thing fall to the ground. Stepping up to it, I stomped my boot on to its head, causing its brains and blood to splatter on to the road before me.

A clapped sounded from inside the community.

Looking up, Negan watched me, applauding. "Vic-tor-i-a." He grinned from where he stood a step or so in front of dad. "I knew you'd put on a show."

Moving forward, I ignored his words as I offered him his knife back. I'd just killed a walker. It wasn't like I'd done some kind of acrobatic performance or something.

But he just shook his head as he refused to take the knife. "I want you to keep it, seeing as you know how to use it so well." I looked at him, surprised, but before I could question him, he turned to his people. "Okay, let's move out!" he called as he started towards the truck.

I watched him for a moment, wondering what the hell just happened. He'd just given me his knife... it felt wrong... it felt familiar...

"Oh, wait." Negan chuckled as he stopped and turned again, now facing dad. "How careless of me." Shaking his head, he moved to my father.

I noticed then that dad still held Lucille in his hand...

Negan stopped by dad's side. "You didn't think I was gonna leave Lucille, did ya? I mean, after what she did, why would you want 'er?" Reaching forward, he got into dad's personal space as he reached for Lucille. "Thank you for being so accommodating, friend." Grinning, he leaned closer, speaking his next words so lowly, I only _just_ heard them. "In case you haven't caught on... I just slipped my dick down your throat, and you thanked me for it."

The look on my dad's face... it broke my heart seeing a man so strong, so brave and so important to me, look this powerless and torn.

Grinning, Negan slowly looked over to me. Adjusting his grip on Lucille, he gestured for me to come. "Walk me to my truck, Sweetheart."

Still pretty confused about the knife situation, and concerned about my father's state, I simply stepped forward and let Negan drape his arm over my shoulder before he led us towards the truck in front of the line. When we reached the vehicle, Negan stopped me by its side, holding me there as he leaned in closer. It was horrible and wrong, but I couldn't help it. His actions and movements caused a heat to grow inside me.

He was so close, I could feel his breath on my ear as he spoke. "I want you to think about something for me. I want you to think about your people, and your situation. I want you to think about your daughter. Because the only way I'm giving Daryl back... is if you take his place."

I flinched at his words, remembering what he'd said not too long ago... _"Trust me, Sweetheart. You'll come with me eventually."_

His grin was wide as he pulled back, but only enough so I could see his face. He was still very close. "You think about that for me, won't you, Sweetheart?" Pulling back, he didn't even look at me as he stepped into the truck. Though I didn't miss the grin on his lips as he did so. "Until next time."

Moving away I stared at the ground as the truck drove, leaving the community.

The last truck was close behind it. I turned my attention to this one, seeing Daryl sitting in the back of it. I walked forward to stand with dad as we watched the vehicle drive off.

Daryl looked up, watching us from where he sat. His eyes met mine and I felt everything inside me shatter as Negan's ultimatum echoed in my mind.

_"I want you to think about something for me. I want you to think about your people, and your situation. I want you to think about your daughter. Because the only way I'm giving Daryl back... is if you take his place."_

"Dad..."

He nodded beside me. "Don't worry. We'll get him back. No matter what. We will get him back," he tried to reassure me.

Hearing his words, I realised I couldn't tell him what Negan had said. Dad would never let me give myself up as a trade. No one would. It kind of defeated the purpose of getting Daryl back.

But at the same time as I realised this, I also made my mind up. Negan and his people would be back in a week, maybe less. So until then, I was going to spend as much time with my friends and family as possible. Because the moment Negan and his people come back, I'm going to give myself up.

**RPOV**

Closing the gate with the help of Vickie, I could tell there was something wrong with her. I knew it wasn't just because of Negan or Daryl. There was a slight nervousness about her. She'd had it since that night we met Negan, but now it seemed worse. There was no point in trying to get an answer out of her though, so instead I stayed silent as we turned to walk off. That's when I spotted Spencer.

"Spencer!" I called out, walking over to him with Vickie right behind me. "We took the guns you had in your house," I explained to him. "The Saviours wanted ours, all of them. There were two missing from the inventory. They were gonna kill Olivia. Spencer."

But all he had to say was, "You went into my house?"

"That's what you care about? Are you kidding me?" Vickie looked at him as if he was insane. "They were going to _kill_ Olivia."

Sighing, I shook my head. "Look, I'm not faulting you for having the guns. I did it myself. But the food and liquor? That's 'cause you're small, Spencer. You're weak. You got lucky with the walls. You got lucky with us," I told him before Vickie and I headed off, moving towards the RV.

Spencer called after us. "We should've made a deal with them when we could've. Oh, yeah, we're so lucky. You've led us all to the Promised Land! Isn't that right, Rick?! Here we are! I guess Glenn and Abraham were lucky, too?"

Vickie and I froze.

"I'm gonna kill him," Vickie muttered.

Grabbing her arm to stop her, I called to Spencer without turning. "You say anything like that again to me, I'll break your jaw, knock your teeth out. You understand?" When he stayed silent, I pushed for a response, "Say yes."

There was a short pause before he spoke. "Yes."

With nothing left to say to him, I let go of Vickie's arm and kept moving. "We can't lose any more people, Vickie. Just let it go."

Doing as I said, she walked beside me once more until we reached the door of the RV, where she disappeared, slamming the door behind her.

**VPOV**

I dropped down on to the long lounge by the door in the RV with a heavy sigh, running a hand over my face as I thought over what I was going to do now.

"Mummy?" Aly poked her head out from the back room.

Offering her a gentle smile I nodded. "Yeah, it's me sweetie."

Carefully, she moved out from behind the curtain. "Daryl's gone again, isn't he?"

"Yeah," I told her honestly but also guiltily. "I wish I could have done something to keep him here. But Negan said no."

Moving to sit next to me, she gave a short shrug. "It's not your fault. I know that now. And I know you'll do whatever it takes to get Daryl back." She offered me a reassuring smile. "You won't let Mr Negan win."

Looking down at her, I was shocked. Aly was still very young, but after everything we'd all been through, it was hard to stay innocent. It hurt, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop the word from hardening her

She looked so sure and determined. She wasn't scared or worried anymore. I could only imagine what kind of woman she would grow up to be. I just hoped it wasn't a monster...

"I miss Maggie and Sasha," she said out of nowhere with a heavy sigh.

Looking down at her, I nodded. "Me too, sweetie. Me too."

**  
**

**Chapter 9**

**Going for a Drive**

**MPOV**

I woke up, finding myself lying on my side, facing a vase full of blue flowers. It was a kind gesture. Whoever had gotten them for me, I knew cared. Many names came to mind at that thought. Glenn being the first. Sasha, Vickie, Rick, Carl, Michonne, Rosita, Tara, Carol. But Glenn was the one name that hurt.

He was gone now...

"Welcome back."

I turned over, seeing a man standing by the bed I was on. I recognised him almost instantly, but didn't speak.

Taking my silence as confusion, he spoke again. "Do you remember me? I'm Dr. Carson. You're at Hilltop Colony." When I still didn't say anything, he went on. "You've been asleep for a while. You suffered from the condition abruptio placentae. It's a separation of the placenta from uterus," he explained. "It's unusual this early, but, uh could be caused by trauma. Possibly the bruises on your abdomen-"

I cut him off, needing to now only one thing. "Did I-I-" Taking a deep breath, I managed one more word as my nerves and fears shook me. "Lose?

He shook his head. "No. Separation was small. Baby's heart rate is normal." Reaching over to a machine, he pressed something cool against my stomach. "Here, listen."

Once a button on the machine clicked, I heard the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. The sound of my baby's heart beating.

"There it is." Dr. Carson smiled at me reassuringly.

I took a deep breath in as I listened to the light thrum of my baby's heart. It was beautiful. It was like nothing I'd ever heard before.

Nothing mattered more to me now, than this baby. This baby, whether it was a boy or a girl, was half of me and half of Glenn. Now that I'd lost my husband, I was determined to do whatever it took to keep my baby safe. It was the last of Glenn I had left, and I would not loss anymore.

"You have any questions?"

I hadn't even realized that Dr Carson had been speaking while I' been listening to my baby. I'd been so engrossed in the moment.

Sitting up I needed him to repeat what he said. I need to know everything I had to do for my baby.

"Whoa, whoa." He moved to help me. "Easy. Easy, easy, easy, easy."

Breathing shallowly, I spoke, "Can you say that again?"

"What?"

"Everything you just said," I told him.

**VPOV**

"Where are you going?" dad asked as he rushed down the stairs of the porch.

I shook my head, not stopping as I moved down the road. "Just, take care of Aly while I'm gone. Okay?"

Aly had stayed with me last night. After the Saviours had left and everyone had gone back to their homes, the two of us- with Houdini- had stayed in the RV. We hadn't left it until this morning, when I had made my mind up on what I was going to do.

Knowing I couldn't take Aly with me, I'd come to the house to drop her off, hoping that she would slip in without anyone noticing, so I could slip out just as stealthily. But- of course- dad had been in the kitchen, and had spotted her. So, before I could leave, he'd come after me- seeing as I still refused to enter the house, even to talk.

"I have to go see Maggie."

Dad suddenly grabbed my shoulder, pulling me to a stop before he moved to stand in front of me. "You're not going alone. No one leaves by themselves. We don't know who or what is out there."

He was worried. He was worried Negan might have someone watching us, making sure we did as he said and didn't run. Dad was paranoid- though I honestly couldn't blame him. After everything that had happened, of course he wanted everyone to stick together.

But I needed to go, and everyone else had to stay here. We needed people scavenging. We needed people keeping an eye on the place. With no guns, and now less supplies than we required- though surprisingly no change in food stock- we needed numbers here.

Sighing, I shook my head again. "Dad, I _have_ to go. Maggie is my best friend. Both her and Sasha need to know what's going on here. And we need to know what's going on with them." I looked away from him then. "I need to know the baby is okay."

That baby was the only thing left of Glenn in the world. We all had memories and were part of him, yes, but that baby was _actually_ half of him. I would do anything and everything for the little girl or boy.

Dad was watching me. I could feel his eyes looking down on me even though my own refused to meet them.

After a moment, he finally spoke, "You go there and you come straight back. I'm going to look for supplies with Aaron. We'll be gone for a few days. If you're not back by then, I will go to the Hilltop myself and I will bring you back." Looking up at him now, I could see how serious he was. "I can't have you out there when we don't know what Negan will do next. If you're gone when he comes back-"

I cut him off, knowing where he was going with this, "I know." Nodding, I tried for a reassuring smile. "I'll came back as soon as I can."

"Good." Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to my forehead before stepping back again. "We'll take care of Aly. You take care of yourself."

"Thanks dad." I smiled again, and then walked off, knowing he was watching me as I headed for the gates, ready to get out of here and find my best friend.

**MPOV**

So it looked like I was staying at Hilltop for the next few months. That's what Dr Carson thought would be best. For the baby's sake, and my own. There was no real sure way of knowing whether or not something else might go wrong, so being close to him would hopefully risk anything really bad happening.

Walking out of the trailer, I thought about what I was going to do without the others. Carson had explained that I'd been asleep for a few days. I couldn't help but wonder about the rest of our people. I had no idea if they'd gotten home safely. I had no idea when Negan would be going to collect.

I was worried. About all of them, but mainly about Vickie. After everything she'd been through. Being next to Abraham. Kneeling in front of Glenn. Going in the RV with Negan. Watching Rick almost cut of Carl's arm. Then getting Daryl taken away from her... I could only imagine the hell she was going through right now. Actually, it was probably a lot like the hell I was going through...

Sasha had been sitting on the step outside. Once I was out of the trailer she got to her feet and turned to me, a slight smile on her lips.

"You, uh- You okay?"

Giving a nod as my only answer, I then asked, "Where is he?" Taking a deep breath, I added, "Where are they both?"

 

...

 

Sasha took me to the graves. They were by the wall, out of sight, away from the bustle of everyone else. It was a private place, nothing too special, with a shed nearby and some tall flowers growing around as well. Getting to my knees, I placed a hand on the grave Sasha had told me was Glenn. Some flowers had been placed on them. A stick stuck in the ground and some rocked placed above where their heads were.

My heart ached. I couldn't help but wonder if I would stay here at the Hilltop forever now, so I didn't have to leave Glenn behind. I didn't have a grave for all of the other loved ones I'd lost. Dad, Beth, mum, Sean, Patricia, Otis. They were all gone.

"It was in Glenn's pocket." Sasha handed over the watch dad had given Glenn. "All Abraham had was a cigar," she told me, with a light chuckle.

I took a deep breath, sniffling as I tried not to cry. Meeting her eyes, I could see she was struggling as well.

Looking down at Glenn's grave again, I pressed a kiss to the watch and laid it down on the grave's rocks. At that moment I decided. I would stay. As long as I could, I would stay.

"It feels like everything is wrong."

Turning to Sasha again, I shook my head. "Not everything."

She nodded lightly, seeming to understand. "He told me that you're gonna be all right," she noted, speaking about Dr Carson. "He said you'll just have to take it easy for the next few days."

"He told me that we have to stay. That we, um... he says it's better if he's close, just in case, till the baby's born."

She shrugged. "Then we'll stay."

"I'm still thinking about it."

But she wasn't having any of that. "You're staying. And so am I."

"It's nice to see you up."

Looking behind us, I stood as Jesus came over, carrying two bunches of green flowers. "Flowers. It was you."

Sasha got to her feet as well. "Ones on your bed, too."

"I read somewhere that blue flowers inspire strength and calming," Jesus told us as he placed each bunch on to the graves.

"What's green?" I asked, watching him.

His eyes met mine then. "Release."

Before I had a chance to respond, another voice spoke up, pulling my mood down almost instantly.

"Thank God you're finally awake." Gregory walked over to us, clearly unimpressed. "You people said you got them all."

I sighed. I knew this had been coming. "We thought we did. It was just an outpost," I explained.

Fear filled his eyes. "H-How many of them were there?"

"There were a lot. Maybe hundreds," I answered honestly. The number of people Negan had, was far too many than even my people could handle.

Getting back to business, Gregory spoke again, "Do they know the deal you made us take, Marsha?"

"It's Maggie," Jesus corrected.

Ignoring the name, I answered anyway, "No. And we didn't make you take the deal, Gregory," I reminded him, with a slightly less confident tone.

Obviously not happy with the current situation, Gregory shook his head. "I-I-I'm happy we could patch you up. You need to go," he told me before turning to leave. "Make sure you let Rich know what we did for you."

"Dr. Carson said I should stay," I called back to him.

He stopped, turning to us again. "If he thinks he has the authority to make that decision, he's mistaken." He looked at Sasha- who's face I couldn't see at the moment. "Don't look at me like that. She'll be safer with her own people. And we'll be safer without her. You need to keep your distance from Maggie and stay focused on your work here at Hilltop."

I could not believe this guy. How could he call himself a leader when he didn't even know Sasha wasn't one of his own people? How could he call himself a leader when he didn't even know who he was leading?

He gestured to the graves, seeming more upset now. "Did you do this?" he asked me. "We don't bury our dead. We burn them."

Sasha stepped up to stand next to me then. " _I_ did it," she told him. "I don't live here."

"Gregory, this is Sasha," Jesus explained- which was ridiculous because Gregory should already know that. "She got Maggie here. They're both from Alexandria."

Shaking his head, not caring, Gregory shrugged. "I can't- I-I don't have time to keep track of everybody. I've been recuperating, too, Jesus- From a stab wound. You know?" He was getting more and more worked up. "Maggie said that her people could take care of the Saviours. S-So far, all they've done is put our community at risk." He looked to Sasha and myself again. "You know, if they see you here, they'll think we colluded."

"We did," Sasha noted, not caring about his feelings or anything about him really.

"I did not agree to this." He pointed to the graves again. "If they think we helped attack their outpost, they'll do that to us. Jesus, do you have any idea what plausible deniability means?"

Jesus gave a short nod. "Yes."

"Well, then you know it's our way out. If they leave, we have plausible deniability."

"Gregory, it-" Jesus sighed, trying again. "It'll be night soon. It's not safe for them to leave now."

Scoffing, Gregory nodded. "Look, I'm a good guy," he told Sasha and myself- though I knew that was far from the truth. "You can stay the night. But leave in the morning."

"We'll talk more about it tonight," Jesus told him.

But Gregory wasn't listening. "No, I made my decision."

Jesus tried again, "I'm just saying that maybe-"

Gregory cut him off, "Do you want to go back with them?"

Both men fell silent at Gregory's words, but soon after, Jesus recovered and shrugged. "I'll take them back."

"I meant-"

It was Jesus' turn to cut Gregory off, "I know what you meant."

Having no response, Gregory turned to leave again. "So it's settled."

"No, it's not." Sasha stopped him this time. "Maggie is pregnant."

"Well that's her mistake." Gregory didn't care about anyone but himself.

His answer having upset Sasha, she went to go after his as he walked off.

I couldn't have that. Not when we still had to stay here. There was a chance we could change his mind, so long as we didn't upset anything else.

So I grabbed her arm, keeping her from going any further. "Wait."

She listened, stopping. Once Gregory was gone, both of us turned to Jesus. I knew he felt bad about the situation. I also knew he would do everything he could to make sure Sasha and I could stay. But for now, I was fine with the fact we at least had somewhere to stay tonight.

**RPOV**

I stood in Carl's room with Aaron and Michonne as we watched Carl throw darts- only to miss the board because of his missing aim.

"You should come with us," I told him.

A group of us were going out to go find supplies. Now that Vickie had gone, I felt the need to keep Carl close. I didn't like leaving him here without me. I didn't like not knowing if Negan and his people would show up while I was gone.

He sighed. "Someone's got to be here for Judith and Aly."

"There's people who want to help. We'll only be gone a few days at the most," I explained, willing to try everything and anything to get him to change his mind. "We need supplies. They're gonna be coming back soon."

"Is this how it's gonna be now?" he asked, upset about the situation, refusing to look at me.

"Yes," I sighed. "It is. You know that."

Shrugging, he threw another dart, missing the board again. "See you in a few days."

He wasn't going to change his mind. It was clear. There was no point in me trying. If anything, me trying so hard was probably keeping him from changing his mind.

Turning to the others, I started for the door. "We should get going."

Aaron nodded. "He'll come around," he tried to reassure me as we left the room. "I'll, uh, meet you downstairs."

Once he was gone, I turned to Michonne, the two of us stopping.

"You change your mind we're headed north." I handed her a walkie.

Knowing she was staying was both good and bad. I would have preferred it if she was with me as well. But having her stay with Carl, Judith and Aly at least helped ease the rest of my stress. Even if only slightly.

She took the walkie. "Good luck."

"Yeah." Nodding, I stepped closer to her. "I'll see you soon." Leaning in, I went to press a kiss to her cheek.

She stopped me, her eyes meeting mine before she turned her head and pressed her lips to mine.

I'd thought for sure, after everything, that we would be over. I didn't have much faith in things now. Not with all we'd lost and everything we were now facing. I had been one hundred percent sure, it would have driven us apart.

But it hadn't, and I was glad. I didn't think I could handle losing anyone else.

Pulling back, I rested my forehead on hers. "Thank you." With that, I walked away, knowing I wouldn't be able to go if I stayed with her a moment longer.

**VPOV**

With a bag on my back, two knives on my belt, and a bat in my hand, I was pretty sure I had everything I needed for my journey ahead.

I hadn't been completely honest with dad when I told him I was leaving to go see Maggie and Sasha. Yes, that was true, but it wasn't the only reason I was going. There was this voice in my head telling me that the reason why Negan and his people had known who we were and what we did, was because someone told them. The only person that could do that, was someone from the Hilltop. My money, was on Gregory.

So I was going to go find out if that was the fact.

There was another reason why I'd left and why I was going to go see Maggie and Sasha, but that didn't matter right now.

As I rounded a bend in the road- passing a cluster of trees that would have been one hell of a blind spot when it really mattered- I came to a stop.

"Oh, my God."

A few feet before me sat a beautiful red Dodge Challenger...

_The morning after Glenn found me I'd ventured out of my family's tent. Everyone was already up and about, getting the days jobs done. I saw dad standing with Glenn watching some of the men pulled the car apart- the one Glenn had picked me up in._

_"Thought I'd get to drive it a few more days," Glenn said to my dad, looking devastated at what they were doing._

_"Maybe we'll get to steal another one someday," dad told him, patting his back before walking off._

_I moved to stand by Glenn. "Mornin'." I smiled._

_He looked over at me, giving me a small smile. "Morning."_

_"It's not that bad." I nudged him. "I mean think of all the cars out there that you've wanted to drive but didn't have the money. You've got no problem now." I grinned._

_He let a small laugh out, nodding his agreement. "I guess you're right."_

_"You know I am." I chuckled._

It felt like Glenn was with me at that moment. As if he'd led me to this place and to this car. We'd never stolen or found another fast car like that. It hadn't really been practical to drive something that drank so much gas and couldn't fit a lot of supplies or people inside. But it was perfect for me today.

A smile crept on my lips as I moved towards the vehicle. Looking up at the sky, I shook my head, grinning. _This is for you, Glenn._

**CPOV**

I sat at the dining room table, watching Michonne as she gathered things and got ready for the day. I had a feeling she might be going somewhere- she always seemed to leave these days- but I wasn't too sure.

"Why didn't you go with my dad?" I asked her.

"I have to figure some things out," she answered, moving to the kitchen.

I followed her. "What is there to figure out?"

"How we can do this." She shrugged. "If we can."

There was no way we were going to survive if we had to live under Negan. I was just waiting for people to walk away, to leave knowing that even though life would be hard outside the walls of Alexandria, at least they didn't have to worry about being killed by Negan or the Saviours.

Even Vickie had left.

Yeah, I knew she'd be coming back, but I didn't believe that she was going to the Hilltop just to see Maggie and Sasha. Ever since meeting Negan she'd been distant. She'd been leaving every day, too. There was no way she was just going somewhere on her own to see some friends. No, I had a feeling there was more than that.

"We can't. No, not like this."

"Your dad thinks differently," Michonne told me, lifting her bag off the kitchen island bench.

"And he's wrong. You know it."

I watched her as she didn't say anything, as she moved towards the door. I thought for sure that she wasn't going to respond. I thought for sure she wasn't going to deny what I'd said. But just as she reached for the door handle, she stopped herself and turned to me.

"Even if I think he is I don't know." Turning the door handle then, she opened the door. "Change your bandage later, and be nice to Olivia," was all she said before she left.

Sighing, I shook my head. I couldn't believe my family. I couldn't believe they were all kneeling down to this asshole. Someone had to do something about it.

Looking away, I went to move back to the table, only to stop as I caught sight of something out the window...

Enid was climbing the wall and sneaking out again.

 

...

 

"Enid," I called, coming to a stop a few feet away from the wall.

Enid had only just started to climb it. Now she stopped as she turned to me. "I need to see Maggie."

"You're walking to the Hilltop?" _Unbelievable_. "It's far," I told her.

"I'll be fine," she insisted.

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Sighing, she got back to climbing. "I'll be fine. I have better aim than you." Realising what she'd said- having insulted my eye- she stopped herself. "I didn't mean it that way."

Not caring about what she said, I shook my head. "I'm not saving you anymore."

"That's what happened in the armoury? You saved me?"

"Yeah." I nodded, because it was true.

"You made it back in one piece." She didn't seem to realise what I'd saved her from... "You're still here."

"I'm not talking about that."

Finally catching on, she looked down at me again. "I'm sorry you had to see it."

"I'm not."

**MPOV**

I stepped up to the trailer Jesus told me to come to. Lifting my fist, I gave a light knock on the door, hoping he was already inside with Sasha. I really didn't want to have to go looking for them and rick bumping into Gregory.

"Come in." I was relieved to hear Jesus call. Once I stepped inside he stood from the chair he'd been sitting on and turned to me. "I made the bed for you and laid out some clothes." He gestured to the only bed in the trailer. "They're mine, so they're more utility than comfort."

I looked over at Sasha, seeing that she'd already set up the sofa as a bed for herself.

Nodding, I looked to Jesus again. "It's okay. We won't be here much longer."

He sighed, "I'm sorry, about all of it. I'm gonna see what I can do."

"Mm." I moved closer to the bed, looking down at it as I hesitated before speaking again. "Why do you burn your dead?"

Surprised by the question, Jesus took a moment to answer. "Um... The idea was just to keep going."

"What do you have to remember 'em by?" I asked.

"Us." He shrugged. "I'll see you in the morning." Moving to the door, he left, closing it behind him.

Once he was gone, and we were alone I sat on the bed, while Sasha sat on one of the chair at the small table in the small trailer- the place was pretty cramped, yet still comfortable.

"Now what?" I sighed.

Sasha chuckled lightly. "Maybe we stay. What can Gregory do?"

"He's in charge," I noted.

"He's an idiot," she argued.

I shook my head. "He's a coward. They're more dangerous. We have the night. Let's think on it. Things will be clearer in the mornin'."

**CPOV**

So... I'd decided to follow Enid anyway. I knew she probably wouldn't be happy with that, but I couldn't leave her. I also didn't want to be stuck back home. The only reason why I hadn't gone with the others was because I didn't want to go and do something for Negan. Besides, I had a feeling the Saviours would eventually go to the Hilltop, and when they did, I would be there to take Negan down.

I was a distance away from Enid so she wouldn't spot me. That gave me the opportunity to keep an eye out for walkers that might sneak up on her, and sure enough, one was right now.

Moving to a nearby car I was glad that it worked and the keys were in it. Turning on the ignition I acted quickly, driving ahead and slamming straight into the walker, crashing into a post.

I'd rolled over the walker, and hadn't killed it, so I waited as it slowly got to its feet. The moment it stood, I put the car into reverse and hit the accelerator, backing up into the walker and jamming it between another post and the car.

Enid walked up to the window as I wound it down. "What are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "Felt like a drive."

**MPOV**

I'd been asleep when a high-pitched screech- like feedback from a speaker- woke me up. Getting out of bed quickly, as Sasha did the same, we moved to the door to look out the small window in the door in order to see what was going on.

"What is that?"

"The gates are open," Sasha told me, having a better view. "There's fires. The music is coming from a car."

We tried opening the door, but it wouldn't budge. Sasha moved to the window- with me close behind- and tried to open that as well, but it wouldn't budge either.

This was bad. If we couldn't get out walkers were going to fill up the place. Gregory had said it himself. There were no fighters here. Maybe a hand full or so, but the two most experienced people the Hilltop had right now were Sasha and myself, and we were locked in our trailer.

"I have to turn that thing off." Sasha shook her head.

I moved to the table, seeing a way out through the roof. Putting a chair on the table, I moved to climb up, needing to get out just as much as she did.

But she stopped me before I could move. "Dr. Carson told you to stay off your feet."

"I can't let you do this by yourself," I argued.

She wasn't going to listen though. "Sit," she ordered, gesturing to one of the chair I hadn't put on the table.

Not doing as I was told, but also not arguing, I nodded. "Go."

She climbed up and pulled herself through the hole. I waited a moment until I heard her climb off the roof, before I climbed up and pulled myself out as well.

The music was loud, the fires were big and bright. Walkers were already filing it. This was bad. Very, very bad.

Looking over to the Barrington house I could see some people had gathered on the balcony as they looked down, unsure of what to do. Among the faces was a familiar one.

"Jesus!" I called, getting his attention. "Sasha's alone down there! She needs help!"

With a simple nod from him, he climbed down from the balcony and got to work, moving to help Sasha.

I looked to two other faces I knew, remembering that they'd been the two men guarding the gate the first time I'd come here. "You two! Get those gates closed!" I ordered.

"On it!" One nodded before the two climbed down as well, getting to work.

I looked down, taking in the situation and our options. That's when my eyes landed on a tractor...

**VPOV**

I came to a screeching halt as I got to the gates of the Hilltop. Gates which were wide open and filling with walkers. This was bad... very bad.

Having no time to waste I drove forward, running into walkers as I drove through the open gate. I stopped the car again, grabbing my two knives out of my belt as I pulled myself out of the car and got ready to fight.

The walkers moved towards me, attracted to the vehicle. I acted fast, having a knife in each hand as I moved through the gathering crowd, taking down walker after walker. When there was finally a moment for me to take in my surroundings, I caught sight of Sasha and Jesus by a car where music was blaring from.

"Shit." Killing another walker that was too close, I didn't even wait for the body to drop before I moved to the two people. "Sasha!"

She spun around. "Vickie? What the hell are you doing here?"

Reaching them, I shrugged. "Talk about it later. We've got other things to deal with at the moment."

Jesus nodded. "She's right. We need to close the gates."

Another sound distracted us then. Looking over, we watched as a tractor came into view from around the large building. I couldn't believe my eyes, seeing Maggie in the driver's seat.

"You have got to be kidding me," I sighed.

Both Sasha and I moved towards the tractor, only to have Jesus stop us. "She's got it. I need your help here." He gestured to the walkers and rushed off.

Knowing he was right, I only looked back at the tractor once before I followed him, moving closer to the gathering herd of walkers.

Sasha, Jesus and myself worked quickly and carefully, taking down the walkers. Two men rushed past us and towards the gate in order to close it, while Maggie drove the tractor over the car until the music cut off. We all kept moving until there was nothing left to do. People had come out to help with the gate. Maggie had come out to help with the walkers.

I'd been pleasantly surprised to see how many people had actually fought for their home. I hadn't been surprised to see Gregory had not come out to fight. He was a coward. He was weak. He was the reason this place was under Negan's rule. It was his fault his people had been in danger tonight.

I could not wait to see how pissed off he was going to be once he'd find out I was here. I found angering him to be quite amusing, and I could use a laugh right about now.

**  
**

**Chapter 10**

**One Big, Happy, Dysfunctional Family**

**VPOV**

Once everyone had gone back to their homes, Maggie, Sasha, Jesus and I had moved to a trailer where my two friends had apparently been staying. The moment the door closed behind us and we were inside, I felt two arms wrap around me in a tight hug as Maggie held me to her chest.

"I'm so glad you're here," she whispered in my ear.

_I knelt on the ground, outside of Terminus, just having saved all our people with Carol. We'd found them in the forest, reunited after being away from each other for so long._

_Arms wrapped around me as Maggie pulled me into a hug, not giving me a chance to stand up. Her laughter filled my ears as she felled me, tears of joy falling from both hers and my eyes._

_Another pair of arms wrapped around us as Glenn hugged me too, smiling widely at me._

_I had my friends back. My two best friends._

I smiled lightly, wrapping my own arms around her. "I couldn't wait any longer. I had to come see you." Pulling back I looked to Sasha. "I had to know you were all okay."

Sasha gave me a small smile back. "We are. As much as we can be."

"How about everyone else?" Maggie asked, a tone of urgency in her voice. She needed to know just as badly as I had.

My heart sunk a little... "Negan came yesterday."

"What?" Sasha stepped forward, shocked. "He said a week."

I nodded. "Yeah, well... he came early."

"Did he... is everyone..." Maggie couldn't even manage a sentence.

Sasha finished Maggie's sentences for her, "Did he do anything? Is everyone okay?"

Sighing, I walked away from my friends and to the other side of the trailer, suddenly needing space. "Uh... he was gonna kill Olivia. The Saviours took all our guns, and found three missing. They were gonna kill Olivia, but dad found the guns," I sighed. "Spencer had stolen two... I'd taken the other." Looking down at the ground, I went on. "They took a lot of stuff. All the mattresses, a lot of furniture..."

"How much food?" Sasha asked.

I shook my head. "None."

"None?" Sasha was surprised.

"Apparently Negan told dad there wouldn't be enough for us to survive and work for him, so he didn't take any." I shrugged.

"So... he didn't hurt anyone." Sasha let out a relieved breath.

I looked up at them now, my eyes meeting Maggie's, who instantly knew there was more. "He did hurt someone, didn't he?"

"Daryl."

Jesus, who had been silent up until now, looked at me with pity. "That's your husband, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah." My voice shook as I spoke. "Negan brought Daryl with them. He was a mess." My eyes began to well up. "Bruised and hurt from a fight or beatings or something. He looked sick, like they haven't been feeding him properly." I shook my head.

Maggie moved forward, pulling me into her arms again. "I'm so sorry."

I cried against her, "It was horrible."

A hand rubbed my back as Sasha stood with us. "We'll get him back. I promise."

I looked up then, my eyes catching Jesus' as he watched us. I knew I could never tell Maggie and Sasha what I was planning on doing. I couldn't have told my dad or anyone else back home either. If they found out, they'd try to stop me, and I couldn't have that. But I knew I could tell Jesus. He'd proved to me before that I could trust him. He wouldn't tell anyone anything, and if he did he knew I would kill him- because he wasn't a friend yet and I would kill him to save my own ass in order to save my loved ones.

Pulling away from my friends, I wiped at my tears. "Sorry, I've dumped all of this on you guys. You're all dealing with a lot, and the last thing you need is my stress."

Maggie shook her head, stroking my hair gently. "Don't be ridiculous. We're family. This is what we're here for."

"She right." Sasha nodded. "No matter what, we're still family."

I nodded, feeling a little better. "I really missed you guys."

"We missed you, too." Maggie smiled lightly. "And we're really glad you're here with us. I know I'll sleep better knowing you're okay."

"Speaking of which," Jesus spoke up. "I should leave you three to get some rest. I'm sure you're all exhausted." He gave a short nod. "Thank you for everything you did for us tonight." His eyes landed on me. "It's nice to see you again." He gave a light smile before he turned to the door and left.

Once he was gone, Sasha moved to the couch as Maggie and I moved to the small bed in the trailer. We all got comfortable, but sleep didn't come so easily, as we found ourselves talking for hours. Sasha told me about what she'd been doing while Maggie recovered. Maggie told me about everything that was going on with her baby. While I told them about home and the rest of our family.

By the time we actually managed to close our eyes, I was sure the sun would rise at any moment.

**CPOV**

Enid and I had walked through the night. It was a long dive to Hilltop, but seeing as I'd wrecked the only working car we'd found, we had to walk which was going to make the journey so much longer.

"Not sorry you saw it?" Enid asked as we walked on separate sides of the road.

"Yeah," I answered. "I watched it. Both times. I didn't look away."

"Why?"

"Because, when it was happening, I knew that I needed to remember it. So when I had the chance to kill him, I wouldn't have a choice."

"I think I'd kill him, too." Her words surprised me. I was pretty sure she'd never killed a person before. "It's messed up, but that's how it is. You do things for the ones you love." Pausing, she took a moment before correcting herself. "Loved."

I shook my head. "It's not for them." Sighing, I changed the subject, "I'm sorry I locked you in the armoury."

"I didn't need to see it. "

I hadn't known what was going to happen that day, but I knew that no matter what, something was going to go wrong. I knew something bad was going to happen. That's why I'd locked Enid in the closet. I didn't want her to have to go through that. I didn't want her to have to see anything, or do anything. Stuff like that changed people, and I didn't want her to change.

"We don't even know if she's okay."

I looked over, seeing how worried she was. "We'll get there."

**VPOV**

Jesus was currently in Gregory's office, trying to convince his leader to let Maggie and Sasha stay. I'd already reassured him that there was no need to add me to the list, as I would be leaving today. What I hadn't said was that I wasn't going back home. No, I was going somewhere else. But that didn't matter right now.

Before I'd left Alexandria, I had packed a few things for Maggie and Sasha just in case. Clothes had been included. They'd been here for a few days now, and I knew they'd probably want a change of clothes that came from home. Which had saved them from having to where some of Jesus' clothes as well.

I'd brought some more stuff as well. Small things. One of Glenn's and one of Abraham's shirts. Some photos Aly had taken and collected of people back home. A couple of torches and knives just in case.

I needed to know that they were going to be okay. I needed to know that had everything they might need before I left.

"Do you really think bringing that thing is going to go down well?" Sasha asked, gesturing to my bat.

"No. I think it's going to make Gregory sweat," I answered honestly.

Sasha looked at the weapon, repulsed. "Why do you even still have it?"

"Negan said I have to keep it," I answered, hating the fact as much as the rest of my friends and family did. Going on, I changed the subject. "So does Gregory even know I'm here?" I asked Maggie and Sasha as we moved towards the Barrington house.

"I'm sure if Gregory knew you were here he would have made an appearance by now," Maggie noted, a slight grin playing on her lips.

Sasha looked to her confused. "Is there something I should know?"

Maggie's grin grew as she nodded. "Last time we were here... let's just say he likes her less than he likes me."

Sasha looked to me with a sigh. She'd been hoping I might be able to help change the guy's mind about them staying. But I was pretty sure me being here was just going to make things worse.

"I don't deal well with douche bags," was all I had to say before we entered the building.

Walking up to the closed office doors, Sasha called out. "Gregory?" She didn't even wait before pushing the doors open.

Gregory sat at his desk, a fake polite smile on his lips... until his eyes landed on me. "What is she doing here?"

Rolling my eyes, I leaned against the wall by the door. "Relax. I just wanted to make sure Maggie and Sasha were okay. I'm not staying." I pressed the end of my bat to the hardwood floor. "Trust me, the less time I spend with you, the better for everyone."

Gregory's eyes watched my bat, slight fear in his eyes. "What are you doing with that thing?"

"It's a gift. From my new admirer," I answered, lifting the bat in the air, letting the light coming in from the windows catch on the metal.

The bat technically wasn't a gift. I'd found it before meeting any Saviour. I'd actually found it the day I met Jesus- though if he remembered that, he didn't show it. Saying it was a gift, was just another way I could mess with Gregory, because messing with him was always fun and always seemed to get me what I wanted.

"An admirer?" Gregory asked, both intrigued and confused.

My eyes met Gregory's then. "Negan."

He was caught off guard then. Jesus as well. Both men looked at me with a mixture of fear, confusion, worry and pity.

Maggie and Sasha knew how Negan was around me. They'd seen it with their own eyes, and I'd told them the rest- though not about my deal I'd made with him that kept Carl safe. So my words didn't get a reaction from them.

Looking away from me now, Gregory turned to Sasha and Maggie. "Ah, uh... I was just telling Ms Caitlin to bring up some of her famous rhubarb preserves for you both. It's our way of saying thank you for helping out last night." he was completely ignoring me now.

Jesus turned to him. "It's Ms Maitlin."

Ignoring Jesus as well, Gregory nodded to Sasha and Maggie. "You can take them with you when you go. And you should go now, because the Saviours could get back any minute."

Sasha Maggie and I shared a look. We all knew Maggie couldn't go. If we wanted the baby to live- and we did- then she had to stay.

"I'll go." Sasha offered.

Maggie shook her head. "Sasha."

Not listening to Maggie, Sasha went on, "But let her stay. We'll call it even on last night."

"No deal." Gregory didn't even blink. "But it's been lovely having you here."

Sasha shook her head, stepping closer to the desk. "Just tell me how we can make this work."

Gregory's eyes roamed Sasha's body. "I think we'd need to meet on that one-on-one just to explore-"

Maggie cut him off, knowing what he was going on about- he'd tried it on us. "Go to hell."

Gregory looked to Maggie and I as if we were the ones in the wrong. "Are you actually implying-" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "No. You know what? I'm sorry. I'm gonna tell Ms Caitlin to keep her preserves."

I shook my head. "Can I kill this asshole already?"

"Victoria," Jesus warned.

Before anyone else could say anything or do anything the sound of trucks approaching and people shouting had as all move to one of the windows that faced the community and the gates. Trucks were driving into the community, people jumping out and headed towards the Barrington house. The leader of the crowd... I recognised that face in an instant. It was Simon. Negan's right-hand man.

"Shit," I sighed, shaking my head. _What are we going to do now?_

Gregory turned to us. "You know what they'll do if they find you here? Jesus, get them in the closet."

Maggie went to argue as he ushered us out of the room. "Gregory-"

But he didn't let her go on. He just kept shoving. "Go get in there now. And you don't move, you don't speak, and maybe you'll get out of this alive."

Having no other choice, we did as he said, walking out of the room as we followed Jesus.

I came to a halt as I saw the hallway closet. "We're not going in there."

Sasha turned to me. "If we don't hide, the Saviours will know we're working with the Hilltop."

Nodding I gestured to the stairs. "Which is why we can't hide somewhere they might look."

Jesus frowned for a moment as he took in my words, before coming to understand me. "I think I know where you can hide." He nodded before changing his course and taking us up the stairs.

**CPOV**

Enid and I came to a clearing. After hours of walking and rolling- we'd found some roller-skates on the way- we'd finally made it to the Hilltop. But as we stepped up to the tree line, we found we were the only visitors the community had.

Saviours.

Looking at all the trucks parked out the gates, I sighed, "I don't think Negan's here. I don't see that black truck."

"You weren't taking a drive. You weren't coming to get me."

I turned to Enid, shaking my head. "I can't let them get away with this. You know I can't."

"I know," she sighed.

"Come with me." I turned my whole body towards her then. "You want to kill them, too. We can do it."

"Uh-" She thought about it before shaking her head. "You said it. It'd be for us. Not for Abraham, not for Glenn. Not for Maggie. You're doing it for you."

"Yeah." I didn't' see any point in lying.

She stepped closer to me. "So if it all goes right and you do it how do you get away?"

I shook my head. "It wouldn't matter." I'd thought about it before, and I'd decided that as long as Negan was gone, nothing else mattered.

"It would to me." She stepped even closer, leaving mere inches between us as she looked up at me.

Leaning forward, I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. As I pulled back, we both hesitated, looking at each other, before we met half way, pressing our lips together.

It was my first kiss, and nothing like I thought it would be like. It wasn't how they descried it in books or movies. But it wasn't just two set of lips pressing together either. It felt... right. It made me feel stronger, more confident. It gave me a purpose.

It gave my mission a purpose. If I failed, Enid was in danger, and I couldn't have that. I'd do anything for her and everyone I cared about.

Pulling back, she looked up at me. "Please don't go. Just come with me. You can't make it-"

I cut her off. "I'm just gonna go home."

But she saw straight through me. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not," I argued.

She gave a lit chuckle. "You shouldn't go. But I can't stop you." Having nothing else to say, she started forward, moving towards the Hilltop.

"They'll see you."

"No." She shook her head, still walking. "They won't." Then she was gone, and I had no idea if I would ever see her again...

**MPOV**

Crammed in the wardrobe with Sasha and Vickie, we listened as the sound of footsteps moved closer and closer to the door. Vickie looked to us, the only one with weapons, as she pulled out her knives, handed us one each, and changed the grip on her bat.

I looked down at the knife in my hand with a frown. I didn't recognise it. The one she gave Sasha was the one Daryl had given her before we'd met. But this one?

Shaking my head, I focused, hearing the footsteps come to a stop right outside the door. There were more important things to think about right now. Like the fact there could be a Saviour right outside this closet...

Adjusting my hold on the knife, the three of us got ready just in case we had to fight our way out of this.

"It's me." I let out a sigh of relief at the sound of Jesus' voice. Slowly he opened the door, letting us out as Sasha and I handed the knives back to Vickie. "They're filling up the trucks," he explained. "They'll be gone soon."

Before any of us could say anything, the bedroom door opened as Gregory stormed into the room, looking furious. "I told you to hide them in the hallway closet!"

"No, you said 'closet'," Jesus corrected.

Gregory shook his head, his anger increasing. "This is my bedroom. What if they came in here before I-"

Sasha cut him off, "Before you tried to give us up?"

"They would've killed you first," I noted.

Vickie shrugged as she put her knives away. "Or I would have."

Gregory ignored Vickie, looking to me. "Honey, I'm talking to Jesus."

Jesus glared at his leader. "Stop."

"Why are you even defending her?" Gregory shook his head, getting more and more worked up. "We're here right now because she and Vivien and Rich didn't handle things like they said they would."

"The name is Victoria, asshole. And my father is Rick, not Rich." Vickie rolled her eyes. She didn't even get angry with the man anymore, he just seemed to annoy her.

Jesus turned to his leader. "The Saviours tried to kill you," he reminded Gregory.

But Gregory didn't seem to see it that way. "That was a misunderstanding. And as soon as the Saviours leave, we get them the hell out of here before something bad really happens," he said before turning to leave.

"Stop!" Jesus called him back. "They're staying. Or do you want to make it public?" he threatened. "You want to make the deal with Alexandria public? Lose your plausible deniability? Lose your position?"

Gregory scoffed, "So you're gonna be in charge now?"

"No." Jesus shrugged. "It's just that you won't be. Maggie and Sasha are staying. Vickie too, if she wants. I'm staying. We're all gonna be one big, happy, dysfunctional family."

Looking from Jesus, to Sasha, Vickie and myself, Gregory gave a bitter chuckle, "So we will be. And I'll see us through this. I made progress with them today. You saw it."

Jesus shook his head. "That's not what I saw."

"Yeah? Well, it's what happened," Gregory insisted as he moved to stand in front of me. "We play nice, they play nice. See, dear? Saviours can actually be quite reasonable."

Not caring what he had to say, I only had one thing on my mind.

Lifting my fist and pulling it back, I gave him one hard punch to the face. He groaned as he stumbled back a step, lifting his hand to his cheek where I'd hit him as he turned to face me again.

Before he could say anything, I reached for his pocket, pulling a chain out of it as Glenn's watch came out of the pocket and into my hand.

Gregory watch, looking down at the watch. "It's a fine watch. Doesn't need to be left out in the rain."

"This is our home now," I told him, having nothing to say about the watch. "So you'll learn to start to call me by my name. Not Marsha, not 'dear', not 'honey'. Maggie. Maggie Rhee."

**VPOV**

Jesus, Maggie, Sasha and myself stood by a window, looking out at the gates as we watched the Saviours start to leave. They'd gone through the place and taken everything they wanted just like they had at Alexandria.

"When I got here, Gregory was already in charge. Thought the people chose him for a reason," Jesus explained. "Looking at it now, I think it just happened. I didn't like how he did things. But I couldn't imagine anyone else in his place. I can now."

"Who?" Maggie asked as she kept her eyes focused on the people outside.

Jesus didn't answer right away, and I turned to see him looking at Maggie. "We'll talk about it sometime. I should've talked to Gregory sooner. I'm sorry. Hopefully, you'll let me make it up to you."

A small smile played on my lips, understanding what he was saying and what he could see for the Hilltop.

Maggie finally turned to him, giving a gentle nod. "We will." Looking out the window once more she started to move back. "The gates are closed," she noted, about to leave.

Jesus stopped her. "Wait, they're still loading up outside."

But she simply turned to Sasha and myself. "I'll see you back at the trailer."

I wanted to pull her in for another hug, because I knew chances were, I wasn't going to see her again after this. If I wanted to go through with my plan, I had to act fast. But if I hugged her, she would know something was up, and then she would stop me.

So I simply watched as she walked out of the room.

Once Maggie was gone, Sasha spoke up, "If you want to make it up to us can you find where Negan lives?"

Jesus looked surprised for a moment, but still nodded. "One of the trucks is going back there, so yeah, I can do that."

"Can you keep it between us? Just you, me and Vickie?" The fact Sasha wanted to keep this from Maggie even had me feeling a little guilty, but then I remembered my own secrets, so I didn't bother arguing.

"No Maggie?" Jesus sighed. "I don't like that."

Sasha nodded, looking out the window again. "Me neither. But we have to keep her safe," she noted before turning. "I'm going to go see Abraham before I head back to the trailer." She looked to me. "You want to come?"

"I'll be there in a minute." I gave her a small smile. "Gotta talk to Jesus." Nodding, Sasha simply gave me a gentle smile back before she walked out, leaving Jesus and I alone in the room. When I was sure she was gone, I turned to the man. "You've got questions, right?"

"What are you really doing here? Because I have a feeling there's more to it than you just wanting to see Maggie and Sasha."

I gave a short nod. "I wanted to talk to you as well. Ask you a few questions myself."

"What questions?"

"Did Gregory tell the Saviours it was us who killed Negan's people?" I asked without skipping a beat.

Jesus shook his head. "Not that I know of. But if he had, I'm sure things would have gone a lot differently when your friends arrived here."

"Good point." I shrugged. "Next question. Do you really not know where Negan lives?"

Frowning, Jesus shook his head. "Why do you want to know where he lives?"

Refusing to look at him, I thought about telling him the truth. I felt if I could tell anyone, it would be him. We weren't close enough for me to listen to his protests if he decided to change my mind. But at the same time, I didn't feel like speaking the words out loud. If I did, then it would all be too real.

So I lied. "I want to know where he lives so I know where to kill him. This guy is a creep and a monster. He needs to be put down."

Okay, yes, I meant what I was saying. I wanted Negan dead. He killed Glenn and Abe. He was going down. But... I wasn't stupid. You can't just kill a guy like Negan. He's a survivor... just like me.

I could feel his eyes watching me carefully. "You weren't lying about him admiring you, were you?"

"Nope." I shook my head, standing up straighter as I turned to face him completely.

Searching my eyes, Jesus took a moment before he spoke again, "There's nothing I can say to stop you, is there?"

"Nope."

Sighing, he nodded. "You don't want me to tell anyone what you're doing, do you?"

"Nope."

He sighed then. "You want my help... don't you?"

"Yep." I gave a short nod. "I can't do this on my own, Jesus. Besides, you're already heading that way," I noted with a smile on my lips, hoping I could charm him into doing this.

Shaking his head, he looked up at the roof as if he were asking for help from above. "Fine," he finally spoke. "I'll help you."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, Victoria. Because chances are, neither of us are coming back from this," he noted as he turned away and left the room.

Once he was gone, I looked out the window again as my smile fell slightly. He was probably right, I realised. But still... There was no stopping me now...

**MPOV**

I moved around towards the graves, wanting to see Glenn. But as the graves came into view, I came to a stop, seeing Enid sitting on the dirt, looking at Abraham's grave, where three green balloons had been tied to the stick sticking out of the ground by the grave. She'd meant them for Glenn, but I couldn't tell her she'd put them on the wrong grave. I couldn't do that to her when she looked that sad.

Enid... she was like a sister to me in away. She was more than a friend at least. After losing so much, and so many loved ones, it was nice to have someone like her. Vickie ad I were close- closer than we were with most people. But I liked having someone I could be a big sister too.

Having her here, it was exactly what I needed.

"You're here," I spoke, catching her attention.

She looked to me, getting to her feet as we met each other half way. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not," I told her honestly. "But I will be."

 

...

 

I sat at the table in the trailer as Enid laid out a plate of sliced bread in the middle of the table. We were just about to have dinner- which she'd cooked.

As she sat down, she spoke, "People told me you killed walkers and a car with a tractor?"

"I couldn't sit by and watch. Not again." I shrugged. "So I guess I sat and did something."

"You're supposed to take it easy," she noted.

"It wasn't hard. It wasn't the first time." When she looked at e confused, I went on. "There was this boy in high school."

"You ran over the boy?" she asked, shocked.

I shook my head, with a slight grin on my lips. "His car."

"Oh."

I chuckled. "It was a Camaro. And then it wasn't."

We both laughed then, as the door opened and Sasha walked in.

"Enid."

Enid smiled up at her. "Hi. I- I came to help."

"You came by yourself?" Sasha asked, surprised.

It took a moment, but Enid eventually nodded. "Yeah." She turned to the table. "Have some dinner."

Moving to join us at the table, Sasha looked to me. "Where's Vickie?"

"Vickie's here?' Enid asked, surprised.

I nodded to her. "She came last night," I explained before turning to Sasha. "I haven't seen her since I left the two of you and Jesus. But I'm sure she'll be here soon." I'd set out a plate for her as well, in the hopes she'd come for dinner.

"She will be." Sasha nodded, taking a seat. "Why are there balloons on Abraham's grave?"

When Enid looked embarrassed, I shrugged at her. "I didn't have the heart to tell you. Glenn would've. He was a bad liar."

She simply turned to Sasha. "Sorry."

But Sasha shook her head. "There's no need to be sorry. Nothing wrong with balloons."

"There's nothing marking the graves," Enid noted.

"Nope." I pulled Glenn's watch out of my pocket. "I was gonna use this for Glenn's. It was my dad's. He gave it to him. But I'm giving it to you." I handed it over to Enid. "We don't need anything to remember him by. We have us," was all I said before I reached for their hands and began to pray. "For this new morning, with its light. For rest and shelter of the night. For health and food. For love and friends. For everything that goodness sends. Amen."

"Amen."

**VPOV**

Jesus and I moved quickly. Once the trucks were rolling, and no one was watching, the two of us rushed over to the last truck. Jesus had spotted the Saviours putting a box in it that was apparently going to Negan personally.

Moving the plastic flaps away from the trucks back opening, Jesus climbed up and turned, offering me his hand before pulling me up to join him.

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." He shrugged as he turned to the box he'd recognised, and pulled out a bottle of scotch. "Want some?"

I shook my head. "I'm good."

"Fair enough." He nodded before taking a drink from the bottle and then reaching his arm out of the truck before he poured the liquid on to the road.

Grinning, I watched as he smiled mischievously at me. I could just see doing that to the rest of the bottles. But before I could ask if that was the case, a voice had us both turn to look further into the truck.

"Hey."

I frowned as a head popped up from behind more boxes. "Carl?"

**  
**

**Chapter 11**

**Two Peas in a Pod**

**VPOV**

Carl and I watched each other the whole time we were riding in the back of the truck with Jesus. After my brother had announced his presence, and I'd gotten over my shock, neither of us had questioned each other. We both knew the answers to the questions we wanted to ask, but didn't want Jesus to hear.

So, I would wait. I would wait until I could finally pull my brother away, and give him a firm and stern talking to. About the dangers of jumping into strange vehicles, that are being delivered to a serial killer, who wouldn't think twice about killing either one of us, or one of our family members.

Yes, I know. I'm doing the exact same thing. But the reasons why I was in this truck, heading for Negan were probably a lot less violent than what my brother had in mind... I mean, I'm pretty sure he's not going to offer our new 'friends' some cookies and a smile.

Jesus was currently cutting along the bottoms of some boxes with breakables inside. I watched him, knowing the moment someone would lift the damaged boxes, the contents inside would fall out and break. I guess if the Hilltop can't have their stuff, no one can. At least, that's what Jesus' actions were telling me. Moving over to another box, Jesus grabbed a bottle of what appeared to be syrup or something, before he moved to stand at the edge of the truck's opening and began to squeeze some of the liquid out on to the road.

When he turned to Carl and I, seeing our questioning looks, he shrugged. "Making a trail. I think we're close," he noted.

I moved closer to him, looking out as the truck veered around some broken down cars on the road.

"We should bail out," Jesus said, coming to stand by me. "Follow the rest of the way, see what we can see."

"I, uh..." Carl sounded unsure behind us. "How?" he asked.

"It isn't usually the fall that gets us," Jesus explained. "It's trying to fight it. Run with it or roll with it. The truck's going slow enough. We'll be in the blind spot. We can race behind one of the other cars."

"I-I-If..." Carl stuttered, clearly uncomfortable with this plan. "If I screw up and we get caught-"

I cut him off, "Carl, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."

Jesus nodded at my words. "Listen to your sister. It'll be fine. We just got to go now."

Carl's eyes stayed locked on mine as he spoke. "Okay. Show me first," he told Jesus.

I could see it. He knew I wasn't going anywhere, just like I knew he wasn't either. Now was our chance to get rid of Jesus- for his sake, not ours.

Jesus looked from Carl to me.

I nodded to him. "I won't go until he does. I'll make sure he's okay."

"Alright. Just... don't take too long," he said before looking out the truck again, and jumping off.

Carl moved to stand where Jesus had been. Both of us held back the plastic flaps that covered the opening as we watched the man roll along the road and quickly duck behind one of the broken-down vehicles. The moment his head popped up as he looked to us expectantly, Carl and I lifted a hand each and gave Jesus a simple wave before stepping back into the truck and letting the flaps drop.

Now that we were alone, I wasn't holding back. "What the hell are you doing here, Carl?" I glared at my little brother.

He shrugged. "What are you doing here?"

"That's none of your business," I snapped.

With my answer, he simply shrugged again. "If you don't tell, I don't tell," was all he had to say before he moved further into the truck.

I followed him. "You will tell me, damnit. Or so help me God, I will push you out of this truck right now."

Coming to a stop, he let out a frustrated sigh before finally giving me an answer. "I'll gonna kill Negan."

A million things went through my mind at my brother's words.

Yes, I wanted Negan dead. No, I didn't want Carl to kill him.

How are we supposed to get out of this? How am I supposed to get Daryl out of this? Did I really want Negan to die? The thought of keeping him alive and torturing him sounded a lot better. What was dad going to think when he found out? Were we ever going to see dad again? Would we get out of this alive? Would Negan actually die today?

"So, why are you here?" Carl asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

He'd told me the truth. I knew he had. I'd always been pretty good with telling if Carl was lying or not. Mum and dad had usually asked me whether or not Carl had lied to them. It's just something that close from having suck a close relationship with someone. Carl and I, we'd always been close... Which is why lying to him hurt more than I'd like it too.

"I need to see Daryl," I told him- which wasn't too much of a lie.

He nodded, seeming to understand and believe me. "We'll get him back, Vickie." Stepping closer to me, he rested a hand on my shoulder. "I promise."

As I watched my brother move to a box of guns, I felt the need to fall to the ground. For the last few days I'd been fighting a numbness taking over me. I'd been fighting the will to just give up.

Seeing Carl look at me with that kind of determination... it scared me. It made me believe that maybe I'd lost the little brother I'd grown up with...

 

...

 

"Stay behind me," Carl whispered as we hid behind a bunch of boxes. He was in front, looking over another box, aiming the gun at the opening of the truck as he waited.

I watched him watching the front, feeling the truck slow as it turned a corner before coming to a complete stop. I couldn't see outside the truck. I couldn't see much of anything from where I was really.

It did occur to me that I should be ahead of Carl, that _I_ should be protecting _him_... But I knew there was no way that was happening. Carl hadn't really understood the way I was reacting to Glenn and Abraham's death. He'd been watching me, checking up on me every now and then since it all happened. I guess he was just waiting for me to shut down like I usually did.

Which is probably why he was suddenly so protective. Which is also how I knew there was no point in trying to argue with him.

There was movement outside as people started to move towards the back of the truck. I could hear footsteps and the murmur of incoherent chatter. When someone finally spoke clear enough that we could hear them, I froze.

"Okay, boys, let's get this haul unloaded and inside. I want to get back in there and unload a little myself."

Negan.

_Looks like Carl was going to get his chance right here and right now._

"Negan, need to talk to you about redirect." I listened as someone spoke to Negan.

"What about the redirect?" the leader asked, sounding annoyed.

"It got screwed up," the other person answered before going on quickly. "We're on it now, but it's a mess out there."

"And whose job was that?" Negan was clearly not happy.

I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation as another voice- closer to the truck- spoke up at that moment.

"Aw, damn. I thought they packed this up tight," the man sighed as he stepped into the back of the truck. I felt the weight shift and saw Carl adjust the hold on the gun he held.

"Ah, no worries. Plenty more where this came from," Negan called to the man in the truck.

The guy in the truck chuckled lightly. "Right?"

A few other laughs could be heard after that. I tried to count how many different laughs I could hear, but it appeared to be impossible. All I knew was there were too many for Carl and I to fight through and win...

The sound of glass shattering had me jump slightly. I realised then the guy in the truck must have picked up one of the boxes Jesus tampered with. A smirk played on my lips, but I shook it off before it could take form.

"Son of a bitch!" someone exclaimed- probably the guy who'd grabbed the now broken box.

Everyone else continued to laugh outside the truck. But I knew in an instant we'd been caught, because at that moment, Carl gripped the gun a little tighter as he glared at something- or _someone_ \- in front of him.

"What the hell?" the same guy spoke.

But that was all he got out before Carl shot the gun, a rapid fire of bullets exiting the weapon in a blink of an eye.

The moment he stopped shooting, Carl got up and moved from behind the boxes, heading for the opening of the truck. I was right behind him, grabbing the hand gun I'd picked out before as I stayed a step behind Carl, watching everyone else outside the truck gather and watch my brother. It was clear... they were all ready to kill him.

"Stay back!" Carl warned before anyone could do anything. "Drop your weapons. I only want Negan. He killed my friends. No one else needs to die," he told them all.

The sound of whistling was heard as Negan moved from around the side of the truck. He watched Carl- his eyes never wavering off my brother- as he moved. Keeping his men between himself and Carl's line of fire, he took a few more steps before stopping behind one of his men- using him as a shield.

"Damn." Negan grinned. "You are adorable. Did you pick that gun 'cause it looks cool? You totally did, right?" Shaking his head, he kept his grin in place. "Kid, I ain't gonna lie you scare the shit outta me."

Carl had been watching Negan, his need for revenge too strong for him to divide his attention.

I saw the man move first. He was one of Negan's soldiers. No one I recognised, and no one I cared about. All I knew was he had moved, towards my brother, and that was not okay.

But Carl reacted faster than I thought he would. Turning, he shot the guy down without hesitating a second. Of course, with him being distracted, that gave an opening for someone else to step up...

Dwight grabbed the gun and Carl, pushing my brother to the ground and shifting to aim the gun at him.

Seeing my brother in danger, I moved. Fast.

Jumping off the truck, I stepped up to Dwight and aimed the gun I held at his head in an instant. "Don't test me, asshole."

Dwight's eyes flicked to the gun in my hand before his eyes met mine. There was a spilt second where he thought his options through, and then decided to make the wrong choice... he decided to fight me.

Moving quickly, he elbowed my arm out of the way so the gun was no longer aimed at his head. But I couldn't care less about the gun. I didn't need it to kill him.

Both of us dropped the guns to the ground and turned on each other. It was a blur of movements that would have only taken a few seconds to act out. But it felt longer as we both attacked each other. He got in a few hits, but I got in more. I was faster than him- though not stronger- which meant I could dodge him before he'd get the chance to do some damage.

After a few hits, I knew I had to get him to the ground, and I finally got the opportunity. He went to punch me, but I was too fast for him. I ducked out of the way before kicking out and tripping him.

The moment his back was pressed against the dirt, I was on him with one of my knives out as I pressed the blade to his throat. "I warned you," I sneered.

We both just glared at each other. I wanted to kill him. I so desperately wanted to... but I wasn't stupid.

The sound of a single person clapping caught my attention as I looked over to the side, seeing Negan watching me with a grin on his face. He looked impressed... which to piss me off even more.

Movement from behind Negan caught my eye and suddenly everything inside me fell.

Daryl.

He stood behind a fence where a bunch of walkers were chained. He was watching me with a desperate look in his eyes. He was scared for me. He was worried and he was angry as well, but fear ruled over his emotions and took charge.

Negan stopped so he stood by me, but still gave Daryl and I full view of each other. "Well, Vic-tor-i-a, this is a surprise." He offered me his hand.

I didn't even look at him. I didn't even give him a second of my attention. All of my focus was on the man I loved as the two of us continued to stare at each other.

Clicking his tongue, obviously not too pleased that I was ignoring him, Negan then moved to my brother. "Come on, kid. I'll show you around." He now offered Carl his hand.

My attention snapped to my brother, watching to make sure no one touched him. I'd kill anyone who even though about hurting him.

"You know, you do the same damn stink-eye as your dad, except it's only half as good 'cause, well, you know, you're missing an eye," Negan chuckled, causing me to glare at him for making fun of my brother. "Really?" He shook his head at Carl. "You're really not gonna take my hand either? 'Cause you're lucky you even still have a hand. Same as your boy Daryl over here, now that I think about it." He turned his head to look at my husband. "How's the job going, Daryl? Hot enough for you?"

My attention turned back to Daryl, who was now fidgeting on the spot. He wanted to come over to Carl and me, I could tell. He wanted to defend us, to talk to us, figure out why we were here and make sure nothing happened while we were under Negan's roof. I could only imagine what he'd been through, and I could only imagine what he thought was in stall for Carl and myself.

"Yeah, it'd be tough with one arm." Negan chuckled again before looking to Carl one last time, offering his hand still. After a moment or two, Carl gave in and took the hand. "Ah, smart kid." Negan nodded, pulling Carl to his feet.

I didn't like it. I didn't like him touching my brother in any way. Even this was enough to make me want to kill Negan more than ever.

Movement underneath me turned my attention to Dwight and my knife which was still pressed against his throat. It would be so easy for me to just slice...

"Victoria. Sweetheart." Negan stood next to me again. "Take the Goddamn hand."

Taking a deep breath, I looked up and glared at the leader as I grabbed his offered hand with my free one and let him pull me to my feet.

He tugged me up hard enough so I nearly lost my footing. The only thing that stopped me was my hand pressing against his chest before I could stop myself, and his other hand moving to rest on my side to offer some support.

"Mm." He grinned, looking down at me. "Fuck, you are perfect."

Heat flushed through me and I hated it. I hated how I had no control over the attraction I felt for the man who'd killed two of my friends right in front of me and had taken and tortured my husband. But as much as I hated it, like I said, I had no control.

His hand gripped on to my other knife as he pulled it from my belt. When I flinched, and moved to grab it, he simply shook his head. "I've seen what you can do with these, Sweetheart. You can have them back when I trust you," he told me before pointing to my other knife, the one from Daryl which I'd been pressing against Dwight's throat, but now sat in the grip of my hand by my side.

Glaring harder, I gave him the knife. "I've got a bag in the truck with some stuff in it, including my bat. So if you want me to keep that, I suggest you make sure your men fetch it."

His grin widened. "You have no idea what you do to me, Sweetheart," he told me, his voice low so only I could hear what he'd said. Then he let go of me and turned to his people. "Fat Joseph, grab Victoria's bag from the truck and bring it to my room. Dwighty-boy, why don't you grab Daryl, take him to the kitchen, do a little grub prep," he ordered.

I watched Dwight- who was now off the ground- as he moved towards Daryl. Every fibre in my being told me to go and stop him. To keep any of these assholes from touching him ever again. But I was smarter than that. I knew the best thing for me to do was to stay by Negan and do as he said. Maybe then he'd let me talk to my husband. Maybe.

"New plan, boys. Let's burn the dead, unload the truck later," Negan told the others before they started to get to work. He sighed, shaking his head. "Damn, I am not gonna have time to screw any of my wives today." Pausing, he grinned, looking to Dwight. "I mean, maybe one."

I wasn't sure what that was all about, but I could see Dwight did not look too please about Negan's words. For a second he actually looked a little pissed.

Negan turned to Carl then, taking his weapons away as well before he handed them over to a larger man. "Come on." He gestured for Carl and I to follow him as he started for some doors.

"What are you gonna do to us?" Carl asked before I even had the chance to take a step.

Coming to a stop, Negan ran a hand over his stubble before he turned to Carl. "Number one, do not shatter my image of you. You're a badass. You're not scared of shit. Don't be scared of me. It's a disappointment," he told him before letting his grin fall back on to his lips. "Number two... you really want me to ruin the surprise?" He shook his head. "Screw you, kid. Seriously. Screw you."

With that, he turned and started towards the doors again. This time, before anything else could be said, I moved to stand next to Carl and gave him a short nod, silently telling him we were okay and I was there for him. He gave me a nod back, thanking me for the help earlier and letting me know he was there for me as well.

Family stuck together and protected each other. I would step in front of a bullet and die before I'd let something happen to Carl. Although... I'd been shot multiple times by now and hadn't died yet. I just hoped my luck hadn't run out already.

Still following Negan, we stepped through the doors of the large factory the Saviours seemed to use as a home. I looked around, taking in the space. It was what you'd expected of an old factory, nothing really special about it. Yet, I was surprised at the number of people gathered below the perch Negan, Carl and I stood on.

Everyone was working away, going about their business, chatting to other's. I couldn't make out anything they were saying, but I could tell they weren't all soldiers. No, these people were just... people. They were like my friends back home. They stayed back and kept the place running. There were women, men, elderly and children. All ages, colours and sizes. It was a community...

If it seemed like I was surprised, I was. I thought Negan would have only had soldiers in his group. Maybe a few workers, and a lot of women walking around in barely nothing for the entertainment of his brute men. But it seemed I was wrong.

Negan turned to grin and Carl and myself. "Check this out," he told us, looking a little excited before he turned to walk to the rail that over looked all the people.

The moment they all noticed him, everyone got to their knees and fell silent.

Getting into business mode, Negan looked down at his people as he spoke. "The Saviours have gone out into the world and fought the dead and come back with some really good stuff. Some of that stuff can be yours if you work hard and play... by the rules. Today, everybody gets fresh vegetables at dinner. No points needed."

This news seemed to please everyone as I heard some pleased words and they all applauded.

Ignoring them, Negan turned to Carl and I once more as we stood next to him. "You see that? Respect. Cool, huh? They still on their knees?" Without waiting for an answer he looked to his people again. "As you were!" he called before walking off.

Everyone rose from the ground and went about their day again as if nothing had happened- though I could still hear happy chatter about the vegetables.

I watched them all, and found everything else falling away as I pondered the thought of all that power. I was a leader back home, sure. But I didn't have the power dad had. Or Maggie. Definitely not like Negan. Even Gregory had more power than I did.

Stepping up to the railing, I couldn't help but rest a hand on the cool, yellow painted metal. A shiver ran down my spine as the possibility of having all that control thrilled my senses. It excited me to think something like this could be attainable if I played my cards right.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't want everything Negan had. I didn't want the mindless followers and _all_ the power. But having more than I had already would be interesting... Maybe if I had more power I could figure out a way to get my people out of the mess we were now in.

Movement to my side caught my attention as Carl did the same as myself, resting his hand on the railing and looking down at all the people. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing as me. If he was feeling the same things as well...

Shaking my head, I let the fantasy fade before giving Carl a nudge. "Better not keep him waiting," I told him as we turned to go follow Negan.

He wasn't standing too far from us. In fact, he'd been leaning against a wall casually, watching with a grin. His eyes caught mine and his grin widened. I could tell he knew what I'd been thinking. I could also tell it amused him to know I could actually be tempted with something like power...

"Come on." He pushed off the wall, offering me his arm. "I've got some people I need to see."

Knowing I had no choice, I looped my arm through his and ignored Carl's glare before I walked beside Negan as he led Carl and I through his home.

**  
**

**Chapter 12**

**Sunshine**

**NPOV**

I wanted her. You have no fucking idea how much I wanted her. Victoria was nothing like my wives. She was strong and she was smart, but I knew she was also gentle and caring- seeing her with her daughter the other day told me that. She was drop dead gorgeous as well. When I saw her jump out of the truck, her hair pulled out of her face and up on top of her head, dressed in a tight grey shirt with a red flannel wrapped around her waist and a pair of tight faded black jeans... I was hard in an instant.

Then when I watched her fight Dwight and take him down... Fuck. Me. It was when she'd straddled him on the ground, that's when I couldn't keep my thoughts from running wild as I imagined myself between those juicy legs of hers.

When I'd pulled her up, I'd tugged harder than necessary on purpose. Feeling her hand press against my chest. I was sure she hadn't noticed her fingers spread against my shirt curiously. Her cheeks had flushed as my hand rested on her side. I knew it. She liked me. Sure, she hated me. I didn't blame her for that. I also knew she hated the fact that she liked me. But she still liked me.

Seeing her rest a hand on the railing and look down at my people had me grinning again. I knew she was a leader for her own people, but I also knew Rick held the most power. She was more of a second in charge kind of person. In the end, it was Rick's choice. Thinking about her standing there as I ruled over these people... none of my other wives were power hungry. I never chose women who wanted control because I did not share very well. But I thought I could make an exception when it came to Victoria. That's how badly I wanted her.

We stepped through the double doors that led to the parlour my wives spent most of their time in. All six were there, sitting around as they read books, talked to each other, listened to music, or did whatever it is they did. They were all dressed in gorgeous black dresses, with heels on and their hair done. They were stunning.

"Ladies," I spoke, catching their attention. "Don't mind the kid or Victoria here," I told them before they all went back to what they'd been doing.

Glancing over, I could see both Carl and Vickie looking around the room. It was a pretty fancy room- especially considering it was the end of the world- everything looked like it came out of some millionaire magazine. Golds, whites and greys. A chandelier, velvet lounges, cabinets stocked with crystal glass bottles filled with only the finest of alcohol beverages. It was a pretty fancy room indeed.

Grinning, I turned my focus on Carl- who was on the other side of Vickie. "I know. Every woman where you're from dresses like they do the books at an auto shop. You're gonna want to look at their titties. It's cool. I won't mind. They won't mind. Knock yourself out."

Victoria turned to glare at me.

I couldn't help but chuckle lightly as I brought a hand up to brush some of her stray hair behind her ear. "He's almost a man, Sweetheart, it's gonna happen sooner or later."

She pushed my hand away as she continued to glare. "For starters, I'd really like to know when you're gonna stop calling me that. Secondly, you're not his father so back off. And thirdly, we don't dress like we work at an auto shop, we dress like we're ready for action. Heels and dresses are impractical."

My grin simply widened. I loved how she wasn't afraid to speak her mind to me. "You're under my roof, so I'll do what I want, _Sweetheart_. And don't worry." I leaned in closer to whisper in her ear, "It doesn't matter what you wear, you'll always be _super-_ hot."

When my breath brushed against her ear, she shuddered and tugged on my arm slightly. She didn't mean to pull me to her, I think she'd just flinched, but either way, I was suddenly a little closer to her, breathing in the smell of her. She smelt amazing, by the way. Like the woods, and sweat, and pure woman.

Pulling back, I continued to grin at her, giving a wink before I turned my attention to my wives.

Sherry was looking in our direction. She was sitting with Amber, comforting her fellow wife, but she was also watching Victoria and me. There was a look of worry in her gaze. She never liked it when another woman joined my side. Not that she was jealous, I knew that. She'd just prefer it if she could warn the women away.

I never hurt my wives. I told the truth the other day when I said I hated to kill women. Violence towards the better sex was something I did not condone. Yet Sherry felt the women I took under my wing would be a lot safer if they weren't married to me. I wasn't exactly sure why, but I never questioned it. I didn't really care. It's not like she could actually do anything.

Keeping my eyes on Sherry, I spoke. "Can I talk to you for a minute, dear wife? Make yourself comfortable," I told Victoria and Carl before moving over to the bar, meeting Sherry there. I sighed, reaching for a crystal bottle of scotch. "What happened with Amber and Mark?" I asked, pouring her a drink.

She just looked at me, uncaring. "What we talk about when you're not here is none of your business."

I chuckled lightly, turned on by her sass. "Fair play." I grinned, grabbing myself a beer. "You wanna know what I heard? I heard that Mark skipped out on redirect duty to be with Amber," I noted as I opened the beer bottle. "I need to know if it's true."

She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. The way she looked away, averting her eyes. I knew in an instant that it was true. But I wasn't going to push for an answer until she admitted the truth.

I took a drink before speaking again, "There are rules for a reason. Nothing matters if you're dead. You, my dear, are here because you get that."

Shaking her head, she looked down at the ground. "She made a mistake." Her eyes then met mine. "Go easy on her."

That right there, pissed me off. "Calm the fuck down," I snapped. "I ever hit one of you?"

"No," she answered right away, still as confident as ever. "But I know you. There's worse."

Standing there, looking at each other for a moment or two, neither of us spoke as we let her words fall between us. Yes, she was right, there was worse. But I was still easy on these ladies. I could be a mean son of a bitch if I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted. But I didn't. I wouldn't. We both knew that.

Letting a grin fall on my lips, I leaned back from her. "Well, look at you!" I chuckled. "To be continued," was all I said before I turned away.

My eyes caught Vickie's in an instant. Carl was looking at me as well, but it was Victoria that held my attention. If any of my wives came close to being like her, it would be Sherry. I had a feeling those two would actually be friends if it weren't for the circumstances... that and the fact that Sherry left Daryl for dead.

Yeah, I knew about that. Dwight had told me everything that had happened after he'd run off with Tina and Sherry. I knew all about Daryl and how he'd helped them. How he saved them from my guys looking for Dwight and the ladies. It's one of the reasons why I know he'll be a good soldier once I break him.

Which brings me back to Vickie. As much as I wanted her, there was no way in hell I'd get Daryl to be loyal to me if I kept her to myself. That right there did not sit right with me. I wanted everything. I wanted all of her. But chances were, I'd never get it.

Moving towards her and her brother, grin still on my lips, I took a drink of the beer before offering it to Vickie. "Here. Loosen up a little."

She looked from me, to the bottle, and then back to me. "No thanks."

Tilting my head, I gave her a warning look. "Sweetheart, remember what I said last time I offered you a drink? You take it when its offered."

Yet she still refused. "I don't drink alcohol," she countered, standing there with her head held high in defiance.

Shaking my head, I let out an amused sigh. "You are going to be the death of me."

"Here's hoping." She glared.

Chuckling, I didn't respond to her words as I stepped over to Carl. She tensed, watching my every move. I knew how protective she was over him. She'd proven time and time again that she'd do anything to keep her brother and all her loved one's safe. Which is exactly why I grabbed Carl's arm and placed the beer in his hand. To piss her off.

She hated every moment of it, but she couldn't do shit. We both knew that in the end, she had to do what I said. We still had that deal, and I was determined to take full advantage of it.

Turning away from the siblings, I set my eyes on one of my wives. She was younger than the others, smaller as well. The baby of the group as my men had said on occasion- of course, they didn't realise I'd heard them say it because they'd never say something like that to my face. She was tiny, with long blonde hair that fell down her back and nearly reached her ass. She had big blue eyes, that were set in fear right now because she knew she'd screwed up.

Walking over, I sat on the chestnut coffee table in front of her. "Amber, baby. You know I don't want anyone here that doesn't want to be here, right?

Refusing to look me in the eye, she nodded. "Mm-hmm."

Leaning closer, I gave her a short nod. "So if you want to leave and go back to Mark you can. But what can't you do?"

She whimpered, finally meeting my gaze. "Cheat on you."

"That is exactly right," I spoke before she could take her next breath. "You can't cheat on me." I shrugged. "There's plenty of other gals who would love to take your place, and there's a few job openings that I can think of. You want to go back to Mark and your mom? Hell, I'll put you all on the same job."

"No." She shook her head, voice wavering. "I- I'll stay. I'm... I'm sorry."

"You know what that means, right?" I grabbed her chin, keeping her eyes locked on mine as I repeated myself, "You know what that means, right?"

"Ye- Yes. I love _you_ , Negan," she answered, on the verge of crying.

"Oh, of course you do, darlin'." I offered her a kind smile. "I don't know why you're crying. It's all gonna work out aces for you." Chuckling lightly I looked over at Victoria, seeing her glaring at me.

 _If looks could kill_...

Turning back to Amber, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead before getting to my feet and walking away.

I meant what I said. All of these women had a choice to go- Sherry not so much, it was a little more complicated seeing as Dwight fit into our deal as well. But the rest could leave whenever they wanted. I wouldn't stop them. I would simply give them a job. Which is exactly why none of them wanted to go. They couldn't work. They didn't want to work. So, they chose to stay with me instead.

Coming to stand by Sherry at the bar again, I leaned against the counter I opened my mouth to speak but stopped as she spoke first.

"Who's the girl, Negan?"

I was taken aback, causing my grin to widen. "Well now, I don't think that's any of your business."

She shook her head. "It is if you decide to drag her into this with the rest of us."

My grin fell slightly as I sighed. "Don't worry, I don't think she'll be willing to give up her own husband anytime soon," I assured her, hating that fact more than you could possible understand. "Doesn't mean I won't try," I quickly added as my grin returned. Before she could say anything else, I changed the subject, "Will you get Carson for me?"

Knowing I wasn't going to say anything else about Victoria, she simply sighed and gave a short nod. "Yeah." Turning she went to walk away.

I followed, stopping her after a few steps. "Did you see that? Wasn't hard on her, even though I am very hard in general."

"You're an asshole."

"I know," I admitted with a shrug. "But the messed-up thing is, you like me anyway. You know the truth, just like me." Chuckling, I moved closer to her.

Leaning in, I didn't stop until her lips pressed against mine in a soft yet tender kiss. She responded instantly, her hand coming up to cup my cheek as the kiss continued. It wasn't anything special, but it sure as hell was nice.

I got some satisfaction knowing Vickie was watching as well. I knew she saw me as a monster. I also knew she liked me. Those two conflicting emotions were enough to piss her off. But seeing me with Sherry, well... I just hoped that riled her up even more.

The sound of footsteps caught my attention. But I didn't pull back from Sherry. I wasn't finished. So instead I simple raised my hand and gestured for whoever it was to stop and wait as I continued to kiss one of my many wives.

I was perfectly content kissing Sherry, until I heard Vickie's sharp intake of breath.

**DPOV**

Walking into Negan's wives' parlour I ignored everything in the room. I'd been here before. I'd been tasked to deliver Negan stuff here once, but I knew he'd make me do it just so he could show off everything he had.

None of it affected me. I couldn't care less about how many women he had. Just as long as Vic wasn't one of them. She was all I wanted and all I cared about. Even seeing Negan and Sherry kissing didn't bother me, because the moment I'd walked through the double doors with Dwight pulling me along, I'd set my eyes on the two people that actually matter. Carl and Vic. Then, as if it was instinct, my eyes locked on to Vic's.

She gasped, shocked at the sight of me. We were so close, barely a few feet between us. If it wasn't for the tray in my hands, Dwight holding me back and Negan being in the room, I would have grabbed her and held her to me.

Negan cleared his throat, causing both Vic and I to look at him. But it was Vic who held his attention as he grinned at her. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. It was clear he was telling her not to think about doing anything.

My grip on the tray tightened as my need to hit Negan over the head with it increased.

Grin still firmly in place, he stepped up to me, grabbed a toothpick and stabbing a piece of cheese before eating the snack and turning to Carl. "Carl, will you grab this tray for me?"

Part of me was glad he hadn't asked Vic to do it and part of me wasn't. I knew, if she'd grabbed the tray, she would have found some way to touch me, even if it was just a brush of the fingers. If that had happened... I don't think I could control myself.

Doing as he was told, Carl placed the beer bottle in his hand on the floor and then straightened up to take the tray from me. All of this was done without a single word being said.

The moment he had the tray, I turned to Negan. "Why you got 'em here?"

"Whoa!" Negan shook his head, seeming surprised I'd said something. "What we talk about when you're not here is none of your business." He turned to Sherry and grinned at her for a moment before turning back to me. "Do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye the kid has."

Vic stepped forward in an instant, putting herself in front of Negan as she glared at him. My whole body tensed, but Dwight held me back, keeping me in line.

Negan looked down at Vic, his eyes softening but grin staying in place. "Don't worry, Sweetheart. I haven't forgotten."

I had no idea what he was talking about, but his words seemed to ease Vic- though not by much. She still stood in front of him, ridged and tense. I could tell she was ready for action. She was always ready.

Reaching down, Negan grabbed Vic's left hand, bringing it up into view as he played with the ring around her finger. "I don't think I mentioned this before, but this is a very fine piece." His eyes looked to me as he stepped even closer to her.

I growled in warning but did not move.

Chuckling, Negan shook his head. "I think someone's a little jealous."

"I think you're lucky you took all my weapons," Vic told him, her voice so calm and smooth. It was actually pretty scary...

Looking down at her again, Negan used his other hand to tuck some hair behind her ear. "Oh, I know, Sweetheart. I've seen what you can do, and fuck it's impressive."

"You haven't seen anything yet." She meant it warningly, but he turned her words into something else.

"Promise?" he asked, his voice now dark and husky.

I was ready to rip him to shreds. The way he was looking down at her like there was nothing else in that moment. I knew that look. That's how _I_ looked at her. No one else could. She was mine and I was hers. That's how it works.

Clearing his throat, Negan let go of Vic and took a step away from her as he turned to me. "You go with Dwight. He'll get you a mop." he nodded before turning to Dwight. "Dwighty boy fire up that furnace. I'll be down in a few. Time for a little Deja vu." He grinned as he looked to Vic and Carl. "Come on." Nodding for them to follow him, he then walked out of the room.

With Negan's back turned, and Dwight on the other side of me- unable to see- Vic reached over and let her hand slide into mine as she walked past.

My heart both sunk and swelled at the brief touch.

I wanted to grab her and pull her to me. I wanted to hold her and never let her go. I wanted to tell her how much I loved and missed her. I wanted to fight our way out of this place and take her home. I wanted to keep her safe and protected. I wanted to stay by her side for the rest of our lived. I just wanted her.

But I was smart enough not to do anything. So I gave her hand a little squeeze and then let it go, feeling part of me shatter as I did so.

When I looked back up my eyes met Sherry's as she looked up from where my hand had been holding Vic's. I knew in an instant that she knew. She knew who Vic was to me and what she meant, and she pitied me.

With a hard tug from Dwight, I turned and walked out of the room, leaving Sherry and the rest of Negan's wives as I moved to get back to work...

**VPOV**

I was a step behind Carl who was a step behind Negan. But when we walked through the next door we came to, I stopped myself as I took in the space.

It was Negan's bedroom, that was clear. But it was nothing like I'd expected. I thought it would have been big, more bold and bright, with a heap of fancy furniture in it. But instead, it was actually quite nice.

A _huge_ dark wood bed with black sheets and pillows. A black leather three-seater couch, glass coffee table and two single black and white stripes single seaters across for that. Long black curtains pulled back from each of the three windows. Light grey paint on the walls. A shelf, some dressers, two doors- that probably lead to a wardrobe and bathroom.

I was in awe of the beauty of the room. Even all the little bits and pieces. Everything seemed to fit. It was perfect.

"Like what you see?" Negan asked.

He'd been holding the door open, watching me. I hadn't paid any attention to him seeing as I was so drawn to the beauty of the room before me. But now, as he leaned closer and whispered in my ear, I felt myself flush as my skin tingled where his breath touched me.

"If my suspicions about why you're here are correct, then I can promise you this... today won't be the only time you'll see my bedroom. So there's no need to take it all in at once. You'll have plenty of opportunities," he told me, his voice low and suggestive.

I hated him. I hated him so much and I hated myself. I hated how I wanted to lean against him as his voice, which sounded like sex- yes, I just said that- made me feel light headed and confused. His words were like a spell which clouded my mind.

Not just that, but every other part of me reacted to him as well. My heart raced, my skin warmed and tingled, my stomach twisted and welcomed the many dancing butterflies that made me feel strange. Only one person ever made me feel this way. Well, two, but one of them had never been this intense.

Shane and Daryl. Shane had only shown me what I could feel. Daryl intensified it all. He made me feel like the only person in the world. He made me feel loved, wanted, needed, desired. He made me feel perfect, because he perfected me. So feeling all these things for Negan, was not okay. Sure, I didn't feel loved, or perfect, or any of the gushy stuff I got when with Daryl. But I felt the heat. Oh boy, was there heat.

Shaking my head, I glared at Negan before moving over to stand with my brother.

Negan closed his door, and moved to sit on the leather couch.

Watching him, Carl spoke as we stood in the middle of the room awkwardly. "Are all of those women actually your-"

Negan cut him off, "Wives?" He grinned at my brother, nodding. "Yeah. Always wanted to screw a whole bunch of different women. I mean, why settle for just one? Why follow the same old rules? Why not make life better?"

He knew perfectly well that his words were pissing me off. I could tell by the way his eyes would flick towards me ever so slightly as if waiting to see how I would react. But I wasn't going to react. No. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me squirm any more.

"Speaking of. Sit." He gestured to the single seats. "Let's get started."

Carl moved first, taking the first seat as he rested the tray of food on the coffee table. "Started on what?"

I moved around the back of the chairs, making my way over to the second. There was no way I was walking past my brother and giving Negan a chance to either stare at my ass or lock eyes with him. I think I'd had enough of him already, and I hadn't even been here for an hour yet- at least it didn't feel like an hour had passed yet.

Negan chuckled, his eyes following me. "I want to get to know you a little better, Carl."

"Why?" Carl asked.

If he could tell something was up between Negan and I, he hadn't said anything yet. I think he could tell though, obviously. He just wasn't saying anything because he didn't want to embarrass me. At least, that's what I was getting from him vibe.

"Work it out." Negan shrugged. "You're smart. In fact, I'm gonna tell you just how smart you are, in case you don't already know. See, I'd expect a kid your age to be moping around, not doing a damn thing, except crying about missing the prom. But you? You go on a mission. You find me, you kill two of my men, and you're smart enough to know that I'm not gonna let this slide."

I shifted on my seat, glaring at him. In the room with his wives, he'd clearly stated that he remembered our deal, but I wasn't leaving anything to chance. If he hurt my brother, I'd hurt him right back. My health and safety be damned.

Negan's eyes flicked to mine as he chuckled lightly. He was enjoying this too much and it was pissing me off even more. "Ah, I can't..." Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to Carl. "I can't do it. It's like talking to a birthday present. You got to take that crap off your face." I flinched as he went on as if it were a big joke. "I want to see what Grandma got me."

"No." Carl glared at him.

Negan's grin fell in an instant as he snapped. "Two men!"

I was on my feet in an instant.

"Sit down, Victoria," he warned, his voice only slightly calmer. "I can't hurt him, but I can hurt Daryl."

His words made me drop back to the chair as my heart sunk. He was right. I could do jack shit. If I tried anything, he'd just take it out on the people I loved. He wouldn't hurt me. That would be too easy. No, he'd hurt Daryl, or dad or anyone from back home. Just to teach me a lesson.

Seeing as I'd listened, he turned back to Carl. "Two men. Punishment. Do you really want to piss me off?"

Carl looked from the brute to me, our eyes locking. There was question there. He hadn't missed what Negan had said. But there was also fear. He'd never had the bandage off.

I'd seen the wound. Of course I'd seen it.

To be honest, it made me feel sad because it brought memories back. Memories of that day and everything that had happened, all the people we'd lost. But the would itself didn't freak me out or anything. It had at first, but after all the times I'd gone with him to get the bandage changed, I guess I was just used to it by now.

Offering him an encouraging nod, I held my breath as he began. With a heavy sigh, he brought has hands up he took his hat off and handed it over to me before he got started on the bandages.

Negan chuckled. "Almost there."

I looked over at him, seeing excitement in his eyes as he watched my brother.

Carl kept unwrapped the bandaged from around his head, going around and around the few times it had been wrapped. With Denise gone, I usually handled his bandaging now, but the day I'd let home was the day it had to be changed again, so someone else must have done it- I knew I hadn't.

With the bandage now off, Carl kept looking down at the ground as his hair covered his eye. He was ashamed. I could feel it.

"Get that hair out of your face," Negan told him, no longer chuckling. "Let me see."

Once again, Carl did as he was told as he lifted his hand and pulled his hair back and away from his face, revealing the wound. He looked up, meeting Negan's eyes, even though I knew he didn't want to.

" _Christ_! That is disgusting. No wonder you cover that up." Negan leaned forward to get a better look. "Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in the mirror?"

My attention was focused on my brother. Negan's words were pissing me off, but they were upsetting Carl more, which was more important to me.

"That is gross as hell. I can see your socket," Negan chuckled. "I want to touch it. Oh, come on. Can I touch it?"

He'd just crossed a line.

Getting to my feet, I moved to kneel in front of Carl. "Ignore him, okay. Just look at me." I smiled kindly at my brother, bringing my hand up to cup his cheek. When his eye met mine, I gave a gentle nod. "See, it's fine. You're fine."

His eye stayed locked on to mine as I refused to look away from him.

I needed him to see someone look at him no differently than they always had. Carl was my baby brother. He may be bigger, and badder, but he was still my baby brother and I would always love and protect him. His eye didn't change that, just like my scars didn't change his thoughts on me.

Negan sighed. "Damn. Holy hell, kid. Look... I just- It's easy to forget that you're just a kid."

Carl sniffled as he kept looking down at me.

I smiled up at him still. "I'm here. I'm here," I reassured him.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything."

I looked over my shoulder at Negan. "Well, you did."

He just sighed again, "I... I was just screwing around."

I was about to say something else, to tell Negan off for being such an asshole. But before I could, Carl spoke first.

"Just forget it."

I thought he'd been talking to me, but when I looked to him again, I could see he'd actually been talking to Negan. Pulling himself together, he nodded to me, letting me know he was okay.

A knock had all three of us turn to the door.

"Come in," Negan called.

The door opened, the larger guy from by the truck earlier walked in, holding Lucille. "I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but, uh you left Lucille out by the truck."

I stood and turned to look at Negan, seeing him as surprised as I was. The way he talked about Lucille and treated her, I was shocked to find out he'd simply left her somewhere...

"Seriously?" Negan shook his head. "I never do that. I guess a kid firing a machine gun and a chick beating the shit out of Dwight is a little bit of a distraction." He shrugged, turning to look at Carl. "All jokes aside, you look rad as hell. I wouldn't cover that shit up. It may not be a hit with the ladies, but I swear to you, no one is gonna screw with you looking like that. No, sir."

Suddenly I wasn't too sure how I was supposed to feel, which seemed to be a common occurrence when it came to Negan. Sure, he'd just upset my brother and almost made him cry. But he was making up for it now... It made me want to hate and like him. Most of the things he did- besides all the violence- made me want to like and hate him.

Looking to his man again, Negan spoke, "Fat Joseph, did you carry her all the way up here for me?"

Joseph smiled. "Yes, sir."

Negan nodded, reaching out his hand. Joseph act right away, handing Lucille over. Negan looked to her, before turning his attention to his man again. "Were you gentle? Were you kind?" Joseph looked a little lost for words at his boss's questions. "Did you treat her like a lady?"

"Mm... yes." Joseph nodded, though I could tell he'd only said yes because he was scared of what would happen if he said no. "Yes, sir."

Negan looked thoughtful before he asked his next question. "Did you pet her little pussy like a lady?"

"Oh, my God," I groaned, rolling my eyes as I moved to sit in my seat again, dropping onto the cushioned chair.

Negan chuckled, as he looked to me. "I'm just screwing around." He turned to Joseph again. "A baseball bat doesn't have a pussy."

Instant relief washed over Joseph's face as he began to laugh- which was not the most attractive laugh I'd heard or seen...

After a moment, Negan gestured to the door with Lucille. "Get the hell out."

Joseph was gone in a matter of seconds, without saying a single word as he left. He hadn't even glanced at Carl or myself the whole time he'd been in the room.

The moment the door closed, Negan's attention was back on my brother and I. "Now, you see? That's what I'm talking about. Men breaking each other's balls. This is the shit your dads supposed to be teaching you."

I guess that was true. It was like in movies, where the dad and son go fishing and camping or whatever. The dad's supposed to teach the son how to be a man. But with the end of the world and a bunch of people to lead and a baby to take care of, dad just didn't seem to have a lot of time for Carl- or myself, but I could deal.

Sighing, Negan leaned back against the lounge. "What do you like to do for fun, kid? You like music?" He nodded. "I want you to sing me a song."

Carl looked just as confused as I felt as he spoke. "What?"

"Yeah." Negan shrugged. "You mowed down two of my men with a machine gun. I want something in return for that. Sing me a song."

"I..." Carl looked to the ground. "I- I can't think of any."

"Bullshit! What'd your mum used to sing you? What'd your dad play in the car?" Negan got to his feet, pointing Lucille at Carl. "Start. Singing," he ordered, moving over to an open space of the room as he waited.

I glared at Negan as I got up from my seat again. He turned to me and watched as I knelt in front of Carl. There was no way I was making him do this on his own.

"Hey." I offered another kind smile. "You remember that song we used to sing with mum? It was her favourite. We used to sing it in the garden, in the car, all the time. You remember?" I asked, keeping my voice low so only he could hear.

Thinking about mum hurt, but actually mentioning her was torture. I'd lost a piece of me the day she'd died, and I would never get it back. But Carl? He'd lost more than a piece of himself. That was the day he'd lost his childhood and innocence. That was the day he'd killed his first person...

"I'm waiting," Negan noted impatiently.

"You can wait a little longer," I told him, not caring about my attitude.

He chuckled lightly but said nothing more.

"You remember it, right?" I asked Carl, my smile back in place.

He nodded. "Yeah... yeah I think so."

"Great. We'll sing it together," I told him, before I started and by the fourth word, he joined in.

_"You are my sunshine"_

"Go on," Negan called.

_"My only sunshine_

_You make me happy_

_When skies are grey"_

Negan grunted and Carl flinched. I could see Negan in the corner of my eye as he pretended to bash someone's skull in with Lucille. I chose to ignore it, but Carl's nerves and fears got the better of him as he stopped singing.

Negan shook his head. "Do not let me distract you, young man."

Tugging on Carl's hand, I grabbed his attention. "Sing with me." I smiled at him, trying to ease his mind.

_"You'll never know dear"_

Negan continued to grunt as he swung Lucille. But I simply cupped Carl's cheek and kept my eyes locked on to his as we sung together.

_"How much I love you"_

It was emotional. I could feel myself tearing up as I thought of all the times we'd sung the song with mum. It was the song she'd sing when we were sad, or sick, or simply needed a pick-me-up.

I could remember her holding me in her arms as we sat on the rocking chair out the back by the flower bed. She would sing the song in my ear and stroke my hair, rocking us gently. I'd lost my pet fish that day, but it felt like I'd lost my best friend. So mum stayed with me as I cried, soothing my pain. She always knew how to make us feel better…

_"So please don't take my Sunshine away..."_

I couldn't go on. Closing my eyes, I felt a tear slip and roll down my cheek as my heart ached at the memories.

**CPOV**

I looked down at Vickie as we finished singing. She'd always had a nice voice. I'd teased her back at the prison. I'd always told her she should sing with Beth. But she'd been too nervous. I never understood why though. Her voice was so pretty.

Looking down at her now, I suddenly felt bad. I'd put her in this situation. If I had just stayed home, she wouldn't be kneeling on Negan's bedroom floor as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Oblivious to my sister, Negan moved to sit on the coffee table. "That's pretty good. Lucille loves being sung to. It's about the only thing she loves more than bashing in brains. Weird, huh?" he chuckled.

I didn't look up at him. I didn't even care about him right now. All the anger I felt washed away as I looked down at Vickie.

I'd been waiting for her to shut down. I'd been waiting for her to fall apart ever since we'd lost Glenn and Abraham. I'd been waiting for her to go numb like she usually did. But it had never come. It was as if she'd been shutting everything and everyone out. Singing the song, I guess it let all her feelings back in.

Negan sighed as if he just realised something. "Did your mother sing that to you? Where is she now?"

Staying strong for Vickie, I looked to Negan. Without saying a word, I made it clear what had happened with a single look.

"Damn." He shook his head. "Dead, huh? You see it happen?"

I tensed at the memory of that day. "I shot her before it could..."

"Damn, no wonder you're a little serial killer in the making," he chuckled lightly.

That was the last straw, I guess, because at that moment Vickie was up on her feet. I went to follow, seeing her look to the door, but I stopped when Negan stood as well, grabbing her arm.

She froze. I froze. Neither one of us liked him touching her, but we also didn't know what to do. We weren't sure if there was anything we _could_ do.

"Kid, why don't you go wait outside while your sister and I have a little chat?" Negan said without even giving me a glance.

I didn't move. I didn't want to leave Vickie alone with this monster. If I left, I could protect her. If I left, I wouldn't know what was happening. He could do anything to her. I'd rather die than-

Negan's spoke up, cutting off my train of thought. "It wasn't a question kid."

Taking a deep breath, keeping her eyes on the ground, Vickie nodded. "Go, Carl."

Getting to my feet, I moved to stand next to Vickie, resting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing ever so slightly to let her know I was there, before I turned for the door and left. It wasn't something I liked or wanted, but it was something I had to do.

**  
**

**Chapter 13**

**Where the Heart is**

**VPOV**

The moment the door closed, the room fell silent. But it wasn't just silence. It was heavy, and painful. Hell, it was deafening. It pressed on my chest with a force that had a sob escape my lips, despite the fact I didn't want to cry in front of Negan.

He'd seen me weak. He'd seen me broken. I didn't want to become that same girl he'd seen the first night we met. I was better than her. I was _stronger_ than her. But it was too late, he'd already heard me.

Sighing, he moved to stand in front of me. "Victoria..." He waited a moment before his hand gently grabbed my chin and lifted my face so I'd look at him. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not." I glared, trying my hardest not to cry. "You enjoy seeing other's break. You enjoy inflicting pain."

"Yes, I do." His honesty surprised me, leaving me speechless, giving him an opportunity to go on. "I enjoy hurting those who deserve it."

"So, I deserve this?"

"No." He shook his head. "That's why I'm sorry. I truly am."

He was. I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his grip and hear it in his words. There was doubt in my mind, gut and heart. Anyone with half a brain could tell, in this instance, he was being genuine. He meant every word. He was sorry.

But it wasn't good enough.

"You made my brother sing you a song because he killed two of your men." I continued to glare at him. "You play some pretty fucked up games, Negan."

"Well, I can't kill him," he countered, still being very serious.

Glaring, I pulled my chin from his grasp. "I don't believe, for one second, that you'll keep your word. I don't trust you, Negan. I know a day will come, and you'll kill him. You'll kill us all."

He took a step closer, his eyes hardening. "Not if I don't have to. I don't want to kill any of you, Victoria. I'd honestly rather there be no more death." He was telling the truth there as well. I could tell.

"Then let us go."

"No."

"It's not fair!" I exclaimed out of frustration and irritation.

He stepped closer again, a glare of his own furrowing on his brow now. "What's not fair is having thirty of my people killed. What's not fair is waiting days before finding out they're all dead. What's not fair is losing all those people who actually meant something to myself and others. What's not fair is the fact that you lost _two_ of your people, and we lost _thirty_. Not five, not ten, not twenty. _Thirty_."

I suddenly felt a little guilty. I mean, sure he'd killed Glenn and Abraham right in front of us... but we'd killed a lot more of his people. Which made me wonder... what's worse, watching a loved one die or not knowing they were gone?

"Look, I'm sorry I upset you and your brother. I didn't mean things to get so out of hand. I just... it's easy to forget-"

"He's a kid," I cut him off. "Yeah, you already said that."

He shook his head. "No, it's easy to forget how fragile you can be," he corrected.

"You don't know me, Negan."

"I've seen you at your weakest, and I've seen you when you're strong... though I'm sure you've still held back on us there." He finally grinned.

Rolling my eyes, I stepped away from him, turning away slightly. Silence fell over us one last time, as I refused to look up at him. I hated how easy it was for us to fall into a scene like this. Both of us standing close, nothing being said. There was supposed to be violence, and action. I was supposed to want to kill him...

_Did I want to kill him? I wanted him dead, yes. But did I want to kill him?_

Letting out a sigh, Negan turned and headed for the door. "Come on, Sweetheart. It should be ready."

I looked up at him then. "What should be ready?"

"The iron," he answered as he opened the door.

 

...

 

Carl and I walked behind Negan as he moved across the walkway overlooking an open space in the factory where a large number of people were gathered. Lifting Lucille, Negan hit her against the railing, getting the attention of everyone. Some looked up at him, some held their gaze in from of them out of fear, but now matter where they looked, each and every person moved.

The majority of them, the workers, they dropped to their knees. The Saviours and wives though, they stayed standing, simply bowing their head out of respect.

Once everyone stopped moving, Negan turned to Carl and me, offering Lucille. "Hold that for me." He hadn't said it to anyone in particular.

I went to reach for her, not wanting Carl to have to hold the bat that had bashed in the heads of two friends- two family members. But at the same time, he reached forward, taking her from Negan's grasp.

Giving my brother a look, I tried to let him know he didn't have to do this. Yet, he simply gave me a look back, letting me know he didn't want me to have to hold her either... I guess we were protecting each other now.

Negan didn't seem to care though or notice the silent messages being passed beside him. He simply turned to his people to address them. "You know the deal. What's about to happen is gonna be hard to watch," he sighed. "I don't want to do it. I wish I could just ignore the rules and let it slide, but I can't. Why?

"The rules keep us alive," everyone answered at the same time.

"That. Is. Right." Negan gave a short nod as he continued to walk, moving for the stairs. "We survive. We provide security to others. We bring civilisation back to this world. We are the Saviours," he told them, half way down the stairs now. "But we can't do that without rules. Rules are what make it all work. I know it's not easy. But there's always work. There is always a cost." A look of anger fell on his face. "Here, if you try to skirt it, if you try to cut that corner!" He took a breath before chuckling lightly. "Then it is the iron for you. On your feet."

Everyone did as he said, getting up.

Walking the rest of the way down the stairs, Negan didn't even look back at Carl and I once. He knew we would follow. He knew there was no need to make sure we were doing what he wanted.

Moving through a path in the crowd, I found my eyes land on one of Negan's wives. It was the brunette he'd been talking to at the bar...

Our eyes locked for a moment, a mixture of feelings passed through me as we continued to look at each other. I wondered who she was and what her deal was. I wondered if she actually wanted to be Negan's wife. Did she have a choice? Was there a reason? She'd talked back to him a little... but she'd kissed him back as well...

I looked away once I passed her, still following Negan.

In the middle of the crowd was a guy, not much older than myself. He was bound to a chair and visibly shaking with fear. I had no idea what was going to happen, but I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Wait here," Negan told Carl and I before moving over to Dwight- who stood near a large furnace.

As I stopped, I looked away from the bound guy, only to have my eyes lock on to Daryl's.

The light touch we'd shared earlier hadn't been enough. If anything, it only increased my need for him. I missed him so much, and all I wanted was to take him home and never let him go. I never wanted to leave his side ever again.

Time had proven to us once more that we had to stay together. When we were apart, shit got bad... fast. Just look at where we were now.

"D," Negan chucked lightly catching my attention.

I turned to him just as he pulled on some gloves and Dwight moved to the open fire. My eyes watched Dwight as he grabbed a metal rod and reached into the flames, pulling out a red-hot iron. The metal glowed. I couldn't tear my eyes from the glowing surface. It was beautiful if you really looked at it. The danger added to its beauty, too. At least that's what I thought.

Negan- with his now properly protected and gloved hands- took the iron from Dwight before he turned and moved to the guy in the chair. "Mark I'm sorry. But it is what it is," was all he said before he stepped forward and pressed the iron to Mark's face.

The screams that erupted from Mark were like nothing I'd ever heard. The sound of skin sizzling against the hot metal was sickening. The smell... oh, God the smell was awful. I thought the smell of walkers was bad, but this was something else...

Yet I couldn't tear my eyes away. I couldn't turn from the scene unfolding before me as Negan continued to hold the iron against Mark's face until the bound man passed out. When Negan pulled the iron away, Mark's skin followed like melted cheese.

 _I'm never eating cheese again_.

Negan chuckled lightly, "Ah, that wasn't so bad, now, was it?" He shrugged as he turned to hand the iron back to Dwight before he turned back to Mark. "Jesus. He pissed himself." Shaking his head, he moved towards Daryl.

I watched Negan's every step, his every move. Tensing, I stayed where I stood despite the fact I wanted to move to Daryl. After Negan threatened Daryl earlier, I trusted him even less when it came to my husband.

Keeping his eyes locked on mine, Negan spoke to Daryl, "Clean that up." He grinned, knowing exactly what he was doing to Daryl and me. Stepping back, he looked to a group of his people. "Doc, I'm all done. Do your thing."

A man emerged from the crowd, dressed in a white lab coat, carrying a black bag. As he walked, I couldn't help but see something in his face as if he were familiar or something...

"Well, the pussy passed out." Negan's voice rang through the room as he addressed the crowd again. "But it's settled we're square. Everything is cool. Let Mark's face be a daily reminder to him and to everyone else that the rules matter. I hope that we all learned something today, because I don't ever want to have to do that again."

I watched him with an unreadable expression on my face, because honestly, I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. I didn't know what this Mark guy did, but whatever it was I really hoped it was bad. I swear if Negan did this because the guy stole some food, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to look at him again.

Negan's eyes locked on to mine as he moved towards me. "Some crazy shit, huh?" he asked, standing so close we were almost pressed together.

My eyes locked on to Daryl's as he watched the two of us and moped at the same time. "You're sick, Negan," I said with no fear in my voice.

He simply chuckled before stepping back. "Come on. Let's go figure out what to do with the two of you." He nodded before turning to leave, knowing Carl and I would follow once again.

**CPOV**

We were back in Negan's room, back in our seats. Vickie and I were silent as we waited. Negan sat across from us, doing some paper work. I was bored, and I felt weird with my eye exposed. Which is why I was the one to break the silence.

"Can I wrap up my face now?"

"No, you absolutely cannot," Negan answered in an instant.

"Why the hell not?!" I snapped.

"Carl," Vickie warned.

Negan just chuckled. "Look at this badass." He grinned. "You can't because I'm not done with you. And I like looking at your disgusting, rad-ass, badass eye, so it's staying out." When I just glared at him, he put the paper work down. "What? You got something to say?"

"Why haven't you killed me? Or Vickie? Or my dad? Or Daryl?"

"Victoria amuses me. And I actually like her company." He shrugged. "Daryl is gonna make a good soldier for me," he noted as if he thought that was really going to happen. "You see, he thinks he's holding it together but you saw it." Grinning again, he went on, "Your dad? He's already getting me great stuff. You, on the other hand..." His eyes flicked towards Vickie for a second before he continued, "Well, we shall see. It's more productive to break you. More fun, too. You thinking that's stupid?"

"I'm thinking we're different."

"Mm." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You're a smart kid. What do you think I should do? You know I can't let you go. So, do I kill you? Iron your face? Chop off your arm? Tell me. What do you think?"

I got on my feet and stepped up to him, tired of this game. "I think you should jump out the window to save me the trouble of killing you."

Vickie was up in an instant. "Carl!"

"No, no. It's fine, Sweetheart. It's fine," Negan chuckled. "Now, there is the kid that impressed the hell out of me."

Shaking my head, I looked down at him as my patience came to an end. "I think you're not saying what you're gonna do to me because you're not going to do anything. If you knew us, if you knew anything, you _would_ kill us. But you can't." I nodded towards Vickie. "You think she's amusing. She's killed more people than anyone else in our group."

Okay so I wasn't a hundred percent sure about that, but if I was wrong, I wouldn't be too far off. Vickie had killed a lot of people. I knew if anyone could kill him, it would be her. If anyone had a reason to, it would be her. If anyone wanted to, it would be her. He thought she was the weak girl from that first night we saw him, but she was so much more than that. He shouldn't underestimate her. That never goes down well.

"That's it," she sighed, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from Negan. "Go wait outside."

"No." I glared at her over my shoulder. "I'm not leaving you with this asshole again."

Negan continued to grin. "Let him stay, Sweetheart."

Vickie hesitated before dropping her hand. Both of us shared a look, neither of us happy at the moment. Then we turned to Negan, seeing him watching us.

He shook his head, looking to me. "Maybe you're right, Carl. Maybe I can't kill any of you." He shrugged before getting to his feet. "Come on. Let's go for a ride."

Vickie and I just stood there, watching him for a moment, unsure what we should do. But we knew we didn't really have a choice. So, once again, we followed him.

**NPOV**

I helped Vickie into the truck before pulling myself up as well. I didn't usually drive, but seeing as the truck was a three-seater and I had two guests, that meant there wasn't any room for anyone else.

Starting the vehicle, I drove outside the gates and came to a stop as I looked out at the chained walkers. "Daryl!" I called and waited until he came to stand by my door. "You seem worried, so I'm taking them home."

"If you do anything to 'em-"

I cut him off with a yell, "Dwight! Daryl needs a time-out. Put him back in his box for a while," I ordered before Dwight dragged Daryl away. I flipped him off as he left before drawing my attention back to the wheel.

"You don't have to be such an ass," Vickie mumbled.

I grinned at her. "Oh, but I like it."

She simply rolled her eyes as she fell silent, and with nothing left to say I turned back to the road and drove ahead.

**DPOV**

I was sitting in my cell and all I could think about was Vic. Seeing her jump out of that truck earlier... it was one of the sexiest and scariest things I'd ever seen. Sure, seeing her here at the Sanctuary was scary, but she scared me as well- though I'd never tell her that.

I loved Vic. She was the only person I'd ever loved. I hardly liked myself, but I loved her. I knew I'd never love anyone else. I'd never give up on us either. The moment I got out of this hell hole, I was going to spend the rest of my life just being with Vic. I was done looking for people. I was done volunteering to do stuff for our group. If Vic wasn't there, I didn't care.

Being here, it was hard. Being away from everyone was hard. Negan and his people just poked at that wound. But I hadn't given up. I hadn't let go off everything I had and wanted.

Like a baby. I still wanted a baby. I still wanted to grow old with the people I cared about. I wanted to teach Aly everything I knew. I wanted to see Carl get his first girlfriend. I wanted to see Rick and Michonne get married. I wanted to see Carol, Morgan, Heath and Tara again. I wanted to go back to the life I'd had.

Man, I missed it. I didn't really know how much until I saw Vic and Carl.

The sound of footsteps had me pause my thoughts as I leaned closer to the door and listened out.

After a second or two, a sheet of paper was pushed under the gap of the door. I reached for it and turned it over, seen two words written down. _Go now_. On the back was a key and a match.

I had no idea if this was another trick. I didn't even know who the message was from. But I didn't care. I was getting the hell out of here and back to my life.

**VPOV**

Negan, Carl and myself were walking down the road, heading home. We were back in Alexandria.

Honestly, the last time I left this place I thought I'd never be coming back- at least not for a while. But now, as we stood in front of the house my family and I had called home since we got to the community, I was glad I had the chance to give everyone a proper good bye.

But that didn't make the next steps any easier.

As Negan and Carl stepped off the road and on to the footpath, moving for the porch steps, I came to a complete stop. It was Carl who noticed first.

He turned to me, a confused and concerned look in his eyes. "Vickie?" He moved towards me again. "Vickie, you okay?"

I shook my head, looking at the house. "I can't."

"You can't what?" Negan asked, now standing next to Carl, the two of them watching me.

Carl glared at him. "She hasn't stepped foot in the house since we met you."

Understanding dawned on Negan's face in an instant. "Kid, go wait on the porch." He didn't give Carl a single glance. He just seemed to know my brother would go.

Carl did as he was told, but he'd hesitated at first. I knew the idea of leaving me with Negan again was not something he wanted to do, but he had no choice.

Once he was gone, Negan stepped closer to me. He was in my space- he always seemed to be in my space- but this time, he wasn't intimidating. "It's because of the friends you lost, right?" Sighing, Negan shook his head, "I really am sorry, Victoria."

I looked up and met his eyes then. I didn't glare and he didn't grin. We just looked at each other. There was no hate between us. No anger. He felt bad for me, and I simply felt bad. That's all there was.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked out of nowhere, needing to know. I knew he was sorry, I just didn't know why.

He was taken aback, his eyes going wide at the question. It took a moment for him to answer, and what I got was pretty underwhelming. It was obvious that he hadn't thought of why he felt the way he did. He just knew that's how he felt.

"I'm just sorry."

That's all I was getting. I knew that. So I didn't bother pressing.

"I can't go in there when I know they'll never be in there again. Every time I've lost someone, we've eventually had to move on. Right now I'm surviving on the fact that I haven't had to move forward. I'm trying to keep part of myself locked in that night, so I never have to say goodbye."

It was the truth- one I hadn't even admitted to myself yet. It's why I'd been camping in the RV. I didn't want to let go yet.

"Fuck." Negan brought his hand up to cup my face. "What made you like this? What have you been through?" His thumb stroked my cheek softly, his eyes searching mine.

"A lot," I answered flatly. "A lot more than you'll ever understand."

"Maybe one day you'll tell me." He shrugged, offering a soft smile as he lowered his hand.

See, this is one of the things that pissed me off about Negan.

He was such an asshole. He bashed people's heads in and ironed their faces. He had a harem of wives and a cult-like following of people he controlled so closely and strongly it was insane. He was everything I hated. Yet, when it was just the two of us, like this... he was a completely different man.

The first night I met him he took me in the RV and cleaned my cut. He wiped away my tears. He talked to me like I was a person, not just something he could use like a tool or toy. When he'd come to Alexandria that first day, when I'd sat with him outside of Spencer's place, we'd talked easily. Today, he'd cared that he'd hurt my feelings and that I was upset. It was like he'd flipped a switch.

It was a mental screw over. He couldn't stop messing with my mind, and I wasn't even sure if he noticed he was doing it.

"Look, I know you don't want to go in there, but you have to." Before I could protest, he went on, "Not because I'm telling you to. No one can _make_ you go in there. The reason you have to, is because you have to move on. Everyone has to move on."

I looked over his shoulder, setting my eyes on my home. I remembered the first time I walked through the yellow door. I'd been with Aly, Glenn and Maggie. That evening I'd sat on the porch with Daryl as he gutted an opossum. Later I'd sat with Rosita and Abraham as the three of us kept watch and the rest of our family slept.

They say, 'home is where the heart is'. My heart lies with my family. Right now, we were scattered all over the place. Maggie and Sasha were at Hilltop. Tara and Heath were out scavenging. Carol and Morgan were still missing. Daryl was being kept at the Sanctuary. So, if I really thought about it, the house standing in front of me, was just that. Just a house.

Going in there wouldn't be me giving in or giving up. I wouldn't be saying goodbye to the people we'd lost, or to the people elsewhere. I'd simply be entering a building. Putting my self between four walls and a roof. It wasn't goodbye. Not when they were still in my heart.

Taking a deep breath, I gave a short nod. "Okay."

A wide grin spread on Negan's face as he turned to face the house and move to stand next to me. "Shall we then?" He offered me his arm.

I took it, still hating the guy but appreciating the fact he was kinda there for me when I needed someone- beggars can't be choosers, right?

Meeting Carl at the steps, I gave a short nod to let him know I was okay before Negan and I continued up the stairs and towards the door, only now with Carl following. When we reached the yellow painted wooden door, Negan used Lucille to knock on it.

The door flung open, revealing a smiling Aly, who's smile fell the instant she saw Negan.

"Aly, who is-" Olivia cut herself short when she walked around from the living room and saw Negan standing on the porch with Carl and me.

Negan let go of my arm as he moved to walk into the house, smiling down at Aly. "Well, hello there darlin'." He ruffled her hair with his free hand as he continued past her.

Aly glared up at him, wanting to bite at him, to snap and yell and scream... but she was- surprisingly- holding back. Aly was a sweet girl, but over time she'd learnt how to act and behave from watching those closest to her... including, my dad, Daryl and myself. Let's face it, none of us had good impulse control or anger management when times were dire.

Carl stepped in next, stopping by Olivia.

She looked to him with worry clearly written in her eyes. "Carl, where's-"

"Enid's fine," he assured her before moving further into the house as Negan stood in the dining room waiting.

I grabbed Aly and lifted her into my arms and onto my hip as I looked to Olivia. "Where is she?" I asked, my voice low.

She knew exactly who I was talking about as she pointed to the roof. " _Bedroom,_ " she mouthed.

I nodded before turning to follow Carl.

"Great, great, great, great, great!" Negan grinned, looking to Olivia. "Where's Rick?"

"Uh, I- I'm just-" she stuttered.

Negan shook his head. "Don't care," he sang. "Where's Rick?"

Collecting herself, Olivia answered properly this time, "Um, out scavenging for you."

Negan's grin widened. "Cool. I'll wait." He shrugged.

Olivia hesitated before speaking, "Um... he went out pretty far. They might not be back today," she explained, voice shaking. "We're running really low on everything. We're practically starving here."

Negan took a moment as he let her words sink in, before he spoke, "Starving? You? By 'practically', you mean not really."

Olivia started crying in an instant.

Aly's jaw dropped as she glared at Negan. "Don't be mean to Olivia."

"Okay, yeah this isn't going to work." I set Aly on the ground. "Go to your room. Dini's in there, right?" She gave me a short nod as an answer. "Okay, well you go up there until I come get you, okay?" She gave Negan one last glare before she nodded to me again and walked off. Once she was gone, it was my turn to glare at Negan. "Seriously?"

I didn't understand how he could go from being psychotic, to nice, to an asshole. This guy had some serious boarder line personality issues.

Chuckling, he shook his head. "You people seriously don't have a sense of humour," he sighed as he turned his attention back to Olivia. "Excuse me. What's your name again?"

"Olivia," she answered. Even through her crying I could tell it annoyed her that he'd forgotten who she was already.

Negan didn't notice or care though as he just went on, "Right. Olivia." He stepped up to her, resting a hand on her arm. She tensed and turned to him listening as he continued, "I am sorry for having been so rude to you just now. And it looks like I'm gonna be here for a while, awaiting your fearless leader's return. And if you'd like, I think it would be enjoyable to screw your brains out. I mean, if, you know, you're agreeable to it."

Suddenly, Olivia raised her hand and slapped him right across the cheek.

His words had made my jaw drop, but her actions made me grin.

"Thank you, Olivia." I smiled, turning to her. "Why don't you go get some lemonade? I know we shouldn't be wasting any resources, but I'm sure Negan doesn't care about that." I continued to smile as I watched Negan shake off the slap.

"What about-"

I shook my head, cutting her off, "I've got it." I knew she was worried about Judith- and Aly, too- but I could handle it.

"Okay." Not wanting to stick around any longer, Olivia dashed for the door and left.

Negan had been watching me the whole time. He could see I was pleased she'd slapped him, and that it had both amused and impressed me. It was probably the best thing I'd seen all day. Someone like Olivia slapping someone like Negan. God, that was good.

Stepping forward, Negan shook his head. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

It was my turn to grin. "More than you'll ever know."

A grin spread on Negan's face as well, as if he was amused that I was amused, which pissed me off. Giving me a quick wink, he turned to Carl. "All right! Take me on the grand tour."

 

...

 

Carl and I followed Negan around the house as he looked around. First, he played with the tap in the kitchen, turning the water on and off. Then he'd played with the lights in the living room. He sat at the dining room table, and then checked out the laundry and garage.

When we went upstairs we walked into dad and Michonne's room, looking around, but walking out after a minute or two. In Carl's room, he played with the dart board, grinning every time he got a bullseye- which was every throw. He took his boots and socks off, letting his feet melt into the carpet, and went to the bathroom to check out the water in there too.

He moved to mine and Daryl's room next, coming to a stop in the doorway. "Well, well. What do we have here?"

I followed him once he walked into the room, my eyes falling on the bed where there was a mattress...

Most of the mattresses had been taken, but not all of them. I had assumed mine had either been burnt with the rest- Michonne told me she'd found the mattresses in a burning pile- or someone else had taken it for themselves.

"So who's the lucky one that didn't get their mattress taken?" he asked, taking a seat on my side of the bed.

"This is... this is my room," I answered a little nervously.

Negan's eyes snapped to mine. "Really?"

"Ah, yeah." I nodded.

Negan was off the bed in an instant, moving over to the dresser. "So this is where Victoria lies her pretty head."

"Daryl, too," Carl commented.

I turned to my brother shocked. The was he said it, so snarky and sassy, like he wanted to get a reaction, it worried me. But he simply grinned, giving me a shrug as if he knew and didn't care that his words would piss Negan off.

"I'm not stupid, kid. If they're married, they're screwing. At least that's how it's supposed to go," Negan noted as he started opening the drawers and looking through them.

I was beyond caring about him seeing my underwear, and he didn't seem to care either. Or well, he did pause and grin for a second, but left everything where it was and didn't say anything. I was hoping it was for Carl's sake. When he opened the last drawer, though, I was a little anxious, hoping he'd just skip right pass it.

But he didn't. Of course he didn't. Instead, he came to a stop before pulling out a shoe box.

I stepped forward then. "That's personal."

He shook his head. "Nothing is personal anymore, Sweetheart," he argued before opening the box.

It was filled with things I held close to my heart. Photos of loved ones. The necklace mum used to wear with her wedding ring- I'd stopped wearing it after things started getting more and more violent, but I'd always carried it with me. Deanna's letter was in there. The oldest hair brush I had. A lock of Aly's hair from when Jessie had given her a haircut. An empty packet of chocolate chips. One of Houdini's old tennis balls. Just a few nick knacks to remind me of happier times.

Negan didn't say anything as he placed the lid back on the box and put it away. He didn't even look at me as he turned and moved to the door, walking out. He was silent, face unreadable as he continued down the hall, coming to the last room.

"How about this one?" he asked.

Both Carl and I froze. Judith and Aly shared that room...

Carl was the first to speak. "Oh, i-it's just a water heater-"

"Are you serious, kid?" Negan shook his head, not buying it. "Come on." He gestured for us to follow before he opened the door and came to a stop. "Oh-ho, my." He offered Lucille to Carl as he walked into the room. Once Carl held her, Negan moved closer to Judith. "Look at this little angel."

Houdini jumped off Aly's bed in an instant, putting himself between Negan and my baby sister. The dog growled lowly, snarling, giving Negan his first and final warning. Houdini didn't know Negan, and he could probably feel the tension wafting from Carl and myself. He could read the room. He knew not to trust Negan, which was enough to switch on his guard dog senses and instincts.

Negan froze. "Victoria, Sweetheart, can you-"

I cut him off suddenly, "I need to know you won't hurt her."

He turned to frown at me, as if he thought I was insane. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." I gave a curt nod. I knew he wouldn't hurt her, but I needed to hear it. I needed the words to be spoken, so it would feel like they were set in stone.

Shaking his head, clearly not amused with the fact I was making him say it, Negan spoke, "She's a fucking baby, for crying out loud. I'm not gonna hurt a goddamn baby. What, do you think I'm a monster or something?"

"Yes," Aly answered from her spot on her bed where she'd been playing.

I gave her a warning look before I clicked my fingers at the dog. "Houdini, here." I pointed to my my. Doing as I said, he moved to sit next to me, still growling. "Enough." With that single word, the dog fell silent.

"Impressive." Negan nodded, impressed, before turning back to Judith.

I held my breath as he lifted my sister out of her bed and into his arms. Carl tensed next to me, as did Houdini. Even Aly was watching carefully. We were all on edge, seeing this man who had already brought hell to our home, hold my baby sister in the same hands he'd used to kill countless people.

_Yeah, dad is so not gonna like this..._

 

...

 

I'd told Carl to stay in the house with Houdini. He hadn't been too happy about it, but hadn't argued either. I sat in a rocking chair with Aly in my lap as we both looked over at Negan as he sat on a rocking chair to my right, with Judith on his lap, who he was rocking slowly.

Watching Negan be so gentle, it messed with my head yet again. I just couldn't figure the guy out. Seeing him sitting there, with Judith's head resting on his chest as he hummed to her. God, I hated how it scared me and warmed my heart at the same time.

_What the hell is going on with my goddamn hormones?_

"Oh, this little girl is precious." Negan smiled. He didn't grin. Nope, he smiled.

Movement caught my attention as one of the Alexandrian's walked past the house.

Negan gave them a nod, his smile turning to a grin. _There it is_. "Hey, neighbour." He waved. "Why don't you come by later? We might grill out," he chuckled. The guy just kept walking. Negan didn't seem to care though. "Oh, I like it here. Mm-hmm. I might just have to stay here."

"No," Aly snapped.

"Don't be rude," I warned her.

She pulled back to frown at me. "He killed Glenn and Abraham! He took daddy! He's a Bad Man. Why aren't you kicking him out? You should be kicking him out. Make him leave!"

"Aly, darlin'," Negan sighed, "don't talk to your mum like that."

She turned to glare at him. "Don't tell me what to do. I don't like you."

"That's it." I placed her on the ground. "Inside. Now."

"But, mum..." she whined.

I just shook my head, pointing to the door. "No. Get inside. Now." When she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted I darkened my voice a little more. "Do not make me repeat myself, Alyssa."

She let out a huff before she walked off and headed inside.

Negan watched her until she disappeared before he turned his attention back to me. "I don't understand you. One moment you're a badass. Then you're a smart mouthed pain in my ass. And then you're this perfectly balanced mother who's tough and loving." He shook his head. "I just can't keep up." He cracked a grin.

I almost laughed. _Almost_. I mean, I was easy to understand compared to him.

Shifting Judith on his lap, he looked down at her as he rocked her on his knee. "You know, I was thinking about what Carl said earlier. Maybe it is stupid keeping your dad alive. I mean, why am I trying so hard? Maybe I should just bury him down in one of those flower beds. Huh?" He chuckled, still looking at my sister. "And then I could just settle into the suburbs. What do you think about that?" He smiled at her, leaning forward to place a kiss on her nose.

"I think you're stupid if you think that would ever work. I think you wouldn't last a week living here. I think the moment you even try to kill my dad, all my people will turn on you. But what I really think, is that you enjoy pissing me off."

"Got me there." He grinned, looking to me again. "It turns me on when you get angry." He winked.

"If you weren't holding my sister, I'd slap you right now."

"I can go put her down if you want," he offered, grin still in place. "I mean, the idea of you getting rough with me is just one other things I like to fantasise about."

I rolled my eyes. "You have six wives. You don't need to fantasise. You're getting enough action."

"Are you?"

"You took my husband, remember?"

"Still. Girls got needs. Surely she can figure out how to deal with them herself." He lifted a hand and wiggled his fingers suggestively.

Looking away I turned my attention to the view ahead of me. "I'd rather not talk about this with you. And certainly not in front of my sister."

"Oh, come on, Victoria." He shifted, turning so he faced me a little more. "We're friends. We can talk about anything."

"We're not friends, Negan," I told him, getting to my feet and reaching for Judith. "You killed my actual friends. Or did you forget that, too?" I glared at him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I think Judith needs a change," I noted before walking off, heading back inside, needing to get away from him, even if only for a moment.

_Dad better get back soon..._

**  
**

**Chapter 14**

**Close Shave**

**RPOV**

Aaron and I had been out scavenging for a couple of days now. I new we were running out of time. Negan would be back at Alexandria any day now. He could be back already. But we had nothing to show for our time out here. It was like there was nothing left.

We'd found a place that at least looked hopeful. There'd been a sign on the gate of the property. It was a warning. But Aaron and I had no choice. We couldn't go back empty handed, and we couldn't go out any further- the truck was almost running on empty.

So, we'd jumped the gate and walked through the bushes, trying to stay hidden as we wandered closer to the middle of the property, looking for a house of some kind of building.

We didn't see anything at first. Not even a single walker. But we eventually came across a truck that looked like it hadn't been touched in years. Next to the truck was another sign, only this one was bigger. A lot bigger.

Aaron and I stepped out of the bushes and into the opening, still watching our surroundings as we neared the sign and read its message.

_My name is Leslie William Stanton and I am armed with a Ruger 10/22 (crack shot: can hit targets 70 yds+), ARS 157, (I shit you not!), AK-47, grenades (try me) and several handguns and rifles of antiquity (collector/enthusiast). You are not smart to have not listened to the first sign. You have been warned. I will not hesitate to protect my home, my food, my supplies, my ammo. The only way that you have possibly read this far without being shot is if I am dead. Have at it, assholes._

"This guy he's armed. Has food, supplies, ammo," I noted.

Aaron stood beside me, reading part of the sign aloud, "' _The only way that you have possibly read this far without being shot is that I am dead_ '."

I turned to him, the two of us sharing a look before we moved forward. We were still being careful, but our chances were looking better now. If the guy was dead and he really did have all the supplies he stated, we'd hit the jackpot.

As we rounded the sign and some trees, we came to a stop.

In front of us was a lake. In the middle of the lake was a boat house. Surrounding that boat house? Walkers. A large number of walkers in fact. All of them floating about in the water, like guard dogs.

"Looks like he protected his supplies," Aaron commented.

I shrugged, taking in the situation. "Looks like they're still protected."

"Today and only today, right?"

He was right. We had today and only today. If we were going to bring anything home, we had to get it now. The boat house was our best option. We had no other choice.

I nodded, sighing, "Yeah."

_Today and only today..._

**MPOV**

I stood on guard, looking out at the open space between the Hilltop walls and the tree line just ahead. I'd spent the morning by Glenn's grave, needing to be with him. But now here I was, working away. Sasha didn't want me to. She wanted me resting. But I couldn't sit and do nothing. If I did nothing, my mind wandered and right now I could afford to think about anything because all I could think about was Glenn, Abraham, my baby and my scattered family.

Vickie hadn't come back to the trailer yesterday. Sasha, Enid and I had dinner and then we'd waited. But she never showed up. I offered to go look for Jesus, to see if he knew where she went, but Sasha told me he was getting ready to go on a run today. I knew better than to distract him, so I'd just continued to wait. Yet she still never showed up.

I guess she'd left. Gone back home to Alexandria. Goodbyes were never easy, so maybe she'd just popped out so she didn't have to go through the farewells and hugs.

At least that's what I hoped for. Vickie... She wasn't stable after losing people she loved. I hate to admit it, but she could become reckless. She'd shut down, become numb and just move aimlessly. Add the hate we all felt for the Saviours, and the revenge we wanted, I was afraid she might do something stupid.

Don't get me wrong, Vickie is smart. She's strong, fast, smart, caring. She's all the things a leader should be, which is why Deanna and I had wanted her to join us. But with all the good, came all the bad. Vickie couldn't handle losing people. She never could. I doubt she ever would.

She was my best friend, practically my sister. I knew her better than I knew myself sometimes. I cared about her, and I worried about her. I always would.

"Maggie."

The sound of someone calling my name had me turn away from the walls as I looked down to see Gregory standing on the ground, an apple in his hand, looking up at me.

When he had my attention, he went on. "Uh… I know people are saying things... nice things about you, Victoria and Sasha, hmm?"

"They are?" I asked. I hadn't heard anything. But then again, I hadn't been spending a lot of time with people. I was either with Glenn, in the trailer or up her on watch.

He gave a short nod. "They are. About the other night about how they're thinking you saved the place." He shrugged. "Don't let it go to your head."

"Well, don't let it bother you. It seems like it bothers you," I noted.

When we just stood there for a moment longer, looking at each other without saying a word, I turned back around to keep watch again. There were plenty of other times he could come to me with this crap. I was clearly busy right now. It's not like he actually ever did much around here.

Just because he prances around, saying he owns the place and that he's the leader, does not make him a leader. He's a douche bag and an asshole. He's not a leader.

"What you doing up there?" he called to me once I'd turned.

Instead of answering I looked to him again, leaning on the railing facing him as I nodded to the apple in his hand. "You gonna eat that?"

"Yes," he answered as if that was obvious.

Eduardo- the guy I was on watch duty with- spoke up then, "Dude. You know she's pregnant."

Gregory gave me a look, as I gave him a slight smirk. He knew what I was doing. I was purposefully trying to piss him off. It was working as well.

Knowing he couldn't deny me the apple now, he threw it without a word.

I caught it effortlessly before turning my back to him once more, grinning as I sunk my teeth into the big, ripe, juicy apple. It was the best apple I'd ever had.

**VPOV**

I could not believe this...

After I'd put Judith to bed and told Aly to stay with Carl, Negan had come to find me again. He'd then requested the most bizarre thing I could ever imagine. He wanted me to help him shave.

So here I was, in the bathroom with Negan, standing by the counter as he pulled out the things he'd need to shave.

"I've never done this before," I told him. "You'd be better off doing it yourself." It was the truth.

But he didn't agree. "We need to talk, and I need to shave," he said simply.

I frowned, confused. "Talk?"

"Yep." Giving a sharp nod, he gestured to the counter. "Take a seat, Sweetheart. Let's get started."

Rolling my eyes, I sighed as I moved closer to the counter before lifting myself up to sit on the flat surface. I was planted right next to the sink- which Negan had filled about a third of the way with warm water.

Watching him I couldn't help but be shocked as he handed me the straight razor. The sharp, knife like, dangerous, straight razor...

"I could kill you with that," I noted, not taking it. "You should probably think twice before handing it over."

His grin made an appearance as he continued to offer me the object. "Vickie, Sweetheart, if I was worried you were going to kill me, I wouldn't be walking around your house without at least three of my people keeping an eye on you. There's probably nothing in this place you _can't_ use to kill me."

"I don't think I could kill you with a shoe."

Chuckling, he shook his head. "I wouldn't underestimate yourself if I were you. You've proven to be more than capable, time and time again," was all he said before he grabbed my hand and placed the straight razor in my palm. "Now, shall we?"

Knowing I didn't have much of a choice here, I gave a short and defeated nod before getting to work.

Negan was very patient as he told me exactly what to do. He'd put shaving cream on and wrapped a hand around mine as he helped me with the first few strokes. But before long I pretty much knew what I was doing, so he let me do it by myself.

Standing there, watching me carefully, Negan didn't let his grin slip once as he stood between my legs and I sat on the edge of the bench.

I was too focused to care really. Though he knew I wouldn't kill him, I didn't think he'd appreciate me cutting him- even if it was just a nick. So I kept all my attention on the task at hand, watching my movements just as carefully as he was watching me.

As I turned slightly to clean the razor, he chose that time to finally speak.

"So... have you made your mind up?"

"About what?" I asked, turning to look at him again.

"Are you coming back with me?"

"I thought that was pretty obvious, Negan." I continued to shave him again as I went on, "You have Daryl. You won't be giving him up anytime soon unless there's some kind of a trade. You told me that trade had to be me. So, yeah. I'm going back with you." I shrugged, moving to clean the blade again.

"Good." He looked at me smugly, his grin not as prominent at the moment. "There's just one problem though."

Sighing, I lowered the straight razor as I looked up at him. "What?"

"I'm guessing you haven't told anyone about this little plan of yours. So when they do find out, no one's going to be happy about that," he noted. "Is keeping you really worth the risk? I'm sure Rick won't be too please. Or your boarder-line psychotic brother. Let's not forget that husband of yours, and the rest of your friends."

He had a point there. But it didn't matter.

"It's my life and my choice. _I_ do whatever _I_ want. They don't have a say in the matter."

Chuckling, Negan shook his head as he lifted his hand to cup my cheek. "God you are something." He searched my eyes for a moment before letting his hand drop as he spoke again. "If you stay, you follow my rules and do as I say."

"I already do. It's a part of our other deal," I reminded him.

"Yes, but will you do _anything_ and _everything_ I say?"

"Try me." I shrugged.

I would do whatever it took to protect my family. I'd killed for them before. I'd let a guy have his way with me. I was pretty sure Negan wouldn't make me do anything worse than that.

"Kiss me."

My jaw dropped. "What?"

His grin returned. "You heard me."

The request had me on edge, but I couldn't let him see that. I didn't want him thinking he could get under my skin so easily.

"What are we, twelve? Seriously, a kiss?" I asked with a little bit of snark, trying to cover the uneasy feeling in my gut. "What could a kiss prove? It's just a kiss."

"If it's just a kiss then it should be easy for you." His grin played on his lips, teasing, as if he knew how I actually felt…

There's a difference between letting a man rape you in order to save you friends, and letting a man kiss you to save your husband.

A kiss is intimate. Sex is too, but a kiss? Then there's the fact that he's not taking this from me. He's not forcing it. He's not using me for himself. He is giving me the choice, the control, the power.

If I went through with this it wouldn't be like when I turned around and let O'Donnell take what he wanted from me. If I did this, I would be kissing Negan just as much as he'd be kissing me…

Shifting on the spot, I tried to regain my confidence and strength. "I was under the impression you weren't into chicks that aren't into you."

"I'm not. But even though you hate me, you still want me. I can see it. I can _feel_ it. We both know it." His grin widened. "So, if you're really willing to do whatever it takes, then kiss-"

Grabbing the back of his neck with my free hand, I pushed myself forward and pressed my lips against his, shutting him up.

Negan took control in an instant, surprising me once more as he slowed the kiss down and softened it until our lips were simply sharing light brushes against each other. It was one of the most sensual kisses I'd ever had that wasn't hot and heavy.

His lips were soft and he knew exactly what to do with them as he continued to press them against mine. One of his hands gripped my waist as the other came up to run through and grab my hair, as he held me in place. But none of his actions were rough or forceful. If anything, the shock of his softness was keeping me in place.

I reached over and let the straight razor fall into the sink as my mind clouded over and my senses drowned in Negan. Nothing made sense, or even existed, outside this kiss.

Surprising me once more, Negan gradually pulled away. My eyes slowly opened as I looked up to meet his, seeing that famous grin sitting in place.

"Now _that_ was something else." His eyes searched my face as his hand came out from my hair and moved to wipe away some shaving cream from my cheek.

I felt horrible and wonderful all at once.

Betraying my people by making yet _another_ deal with Negan was bad enough, but to kiss him as well? I might as well stab them all in the back with actual knives while I'm at it. Not only that, but I had just cheated on Daryl. Once again, I was giving another man parts of me that were for Daryl and Daryl alone. It may have only been a kiss, but Eve only took a single bite from the apple and look at all the shit she went through...

Then there was that part of me I didn't understand. That part that was attracted to Negan despite all the crap he'd done to me, my family, my friends, my people, and an unknown number of strangers. That part of me wanted to pull him back to my lips and get lost once more. That part of me that didn't want to feel anything, and relished in the drowning sensations Negan's lips had caused, which had washed away everything else.

 _I am a horrible person_...

Looking away from me, Negan grabbed the straight razor and turned to the mirror as he began to shave the rest of his face himself.

Watching him I couldn't help but look at the comparisons to his face from before, to his now almost cleanly shaven face. He looked a little younger. A little crazier and a little less dangerous. He still looked good though. I doubt anything would change that.

When he was done, he turned to me as he wiped his face with a hand towel, before revealing his new, cleanly shaven face. "What'd you think? You like it?"

"I think you look better with the hair." I shrugged, trying to act like I didn't care.

My words made him grin. "Do you? Hmm..." Stepping closer to me again, he raised his hand to rub his face where hair used to sit. "Maybe I'll grow it back and keep it then? If you like it so much."

Rolling my eyes, I pushed him away slightly as I got off the counter. "Don't flatter yourself, Negan. I still hate you."

Suddenly he leaned in closer as he whispered in my ear, "No, you don't. But don't worry. It'll be our little secret."

Shuddering from the feeling of his breath on my skin, I tried my best to fight the heat growing inside me as I turned to the counter and began to clean up.

My time in the bathroom had taught me a few things. One, now I could shave a man's face. Two, Negan was pretty sure I wasn't going to kill him anytime soon, and I was beginning to wonder if he was right. Three, being in a room with Negan was dangerous territory, which I never wanted to enter again.

**NPOV**

After we were done in the bathroom, I decided to head down to the kitchen where Carl, Vickie and I were going to cook up something to eat. It was probably around dinner time and I was hungry, so I didn't see any reason why I shouldn't help myself.

Standing by the stove as I stirred the tomato sauce for the spaghetti, I couldn't help but glance over at Vickie every now and then as she stood by the island bench with Carl, the two of them making some rolls.

I'd had Carl grab some aprons for the three of us, and now as I watched Vickie all I could think about was her wearing nothing but that Goddamn apron.

That kiss... _fuck_.

I had not expected her to grab me like that. I hadn't expected her to kiss me at all. Part of me was hoping she wouldn't, so I wouldn't have to give Daryl up so easily. But then there was the rest of me, and boy was that part pleased. It was even excited.

Once I'd taken control, Vickie had melted. She wouldn't have pulled away unless I did something to deepen the experience. Boy did I want to! I could have taken her right then and there. But she wouldn't have gone for it, so I didn't even try.

Though I knew the truth now. I'd had my suspicions, but I was one hundred percent certain that she wanted me. She might even like me a little. Just a little though. But it was a start. It was enough.

Turning back to the stove, I got back to work. Grabbing the wooden spoon out of the pot, I tested the sauce and hummed at the taste. It was perfect.

"Damn, that tastes good. Mm!" I nodded, pleased with myself.

Vickie stopped what she was doing, looking over at me in the corner of her eye for a single moment before turning back to the task before her.

Grinning, I scooped up a bit of the sauce on the spoon before I turned and stepped up to her. "Want a taste?" I asked, offering the spoon.

When she just looked at me with an unimpressed look, I shrugged and turned to Carl. He didn't look to impressed either. In fact, he looked like he wanted to kill me right then and there. It amused me to think the kid had a bigger set of balls than his dad.

Chuckling, I shook my head before taking the spoon into my mouth. The sauce was- like I said- perfect. What made it even better was seeing Vickie in the corner of my eye, watching me.

Grinning to myself, I turned back to the stove, ignoring the siblings as I got back to stirring the sauce.

_Oh yeah. There is no denying it. Vickie wanted me._

**CPOV**

I was setting the table while Vickie grabbed the food to place it on the table. Olivia had come back with the lemonade and was making it in the kitchen now as she carried Judith at the same time. Negan had made himself comfortable at the table, placing himself an end seat.

As I placed a knife and fork down he watched me, clicking his tongue. Sighing, I turned my head to him.

"We're gonna need another setting." He smiled widely at me.

Rolling my eyes, sighing again, I turned to head back into the kitchen.

This guy was seriously starting to piss me off. More than I already was. Before I just wanted him dead because of what he'd done and what he could still do. Now I wanted him dead because he was annoying the crap out of me.

"Vickie, Sweetheart," Negan called, not even turning around to look at my sister as she stood in the kitchen.

"Yes, Negan," she answered, though I could hear the tone of annoyance in her voice.

He didn't even seem to care as he simply gave her an order. "Go get Aly. We wouldn't want her missing out on this perfect, family meal." His words were smothered by the sound of a cocky grin.

Vickie shook her head and mumbled something under her breath as she started for the stairs, doing as she was told.

I knew there was something going on with my sister. I knew there was a secret she and Negan shared. Hell, I was starting to think there was a few. The idea of Negan trying to get close to Vickie pissed me off even more. I was determined to keep her safe from the asshole. She may be the older sibling, but I was more than capable of taking care of her as well.

**RPOV**

Aaron and I moved closer to the edge of the lake, seeing a small boat by the edge of the water. There were dozens of holes in it, but it was all we had.

"All these bullet holes… this'll take on water quick," I noted as I looked out to the water, seeing another small boat drifting halfway between us and the boat house. "We can probably make it to the canoe." I shrugged. "Probably."

Aaron didn't seem to mind though. We both knew this was our only chance at bringing something home. So, he simply pulled his bag over his shoulder as he got ready to go.

Watching him, I couldn't help but start to speak, "If you want to stay back-"

He cut me off, "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." walking away, he moved to kick at the sign, breaking off two pieces of the wood that were perfect for rows. "I'm seeing this through. We both are," he told me matter-of-factly, leaving no room for discussion or argument.

**VPOV**

We were all sitting at the table, waiting. Negan sat at the head of the table, an empty seat to his right while I sat on his left- he'd insisted. Carl sat on my other side, with Aly next to him. Across from Aly is where Oliva sat, with Judith in her lap despite the fact Judith's chair was placed in the spot across from Carl.

No one spoke as we waited. No one dared to do anything that might upset Negan. Even Aly was keeping quiet and staying still.

She hadn't wanted to come down when I'd gone to get her. But after a while she'd rethought the situation and realized the best thing to do was to do what Negan wanted.

Sighing, Negan shook his head. "I'm not waiting for your dad anymore. I don't know where the hell he is..." he reached down to his side before lifting Lucille up, "but Lucille is hungry," he told us as he placed her on the empty chair.

I found it odd, how I referred to Lucille as a her and not as a bat. I guess after everything that had happened that night we first met Negan, the part of my sanity that would usually refer to a weapon as just a weapon, had been damaged. There was no other reason why I would ever call the barbwire wrapped bat by the name it's owner had given her.

_It would also explain why I was still attracted to Negan..._

Grabbing a napkin, Negan unfolded it and tucked it into his shirt as he looked to my brother. "Carl, pass the rolls." When Carl didn't move, Negan sighed again, "Please."

Doing as he said, Carl turned and grabbed for the rolls, moving to hand them over to Negan.

Seeing as we were going to be eating now, I grabbed the bowl of spaghetti, putting some on to my plate before handing the bowl down to Carl so he could serve himself. I had just grabbed my knife and fork when Negan's voice stopped me.

"Vickie."

Looking up at him, I nearly rolled my eyes seeing his grin firmly in place. "Yes, Negan?"

Leaning his elbows on the table he continued to grin as he spoke. "I want you to understand that I am letting you have a knife because I trust you won't do anything stupid with it. So don't go hiding it in your pocket, okay?"

Glaring at him, I tossed my knife down on to an empty spot in front of him. "There. Now you don't have to worry."

"She could still kill you with a fork," Aly told him. She'd meant it as a threat, but her words had simply made Negan's grin widen as he chuckled lightly.

"Oh my, God!" I groaned. "Fine." I threw my fork down on to the table as well before I grabbed Negan's empty plate and swapped it for mine. "I'll just eat a fucking roll," I snapped, grabbing a roll before sinking my teeth into it and taking a bite.

I didn't know why people were saying I could kill Negan. Carl had mentioned it in Negan's room, and Aly had mentioned it now. Just because I _had_ killed some people- okay, so a lot of people- did not mean I was going to kill everyone and anyone with any random object I held.

There was a difference between killing people and being a killer. I was not the latter. I was not a killer.

I was _not_ a killer.

**RPOV**

"Almost at the canoe," I called to Aaron over my shoulder as we continued to paddle the small boat. "We're taking on water quick."

"I know."

There wasn't much distance between us and the canoe, but with the rate we were bring on water, things were starting to look a little bad. We'd make it sure, unless we were slowed down by the walkers. Speaking of which, the walkers had been trying to move to us the moment we'd touched the water. They couldn't swim, but they could still move.

"Rick, on the left!" Aaron called.

I saw the walker at the front of the boat as it reached for us. I went to use the paddle to kill it, but another walker grabbed the boat at the same time, shaking it and making me lose my balance slightly.

Once I regained my balance, Aaron and I easily took down the two walkers and a few more that had made their way to us.

The moment the walkers were dead we began to move again. We couldn't waste any more time, and there were already more walkers on their way.

"We're almost there," Aaron reassured me.

More walkers came, but I simply pushed them away as we finally reached the canoe.

Aaron moved first, grabbing the edge of the second boat so he could pull himself into it. But as his hand gripped the canoe, a walker sat up from under the life jackets in the boat, and reached for him.

Aaron backed up as the walker reached for him still. " Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No, no!"

I grabbed my knife from my belt and grabbed the walker, killing it in an instant. But it was too late. Aaron had been leaning too far back, and had fallen into the water.

"Hold on! Hold on!" I yelled out to him.

"Stay in the canoe!" he called to me as walkers began to surround him. "I can- Just- Oh!"

He was pulled under water.

"Aaron! Aaron!"

My eyes scanned the water, looking for any sign of him. Every fiber of my being wanted me to jump in the water, but I knew better. We could both die. As harsh as that sounded, I had to at least give it a moment before I risked my life to save his.

Aaron was a friend, and I knew he had people who cared about him back home. But if neither of us got back, it would make everyone else's lives worse. Negan would not believe that I died. Or maybe he would and he'd simply take over completely and kill everyone he didn't want to take back to his place. If that was the case, I was sure that more than half of my people would be killed.

Yet as I knelt on the canoe, looking out, waiting for Aaron to reappear, I began to think about Vickie, Carl, Judith and Michonne. What if it was me down there and Aaron up here? What you my family do if they found out I'd died out here? What would happen to them.

I knew then I couldn't just let Aaron die, even though he'd wanted me to stay in the canoe and leave him.

I was just about to dive into the water, when Aaron surfaced, taking a deep breath of air as he did.

"I'm okay," he called to me as he began to swim towards me. "I'm all right. I'm okay. I'm okay."

Nodding, feeling more relieved than I had in days, I reached out a hand before pulling him into the canoe.

**DPOV**

I was out of my cell and in the halls. A trail of matches had been laid out, showing me which way to go. I had no idea who'd was helping me, but whoever it was, seemed to be one of the good guys. At least that's what I hoped. I mean, this could just be another trap.

"Watch it!" a woman snapped.

A second later I came to a halt just before I'd passed an open door as glass shattered and liquid- by the smell of it, alcohol- spilled out of the room.

"God damn it!" a man groaned.

Before either one of them had the chance to bust me out in the hall, I turned and moved to the nearest door, ducking into the room and pressing myself against the now once again closed door.

"Go get a mop and another barrel," the woman ordered.

After that I couldn't hear what they were talking about but I was sure I could hear the voice of a second man join the conversation.

Feeling a little more secure in the room, I quickly dashed over to the second door, opening to make sure I was alone, which I was- thankfully. Though I now knew I was in someone's apartment, or house.

Not caring, so long as no one came knocking, I closed the door again and turned to see what I could use. My eyes instantly landed on a jar of peanut butter. Grabbing it, I used my fingers to eat the spread as I moved to grab some clothes from the ground.

Stripping off the clothes I'd been stuck in for days now, I quickly pulled on a shirt and a flannel, needing to at least have some kind of cover so no one would recognise me with just a single glance.

As I turned again, looking for something else I could use, I found my gaze land on a table where a few wooden figurines sat. I recognized them instantly. They were the same kind Dwight had carved. Which told me exactly whose' room I was in.

**RPOV**

Aaron and I had made it to the boat house and were now going through the boxes and cupboards inside, grabbing whatever we could find. It didn't matter if it was a can of food or a blanket. With the Saviours taking more than just things they need to survive, we knew better than to let anything go.

"Bit of a sore loser," Aaron spoke.

I turned to see him showing me a sign that read, ' _Congrats for winning. But you still lose!'_

"Huh." I scoffed as I turned back to the guns I'd been going through. "Looks like the only thing he ran out of was ammo," I noted, placing the gun back down on to the pile. "We gotta get this back now."

"Yeah." Nodding, Aaron moved to stand by the edge of the boat as he looked around to see how we could get everything back to land. "Well he's got paddles. And with the wind picking up, it shouldn't take long to drift back to shore."

I looked around, seeing he was right. It wasn't like we could start the boat- we'd already tried- and the supplies wouldn't all fit in the canoe. So, it looked like we were just going to have to have a little patience.

**  
**

**Chapter 15**

**Snake in the Grass**

**DPOV**

I'd found a spoon to eat the peanut butter with, and had set myself on the leather chair while I waited. I needed the people next door to come back to their room. I needed to make sure they weren't in the hall where they could bust me when I decide to make a break for it.

While I was waiting, I'd set my eyes on the little figurines on the table. My mind wondered about all the things I wanted to do to Dwight after all the crap he'd put me through. Not just while I was here, but ever since I met him.

I also thought about Vic. The idea of breaking out of this place and seeing her again, speaking to her again, _touching_ her again. You have no idea how much I needed her. We needed each other, and the idea of her going through the loss of our friends by herself was enough to make me want to tear everyone Saviour apart.

"Easy. Easy." A man's muffled voice came through from the room next door.

"We got it. Take this crap back," another man said.

"How 'bout, this time, you watch where you're going?" There was the woman's voice.

I was on my feet in an instant, putting the spoon in the peanut butter and the peanut butter on the ground. As I moved towards the door, I couldn't help myself. Reaching the table, I grabbed the corner and flung it up and over, sending everything on top of it to the ground.

Now by the door, I grabbed a hat from a hook, put it on my head and snuck out, ready to finally get the hell out of this place.

**RPOV**

Now that we were back on land, Aaron and I were staking the boxes of supplies and things into our truck. We weren't going to find any other places to scavenge today, so we were taking everything from the boat house. Right down to the mattress.

"You know, back there, I didn't mean that you couldn't do it," I told Aaron as we kept moving stuff into the truck. "It's just going this far, risking this much to get things for them... people don't agree with it. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't."

"I was there. I saw what happened on the road," he pointed out. "What we're doing is gonna keep people living. We get to do that, it doesn't matter what happens to us."

"Michonne doesn't think this is living."

"Well, committing to a choice like this, after living how we did. Free." He shrugged, grabbing another box. "I get it. It's hard. It's giving up everything, right up until your own life. But either your heart's beating, or it isn't. Your loved ones' hearts are beating, or they aren't. We take what they give us so that we can live," he told me, placing the last box in the truck.

His words made me think. How much did Negan really want us to give up? How much was everyone willing to give? Me? I'd give him everything if it meant saving my family and people. I'd even give him my life if it meant he didn't kill or hurt anyone else.

Which begged the question, what would everyone else give up? Michonne? Rosita? Tobin? Eugene? Olivia? Carl? Morgan? Maggie? Enid? Gabriel? Sasha? Spencer? Carol? Vickie? What would they give up?

**MPOV**

Sitting at the dining table in the trailer, I was snacking on a cucumber as Enid cleaned up the small kitchen. The sound of someone walking up the steps t our door had me turn as the smell of apple pie crept into the room.

The moment Sasha opened the door, I was out of my seat.

"Is that an apple pie?" I asked, mouth full of cucumber.

Her jaw dropped as she closed the door with one hand before lifting the cover off of the pie. "How did you do that?"

"I could smell it from outside the door," I told her, taking the pie out of her grasp and setting it on the table.

"Uh, you baked it?" Enid asked.

"Some guy gave it to us for what we did," Sasha answered, moving to sit on the couch. "His little girl said you should run for President of Hilltop." She smiled at me.

Enid chuckled, "'Maggie for President'."

Ignoring them, I grabbed a spatula from one of the drawers before using it to cut a slice of the pie out of the pie dish.

"Uh, do you want a plate?" Enid offered.

I shook my head, using a fork to eat the slice of pie. "No, I'm good." As I took a bite I looked up at Sasha, seeing her looking down at two knives in her hands. "Did Jesus give you those? Is he still around? There's some things I wanna add to his list before he goes out. The kids need something to write with. Pens, pencils."

"Are you already president?" Enid asked cheekily.

"Mm." I shook my head, chuckling lightly. "I've just been talking to people."

"Jesus left this morning," Sasha said, bringing the conversation back to my question. "He told me to tell you, but I-I forgot."

"Okay. Next time." I shrugged, getting up. "I'm gonna get some milk."

Sasha was on her feet, moving to get to the door. "Let me," she offered.

But I reached the door before her. "No, I'm good." I smiled, walking out.

I wasn't sure why, but I had a bad feeling. It was like the feeling I got when I thought about Vickie going off to do something stupid.

Jesus was a friend. A new one, but still a friend. I didn't know him that well, but from what I'd seen I already knew he was willing to put himself in sticky situations for others. So where ever he was and whatever he was doing, I hoped he was okay.

**DPOV**

While making my way through the halls, I'd come across some pipes being replaced in the wall. Not thinking twice about it, I grabbed one for a weapon, just in case before continuing down hall as I kept following the trail of match sticks.

I came to the exit I'd used a few days ago, the same that had lead me to the trap Negan had set. But this time. This time I was sure there wasn't a trap. I could already feel the freedom. I could _smell_ it.

Grabbing the door, I pushed it open, walking out into the small area used as a parking space for a couple of trucks and some motorbikes.

Not wasting a single second more, I rushed over to the bikes, seeing mine sitting there. While in Dwight's room, I'd looked for the key to my bike and found it. Moving to my bike now, I got ready to get the hell out of here as fast as I could.

But just as I went to jump on, someone walked around the corner. Joey walked around the corner, snaking on a sandwich.

"What the hell? Whoa. Whoa." He raised his hands in defence, dropping the sandwich as he did so. "It's cool, I swear. Buddy, you can walk right out that back gate there, and I won't say anything to anybody. I'm supposed to be there now, but, listen, I'm- I'm just trying to get by, just like you."

There was fear in his eyes. Real fear. This guy was nothing without Negan. Without back up. Without orders. He was nothing. It was almost enough for me to let him go.

But then I remembered what he'd done to me. How he'd been the one to lead me into the trap. How he'd been a part of the crowd that had beat me. How he'd aimed Rick's gun in my face. How he smirked at me, knowing what was coming for me after I refused Negan's offer.

I started walking towards him.

The fear in his eyes grew. "Please."

Not giving him a chance to say anything else, or defend himself, or even run, I lifted the pipe and brought it down on to his head.

He fell to the ground in a heap as his head cracked open and his brains and blood spilled out with every hit of the pipe.

"Daryl."

I heard someone say my name, but I wasn't done. I kept hitting Joey until his face was unrecognisable. After everything he'd done to me, and after everything I'd been put through, I needed to get back at them somehow. So for now, this would do. But only for now.

"Daryl," the person spoke again.

I dropped the pipe then and looked up to see Jesus standing there, looking at me shocked. "It ain't just about gettin' by here. It's about gettin' it all," I noted before gesturing to my bike. "I got the key. Let's go."

I was just about to go when my eyes landed on a gun tucked into Joey's pants. Reaching down, I grabbed it, seeing it was Rick's gun. Nodding to myself I turned and headed over to my bike, knowing Jesus would be right behind me, both of us wanting to get out of this place as soon as possible.

**VPOV**

Negan and I had been in the living room, sitting in uncomfortable silence as he grinned at me and I glared at him. We'd been like that for some time. Olivia had taken the girls to their room, while I'd sent Carl to his. There was no need for anyone else to suffer through Negan's presence.

The sound of people talking outside had Negan look up and out the window before he got to his feet. "Come on, Sweetheart. We've got a guest," he said as he offered me his hand.

Sighing, I took it, knowing I had no other choice. Once he pulled me to my feet, he looped my arm through his before walking us to the front door. The moment he opened it I found myself looking down Arat and Spencer.

"I just want to talk to him," Spencer assured her.

But Arat simply shook her head. "I said 'no'."

"Don't be an asshole, Arat." Negan grinned, stepping out on the porch with me right behind him. "Let the man pass."

Spencer's eyes looked from Negan, to me, to our looped arms and then back to Negan. There was a flash of what appeared to be anger, but it was gone before I could read into it. Though for the single second the emotion had rested on his face, it told me enough. Spencer didn't trust my dad or me. Seeing me by Negan's side, well I guess he sees that as just another reason to hate me.

Negan must not have noticed the look of anger Spencer had given, because his eyes seemed to rest on the bottle of alcohol in Spencer's hand and nothing else. "Oh, crap. Is that for me?"

Spencer started up the porch steps, a smile on his face. "We haven't officially met. I'm Spencer Monroe," he introduces himself to Negan. "Hi."

**RPOV**

The gate to Alexandria creaked as it opened, but that didn't matter to me. What mattered was the fact a stranger was opening it. I was out of the truck in an instant, moving to go talk to the stranger. I recognised him as the one who'd given Negan the camera on their first visit here.

"Where is he?" I asked, skipping the formalities.

"Negan? He's in your house, asshole, waiting for you," the guy answered.

Having nothing left to say, or wanting to hear nothing more from him, I started to move towards my house, ready to go see what hell Negan had brought down on us this time.

I was suddenly stopped by a guy as he stepped in my way. I recognised this one as well. He'd been the one to torment Enid last time, and he'd also slapped Vickie the night we first me Negan.

"Whoa, hey." He smiled at me, though it was not a friendly smile. No, it was cocky. "Just like that? See, we've been waiting for hours just to see what you gonna bring us, huh? Why don't we have a look first?" He nodded to the truck as Aaron parked it inside the gates.

Knowing I didn't really have a choice here, I bit my tongue and nodded, willing to wait a few more minutes if it made everything easier. The last thing we needed was to piss these guys off.

**NPOV**

I sat on the porch with Vickie and Spencer, enjoying a glass of scotch. Vickie clearly didn't want to be here. She didn't want me here either. But more than that, she didn't want Spencer around. I'd noticed it the moment I opened the front door. Both of them didn't like each other. I knew that by the way Vickie had tensed next to me- though I doubt she noticed her reaction to our guest. I also noticed the way Spencer hadn't looked too pleased to see Vickie on my arm.

But I'd simply pretended not to notice. I didn't really feel like pointing it out. In fact, I wanted to play with it for a moment. I wanted to see how far I could go before one of them snapped.

So here I was, back on the rocking chair, while Spencer sat on the other and Vickie sat on my other side on a kitchen chair I had grab from inside the house.

"Running water, air conditioning, a housewarming gift?" I shook my head, grinning. "That settles it. I am getting myself a vacation home here."

"Cheers to that." Spencer lifted his glass to me.

I lifted mine to him as well before taking a sip. It was some pretty fine scotch if you ask me.

"Mm. Mm. Oh, that is good." I turned to look at Vickie. "You sure you don't want some, Sweetheart?"

She just shook her head, keeping her eyes focused in front of her. "I told you I don't drink alcohol."

"Your loss." I shrugged, turning to see Spencer eying our interaction curiously. Ignoring his look, I got a little more comfortable in my seat as I stretched my legs out in front of me. "You know, the only thing missing is a pool table. Nothing better than a good game of 8 ball."

Focusing on me again, Spencer gestured to a house over the road. "The house across the street has one in the garage."

A wide grin spread across my face. "Oh, Spencer, you may just be my new best friend," I chuckled. "Such a nice day, though. Too nice to be cooped up inside some garage, don't you think?" That's when I thought of the perfect solution. "Oh, I got a better idea." Getting to my feet I turned to Vickie. "Come on, Sweetheart. Time to have some fun."

**RPOV**

As the Saviours went through our stuff, Aaron and I had to stand back and watch them pile everything they wanted into their trucks. I knew that by the time they were finished we'd probably have nothing to show for the days we'd been gone.

"Not bad." The one who'd opened the gate nodded

"We had to go out pretty far," Aaron told them.

They ignored him though as hey just kept going through the boxes. Aaron and I fell silent again, watching them, wishing they'd just take it all already and go.

"What the hell's this?" One of the female Saviours asked as she pulled a note from one of the boxes. But not just any note... "' _Congrats for winning. But you still lose_ '?"

The Saviour that had stopped me before now looked up at Aaron and myself. "You leave us a little love note?" he asked, taking the note from the woman as he then focused on Aaron.

"No, I just-" Aaron started to back up as the man kept walking towards him. "I mean- We wouldn't, obviously-"

The guy cut him off, "Wait. What? Did you just say it's obvious?" He pushed Aaron into the side of the truck.

"We didn't do that," Aaron tried to explain once more.

But the guy no longer seemed to be focused on the note. "It's not about the damn note!" he snapped, pushing Aaron into the side of the truck again.

"Don't," I warned, stepped closer to Aaron and the asshole picking on him. There was no doubt in my mind that this was no about Aaron being gay and not about the stupid note.

Before I could do anything else the other guy- the one who'd opened the gate- stepped in front of me. "Run along to Negan, Rick," he told me before moving to punch Aaron in the gut, making him fall to the ground. "But your friend here... he's got no place to be."

"You-" I went to step forward to stop them.

But the woman was in front of me now, gun in my face. " Back up!" she warned, cocking the gun.

There was nothing I could do to fix the situation now. All I could do was watch as the two assholes continued to beat Aaron while he curled up on the ground unable to defend himself.

**VPOV**

Negan had his people bring the pool table out into the street so he and Spencer could play out in the sun. His people watched as Spencer set up the game while Negan and I stood at the other end of the table waiting and watching.

I grabbed Negan's shoulder, turning him to me and lifting myself on to my toes so I could whisper in his ear. "You can't trust him," I warned, my voice low so only he could hear me.

I didn't like Negan, sure. But I didn't like Spencer either. He'd made mistakes over and over. He'd tried planning things but only made situations worse. He'd almost gotten myself, Tara _and_ Olivia killed. He'd stolen, lied, cheated and screwed up in more ways than I could list. But what really pissed me off was what he'd said the other day about Glenn and Abraham. For that, I wanted him dead.

Negan chuckled in my ear, causing my grip on his arm to tighten which pulled him a little closer accidentally.

His lips brushed my skin as he spoke. "Are you worried about me, Sweetheart?" he asked, moving to rest his hand on my waist.

Glaring, I shoved him away. I'd tried to do something nice for the guy, and all I got in return was his usually asshole self. So if he wasn't going to take me seriously, and if he was going to get himself killed, then so be it. Why should I care?

 _Why_ do _I care?_

Shaking my head to clear that question away, I moved a few steps back from Negan and looked to the table, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing the anger and disappointment in my eyes.

Seeming not to care about my actions, Negan turned to Spencer. "I could never do this with Rick. He would just be standing there, scowling, giving me that annoying side-eye he gives me."

Spencer looked up at Negan then. "That's actually what I came to see you about. I want to talk to you about Rick."

Lining up the ball, Negan shrugged. "All right. Talk to me, Spencer. Talk to me about Rick."

"I get what you're trying to do here, what you're trying to build," Spencer started as Negan took a shot. "I'm not saying I agree with your methods, but I get it. You're building a network. You're making people contribute for the greater good. It makes sense. But you should know that Rick Grimes has a history of not working well with others."

_I'm gonna kill this asshole._

"Mm." Negan nodded, taking another shot. "Is that so?"

By now, people had gathered to watch. Even Olivia and Carl had come out of the house to see what was going on. I wasn't sure if it was because Negan and Spencer were playing pool, or if it was because they were talking. But either way, it had their interest.

"Rick wasn't the original leader here. My mum was. She was doing a really good job of it. Then she died, not long after Rick showed up. Same with my brother, same with my dad."

"So, everything was peachy here for, what? Years? And then Rick shows up, and suddenly, you're an orphan?" Negan shook his head. "That is the saddest story I've ever heard."

Before I could stop myself, I cut in, "That's not my dad's fault. Hell, I was there when two of them died. I killed one of them myself." I glared at Spencer. "Don't blame others for shit they didn't do just because you can't stand the fact you're no longer in the spotlight."

Spencer turned to glare at me. "Yeah, you did kill my dad. You left Aiden for dead, too. Let the walkers get to my mum." Anger began to burn in his eyes. "You're just as bad as your father."

"That is it!" I grabbed one of the spare pool cues before lifting my knee and breaking the wooden tool against my leg. "I am going to rip you to shreds!" I yelled, moving for Spencer.

His eyes went wide for a second as he realised I wasn't joking. I was really going to kill him, and that scared the shit out of him.

But before I could get far, Negan grabbed my arm, stopping me. "Whoa there, Sweetheart. Calm down before you hurt someone."

"The plan _is_ to hurt someone," I noted.

I could have fought against him and gotten free. But I was well aware of all his people now watching me, their guns ready to aim and shoot.

Shaking his head, chuckling lightly, Negan leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Calm the fuck down before you make me do something I really don't want to," he warned, though I could still hear the grin on his lips.

Hesitating a moment longer, I continued to glare at Spencer before I relaxed my body and dropped the two sticks, turning my body to face Negan as I did so. "I hope you realise you just pissed me off even more." I glared at him.

He simply laughed as he let me go and kicked the sticks away before turning back to Spencer. "Where were we? Ah, right, Rick. Lucky for you, you don't have to worry. He's not in charge anymore." Negan shrugged.

"Doesn't matter." Spencer moved to take a shot. "His ego's out of control. He'll find a way to screw things up, to try and do things his way, to take over. That's what he did with my mum. That's what he'll do again," he said as he took his shot.

Negan moved to stand near Spencer, taking a sip of his drink before speaking. "What exactly are you proposing be done about that?

"I am my mother's son." Spencer shrugged. "I can be the leader she was. That's what this place needs. That's what you need."

"So I should put you in charge. That's what you're saying?" Negan asked, taking another drink.

"We'd be much better off."

 _Oh, I am_ so _going to kill this asshole!_

**RPOV**

I was pissed. If it wasn't for the situation, I would have torn these assholes apart. Watching them beat Aaron. If it wasn't for everyone else, I would have killed them all. I could have. It would have been easy to take the gun from the girl and kill every asshole I could see. But I couldn't, so I didn't.

"You're all right. You're all right." I nodded, trying to reassure him and calm myself.

"All right, all right, all right. Point made," the guy who'd opened the gate took a step back from Aaron.

The other guy stepped back as they let us go, watching without saying a word. Now that they were finished, I rushed over to help Aaron get to his feet, putting my arm around him as his went over my shoulders.

Once we were far enough, Aaron finally spoke, keeping his voice low as he did. "My heart's still beating, right?"

**  
**

**Chapter 16**

**Guts**

**VPOV**

Negan had fallen silent for a couple of shots. Spencer hadn't said anything else- I guess he was smart enough not to. It was clear Negan was thinking about something. Whatever it was, I was sure it would lead to him taking Spencer's side.

He'd already said he wanted to kill my dad. Why would he have changed his mind? Why wouldn't he listen to Spencer? The guy was a push over. It would be easier to handle our people if Spencer was leading us.

"You know, I'm thinking, Spencer," Negan started, turning to the man in question. "I'm thinking how Rick threatened to kill me, how he clearly hates my guts. But he is out there right now, gathering shit for me to make sure I don't hurt any of the fine people that live here. He is swallowing his hate and getting shit done," he noted, moving to take a shot. "That takes guts."

We all watched as he hit the ball, getting one in the hole. I only just noticed that he was winning. But my ability to care was long gone, seeing as I was still focused on the fact I wanted Spencer dead.

"And then there's you." Negan shrugged, standing straight again as he slowly moved closer to Spencer. "The guy who waited for Rick to be gone so he could sneak over and talk to me to get me to do his dirty work, so he could take Rick's place. So I got to ask... if you wanna take over, why not just kill Rick yourself and just take over?"

"What?" Spencer shook his head. "No, no. I didn't- I don't-"

Negan interrupted him, not caring what he had to say. "You know what I'm thinking? 'Cause I have a guess." He leaned in closer to Spencer, shrugging. "It's because you got no guts."

Everything happened so suddenly that I didn't even realise what had happened until it was all done.

One moment Spencer was standing there, looking at Negan with fear in his eyes- though not as much fear as he'd had when he thought I was going to kill him. Then Negan suddenly had a knife out… which he used to stab Spencer in the gut and slice the guy open.

Spencer guts literally fall out of him and onto the road.

There were a few gasps and cries from the people watching in the crowd, but no one moved as Spencer fell to his knees, grabbing his insides as he slowly died.

Now I know this is horrible to admit… but I was glad.

After everything we'd all been through, I'm not going to lie and say I instantly regretted wishing Spencer dead, or that my hatred for Negan grew with this act of violence. That would be lying.

Sure, I would have killed him a little faster than that, and I would have damaged the brain as well- so he wouldn't come back. But none of that really mattered, because he was dead and that's what I wanted.

Yes, part of me would feel bad because he had been one of us. But that part was nothing compared to the part of me that was happy no one had to worry about how the asshole would screw up next.

Negan stood over him as Spencer continued to slowly die before all of us. "How embarrassing. There they are. They were inside you the whole time. You did have guts. I've never been so wrong in my whole life!" He grinned, looking to everyone in the crowd.

Every single one of the people I called family, all of my friends, I had no doubt they now hated Negan more than ever. But yet again, I couldn't lie. If I had to tell the truth, what Negan had just done, actually made me like him a little.

He was crazy and an asshole and had just spilled someone's guts on to the road, but if he hadn't of killed Spencer, I would have. He simply saved me from having to add to my ever-growing list of victims.

Moving to grab Lucille from where she'd been leaning against the pool table, Negan spoke once more, "Now, someone oughta get up here and clean this mess up." No one moved. No one even blinked. He just chuckled, "Anyone want to finish the game?" He grinned, searching the crowd again. "C'mon. Anybody? Anybody? _C'mon_. I was winning!"

I saw her move before I heard the shot.

Rosita was fast as she pulled out a gun from her back and aimed it at Negan, pulling the trigger in an instant. No one had seen it coming. No one had been prepared.

But instead of falling to the ground, Negan looked pissed. That's when I realised he'd coincidentally lifted Lucille at _just_ the right time, causing the bullet to hit her instead.

"Fuck!" He started for Rosita.

Before he reached her, Arat pushed the gun out of Rosita's grasp and got my friend to the ground as Negan then loomed over her, clearly wanting to bash her skull in as he yelled.

"What the fuck?! _Fuck_! You just-" He shook his head, getting angrier and angrier by the second. "You tried to kill me?! You shot Lucille!"

"She got in the way," Rosita told him smugly as Arat held a knife to her throat.

I had no idea why she thought it was okay to be a smartass now. I mean, I would probably act the same way as she was right now if it was me on the ground instead, but that doesn't mean I wanted her acting so stupid. I didn't want her to die. I didn't want anyone else to die.

Shaking his head, Negan stepped back and grabbed the shell from the ground as he checked it out. "What is this? What is this? This little bad boy made from scratch? Look at those crimps. This was homemade. You may be stupid, darlin', but you showed some real ingenuity here. Arat, move that knife up out on that girl's face."

Arat did as she was told, lifting the knife off of Rosita's throat and pressed the tip to her cheek instead.

Negan leaned down as he looked at my friend, still pissed but a little more controlled. "Lucille's beautiful, smooth surface is never gonna look the same, so why should yours?! Unless... unless you tell me who made this." He gestured to the bullet.

"It was me," she told him. "I made it."

Negan just grinned, though he was not amused and clearly still pissed. "You see, now I just think you're lying. And you lying to me _now_?! Such a shame. Arat's gonna have to cut up that pretty face." He shook his head. "One more try."

Rosita lifted her head as she spoke, causing the blade of the knife to cut into her skin. "It was me."

Negan chuckled, "Oh! You are such a badass!" He grinned before giving a slight shrug. "Fine. Have it your way." He turned away and started walking towards me. "Arat. Kill somebody."

My eyes went wide as I watched Arat, sure I would be the one to go. I guess everyone would think that at a time like this though. Yet I'd rather die myself than have to go through the loss of someone else I cared about. I wasn't sure I could handle that.

"No!" Rosita shook her head at Arat. "It was me! No!"

Arat didn't listen to her. Instead she straightened up, turned to face my house and pulled the trigger.

"Carl!" I screamed, thinking it was him she'd killed.

But it was Olivia who fell to the ground.

Taking a step, I went to see if she could be saved, but was stopped when Negan grabbed my arm and held me in place.

"We had an agreement!" dad yelled, coming out of the crowd.

"Rick!" Negan turned away from me and to my father. "Look, everybody, it's Rick." He smiled, his voice a little scratchy. "Ah, your people are making me lose my voice doin' all this yelling."

Dad came to a stop by Negan and me, just a few steps away. His eyes landed on me for a moment, seeing the situation I was in, before he turned back to Negan.

Negan's mood changed from angry to pleasant in an instant as he smiled at my dad. "Rick how about a 'thank you'? I mean, look, I know we started this relationship with me beating the holy shit out of your friends. And because of that, we're never gonna sit around and braid each other's hair or share our deepest, darkest secrets. But how about a little credit? I just bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am." He shrugged. "Your kids..." he shook his head, "they hid in one of my trucks. The boy machine-gunned a bunch of my men down, and your girl beat up Dwighty boy."

Dad turned to me again then, before looking over at Carl. There was a clear look of disappointment in his eyes. Disappointment, disbelief and fear. Only a parent can look at you like that, and only that kind of look can make you feel as guilty as I now did.

"I brought them home, safe and sound. Even fed them spaghetti." Negan continued to smile. "Another one of your people... well, he wanted me to kill you and put him in charge. I took him out, for you. And another one, here." He gestured to Rosita. "She shot Lucille, trying to kill me just now, so I gave you one less mouth to feed. And by looking at her, that mouth did some major damage. Now, personally, I wouldn't have picked her to be the one to go, but Arat," he sighed. "I don't know. Didn't trust her."

Turning back to Negan, with that look in his eyes dad only had when he was so angry he could kill someone, dad used all the self-control he could muster as he spoke. "Your shit's waiting for you at the gate. Just go."

"Sure thing, Rick." Negan nodded. "Right after I find the guy or gal that made this bullet." Still grinning, Negan turned to me. "Vickie, Sweetheart. Who made the bullet?"

I froze.

Oh, I knew who made it. Eugene had spoken to dad and I about it a few times. He was also the only one of us I knew that was smart enough to actually make something like a bullet. So my hesitation wasn't because I didn't know. No, I was suddenly very silent and still because I didn't know how I could get all of us out of this without someone else dying.

If I didn't say anything, Negan would probably have someone else killed. If I did say something, he'd probably have Eugene killed.

Seeing the inner battle I was going through, Negan shook his head as he lifted his hand to cup my cheek. "Let me make this easy for you." He smiled kindly before speaking again, "Arat!"

Just like that, Arat aimed at Aaron and Eric.

"It was me!" Tara called out.

Everyone turned to her. Even Negan let go of me to look at her.

I hadn't seen her since the satellite outpost. I'd caught a few glimpses of her since Negan had brought Carl and I back, but I hadn't had the chance to actually talk to her. Being stuck to Negan's side made it a little difficult to start a conversation.

But seeing her now, hearing her voice. Her eyes were locked on mine and I could tell she was lying for me. If Negan was going to kill someone, she was offering herself up with a simple lie.

Yet before any of the Saviours or Negan could do or say anything, another voice spoke up.

"No, it wasn't," Eugene said, his voice shaking. All eyes turned to see him lowering his hands from his face as he spoke again, "It was me. It was only me."

Grabbing my arm, Negan pulled me along as he moved to Eugene. "You?"

Nodding, Eugene opened his mouth to speak again. "It required one spent casing, one four-holed turret reloader, powder, one funnel for the powder-"

"Shut up," Negan ordered. "I believe you."

Turning away from Eugene Negan let go of me as he took a few steps and lifted Lucille into the air. My eyes went wide as I pictured him turning around and swinging the bat. I pictured Lucille slamming into Eugene's head just as she'd hit Glenn and Abraham.

But instead of turning and beating the crap out of Eugene, Negan spoke to his bat instead. "Lucille, give me strength." He sighed before turning to my dad. "I'm gonna be relieving you of your bullet maker, Rick. That and whatever you left for me at the front gate. And however much you scavenged, it's not good enough, because you're still in a serious, serious hole after today," he noted. "Everybody, move out!"

I stood there, watching as two male Saviours grabbed Eugene and began to lead him away.

Rosita called out to them as they continued to walk off. "No! No, no! Please, just take me!" she cried. "No!"

"Oh, Rick, I ain't gonna lie. Your kitchen is a Goddamn mess," Negan chuckled lightly. "I'll see you next time." Turning away from my dad, Negan stepped up to me, placing a hand on my hip as he leaned forward. "Suggest you say your goodbyes. I'll be back for you in a week," he whispered in my ear, lips brushing my skin before he moved away and walked off.

Dad and I stood there, watching as Negan, Eugene and the Saviours disappeared. Neither of us moved or spoke as we waited until we were truly alone. Not even our own people were around anymore.

It was the sound of groans that had dad and I turn. Spencer was coming back, as a walker, sitting himself out and reaching for us.

Grabbing one half of the stick I'd broken before, I used the end to stab Spencer in the head, without flinching, or really thinking. I didn't care anymore.

**RPOV**

After everyone had left, Vickie and I buried Spencer and Olivia. No one else was around, which I was grateful for, so it was just the two of us. As much as I wanted to ask her questions- like why she and Carl went to find Negan- I knew it wasn't the right time. Though, I wasn't sure when the right time would come.

Once we were done, Vickie went back home. I was shocked to see her walk up the porch steps and into the house. She hadn't been in there since the night we met Negan. Since the night everything changed. I guess something must have pushed her over the edge, causing her to finally move forward.

I had wanted to go make sure everyone was okay. Judith, Carl, Aly- even Vickie- but I felt like we all just needed some space. So, I chose to go off on my own instead. To think for a while. I needed some time to myself. I needed to think for a moment and figure out what I was supposed to do next.

The sound of the door opening had my get up from where I'd been kneeling on the ground. The door closed a few seconds before Michonne stepped into the doorway of the cell and leaned against the wall.

"Carl told me you were in here," she noted. "I- I found what I was looking for." she told me, moving further into the cell with me. "I wanted to go with you and Aaron, but I couldn't. I had to go my way. But when I found it I realized that I didn't want it to be _my_ way. I wanted it to be _ours_. Me and you."

Stepping closer to her, I took in everything she was saying, knowing she needed to tell me what was going on in her mind. We hadn't really talked much since everything had happened, and now we _needed_ to talk. We needed to hear each other out.

"There are more of them, even more than we thought. We are outnumbered. It's not even close. But that doesn't change the way that I feel, because it doesn't change the way that things are. We're still alive, Rick. _So_ much has happened, so much that we shouldn't have lived through. And… and in spite of it or maybe because of it, we did. We're still here, the two of us. We're still standing, and we're gonna keep standing.

"So, what do we do with that? How do we make that mean something? We're the ones who get things done. You said that. We're the ones who live. That's why we have to fight. Not for us, but for Judith, for Carl, for Vickie, for Aly, for Alexandria, for the Hilltop. For all of us. We can fight them, Rick. We can find a way to beat them. We can do this. But... But, only if _we_ do this."

"Yeah, I know that now." I nodded, taking a step closer to her. "I _know_ that now."

She smiled as she reached forward, bring her lips up to mine. As we kissed was reassured and relieved to know I still had her.

**MPOV**

Just like every morning, I'd spent some time with Glenn before I'd climbed up one of the lookouts so I could keep guard. But unlike every other day, today people showed up at the gates.

As I stood in front of the opening gates with Sasha and Enid, we couldn't help but smile at the sight before us. Rick, Michonne, Vickie, Carl, Tara and Rosita were here.

Rick walked forward first, moving to me. My smile grew as I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, the two of us holding each other. I hadn't realized how much I missed everyone until now.

Pulling back, Rick looked into my eyes. "You're okay?"

I nodded. " I'm okay. The baby's okay. All of us."

"You were right, right from the start. You told us to get ready to fight." He looked to the others before turning back to me. "I didn't listen, and I couldn't. I can now."

I smiled at him, so glad we were all back together. So happy we were a family once more.

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around me in a tight hug.

I laughed as my own arms wrapped around Vickie. "Hey." I stroked her hair. "I was wondering where you went."

Pulling back, she gave me a guilt filled smile. "I'll explain everything. I will. I just... there were things..." She tripped on her words, finding it hard to go on.

"It's okay." Brushing some hair behind her ear, I nodded. "It's okay."

Pulling to her again, we hugged once more. Holding each other tightly.

Vickie and I, we'd lost a lot and we'd been through a lot- most of it together. Nothing would ever replace the people from our pasts, but I could honestly say that she was the closest thing I had to a sister these days. I would do anything for her, knowing she would do anything for me. We were family.

As we pulled back she moved to stand on my side, rest her head on my shoulder as we nodded and smiled to everyone else. That was until movement caught our attention.

It was Daryl and Jesus, the two of them stepping out into the open. They'd come back yesterday. Jesus had brought Daryl to our trailer where he'd spent the night. We weren't sure what happened or how, but all we cared about was knowing Daryl was safe now.

**DPOV**

Rick was in front of the crowd. I spotted him looking at Maggie before he'd turned and headed towards me. As he came to a stop I could see the relieved, confused, and worried look on his face. But I didn't say anything. Neither of us did.

I just gave him a short nod, unable to stop myself from tearing up before we pulled each other into a hug.

Things may not have started off well between the two of us, but now? Now we were family. Rick was my brother. Knowing he was safe, and okay, I was just as relieved. If he was okay, everything would work out. That's how much I trusted him.

When Rick pulled back I reached around myself and pulled his gun out, gesturing for him to take it.

He hesitated a moment but slowly reached out and took it as a small smile played on his lips. Once the gun was out of my hand Michonne stepped up a hug me. Then Tara. Then Rosita. Then Carl.

Seeing my family and friends. Seeing the people I cared about. _Being_ with them. It was the best feeling in the world. After being locked up, beaten, tortured, treated like an animal... this is what I needed. This is what was going to keep together.

There was a moment, just a second, as I looked to all the faces, questioning. Someone was missing. But before I could worry, everyone moved out of the way, revealing the last person standing behind them.

Vic.

Neither of us moved at first as we stood there looking at each other. Then, all of a sudden, we were both moving.

She ran towards me as I took a few steps forward. I managed to catch her as she threw herself at me, her arms wrapping around my neck as mine wrapped around her body. Her legs wrapped around my hips, as our lips pressed together in a heated and deep kiss.

It was a kiss of relief. I hadn't realised how much I'd actually missed her, how much I'd _needed_ her, until this moment.

 

**Bamby**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 17**

**Stories of Horrors and Kings**

**VPOV**

I stood at the back of Gregory's office, Daryl's arm around me as we waited for Gregory to respond to dad's request. We wanted to fight the Saviours, but to do that we needed more people, which is why we were here, hoping Gregory would help.

Well... dad was hoping. I knew better.

"No!" Gregory shook his head as he paced behind his desk. "No way in hell! That was not the deal. You people swore you could take the Saviours out, and you failed. So, any arrangement we had is now done. Null and void. We aren't trade partners, we aren't friends, and we never met. Hmm? We don't know each other." He took a seat. "I owe you nothing. In fact, you owe me for taking in the refugees, at great personal risk."

"Oh, you were very brave staying in here while Maggie, Victoria and Sasha saved this place." I hid my grin as Jesus stood up to Gregory. "Your courage was inspiring."

Gregory turned to him. "Hey, don't you work for me? Aren't we friends?"

Dad stepped towards the desk. "Gregory, we already started this."

"You started it," Gregory argued.

" _We_ did," dad insisted. He was right. "And we're gonna win."

"These are killers."

"Is this how you want to live? Under their thumb, killing your people?"

"Sometimes we don't get to choose what our life looks like. Sometimes, Ricky, you have to count the blessings you have."

I took a step forward, only to have Daryl holding me back. "His name is Rick." I glared. "Why can't you get that through your thick skull."?

Turning to glare at me, Gregory stood again. "How dare you talk to me like that, in my own home. You're lucky I don't kick you out now."

"You can try." I shrugged, fingers drumming on my knife that sat on my belt.

Hoping to distract Gregory, Maggie stepped forward. "How many people can we spare? How many people here can fight?"

"'We'?" Gregory scoffed. "I don't even know how many people we have, Margaret. And does it even matter? I mean, w-w-what are you gonna do? Start a platoon of sorghum farmers? 'Cause that's what we got. They grow things. They're not gonna want to fight."

"You're wrong," Tara spoke up from where she stood on my other side. "When people have the chance to do the right thing, they usually step up. I mean, people just-"

Gregory cut her off, "L-Let me stop you before you break into song, okay?"

I tightened my grip on my knife, ready to kill him, but stopped myself as Daryl pulled me closer, holding me at bay while using his presence to try to calm me down.

Gregory cleared his throat, looking to all of us. "And, by the way, who would train all this cannon fodder?"

"I will," Sasha said, at the same time Rosita spoke.

"Give me a week."

" _Rhetorical_ , okay?" Gregory told them in a singsong voice, which pissed me off even more. If it wasn't for Daryl, I'd be ripping into the asshole by now. Going back to his normal voice, Gregory went on, "I don't want to know. I never want to hear another word about any of it, ever.

"Would we be better off without the Saviours, yes or no?" dad asked.

Gregory shrugged. "Yeah. Sure. Okay."

Michonne nodded. "So, what will you do to fix the problem?"

"I didn't say we had a problem. You did." Gregory sat back down, leaning into the chair. "And what happens outside of my purview is outside of my purview."

It seemed even Daryl had, had enough by then. Pushing off the wall and letting go of me, he took a step closer to Gregory. "What the hell, man? You're either with us or you ain't. You're sitting over there talking out of both sides of your mouth."

I moved to stand next to Daryl, looking to Gregory. " _You're_ the one who needed help. You're weak, Gregory. That's why you're under Negan. That's why you roll around for them. You. Are. Weak. If it wasn't for us, they would have killed you, and a lot of your people. So, get your head out of your ass, and open your Goddamn eyes. Time you looked outside of your so call purview."

Standing once more, Gregory turned his attention to everyone but Daryl and myself. "I-I think I've made my position very clear. And I want to thank all of you for not being here today and not having this meeting with me or-or being seen on your way out. In other words, go out the back." He guested to the door.

Shaking my head, I stormed out the door, flipping him off on the way as everyone else followed.

"Walking ballsack," Rosita mumbled.

Sasha shook her head. "Wanna knock that idiot's teeth out."

"Yeah, well, we don't need him anyway," Daryl noted, his arm coming around my waist.

"Yeah, that's right." Dad nodded as we all stopped in the foyer. "'Cause we have Maggie and Sasha and Jesus here."

"And Enid," Maggie added just as the door opened and Enid walked in.

Enid looked to all of us. "Hey, um…"

"What's wrong?" Sasha asked her.

"Nothing. Just..." Enid gave a short chuckle as she smiled. "Come outside."

Maggie took the lead, doing as Enid said. Stepping outside on to the porch of the large house in the middle of the Hilltop, we were all surprised and confused. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at Maggie, were all the Hilltop people.

"What's going on?" Maggie asked them.

One woman stopped forward. I recognised her from the day we first came here... "Hey," she started. "So, if you don't remember, I'm Bertie. And I owe my life to you all, twice over. A bunch of us do. Enid says that you want Gregory to get us to fight the Saviours with you. Is that true?"

"Yes," Maggie answered simply.

Getting an answer, Bertie went on, "Do you think we can win, that we really could beat them? Us?"

Maggie gave a short nod. "I do."

Bertie let out a relieved sigh. "Well, Enid says you could show us the way. I'm ready."

"Me too," a man added, followed by others.

"Yeah."

"Let's do this."

"I'm in."

I looked up at Daryl, a smile forming on my lips. Maybe we could do this. Maybe we could win after all.

 

...

 

"It's a start," Michonne noted as our group started for the gate, ready to leave.

"We'll get more." Sasha shook her head. "But it still won't be enough."

"No, it won't," Rosita agreed.

"Well, we find the right stuff." Daryl shrugged, his hand in mine. "Then maybe we don't need the numbers. Blow 'em up, burn 'em to the ground."

"You said there weren't just soldiers with the Saviours, that there were workers there. People didn't have a choice," Tara noted, clearly conflicted.

"We gotta win." Daryl was right. It was as simple as that.

"We need more hands, another group." Dad looked over his shoulder to the rest of us. "Negan has outposts. The geography, the distance works against us. We gotta get back. If they come looking for Daryl, we need to be there."

"You don't have to get back." We all stopped and turned to Jesus, waiting for him to go on. "Not yet." He pulled a walkie off his belt. "It's one of theirs, long range. We can listen in, keep track of them."

"So, if we're not going back, what are we doing, then?" Michonne asked.

"I think it's time we introduced you to Ezekiel." A smile slowly grew on Jesus' lips. "King Ezekiel."

"King?" dad and I said at the same time, both clearly confused and a little unsure.

**RPOV**

Jesus, Vickie and I stepped out of the car as everyone else stayed inside. We moved to wait by the hood, having come to the spot where Jesus lead us. I was still very unsure about his plan, but we were desperate, and I was willing to give anything a go as this point.

"It's called 'The Kingdom'?" I asked Jesus, not hiding the fact that I thought this was all a little insane.

"Yeah." Jesus gave a short nod. "I didn't name it."

"So, where is it?" Vickie asked expectantly, as she looked around.

She had a god point. Where we stood, in a parking lot, surrounded by rundown and empty buildings… no one was living around here. So where was this Kingdom?

"Well," Jesus shrugged, "technically, we're already here. I mean, we're always here, but here we are. At the Kingdom. Well, its outer edge." He gestured around us.

Daryl stepped out of the car then, looking over at us. "Hey, what the hell we waitin' on?"

I didn't blame him for wanting to get out of here. Not only was he visible to any Saviour that might happen to pass by, but I knew he'd be worried about the rest of us- especially Vickie. All of us standing out in the open... none of us liked it.

"Waiting for them." Jesus nodded passed Vickie and me.

We both turned to see two men approaching, both on a horse each and dressed in gear like what we'd had at the prison.

"Who dares to trespass on the sovereign land of the-" The one who spoke first cut himself short as they got closer and realised who he was talking to, "Oh, shit. Jesus, is that you?"

"Who are all these people, Paul?" the other asked.

"Hi, Richard. Nice to see you." Jesus nodded to the second guy.

"It's good to see you, too," Richard added as if it was an afterthought, before he repeated his question. "Your friends, who are they?"

Jesus moved to stand between the two men, and our people. "This is Rick Grimes, and his daughter Victoria. They're the leaders of a like-minded community." He gestured to the rest of our group. "These are some of his people," he introduced. "We would like to request an audience with King Ezekiel."

Richard seemed intrigued by Jesus' words. Sliding off his horse, he looked from Vickie and myself, to everyone else. "Get out of the car," he called. As our people got out of the vehicle, he spoke to Jesus again. "You say they're a like-minded community. Like-minded how?"

"We live, we trade, we fight the dead. Sometimes others," Jesus answered.

The look on Richard's face told me his interest was growing. He nodded to us. "Line up."

Shaking his head, Daryl went to get back in the car. "Okay. This is a waste of time. Come on. Let's go."

Vickie turned to him. "Daryl, give them a chance."

"I'd listen to your leader," Richard started. "Maybe you're right." He shrugged. "The King is a busy man. And it's a dangerous world. We don't usually allow a pack of strangers to waltz through our door."

Michonne stepped forward, to stand next to me. "We want to make the world less dangerous, and we are all here to show the King how serious we are about that."

"The car stays outside. You gotta hand over your guns." Richard left no room for argument.

"We only have two," I informed him as I handed mine over, and Carl handed his.

Guns now in hand, Richard nodded. "Okay. Follow me."

**VPOV**

With my hand in Daryl's, I stood with the rest of the group, looking out at the community before us. Now in The Kingdom, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was like a haven. People moved about, working away. Smiling, laughing, living. No sign of fear on their faces. Pregnant woman and healthy children. It's what I wanted for our own people.

"They have the numbers," Michonne noted.

"But can they fight?" Rosita asked, her mind always set on the inevitable fight we were headed to.

"Oh, they can fight," Jesus assured us.

"Maybe," Daryl grunted.

I tugged on his hand, causing him to look down to me. "Hey. If they can't, we'll teach them." A smile played on my lips as I went on, "Trust me. We got this."

"Morgan?" Tara called.

We all turned in the direction she was looking. There, coming out of the building we were closest to, was Morgan.

Last time I'd seen him, he'd gone off with dad to get Carol. That had been some time now. With everything going on, I hadn't thought about them too much, because I was honestly hoping they'd left us and were in a happier place. But seeing him now? I realised that despite the drama, I still wanted our family whole again.

Morgan nodded to us as he stepped off the low porch of the building- where Richard had come from as well. "Hey." He smiled as Tara moved to hug him. "Hi." He hugged Sasha next.

I gave Daryl's hand a squeeze before letting go. Morgan stood there, waiting for me, his smile growing ever so slightly. When our arms wrapped around each other, I could tell this hug was a little tighter and longer than the others.

"How's Aly?" he asked once we'd pulled apart.

I nodded. "Yeah, she's okay."

"How do you know each other?" Richard asked from where he stood a few steps away, watching us.

"We go back to the start," dad answered as he came to stand next to myself.

Neither he nor Morgan moved or said anything to each other, but you could see how grateful they both were, to know the other was okay.

With an answer, Richard looked to our whole group. "Well, the King is ready to see you," he told us before moving to head back into the building.

Morgan gestured for our people to follow, but for dad and me to wait a moment.

Once everyone started moving, dad spoke again. "Did you find Carol?"

"I did, yeah." Morgan nodded.

Daryl, who had been walking up to me, turned all his attention to Morgan at the sound of our friend's name. "Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She was here, and then she left," Morgan answered. "You know, she wasn't too happy, me following her. She wanted to get away from us, from everyone. But when I found her, she was shot. It was just a graze. I got her back here. They got doctors. They're good."

"Was it them?" None of us needed the word to be said in order to know Daryl was talking about the Saviours.

"It was. She had crossed with some of them, and one of them followed her, tried to kill her, but I stopped him." He paused, looking away from Daryl to turn his gaze to dad and myself. "I killed him. I had to," he told us before turning back to Daryl. "Carol was here. She got help. Now she's gone."

 

...

 

As we entered the theatre room where we were meeting King Ezekiel, our whole group froze. No one seemed to notice, and they certainly didn't seem to care about what had us so freaked. I mean, Jesus had just walked in like there was nothing wrong, walking down the aisle to talk to the King... who sat on a throne... on a stage... with a _freaking tiger_.

Okay, sure, the tiger was chained, but would that really do much to stop it from breaking lose and killing us all if it really wanted?

"Jesus!" the man on the throne- who I presumed was King Ezekiel- called out. "It pleases me to see you, old friend."

"It pleases him, indeed!" a man off to the side agreed.

"Jerry." Ezekiel seemed tired and annoyed with the man, but said nothing more as he turned back to Jesus. "Tell me, what news do you bring good King Ezekiel? Are these new allies you've brought me?"

Jesus gave a short nod. "Indeed, they are, Your Majesty. This is-" He turned to introduce us, only to stop at the sight of our group stood frozen in fear, gathered by the doorway. "Oh, right. I forgot to mention that-"

Dad cut him off, "Yeah, a tiger."

As if on cue, the tiger roared.

Turning back to the King, Jesus went on as we all carefully followed him closer to the stage- but not all the way. "This is Rick Grimes and his daughter Victoria, they're the leaders of Alexandria, and these are some of their people," he introduced us.

"I welcome you all to the Kingdom, good travellers." Ezekiel smiled so genuinely it freaked me out a little. "Now, what brings you to our fair land? Why do you seek an audience with the King?"

"Ezekiel… King Ezekiel," dad corrected himself. "Alexandria, the Hilltop, and the Kingdom. All three of our communities have something in common. We all serve the Saviours."

"We serve Negan," I added. Gesturing to our group, I went on, "Our people, we fought the Saviours once already. And we won. We thought we took out the threat, but we didn't know then what we know now. We only beat one outpost."

Dad took over from where I'd stopped. "We've been told you have a deal with them, that you know them. Then you know they rule through violence and fear."

"Your Majesty, I only told them of the-"

Ezekiel- who didn't look impressed- cut Jesus off, "Our deal with the Saviours is not known among my people. For good cause. We made you a party to that secret when you told us of the Hilltop's own travails, but we did not expect you to share-"

"We can help each other," Jesus assured him.

"Don't interrupt the King," Jerry warned, no longer the cheery guy he'd been when we stepped inside moments ago.

"We brought you into our confidence. Why did you break it?" Ezekiel asked.

"Because I want you to hear Rick and Victoria's plans."

"And what plans have you, Rick and Victoria Grimes of Alexandria?"

Dad and I shared a look. I gave him a short nod, letting him take the lead. "We came to ask the Kingdom, to ask you, to join us in fighting the Saviours, fighting for freedom for all of us."

"What you are asking is very serious," Ezekiel noted.

Michonne spoke up from where she stood in the row of seats behind us. "Several of our people, good people, were killed by the Saviours, brutally."

"Who?" Morgan asked.

Rosita turned to him, arms folded over her chest, anger on her face- though it was to cover the tears she refused to shed. "Abraham. Glenn. Spencer, Olivia. Eugene was taken. They took Daryl. He escaped. Every second he's out here, he's a target. You gonna say you were right?"

"No." Morgan shook his head. "I'm-I'm just real sorry they're gone."

My voice shook as I spoke, "Negan killed Abraham and Glenn." A hand came to rest on my back for support. I didn't have to look to know it was Daryl. "He beat them to death, with a baseball bat, right in front of us. Made us watch. He gutted Spencer. Had one of his people shoot Olivia in front of everyone back home."

"Terrorised the Hilltop, set loose walkers just to make a point," Sasha added.

Turning back to Ezekiel, Jesus went on, trying to make a deal with the King. "I used to think the deal was something we could live with. A lot of us did. But that's changing. So let's change the world, Your Majesty."

"I want to be honest about what we're asking." Dad shifted on the spot, nodding to our group. "Our people are strong, but there's not enough of us. We don't have guns. Not enough, at least. Not a lot of weapons, period."

Suddenly, Richard turned to Ezekiel, seeming to be on our side. "We have people. And weapons. If we strike first, together, we can beat them. Your Majesty, no more waiting for things to get worse beyond what we can handle. We set things right. The time is now."

Thinking it over for a moment, Ezekiel looked to Morgan. "Morgan, what say you?"

"Me?" Morgan seemed surprised to be put on the spot like that.

"Speak," Ezekiel encouraged.

"People will die," he started. "A lot of people, and not just the Saviours. It-" He stopped himself, shifting on the spot and pausing for a moment before he continued. "If we can find another way. We have to. Maybe it's just about Negan. Just capturing him, holding him. Maybe..." He looked down at the ground, clearly unable to go on.

Standing from the throne, Ezekiel looked down at dad and myself. "The hour grows late." The tiger growled. "Rick and Victoria Grimes of Alexandria, you have given the King much to ponder."

Before he could dismiss us, I moved to take a few steps closer to the stage- even though the tiger was there. This was too important. I knew what was at stake here. Letting him send us off without _really_ thinking it over, was not an option. Him not helping us, could not be an option. We needed all the people and resources we could gather. So, I did the only thing I could at that point. I tried.

"When I was a little girl, my dad used to tell me bedtime stories. There... there was this one that I could never seem to forget. It was about a road to a kingdom. In the road was a rock. People would just avoid it, but horses would break their legs on it and die, wagon wheels would come off. People would lose the goods they'd be coming to sell.

"One day, a little girl came across the rock, and just like many times before, the wheel of her wagon came off. She lost the cask of beer her family had brewed. It rolled right off and broke. The dirt in the road soaked it all up. It was gone. That was her family's last chance. They were hungry. They didn't have any money. And now they really had nothing. The girl sat there and cried. But then she wondered, why was the rock still there?

"Why was it still there, where someone else could get hurt? So, she dug it up. She dug at that rock with her hands till they bled. She used everything she had to pull it out. It took hours. And then when she was gonna fill it up, she saw something in it and stopped... it was a bag of gold."

"All right." Jerry beamed, totally engrossed in the story, just like everyone else.

Still looking to Ezekiel, I went on, "The King had put that rock in the road because he knew the person who dug it out deserved a reward. They deserved to have their life changed for the good. Forever."

Looking down at me, Ezekiel thought for a moment, his expression unreadable as he contemplated my words. I wasn't sure if the story would affect him the way I hoped. I wasn't sure if it would do anything really. But at least I'd tried.

Looking to the rest of my people, Ezekiel spoke again, "I invite you all to sup with us and stay till the morrow."

"Yeah, we need to get back home," dad told him.

But Ezekiel seemed to want us to stay. "I shall deliver my decree in the morn," he noted before banging his staff on the ground, dismissing us all.

**  
**

**Chapter 18**

**Together**

**DPOV**

Morgan had brought us to the building where he was staying and showed us a few empty rooms. Vic and I were lucky enough to be on our own. I think everyone realised we needed it, after being apart for so long. The room wasn't anything special, but it was a lot better than what I'd been dealing with for the last few nights.

Coming back in from having a shower, using the towel she'd been given to dry her hair, Vic smiled at me. Seeing as we didn't have any extra clothes with us, she was back in the grey shirt she'd been wearing today, but her jeans sat at the end of the bed.

My eyes looked her legs up and down as she came to the edge of the bed, looking out the window that was close by. "Come 'ere." Reaching over, I grabbed her shirt and tugged her onto the bed.

She laughed lightly as she moved to lie next to me on the soft mattress.

My arm wrapped around her as my face buried itself into her hair. Breathing her in, I let myself enjoy the moment where it was just the two of us, and nothing was wrong. It was rare to have a second like this, and there was no chance in hell that I was letting it pass easily.

"Missed you," I mumbled against her.

"Missed you, too," she said back as her arms moved to wrap around me. "When I saw you that first day... it broke my heart to think about what they might be doing to you."

Pulling away slightly, I looked down at her, brushing some hair behind her ear. "Fine now. They ain't ever gonna take me away from you again."

She smiled lightly, her hand coming up to cup my cheek. "I know."

Leaning down, I pressed a light kiss to her lips. She hummed against me as I rolled over so I was on top of her. My leg slipping between her legs- which were already moving to warp around my hips.

"Daryl," she breathed as I trailed kisses to her neck.

It had been too long since I'd felt her. Since we'd been this close. I needed this, just as much as I was sure she did. But there was something else. Something else I needed to ask before we could go any further.

"Vic?" Pulling back slightly- though I made sure to keep my body pressed to her- I avoided her gaze as I asked, "You still want a baby?"

She froze. I felt her tense completely and pull away the moment the words had left my lips. "Daryl... do you really think it's an appropriate time?"

"No," I admitted. "But we ain't gonna catch a break."

"Good point." She shifted so she could look into my eyes. "I'm not saying I want a baby, and I'm not saying I don't. If it happens, it happens. All that really matters to me is that you're safe. And that you remember, no matter what, that I love you."

"I love you, too."

Giving me a small smile, she pulled herself up to press her lips against mine in a deeper and heated kiss. All conversation dropped as our clothes were thrown across the room.

**VPOV**

Daryl had fallen asleep after we'd made love. I'd tried to join him, but found myself tossing and turning. I couldn't stop thinking, my brain on overdrive. My head was too loud and busy for me to settle down long enough to catch some sleep. The last thing I'd wanted was to wake Daryl up, so I'd gotten up to explore The Kingdom. That's how I'd managed to find myself standing by the tiger's cage.

Once I'd found out Shiva- the tiger- was nice, I found no reason to leave. Now that it was dark out, most people had seemed to disappear. Having no one to distract me meant I had no reason not to stay with the tiger for a moment or so longer.

Smiling at the wild animal, I couldn't help myself... moving slowly and carefully, I reached into the cage- though not by much. Shiva came over to my hand and gave it a cautious sniff before she rubbed her cheek against it like any other cat might. My smile grew as she allowed me to scratch behind her ear.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so relaxed. Well… unless you're with Daryl."

"He can be an animal too, when he wants." I grinned as I briefly looked over at where Jesus leaned in the doorway.

Shaking his head, an amused smile on his lips, he stepped a little closer. "I never know what to expect from you. That's probably how I didn't realise you weren't going to jump out of the truck when you said you would… you know, the other day when we were going to find Negan." he looked at me pointedly.

Pulling my hand out of the cage carefully, I turned to give him a sheepish look. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"No, you're not," he noted simply.

As much as I wanted him to believe it, I had a feeling Jesus wasn't the easiest person to convince unless it was the truth. But seeing as I was lying, and that I wasn't sorry, I knew there was no way he was going to believe it. So, there was no point in trying.

"You're right. I'm not." I shrugged. "I needed you out of the way, and out of danger. I've already lost enough friends, I didn't want you to get hurt as well."

"But it was okay for Carl to go with you?"

Unable to stop myself, I rolled my eyes. "You really think I could have stopped him?" When he didn't speak, I took that as an answer. "Exactly. And besides, me showing up with Carl would be easier to explain, than if I'd showed up with you."

"That's not the point, Victoria. You could have gotten hurt. They could have killed you. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about my family!" I snapped, causing Shiva to growl. Glancing at the tiger, I calmed myself as I went on, "I was thinking about my husband. My daughter. My friends. I was thinking about all the people I could help."

"How? By killing him?"

"I wasn't going there to kill Negan."

Jesus suddenly paused a moment as he slowly began to frown. "Then why did you-"

Before he could finish, a third person came around the corner. It was Daryl.

He looked confused. He had that look in his eyes that he only ever got when he felt the need to protect me. He didn't even glance at Shiva as he moved over to Jesus and myself. As he spoke, he kept his eyes on Jesus while he directed the question to me.

"Everything a'right?"

"Everything's fine." I hoped I sound reassuring enough that he'd believe me.

If I was being honest, I was freaking out a little. Had he heard us? If so, how much had he heard? Had I said anything I probably shouldn't have? Or does he think something is going on between Jesus and myself? Is that why he looks like he's ready to rip Jesus apart? Was he jealous? Or maybe he thought Jesus and I were fighting, and he's just concerned for me?

Reading the room and seeing that he wasn't welcome- by Daryl at least- Jesus started to back up to the exit. "I think I'll just leave you two alone." He nodded. "I'll see you in the morning," was the last thing he said before he disappeared.

Daryl waited a moment or two before he turned to look at me for the first time since he'd entered the room. "You wanna tell me what you were talking about?" One look in his eyes and I knew he'd heard us.

"Why should I?" I shrugged. "You already know, don't you?"

"I wanna hear it. I wanna hear it from you. I wanna know why you went there, Vic."

Sighing, I shook my head and turned away from him. "It doesn't matter, okay?"

"No." He grabbed my arm to stop me, walking around so he stood in front of me again. "You know what it felt like, seein' you there? Seein' him so close to you? Felt like tearing him apart. Tearin' you away. Never thought you'd do something so stupid. 'Specially after what he did to Glenn and Abraham. So, why'd you do it? Why'd you go?"

Looking up into his eyes, seeing his searching mine, I knew he wasn't going to let this go, and that no lie would suffice. He needed to know the truth, and I think I needed to tell him. I think I needed that weight off my shoulders.

I took a deep breath before saying, "Negan offered me a deal..."

When I fell silent for a moment too long, Daryl pressed, "What deal, Vic?"

"He said... he said that he would let you go free... if I took your place."

I knew the time between me finishing and Daryl starting was only a few seconds. But it felt like hours. I felt like days. Hell, even weeks. During the longest seconds of my life, I envisioned every possible response that might come from Daryl. There was an unlimited amount of reactions he could give, and I had no idea what to expect. But there was one thing I knew for sure... he wasn't going to be happy.

"No." He shook his head. "No. No way in hell. Ain't letting that prick anywhere near you. You ain't goin' there, Vic. Won't let you."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "First of all, it's not going to happen, because you're already free. Secondly... you can't stop me from doing anything, Daryl. If I wanted to go, I'd go."

"No," he almost growled. _Almost_.

"I'm a grown woman. I can handle myself."

"Don't matter. It ain't happenin'."

"Why are we even arguing about this?" I sighed, taking a step back. "I already told you it's not gonna happen, so let's just drop it."

"I will, soon as I know you understand. I won't let you put yourself in danger."

I gave him a pointed look, tilting my head slightly. "There's that word again. 'Let'." I shook my head at him. "You don't _let_ me do anything. You can't stop or make me do anything. I am my own person, Daryl. I make my own decisions."

"Not if you gonna do somethin' stupid."

" _Stupid_?" Now I was getting worked up. "I was going to do it to save you. Asshole." I shoved his chest. "I was doing it, _for you_. So, don't you dare tell me it was stupid. I'd do anything, _anything,_ for you, Daryl. And don't say another word, because I know you'd do anything for me."

"That's different," he grunted.

I scoffed, "How? Why? Because you're a man? Because you're older than me? Or is it because you think I'm weak? You think I can't handle it? Why is it different, Daryl? Tell me."

"'Cause you already been hurt!" he snapped. "Been shot, stabbed, Goddamn raped! You really think I'd let you go to a man like him? You know what he'd do to you? I won't let him get the chance to lay another finger on you! Won't let you put yourself in danger like that again! You been through too much, Vic. Ain't gonna let anything else happen to you." He was breathing heavily, looking down at me with dark, angered eyes.

His words had shocked me. I knew he was worried about me, and I knew why... but to hear the words actually come out of his mouth. Never had he actually said the words out loud. Never had he actually said I'd been raped. It showed me how serious this was to him. It told me what he thought would happen...

Before I realised what I was doing, I threw myself at him. He caught me easily, despite the fact I'd caught him off guard.

Wrapping my legs around him as his hands grasped my waist, I pressed my entire body against his, pressed my lips against his in a deep and hungry kiss. The adrenaline of the argument had my blood pumping. It brought out the more animal side of me, and it seemed Daryl was reacting the same way.

He growled, turning us away from the cage so he could press me against the wall. I was sandwiched, but didn't care. Being able to feel all of him, just drove me desire up a notch... or twenty. I needed him. I desperately, and absolutely, needed him.

We both grabbed at each other's shirts, pulling and tugging until the offending clothes were thrown to the floor.

"Daryl," I groaned against his lips as I began to grind myself against him, feeling his hard member growing against me.

"Need you." he grunted in my ear.

I nodded against him, nails digging into his back. "Need you, too."

Using the wall and his body to keep me up Daryl moved his hands to my pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. He shifted me so he could pull both my pants and underwear off, while I grabbed at his jeans and started to do the same. The moment we were both bare enough we forget about everything else as he lifted me back up, wrapped my legs around him one more, before he pushed himself into me.

I let out a sound that was somewhere between a moan and a scream. Thrusting against each other, we grabbed everything and anything we could, our hands sliding over every inch of skin. We couldn't get enough of each other. We needed to have everything the other had.

His thrusts were long, and hard. The pace was slow at first. We wanted to feel all of each other, feel every line, reach every spot that made us want to scream. But soon enough, he began to pick up the speed, pumping in and out of me like an animal.

My nails dug into his back, his fingers gripped onto my ass. Our bodies slammed together. The room filled with the sound of our moans, groans, and sweaty bodies coming together over and over. Nothing else existed outside of us at that moment. Nothing else mattered.

"Daryl," I moaned, my head falling back to rest against the wall.

He grunted in response, reaching over to press his lips to my neck, biting me there as he worked us to our climax.

I was close, I could feel it. The way my insides began to buzz coming alive with every stroke, with every thrust. He touched every spot that made my nerves ring and my core clench, pushing me that little bit closer to the edge every time he moved.

Shifting us ever so slightly, Daryl used the wall to keep me up so he could free a hand. With our foreheads pressed together, I watched as he slid that hand down to the bundle of nerves between my legs. One stroke and I was in heaven.

I pushed back, arching into him as a scream erupted from my lungs. A scream of pure ecstasy. Every cell in my body hummed as my orgasm took over my senses. I felt a rush of bliss and euphoria. Nothing felt as incredible as the feeling of Daryl pushing me over into the trance like state I fell into after being connected to him like this.

As I rode the orgasm out, Daryl wasn't too far behind me. I felt his thrust become uneven before he twitched, emptying himself inside me, pushing me over the edge once more- only not as intense this time.

It took a moment before we were both come down from our highs. Breathing heavily, I leaned forward to rest my head on his shoulder. He leaned forward as well, pressing a kiss to my neck. Our bodies with covered in sweat, our clothes surrounding us on the floor.

**RPOV**

"This is life here," Ezekiel started as well all gathered behind him, watching as some of his people practised shooting bow and arrows. "Every day. But it came at a cost." He turned to us. "And I wanted more of this. I wanted to expand. To create more places like this. Men and women lost their limbs. Children lost their parents because I sent them into battle against the wasted when I did not need to."

"This is different," I argued.

"It isn't."

"It is. The dead don't rule us. The world doesn't look like this outside your walls. People don't have it as good. Some people don't have it good at all."

"I have to worry about my people."

As I turned away, holding myself back, Daryl took a step forward. "You call yourself a damn king. You sure as hell don't act like one."

Ezekiel walked over to him. "All of this came at a cost. It was lives, arms, legs." He gestured to his people for a second before he stepped back so he could look to Vickie and myself. "The peace we have with the Saviours is uneasy, but it is peace. I have to hold on to it. I have to try. Although the Kingdom cannot grant you the aid you desire, the King is sympathetic to your plight. I offer our friend Daryl asylum for as long as he requires it. He will be safe here. The Saviours do not set foot inside our walls."

"How long do you think that's gonna last?" Daryl asked before he turned around to leave, the rest of our group not too far behind him.

**VPOV**

I walked beside to Daryl, my hand in his as we neared the front gate of the Kingdom. We walked at the front of the group, leading everyone else. I knew they all wanted out of here as much as I did at that point. If weren't going to get help from Ezekiel and his people, I didn't want to waste our time.

As we reached the gate, Daryl called to the guards. "All right, open it up. We're gone."

The gates opened, allowing our people to walk out. But before Daryl and I could, dad stopped us.

"You're not." He looked to Daryl.

Daryl looked from dad, to me, and then back. "I ain't stayin' here."

"You have to. It's the smartest play. You know it is," dad noted. " _Try_ to talk to Ezekiel. Or stare him into submission." He shrugged, a slight grin on his lips. "Whatever it takes. We'll be back soon."

I nodded, giving Daryl's hand a squeeze. "We will."

He looked down at me, clearly unsure about this. But we both knew I couldn't stay and he couldn't come.

Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to my lips. One that was hopeful and scared. One that tried to tell me just how much he hated this plan, but also how much he loved me.

I was the one to pull away and to start baking up. Neither of us said anything as the gates began to close. I didn't turn my back until I could no longer see him, my heart aching to be back by his side already.

**  
**

**Chapter 19**

**Consequences**

**NPOV**

I raised Lucille and knocked her on the metal door between Dwight and myself. "Good mornin', sunshine." I grinned as I leaned against the wall outside his cell. "Is it just as cosy as you remember? You spent a lot of time on the wrong side of the door after that stupid road trip with the wife and Tina. So, let's talk about now."

We'd spent the night on the road after leaving Alexandria, not wanting to risk bringing the ass-load of dead pricks home, so we'd gotten back yesterday. That's when I found out that Fat Joey was dead and he place had turned to shit. While I was trying to fix everything I realised two things.

One Daryl was gone.

And two… so was one of my wives.

I was too busy to send a search party out for either of them, because I needed as many hands on deck as I could get, in order to deal with Dwight- who I had a gut feeling was responsible for Daryl _and_ my missing wife. I also had to sort Fat Joey's body out, which was not something I'd wanted to do. He wasn't a friend, but he wasn't an asshole.

Taking a breath, I filled him in on what he'd missed. "We went out looking for your little _failed_ project for a few hours, just around the perimeter. Tip to taint, as it were. Right about the time I had you thrown in here, and when I got back, I realised I was short a wife."

There was a pause before I heard him speak. "Which one?"

"Sherry," I answered, voice barely above a whisper. "You know anything about that, Dwighty boy? 'Cause I got to tell you, that is one hell of a coincidence, her leaving just a few short hours after Daryl took off. Oh, and he didn't force his way out. No. Somebody opened the door for him."

"It wasn't Sherry," he assured me.

"Dwighty boy was it you?" I asked. "Did it work the other way around? You were supposed to break him. Did he break you? I mean, let's face it... you've got some pretty legitimate grievances. You change your stripes on me, Dwighty? You startin' to see things different?" I raised Lucille and banged her on the door again. "After all this, before and after. Hell, after everything. Who are you, Dwight?"

"I'm Negan."

Sighing, I unlocked the door and looked down at him. "Daryl isn't like you. He's emotional. So, he's either on his way home and to the wife, or he's coming back here to try to kill some more of us. Mostly you and me. Either way, we'll find him," I assured him. "So, do you think you know where Sherry went?"

He nodded, head low. "Yeah."

"Bring her back. Sort it out." I turned to Dr Carson, who was standing behind me. "Stitch him up. Fix what you can fix."

With that, I turned and walked down the hall. There was still a mountain load of rap to sort out, and the day was just beginning.

**VPOV**

We were on the road, back in our car, driving back home, when a voice came through the radio Jesus had taken from a Saviour…

" _For anyone out there who loved the obese bastard as much as I did, I just want to say a few words. Fat Joey was not the most badass son-of-a-bitch, but he was loyal. He had a great sense of humor. In fact, we were just joking about oral sex with Lucille the other day. Things will not be the same now that he's dead. Without Fat Joey, Skinny Joey is just,_ " Negan sighed, " _Joey. So it's a goddamn tragedy. So, let's have a moment of silence._ "

The brakes squealed as we came to a stop, unable to go any further. In front of us were rows of cars blocking the bridge we were currently on.

"Someone's trying to block the way. Gotta be the Saviours," Jesus noted.

"Look." Carl- who was next to me- nodded to my window. "I think that's their base over there."

I looked over to see a building. He was right. I knew he was. It's not like I'd be forgetting that place anytime soon…

"Yeah, that's it," Jesus agreed from Carl's other side. "Must be trying to make it hard to get to them."

Dad sighed, turning his attention back to the cars blocking our way. "We gotta keep going. We'll move them, and then we'll move them back. They don't need to know we were here," he told us as he pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car.

We all followed, heading over to start moving the vehicles out of the way. I went with Jesus and Tara, while Carl and dad worked together, Rosita and Sasha worked alone, and Michonne kept an eye out. In a short amount of time, we actually managed to get quite a bit done. That was until Michonne called us over.

"Rick. Vickie. Come take a look at this."

Dad and I headed over to her to see what she'd spotted. Taking the binoculars first, dad looked in the direction where Michonne had gestured, before he handed them to me, a curious look on his face.

Frowning, I took the binoculars to take a look for myself. When I turned to see, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

**RPOV**

Very carefully, on my knees, I leaned over to take a look at the trip wire that was connected to the line of explosives on the bridge. Whoever had set it up clearly knew what they were doing. It almost looked professional.

"What's all this for?" Michonne asked as she looked at the line from the other side of the road

"Wait." Carl turned to Vickie as they stood close by to me. "Didn't we hear about this in the back of the truck? Didn't those guys mention something about explosives."

Vickie nodded. "Yeah. They said it's for a heard of walkers."

"That's why it's a steel cable," Rosita started. "It's not just for one walker. It's for a lot."

Sasha- who had been looking over the line- came over to me. "We need these explosives."

I stood, turning to nod at her. "Yeah. But we have to figure out how to disarm it first."

Rosita moved to a grate on the ground, kneeling down to lift the lid. Underneath we could see wires and everything you needed to make a bomb go off…

"Uh… okay." Tara took a step back.

Rosita glanced over her shoulder at Tara. "Backing up is not gonna make a difference if this thing goes off."

" _We got ourselves a red situation,"_ Negan's voice came through the radio again. Though this time he was pissed. " _I need a search party. See if Daryl ran home like the dumb animal that he is._ "

" _On it,_ " another voice called back. I recognised it as Simon's, Negan's right-hand man. " _Be there in time for lunch._ "

" _Turn that sleepy little burg upside down. And bring me a gift if you can't find him,_ " Negan told him.

"We gotta go," Michonne note. "We gotta get there before them, but we need these." She gestured to the explosives. "We need to clear a path anyway."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Rosita?" I looked down at her.

Working carefully, she managed to disarm the bomb. "First part's done."

"What now?" Michonne asked.

Rosita gestured to the explosives hanging on the able. "We gotta unwrap the secondary explosives. The dynamite, the RPGs. Make sure these casings are not messed up, and do not mess them up, either. This thing could still blow."

"You all heard her. Let's go."

Everyone turned to get to work, moving to a set of explosives each. We used our knives to careful pry the explosives off, cutting at the binds without cutting their casings. Then we slowly and gradually pulled out the last connection to the cable, so we could take them away.

As we moved to set them down on the road outside the car, Rosita watched us, making sure they were all in decent shape and condition.

"You can load the explosives into the trunk as long as they're in good shape," she explained. "No dents, no tears. They're not live. They still need to be triggered to be set off. "

"Dad. Look," Carl called.

I turned from the explosives I'd been working on to look down the road. Coming around the corner was a large herd of walkers, headed right this way.

"Okay." I turned to everyone. "There they are. But they're far. We still have time."

"You sure?" Sasha asked, clearly nervous.

Vickie walked past her, heading for some more explosives. "He's right. We need everything we can get our hands on if we wanna win."

"And we need to get the cars back in front of the on ramp," I added.

"They'll know we took their explosives, so does it matter?" Jesus asked.

"We want that herd to stay on the highway."

Tara frowned as I handed her the explosives I'd just pried off the cable. "Why?"

"We may need it," I told her.

"Okay. Tara, Carl, Vickie, come on!" Rosita called from the trunk of the car where she was stacking the explosives.

The four of them got in the car before they drove off so they could put the other vehicles back into place. Meanwhile, Sasha, Jesus, Michonne and I stayed to get the rest of the explosives.

Once she pried a bundle off, Sasha stood and turned to the coming herd. "Uh... Rick."

I looked up to see the herd coming fast that Id anticipated. "All right. Sasha, Jesus, can you get back to the Hilltop on foot?"

"Yeah." Sasha nodded.

"Tell Maggie we're not giving up," I told them. "Go!"

"Here." Sasha placed the explosives on the ground in front of me, before she rushed off following Jesus into the bushes.

Once they were gone I turned to Michonne. "We need every stick, every RPG."

"Yeah." She nodded, both of us moving as quickly as we could while still trying to be careful. Looking over her shoulder to check the others Michonne tensed. "Rick. They're gonna cut them off. Can we just split up?"

"No." I shook my head, grabbing the explosives and standing up to look at the two vehicles that the cable was attached to. "The cars. If they run-"

"We lay on the horn when we start it," she finished.

"I'll bring my arm down, and we go."

"Yes."

"Stay together!" I called as me both hurried to a vehicle each.

Getting into the car, I laid down on the floor and pulled the wires out so I could hot-wire it. Working as carefully and quickly as I could, it ended up taking e just a few moments before the engine came to life, the car turning on.

Shifting, I set myself in the seat, made sure the explosives were safe on the spot next to me, before I closed the door and looked over to Michonne. Once I was sure she was ready to go I lifted my hand in the air. Then I let it drop signalling for us both to go

We both moved at the same time, honking our horns as we headed start for the walkers. We ran straight through them, cutting them up as we sped along the road until we were loser to the others.

Stopping the cars, we hurried out as fast as we could, using whatever we had on us to fight through the herd, while also making sure the explosives weren't damaged or dropped.

Eventually we made it to the car as Vickie opened a door for us. As soon as we were in Tara sped off. With the door now closed and the car now moving, I turned, breathing heavily, looking out the back window. Suddenly, an explosion went off where we'd left the walkers.

Rosita shook her head from where she sat in the front passenger seat. "Yeah, I didn't like the look of that shit at all."

Still breathing heavily, I looked to Michonne. "I pushed it. I pushed it."

She leaned over to sit closer to me. "We're here," she whispered to me. "You can smile. We made it. We can make it. We can. We're the ones who live."

**NPOV**

"We'll send Simon over to take a peak, sort of good-cop this thing first, see how far we get," I explained to some of my Saviours as we stood outside by the walker fence. Movement to my right caught my attention. I turned to see the guy from Alexandria walking out with Laura right behind him. "There he is. Man of the hour! Come on over here, big fella." He did as I said and came to stand in front of me, cowering but silent. "Don't be rude, asshole. Say hello."

"H-h-hello," he stammered.

"You got a name, asshole?" I asked.

"Eugene."

I nodded. "Now us." Turning, I gestured to the gathered Saviours. "Who are you?"

"I'm Negan," they all answered at the same time.

"Well, Eugene I know you remember Lucille." I raised her so he could see her. "Now, you see this right here? You might have to get real close. That, my friend, is the bullet you made. Now, under normal circumstances, I'd be showing you that real close over and over again. But, Eugene, see, all I really want to know is if you are a smarty-pants. You know things?" When he stayed silent, I pressed, "Answer the question."

It took a moment for him to respond, but he eventually managed. "I- I am, indeed, a smarty-pants. I taught myself to cast bullets. I found a- found a machine shop with the necessary I-I read a lot, and, um... although my- Even though my memory is not considered eidetic, I don't skim and I don't scrimp. If knowledge is dropped, I do, indeed, pick it up."

I shook my head, chuckling at him. _Seriously?_ "Oh, you really are just some asshole."

He actually seemed offended. "N-No. I'm not. I have PhDs in biochemistry, as well as immunology and microbiology, and I've completed my doctorate, which makes me a doctor. Prior to the collapse, I was part of a ten-person team at the Human Genome Project, working under Dr T. Brooks Ellis to weaponize diseases to fight weaponized diseases. Fire with, uh… you know f-fire. Well, see, interdepartmental drinks were-"

As the dead pricks by the fence began to growl a little louder Eugene fell silent. We all turned to see one of the dead pricks fall apart right in front of us…

_Je-sus._

"Uh-huh," I sighed. "All right, Dr Smarty-pants. You ought to be able to crack this without breaking a sweat. You see, I have a lot of free labour here at the fence. Living dead pricks that help keep the riffraff out. Problem is, they don't keep. They fall apart. Like that poor sack of… pile of shit there. So, Dr Smarty-pants, how do we keep them on their feet?"

"Uh." Shifting on the spot, looking around, clearly nervous, Eugene thought about it before answering. "You, um smelt on the regs, correct? I saw that among the legacy equipment on the floor that you possess an operational smelter."

"And?" I pressed

"You already possess the means to resolve your issue. Step one, melt down scrap metal. Step two, pour it over the compromised walker as they are in contact with the chain link. The liquid metal will harden both maintaining bodily integrity for the walker as well as affixing them to the fence. Bonus points for covering their head and protecting them from head trauma from hostiles and calamities."

_Ho-ly shit!_

"God damn! If that ain't the coolest thing I've ever heard in my life! Not only is that practical, it is just bad-ass! Whoa. Look at you, Dr Smarty-pants." Stepping up to him, I put my arm over his shoulders. "Did Rick have you doing this kind of valuable stuff for him?" He just shook his head. "Oh. His loss, our gain." I stepped back. "I feel like I need to give you some kind of signing bonus here."

"Uh, w-well, I was- I was gifted these pickles." He gestured to the jar of pickles he held to his chest.

I just chuckled. "No. As a token of my gratitude, I'm gonna send you over a few of my wives to your apartment tonight, show you a good time."

Looking at him, I was pretty sure I had nothing to worry about. Not only would he stand no chance with my wives, but I was pretty sure he wouldn't know what to do if something did come up. But still, better to be safe than sorry…

"Now, I don't think I have to worry about this. But who knows how truly smart you are? No sex. That is a grave no-no. However, you can have a little dinner, some drinks, share a few laughs. There is nothing like beautiful women that smell good to make you feel human again."

"I wouldn't know anything about that," he mumbled before looking up at me nervously. "D-D-Did you say 'wives', meaning plural?"

"Hell yes, I did." I nodded. "What does Dr Smarty-pants say to his knew bestest friend in the whole wide world?" He was silent once more as he looked around at the others again. I whistled, getting his attention. "What does he say?

"Thank you," he rushed out. "Fully, completely sincerely, seriously, thank you."

"Okay." A grin found its way onto my lips before I gestured to the building. "Why don't you go have some fun?"

**VPOV**

Dad, Michonne, Carl, Tara, Rosita and I walked through the gates, seeing Tobin headed our way, a confused frown on his face. "Lose the car?"

"Uh, it's somewhere safe," dad told him.

"You didn't find anything." It wasn't a question.

It's not like we could tell everyone that we'd left in the hopes of finding a way to beat Negan and his people. We could put that pressure on everyone else. So, instead we'd told them we were going out to find supplies. Seeing as we came back with nothing, I understand the disappointed look on Tobin's face.

"No. Listen, we need to get everyone ready. The-" Before dad could finish we all turned at the sound of vehicles approaching.

I took a step forward to stand next to dad, my hand instinctively moving to rest on the hilt of my knife as it sat on my belt. Watching as motorbikes, a pickup and some trucks come in through the gates, I knew things weren't going to end well. I could just feel it.

The pickup door opened as Simon stepped out, grinning at us. "Rick. Hello. And," he gave a bow of his head as he walked over to us, "hello again."

"We thought it'd be longer," dad noted.

Simon came to stop a few steps in front of us. "Do you think we're here for a tribute? Do you?" he asked, resting his hands on his belt.

I shrugged. "Should there be another reason?"

Chuckling lightly, Simon turned all his attention to me. "Funny you should ask. See, we're here for Daryl."

"Negan took Daryl," I spat, not hiding my attitude.

"Oh, but then you and your brother showed up, and Daryl went missing. Might those two things be connected?"

"They're not," dad assured him. "We didn't know he was gone till right now."

"Then this should be easy." Simon looked to all our people who'd gathered around. "Now, everyone find a buddy. Gonna have to follow us around. If he's here, we really need you all to see him die." Before anyone could move, he turned his attention back to me. "You, Victoria… you're with me."

 

…

 

"If anyone touches my daughter or her things, it won't end well," I muttered to Simon as we walked down the street, dad and some of the other following- though my voice was low enough so they couldn't hear.

"Is that a threat, Victoria?"

"Not from me," I answered, refusing to look up at him. "Negan said that if anyone touched the kids or their stuff, he'd break their fingers."

Giving a short nod, Simon looked to the path in front of us again. "Don't worry. We know the rules," he assured me as we came around the corner and walked over to the pantry.

One look inside and I felt my insides drop.

"Wow." Simon whistled as he stepped up to the empty shelves. "These are some bare shelving units. You guys have a barbecue or something and not invite us? Seriously, this is sad. Hope you're not trying to hide stuff from us, 'cause that generally doesn't go over very well."

Aaron- who had come to walk with our group- looked to Simon. "We have a lot of people. It's getting harder to find stuff, and our focus lately has been on finding things that Negan might want. We're still adjusting to the new system."

"We were gonna scavenge more today. If you just wait, we'll bring something back," dad suggested. "We'll find more."

"Aw." Simon chuckled. "Relax! I'm not here for a pick-up. Good thing. But that day is coming, so you best do whatever you need to. Dig deep. Go the extra mile." Simon hit his hands against the metal shelves. "Take some risks!"

"We will," Michonne assured Simon.

Simon turned to her. "Well, we will appreciate that."

 

…

 

Back at the truck, the search over, Simon spoke as he walked between dad and myself. "Thank you for the cooperation. My apologies for leaving the place a bit of a mess, but we got a litany of other shit to attend to." He gestured to all the vehicles they had with them. "So do you, I guess. Tick-tock. Chop-chop." He nodded as the pickup come to stop by us. Simon headed over to it, only to pause and turn back again. "Oh! I almost forgot. Victoria." A wide, charming smile spread across his lips as he opened the vehicle's back door.

He didn't need to say the words for me to understand. I already knew this was coming. I think I knew the moment I saw Daryl at the Hilltop. There was no way in hell Negan was just going to let Daryl leave without there being repercussions. It looked like I was the one that was going to have to face those consequences…

As I took a step forward, dad moved in front of me. "She's not going with you."

Simon looked to him, clearly not amused. "Actually, she is. Boss wants her to take Daryl's place."

Carl came to stand on my side. "No."

Sighing, his hands on his belt, Simon moved away from the pickup as he looked to my dad and brother. "Don't make me do something I don't want to do. Negan wants Victoria. She comes. End of discussion."

I could tell things were about to go south. Dad and Carl, hell all our people, they'd do whatever it takes to keep me safe. But Simon had orders, and I could tell he was the kind of person to do what he was told. No one was going to stand down here. It was up to me to settle the situation before it blew up in our faces.

Taking a deep breath, I walked around to stand in front of dad and turned to face him. "Hey, it's okay." I waited until his eyes dragged over to meet mine before I added, "I gotta do this, or they'll hurt someone else."

When dad realised I wasn't going to put up a fight and that he was about to lose me, I saw the colour wash from his face as his eyes went wide with fear.

"Victoria…"

Giving him a forced smile, I pulled my knives from my belt and handed them to him. "Do me a favour and take care of Aly and Houdini. And make sure no one does anything stupid while I'm gone." Looking down at my hand, I took a deep breath and pulled my wedding ring off, handing it over as well. "I love you guys."

Before anyone else could say or do anything more, I turned and walked away.

I passed Simon without giving him a glance. I reached the pickup without paying any attention to the Saviours. I climbed up onto the back seat without turning back to my family. I just took a deep breath and kept my gaze on the back of the seat in front of me as I felt the last few remnants of my sanity begin to chip away.

Simon came over and closed my door before he climbed up into his own spot and closed his door as he called out to dad. "And Rick, if Daryl does turn up here, two days from now, two months from now, hell, two years from now, just know there's no statute of limitations on this. Keep that hatchet handy. You're gonna need it if he turns up with you people"

With that, the Saviour behind the wheel drove off, leaving my family behind as they watched me disappear.

**RPOV**

It took everything I had not to break down as I stood there watching the pickup drive away. The pickup that my daughter sat in. I couldn't believe Vickie was gone. But we'd get her back, I'd make sure of it.

Taking a breath, I turned to Eric and Aaron. "What happened to the pantry?

"We don't know," Aaron started. "And we need to talk about Gabriel."

"Where is he?"

"He was on watch the night you all went to scavenge," Tobin explained as he walked over from closing the gate. "I was supposed to take over for him in the morning. He wasn't at his post."

"Pantry was cleared out and a car was gone," Aaron added.

"No one's seen him since," Eric finished.

Rosita scoffed, "That son of a bitch. He stole our shit and ran."

"That's what it looks like." Tobin nodded.

Michonne shook her head. "Well, I don't want to believe it."

"I don't believe it," I told them. "That's not Gabriel. He wouldn't do that to us."

"I thought he changed, too, but it can't be anything else." Rosita seemed pretty sure she was right.

"Yes, it can," I insisted walking off.

 

…

 

We stood in the armoury… or well, what was left of it. Even our knives were gone. It looked like Gabriel had really taken everything. The only thing left was his Bible, which sat on the ground, open and facing down.

"I can't believe he would just take our stuff and go." Tara sounded so disappointed as she paced the small space. "I mean, that's- that's not who he is."

"Well, he saw Olivia and Spencer die right in front of him," Michonne noted, trying to explain his reason for leaving.

"I know. I just-" Tara sighed. "He found his courage, you know? I want to believe he held on to it."

I reached down and grabbed his Bible. "Why wouldn't he have taken this with him? Why would he leave it on the floor?"

Aaron walked around the corner then, followed by Rosita and Eric. "There weren't tracks out there before. We didn't find anything now. Maybe Daryl or Vickie could've picked something up."

"He left." Rosita wasn't even giving any other opportunities a chance. "He didn't leave a note. He obviously doesn't want to be found."

Ignoring her I flicked through the Bible, trying to find clues. That's when I spotted something on the back page. "Yes, he does." I turned to show Aaron the single word written on the page, 'Boat'.

Aaron frowned. "How would he know we were out there?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

**DPOV**

I was walking around the Kingdom, doing everything I could to try and distract myself. But it wasn't really working. Even though Vic and the others had only left a few hours ago, I still felt nervous, like something was wrong. I hated not being there, not being able to help them. What was worse was the fact that I was away from Vic again.

I'd only just got her back. To be away from her again…

As I rounded on of the building my thoughts were cut short. Morgan, Ezekiel and a few other people were piling out of some trucks…

"Hey," I called out, getting Morgan's attention. "Where'd you go in them trucks?"

He paused for a moment before turning to the kid next to him- Ben, I think his name was. They exchanged a few quick words and then went their separate ways, Morgan heading towards me while Ben went in the opposite direction.

As soon as Morgan was close enough, I spoke again. "You went to see them, right?"

He gave a short nod. "Yeah."

"Part of your deal?" When he didn't say anything, I shook my head at him. I couldn't believe this guy. After everything the Saviours have done… "What the hell's wrong with you? You're bleeding." I gestured to his ear. He lifted a hand to check, finding that I was right. "They did that to you. You know what they are."

"I do." Another short nod.

I looked him up and down. "You know, if Carol were here, she saw all that if she knew about Abraham and Glenn she'd be leading us right to them, ready to kill them all."

"She would. And that's why she left, man."

Scoffing, I turned and walked away, having nothing else to day. _He thinks she understands her? That's bullshit. This whole place is bullshit._

As I walked around, I found myself heading towards the targets where some people had been practising shooting bow and arrows before. Richard was there now. One look at him and I could see he was frustrated and annoyed. Almost as much as me.

Walking up to him, I watched as he shot another arrow, hitting close to the centre of the target.

Turning, he grabbed another arrow, spotting me as he did. "I'm practising." He set the arrow on the bow. "Gonna have to start using these more. The Saviours are smart enough to know I shouldn't have a gun around them." He took a shot, missing the centre again. "Morgan said you're a bowman." Moving back to the table where the arrows sat, he grabbed the crossbow that joined them before offering it to me.

I took it, but not without suspicion. "Why?"

"'Cause we want the same things," he answered. "I need your help."

**RPOV**

Aaron, Michonne, Rosita, Tara and I had gone looking for Gabriel. Carl had wanted to come, but I didn't think it was a good idea. Not when Vickie was now gone. Someone had to be there for Aly. If she found out and we were all gone, Vickie would never forgive us.

We'd found some tracks around the tree line that surrounded the lake where the boathouse was. Following it, we stayed vigilant as we carefully walked closer to buildings. If people were out here they wouldn't be too far now.

A thud had all of us turn around quickly, seeing a guy standing close to a truck, gun raised at us. Slowly, one by one, more and more people emerged from the long grass, bushes, vehicles and buildings. They all had guns, and were all aiming at us as they walked over to crowd us into a small circle.

I knew I should have been more concerned than I was, but I wasn't concerned at all. Looking around at the people as more and more appeared, I could help but think one thing. We've found ourselves an army. That thought alone had me finally smiling.

**  
**

**Chapter 20**

**Deals, Truths and Lies**

**VPOV**

Simon got out of the truck and moved to open the door for me. He took a step to the side, without saying a word, and waited. As silent as him, I slid out, my feet landing on the ground, picking up some of the dirt and dust as they did. I looked up at the building standing before me. It looked exactly like it did when I was last here. Looking to my left and around the truck I eyed the fence where several walkers still stood on guard.

_Yep, nothing's changed._

Having taken in my surroundings, I turned to Simon, an almost bored look on my face. I still said nothing as I waited for whatever was coming next.

Knowing I was now ready to get going, Simon gave a short nod of his head, his thumbs looping through his belt as he started for the entrance of the factory building the Saviours called home.

Following him, I didn't bother taking in my surroundings anymore. I'd been here before, I knew what there was to see.

We both stayed silent as Simon led me through hallways and walkways until we stood in front of a door. He came to a stop, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket. Bringing one of the keys to the door handle, he unlocked the room before opening the door and stepping aside.

Watching him carefully, I moved closer to the doorway. What I found was shocking, to say the least.

It was a small studio apartment-like room. The walls were an off white, and the floors were concrete. A window let in some natural air, and faced a decent view- that didn't include the walker fence, but was of some of the factory, and the woods behind it.

There was a double sized bed with a few pillows against the wall to my left. Across from that sat a two-seater couch which was on an angle so it could face the small television that was by the wall behind the door. There was a fridge and a microwave in the tiny kitchen area straight across from me. A few shelves sat by the living area and in the kitchen. A dresser sat by my left, while two smaller tables sat on either side of the bed.

It was nice.

"This is yours," Simon explained as he stood by me, still outside the room. "As long as you stay here, this is your place and yours alone."

I frowned, still feeling unsure, waiting for the strings to appear. You know, the strings that would pull me into a black hole of doom and into Negan's well laid out trap. The puppet strings Negan was no doubt waiting to tug mercilessly.

I didn't voice my concerns though. Instead I asked the main question that plagued my mind at that moment, "Why?"

Giving myself up was a little nerve wracking. I wasn't too sure what to expect, but I had never in a million years thought I'd be getting my own room. A cell, yes. But not a room. Especially not one like this.

He simply shrugged. "That's somethin' you'll have to ask the boss." He gestured over his shoulder. "We'll be keeping a guard outside to keep an eye on you and make sure you get whatever you need."

"You mean, you'll be keeping a guard outside so they can keep me from causing trouble, and report everything I do back to you." I gave him a knowing look. "I'm not an idiot."

"Negan just wants to make sure you're safe. And he certainly doesn't think you're an idiot." Simon sighed, "If I'm being honest, I don't trust you. I don't think Negan does either. But he doesn't trust some of his own people, either. So, knowing someone is watching you eases his mind."

His words did not sit right with me...

"He thinks someone might want to hurt me?"

"Your people did kill some of our people," he pointed out.

"True." I nodded. "But even if someone tried anything, I can handle myself. I don't need a babysitter."

Simon smiled then, and it actually looked genuine. "I haven't seen what you can do, but I've heard things. I have no doubt that you can handle yourself. Negan just likes to be prepared, for any just-in-case moments. He doesn't like surprises."

I believed him there. Negan was the kind of guy that liked to have everything organised and under his control. There was nothing in his life that he wouldn't have complete power over. He was clearly power hungry, and possessed a few control issues- a few dozen that is.

"You need anything, you ask Gary. I'm posting him on first watch," Simon told me as he started to turn, leaving me standing there alone, in the doorway.

"So... I'm just supposed to sit here and wait?"

He just turned to me, smiling widely. "I'm sure you'll find something to do." With that he closed walked away.

Groaning, I turned and stepped into the room, closing the door behind me. I hadn't even been here for an hour yet and I already hated being here.

**DPOV**

I followed Richard as he brought me to a caravan hidden in the forest, covered by trees and fallen branches. He loaded us up with guns, Molotov's and matches.

Once we were packed and ready, I followed him again as we headed out to a main road. Walking along it, I noticed Richard looking over his shoulder and down the road every once in a while. He seemed nervous, which wasn't exactly making me feel too good.

"We need something to move Ezekiel. This is it," he explained as I walked a step or so behind him. "Alexandria, the Hilltop, and the Kingdom hitting first, hitting hard, and then we wipe the Saviours from the Earth. Keeping people, dozens and dozens and dozens of good people keeping them safe."

I said nothing. I just listened. I didn't feel like there was much I could or should say. All that mattered was that we were going to hit the Saviours. I needed to get back at them, get retribution for Glenn and Abraham. If I had to listen to this guy go on, then I would. Whatever it takes.

We reached a broken-down delivery truck. Moving around to hid behind it, he spoke up again as we placed our bags on the ground and got ready.

"They ride this road. If we see cars, it's the Saviours. They've been coming in packs of two or three lately. That's why I need you. I can't take them alone. We're gonna hit them with the guns first and then the Molotov's. Then back to the guns until they're dead."

"Why the fire?" I asked as I moved around him so I could get into position.

"Needs to look bad. The Saviours who discover what's left we want them to be angry. I left a trail from here to the weapons cache I planted, to the cabin of that someone Ezekiel cares about."

I turned back to him then. "Who's that?"

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to kill Negan and all the Saviours. But I didn't want to drag some innocent, unaware person into this crap. I wouldn't do it. Sure, I said I'd do whatever it takes, but there's a line I definitely won't cross, and that's it.

He shrugged. "It's just some loner he met. Sometimes he brings food."

"Why don't they live in the Kingdom?"

"I don't know. She lives out there, she'll die out there."

 _Hold up…_ "It's a woman?"

"What does that matter? She's got more balls than you and me." He tugged on the chest gear he wore- that all of the Kingdom's soldiers seemed to wear. "She's gonna die either way. When the Saviours come and find their buddies dead, if they know their elbow from their asshole and can follow an obvious spoor, they're gonna go to the weapons cache and then to the cabin, and they're gonna attack this woman."

"What's her name?"

Ignoring my question, he continued to justify his reasons. "Maybe they kill her, maybe they don't, but it's gonna show Ezekiel what he needs to do."

"Her name. What is it?"

"She's tough. Maybe she'll live."

"Say her damn name!" I ordered, a warning in my tone.

Sighing, he finally told me what I wanted to hear. "Carol." He quickly went on, "I hoped you didn't know her, but I didn't think you'd care, 'cause you know what needs to happen."

"No." shaking my head, I walked passed him again, grabbing my bag.

"Maybe she'll live." He followed me, trying to get me to stay. "Look, this- this is how- this is how this could happen. This is how we can get rid of the Saviours, how we all can have a future. She's living out there on her own, just waiting to die."

"No!" I snapped, moving to leave.

It didn't matter what he said at that point. There was no way in hell that I was doing this if it meant putting her in danger.

He was right behind me, still talking. "If we don't do anything, a hell of a lot more people are gonna die, people who want to live!"

"You stay the hell away from Carol, you hear me?" I warned.

The sound of vehicles approaching had us both turn…

Richard looked around the truck to see who was coming. "It's them," he told me as he turned back around just as I aimed my crossbow at him. "Look, we can wait for things to go bad, we lose people or we can do the hard thing and choose our fate for ourselves."

"No."

"Sorry." He turned and lifted his gun, getting ready to shoot the vehicles.

Before he could move around the corner, I dropped the crossbow and grabbed him, pulling him back around and away from sight, before shoving him to the ground.

Getting on top of him, I used all my strength and weight to hold him down and keep him in place. We both struggled, breathing heavily. But he wouldn't stop fighting. He wouldn't stop trying. So, I did the only thing I could. Raising one fist at a time I punched few one, twice, three, four, five time.

Suddenly he grabbed the gun he'd dropped and used it to hit me over the head. I rolled off him, giving him time and space to get up.

But I wasn't going to make it easy for him. A second after he got up, I did as well, crossbow now back in my hands. We both turned and aimed at each other.

"There'll be more," he noted, out of breath. "Or those- they're gonna ride back this way later. We'll have another chance. But we're running out of time. If you and your people want to move against the Saviours you need to do it soon, and you need the Kingdom. What we have to do requires sacrifice one way or another. Guys like us, we've already lost so much."

"You don't know me."

"I know that Carol, living on her own like that," he shook his head, "she might as well be dead right now.

I lowered the crossbow, needing him to hear what I was about to say. "She gets hurt, she dies, if she catches a fever, if she's taken out by a walker if she gets hit by lightning, anything. Anything happens to her, I'll kill you." It wasn't a threat, or a warning. It was a promise.

He lowered his gun, shrugging. "I would die for the Kingdom."

"Why don't you?"

Turning around, I grabbed my bag and gun, before walking off, leaving him there, knowing he couldn't do it on his own. Not if he wanted his plan to go the way he wanted.

**RPOV**

We were brought to some kind of junkyard looking place. Herded into the middle of an open space, we all watched as the strangers circled us. They moved as if they'd practised every step hundreds of times. Even when they all eventually came to a stop, it was as if it was all some kind of routine.

"Are you a collective, or does one lead?" a woman who I couldn't see asked.

"This." I was suddenly pushed forward.

The crowd parted then as a tall and thin woman stepped up to me. Her hair fell an inch or so below her ears, the top half dark while the rest was a honey-like colour. She- like the rest of the strangers- was dressed in black, and in clothes that looked like they were from some kind of futuristic dystopian world…

But none of that mattered, at least not to me. No, all I cared about was the fact that we'd found more people. More people who could help us fight Negan and the Saviours. More people that could help us win.

"Hi." I nodded. "I'm Rick."

"We own your lives. You want to buy them back?" she asked. "Have anything?"

"Well, you have one of my people. Gabriel. I want to see him first. Then we can talk."

There was a slightly amused look in her eyes, but she still did as I asked, nodding to one of her people. We all waited for them to return, when they did, Gabriel was with them.

He looked unharmed. The only thing really out of place was the fact that he'd been stripped of his usual black shirt, now only left in a white tank top.

I nodded to him, giving a short and reassuring nod that I hoped would calm his nerves.

As I turned back to the leader of the strangers, she spoke up again. "The boat things you took got taken. Saw them, so we took the rest." She gestured to Gabriel with a tilt of her head. "And we took him."

"Well, then you know we have nothing to buy back our lives with," I noted. "That's what you'll have soon. Nothing. Because me and my people already belong to that group who took those supplies from the boat. They're called the Saviours. _They_ own our lives. And if you kill us, he'll be taking something from them. And they will come looking," I assured her. "You only have two options when it comes to the Saviours. Either they kill you or they own you. But there is a way out. Join us. Join us in fighting them."

There was a moment's pause as the amusement stayed lingering in her eyes, before she gave a simple and short shake of her head. "No."

Lifting her hand, she made a slight gesture which didn't seem like much but it was enough to get her people to start moving.

The woman who had brought Gabriel out turned around and took him away again. That's when the rest of the strangers started closing in on us. One grabbed at Rosita first, which was probably the worst thing they could have done.

Flinging her head back, Rosita headbutted the woman who'd grabbed her. Then she turned and grabbed at someone else. With that, everyone jumped in to fight.

I was struggling to keep the strangers away, not wanting to hurt- or kill- them. I didn't want to ruin what little chance we still might have. We needed these people and I was willing to do whatever it took to get them on our side.

"Everybody, stop! Just wait!" I called out to my people, and the others, hoping someone would listen.

"Let us go, or I will kill her!"

We all stopped and turned to see Gabriel and the woman back. Only this time, he stood behind her, a knife to her throat.

"Away from Tamiel now," the leader told him as if she was bored.

Ignoring the order, Gabriel tried to convince these people to join us. "The Saviours, they- they have other places, other communities. They have things. Food, weapons, vehicles, fuel. Whatever you want, the Saviours have it."

With another gesture of the leader's hand, everyone backed off.

"Away from Tamiel," the leader repeated. Once Gabriel did as she said _and_ tossed the knife to the ground, she nodded to him. "Your words now."

"If you join us and we beat them together, you can have much of what's theirs. Fighting with us, you'll be rewarded, more than you can imagine."

"Want something _now_ ," the leader noted.

Gabriel nodded to me. "Rick can do anything. This group?" He gestured to all of us. "They found me. Here, so far from our home. What do you need? Just tell us. We'll get it for you. We'll show you what we can do. Now."

There was another pause as the leader thought for a moment. Then she turned to Tamiel and a man. "Tamiel, Brion show Rick Up-Up-Up."

As Tamiel and Brion moved towards me I felt a hand slid into mine.

Looking down at the hand, I gave it a gentle squeeze before nodding to Michonne. "It's okay," I reassured her.

Once I was sure she was as calm as she would be, I let go of her hand and moved over to Tamiel and Brion, letting them walk me away from my group. I had no idea where we were going, or what I would be doing there, but at this point I was willing to do whatever it takes to build our army against Negan and the Saviours.

 

…

 

I stood with the leader, Tamiel and Brion up on top on of the higher mountains of junk. Looking around, I had the perfect view of the place. I was right, we were in a junkyard. It stretched on, and on, further than I could see…

"All of us, here since the change," the leader started. "We take. We don't bother. Things grow harder. We open cans, sometimes inside's rotten. Time's passed. Things are changing, again. So maybe we change. Maybe. Need to know you're real with this, that you're worth it."

Before I realised what she was doing, she reached forward and pushed me. I fell forward, rolling down the mountain of junk. The fall was hard. So hard that I was actually surprised I wasn't really hurt by the time I landed at the bottom.

Looking up, I found myself trapped. High and steep walls of junk surrounded me…

"What did you do?!" Michonne's voice called out to the strangers. "Rick!"

I got to my feet, following her voice, finding a long and wide pipe that ran all the way through the junk. Looking through it, I found Michonne on the other side.

"I'm all right," I reassured her, even though I wasn't sure if I actually was or not…

The sound of clattering and movement was the first thing I heard… then I heard growling...

_Shit…_

When I turned I expected to find a walker, what I didn't expect to see was a walker with sharp and pointed metal rods sticking out of it, and a metal headpiece that had more sharp rods.

As I backed up I tripped over something. Looking down I found a fleshy skull and arm…

_Shit._

"Rick!" Michonne called out again.

This time there was no way I could reassure her. I didn't even have time to respond. The walker was coming for me and I had to find a way to either get the hell out of here or find a way to kill the thing.

Scrambling backwards, I quickly turned and reached out for the edges of the trap I was in. I tried to grab at whatever I could, to pull myself out, but everything just kept on falling off.

The walker was still coming. I couldn't get out. I had to do something, fast.

Grabbing the first thing my hands landed on I turned and swung at the walker. But whatever I'd been holding, did nothing. I broke the moment it hit the rods on the walker's head piece.

Looking around I tried to find a different way out, or a better weapon, but I took too long. The walker lunged towards me. I reacted before I thought about what I was actually doing. Raising my hand, I held it out to stop the walker.

One of the metal rods went right through my hand.

"Aah! Aah!"

As I struggled against the walker and the pain, it's jaws continued to get closer and closer, snapping at me. With a groan and a harsh shove, I pushed the walker away, pulling my hand from the rod as I did.

The walker advanced on me before I had the chance to recover. Not wanting to hurt my hand again, I looked at the walker's torso and spotted a spot where there were no spikes.

Kicking out at the walker, I managed to push it away. But as it stumbled back it twisted slightly, allowing one of the spike to scratch down my leg.

"Aah!"

Rushing to my feet once more, I looked around again, trying to find _anything_ that might help me.

I tried to crawl away from the walker once more. I tried to climb up the walls, and away from the thing. But with my hand and leg injured my efforts were worse than last time.

My foot landed on something that fell from the wall in an instant. I toppled over, rolling down and all the way to the middle of the space. With the walker hot on my heels, I crawled away, moving to a different wall. Turning around, I pressed my back to it as I waited for the walker, not knowing what else I could do.

"The walls!" Michonne called. "Use them!"

Taking her advice, I looked to the wall beside me, and grabbed at the first thing I saw, pulling it from the wall. I ducked out of the way just in time to see several things fell down, landing on top of the walker. Getting to my feet again, I grabbed at more stuff on the walls, making an avalanche of junk land on the walker, holding it down.

With weight now holding it down I moved to grab cloth that I used to pick up a piece of broken glass and stepped over to the walker. Leaning over it- while making sure to be careful of the spikes- I cut and stabbed at the walker's neck with the glass. Rotten blood spewed from the wound, but I continued until it's head rolled off.

Once the thing was no longer a danger, I turned to look up at the leader, Tamiel and Brion again. "You believe us now?! Just tell us what you want and we'll get it." With that, I dropped the glass.

The leader nodded to the others, who then turned, and reached for something they then tossed down to me. It was a rope.

I struggled with my injured hand and leg, but with the help of the others I managed to get out of the hole and back up onto the mountain. Breathing heavily, heart beating hard in my chest, I got to my feet.

The leader looked me up and down. "Guns. A lot." The amused look was back in her eyes. "A lot. And then we fight your fight."

 

…

 

Back on the ground, I waited and watched as the leader of the strangers stepped up to me. "You know we will win?"

"Oh, I know it."

"After, we get half of what's won."

I shook my head. "Oh, you'll get a third. And we're taking back what you just stole from us."

" _Half_ ," she argued.

"A third."

"Half."

I gave a light chuckle. "A third," I told her, standing my ground.

She made a counter offer. "A third, and we keep what we stole." But when I just chuckled and shook my head, she shrugged. "Half of the jars, the ones we took. One time, this time. Yes?" She grinned. "Say yes."

"Yes."

"And the guns."

I chuckled again, "And the guns."

She offered to shake my hand, but as I reached for it she pulled away as she looked down at the blood. Instead she offered me her other hand, holding on to it as she spoke again. "Waited by the boat long time. Want something for it. So it's this. Jars and guns, guns and jars.

I frowned… "You waited for someone to get the supplies off that boat for you?"

"Long time. We take. We don't bother."

"You had that thing down there for someone to prove themselves?"

It was her turn to frown. "No. His name was Winslow."

That had me a little concerned… "What were you gonna do with Gabriel?"

Instead of answering, she gestured over my shoulder. "Go. Deal expires. Soon." Turning away, she began to walk off.

Before she could get far I called out to her. "What's your name?"

She turned to me once more. "Jadis." With that, she left.

Walking away, I rounded the corner of junk, I found my people waiting for me. Limping as I walked, holding my injured hand up in the air, I smiled at them. "We have a deal."

**DPOV**

Standing behind the cover of trees, I watched at the cabin door closed and the other's left. I waited until they were far enough that they wouldn't hear or spot me, before I ducked out from my hiding spot and headed for the cabin. Stepping onto the porch, I took a deep breath as I lifted my hand and knocked on the door. Now all I had to do was wait.

A moment or so later, the door opened.

Carol's eyes went wide at the sight of me.

I shifted on the spot. "Hi."

With that one word, she began to cry. "Oh." Stepping forward, she threw her arms around me in a tight hug.

I wrapped my free arm around her, holding her. Carol, she was one of us. She'd been with our group since the beginning. I'd watched her grow into the strong woman she was today. She was a friend. She was family.

Pulling back, I shifted on the spot again, feeling a little nervous. "Jesus took us to the Kingdom," I explained. "Morgan said you just left. I was out here. I saw you. Why'd you go?" I asked voice breaking.

She took a moment to answer, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I had to."

**RPOV**

I was leaning against the car Gabriel had used to drive here. The two of us leaned against it as the strangers walked passed, bringing two thirds of our stuff back- like we'd agreed on.

"I heard something when I was on watch, from inside the wall," Gabriel started. "I went into the pantry, one of them jumped me. She was angry because she didn't get the supplies from the boat after all the waiting. So, they made me pack up everything else. But she said they were at the boat, so I hoped-"

Cutting him off, I shook my head, "No. You didn't just hope. You got us here."

"I was beginning to lose faith," he admitted. "But then I saw you. And you nodded at me. I mean, just the fact that you knew I didn't leave, that you searched and found me, that you, seeing these numbers, you seemed so glad. We will set things right. But things are gonna get very hard before that time. We have to hold on. I will. Thank you." He paused for a moment before asking, "What made you smile? What made you so confident?"

Grinning, I shrugged. "Someone showed me enemies can become friends." Raising my hand, I rested it against his shoulder.

As the strangers past again, Tamiel looked to me. "Guns. Soon."

"Soon. Or else," Brion added before they both turned and left.

We all moved to the car then, packing the last of it up. I stood by the trunk, watching as Aaron put the very last container in.

"Once we get you stitched up, we'll go right back out and find the guns, right?" Michonne asked as she stood beside me.

I gave a short nod. "That's right."

"Do you have any idea where?"

"No, but that's never stopped us before," I noted, turning to Tara as she moved to get in the car. "Tara, you've been out further than any of us. At least you can tell us where not to look."

"Yeah," she chuckled. "Sure thing."

"Let's go already," Rosita sighed, as agitated as she always seemed to be these days.

I was about to follow everyone else and get in the car but stopped when I spotted something among the junk. "Hold-hold on." Limping over, I grabbed the metal sculpture cat, before moving back to the car and handing it over to Michonne.

A smile spread on her lips as she shook her head at me. "Why are you...?"

I shrugged. "Because we won. And to replace the one you lost," I added, moving around her and heading for the driver's seat. "All right? Let's go."

**DPOV**

I sat at the table in Carol's cabin. It was dark and cold now. She knelt by the fire place, tossing some more wood into the flames to keep it going.

"I couldn't lose anyone," she explained, unable to look at me. "I couldn't lose any of them. I couldn't lose you." She glanced over at me then. "I couldn't kill them... I _could_. I would. If they hurt any of our people. Any _more_ of them. That's what I would do. And there wouldn't be anything let of me after that." She paused, looking into the fire. "The Saviours. Did they come?"

"Yeah," I answered honestly.

She shifted on the spot then, moving a little closer, turning to face me. "Did anyone get hurt? Is everybody okay?" Her voice broke. "Did the Saviours... is everybody back home okay? Daryl-"

I knew I should tell her. I knew I should let her grieve, just like we all were. She may not have been as close to Glenn and Abraham as she was with me, but they were still family. Glenn had been there since the beginning as well. Abraham since Terminus. She deserved to know the truth.

But at the same time, she deserved peace. Telling her would break her. Like I said to Morgan, if Carol knew the truth she'd want Negan and the Saviours dead. But like she just said, she couldn't do it anymore. She'd lose the last part of herself that was keeping her together. So, I lied.

"They came." I nodded. "We got them all. Made a deal with the rest of them, like Ezekiel."

Her whole body relaxed, leaning forward slightly as if a weight had been pressed against her shoulders but was now gone. A sob escaped her lips as she wiped away her tears.

"Everyone's all right," I assured her. "Everyone's all right." Clearing my throat, I changed the subject. "We gonna eat or- or I got to be a king or something to get food around here?"

Laughing lightly, she turned to the fire, sniffling again. "Shut up," she mumbled, grabbing the food that was cooking by the fire.

When she set the food down and took a seat, I turned to her, needing to be reassured of something. "Ezekiel, is he okay?" I asked her.

"Yeah," she nodded, serving up the food, "I think he is."

 

…

 

After we'd finished eating, and I'd helped clean up, it was time for me to go. Stepping off the porch, I turned to her as she stood in the doorway, watching me. Seeing her there, not knowing when I would get to see her again… I didn't want to go, but I had to. I understood that Carol needed her space. I understood why she was out here. Still…

I walked back onto the porch, pulling her in for another hug. We stood there for a moment, just holding each other. We didn't speak. We just stood.

When I pulled back, I looked down at her, feeling nerves bubbling up again, but for a different reason this time.

"Watch out for yourself, all right?"

All she did was nod, but that's all I needed.

Turning, I walked off, headed for the trees. As I walked I hoped she would be okay. But I knew I didn't have to worry. Carol could take care of herself.

 

…

 

I sat by Shiva's cage, watching her as she walked around. Being in this room calmed me, because of two things. One, the tiger, strangely enough. Two, Vic. This is where we'd been together last, and it was like I could almost feel her still with me…

"Well, you're good with her," Morgan noted as he stepped into the room, watching me with the tiger. "Ezekiel will be impressed."

I shrugged. "Well, figure any guy that has a pet tiger can't be that bad. He's okay by Carol," I added, turning to look at him. "Yeah, I found her, out in that little house."

He stepped further into the room. "Look, what I said when I said she just went away it's what she told me to do."

"No, I get it." I nodded. "We need the Kingdom. You got to make that happen."

"I'm sorry. I mean, I-I really am, but, uh, it can't be me."

Sighing, I got to my feet. "Look, whatever it is you're holding on to, it's already gone, man. Wake the hell up." Grabbing my stuff, I went to leave.

Before I could, he spoke up again. "You're the same as me, Daryl."

"You don't know shit about me."

"No, I do. 'Cause you didn't tell Carol what happened. You didn't, 'cause she'd be here otherwise. And I'm glad for that. See, we're all holding on to something."

Shiva grunted then, getting my attention. I reached into her cage, letting her rub her cheek against my hand before I gave her head a scratch.

Lowering my hand, I paused a moment, looking down at her for a little while longer. Then I straightened up and walked passed Morgan, heading for the exit. "I'm going back to Hilltop in the morning and getting ready."

**  
**

**Chapter 21**

**Warm Welcome**

**VPOV**

I sat in my room, on the couch, looking out the window. It was dark now, the sun well and truly set. I'd been alone for hours, but not completely alone. I could see shadows dance under my door. Someone was always outside, on guard.

There was no doubt in my mind that they were out there to keep _me_ from hurting someone else, not the other way around. I was pretty sure no one would try to do anything, like Simon suggested. I wasn't sure if anyone here was stupid enough to go behind Negan's back like that.

Speaking of Negan, I hadn't seen him. You'd think he'd show up to at least welcome me or whatever. But, nope. So far, he's been a no show.

Part of me was grateful. I didn't _want_ to see him. I hated him. I was happy to stay in here for the rest of my life if it meant he left my friends and family alone. But I knew that's not how things work.

Then there was the part of me that needed to see him. I had a hundred or so questions that demanded to be answered, and he was the guy to turn to. But I wasn't sure if he would even tell me everything I wanted to know. The main thing being where he was keeping Eugene.

Eugene was a friend. We were close, and he could be irritating at times, and then there's that thing where he lied about being able to save the world- which I was completely over, but I knew some people in our group weren't. Still, he's family. He's one of us. So his whereabouts were important to me.

I hoped he was okay. I hoped he was safe. I felt for him, knowing how easily he could be scared. He was a nervous guy, which gave people the impression that he was weak. But he wasn't. He had skills. Yet I still felt the need to know that he was intact.

Movement and mumbles from the other side of my door caught my attention again… I gripped the pillowcase I held in my hand, waiting for someone to knock on my door- which I'd locked.

After Simon had left I'd searched every nook and cranny of the room, trying to find anything I could use as a weapon. It's not that I was planning to hurt someone... I just wanted the security of having something dangerous in my hand.

I'd come up with practically nothing. Even in the small kitchen drawers I'd found not a single knife, fork _or_ spoon. There was nothing glass or breakable. There was nothing heavy enough to use or light enough to lift. When I'd looked through the wardrobe and dresser, I was met with empty spaces. So, I grabbed the only thing I could find and use... a pillowcase.

Yep, I'd pulled the pillow case off the pillow in order to use it as a weapon. Trust me though, it wasn't useless. I could still do some pretty considerable damage with this thing. I could choke a person or tie them up... It wasn't much, but it was more than enough.

Sitting on the couch, watching the shadows on the other side of the door, I didn't move, I didn't speak. I stayed there, for hours, just waiting. Despite the fact I was sure no one would go behind Negan's back, I wasn't stupid enough to put my guard down. Being in foreign territory, with strangers mere feet away from me…

Y _eah, I won't be getting any sleep tonight._

**NPOV**

I sat on the couch in my room, glass of scotch in hand as I looked up at Simon. Walking into my room, he came over to sit on the couch across from me, reaching over to grab the glass of gin I'd set on the coffee table for him.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Daryl wasn't there," he answered, taking a sip from his drink.

"And…?" I pressed.

"She's in the room you told me to put her in."

"Good." I nodded, taking a drink from my own glass.

"All their food was missing, by the way. Not a jar to be seen."

I raised an eyebrow at this information. "You think they're hiding it?"

"Maybe." He shrugged. "Rick… he seems like the kind of guy that'll try anything," he noted.

I gave a light chuckle, "Now that I have his daughter, I think he might change his ways."

Taking Daryl had been an in-the-moment kind of thing. Looking back on it now, I wondered why I even bothered. It was clear he was never going to bend. He wasn't like Dwight, or any of the other Saviours.

Victoria on the other hand? She's tougher than Daryl, in a way. There was no way I'd ever be able to break her. She'd never become one of my followers. But she could be something else. I could still use her.

The main difference between her and Daryl, though? She bounces back every time she's pushed down, but each time she gets harder. It'll get to the point where she won't care about anything. She'll be so numb she'll do literally everything and anything to get what she wants. _That_ is something I could use. That's something I wanted.

**VPOV**

It was morning now. It had been for a few hours. All night I'd waited, seated on the couch with the pillowcase in hand, ready. All night I'd waited for someone to knock, or try to come in. It seemed my waiting was about to come to an end…

I watched as the shadows under the door came closer and stopped, I waited and listened as the person on the other side knocked a little beat on the wood.

Pulling myself up, I moved over to unlock and open the door, finding Simon on the other side.

He smiled widely, thumbs hooked through his belt loops. "Morning."

"Hi," I replied, voice flat and smile nonexistent.

"Hear you've been quiet in there," he noted, nodding behind me and to my room.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Didn't think Negan would appreciate me disturbing the peace, so I thought I'd have an early night," I lied, not wanting him to know that I hadn't slept… or eaten.

 _Please, please,_ please, _do not make a noise_. I begged my empty and desperate stomach. There was no way in hell that I wanted these assholes to know I actually needed something from them. I didn't want to owe anyone anything.

He nodded. "Well, everyone needs to go to the Factory floor. The boss has an announcement to make."

Sighing, I stepped out of the room and closed the door before gesturing to the handle. "You mind?"

For a moment he just looked at me confused before he seemed to realise what I was asking. "Ah, right." Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out the keys which he then used to lock my door. Once we were all set and ready, he gave another short nod before turning to walk down the hall, knowing I was just a step or two behind.

 

…

 

Walking down the stairs of the Factory floor, I felt several sets of eyes following me and Simon. I wasn't sure if they were more interested in Negan's right-hand man, or if their attention was on me.

I wondered if any of them knew who I was, and what they thought about me. I wondered how many of them- rightfully- blamed me for the deaths of the people we'd killed at the Satellite outpost. I wondered how many of them wanted to kill me…

Simon led us to the front of the crowd. He didn't say anything as he came to stand by Negan's wives.

I knew who they were because they were the only women in the entire community that were dressed as if they were going to some fancy funeral. Dressed in black, each of them spotless, hair in perfect condition… a few even wore jewellery that included diamonds, pearls and different gems.

Coming to a stop at the end of the line of wives, Simon turned to me. "I'm gonna need you to stand here." He gestured to the spot next to him.

Without a word, I moved to do as he said. Face straight and unreadable, I moved to stand next to the wife at the end of the line- though there was some space between us. I just looked dead ahead, and waited.

None of the wives talked to me. They all looked in my direction, some curious while others were clearly pitying me. But none of them uttered a single word, not even to each other.

I knew when Negan walked in… it would be hard to miss considering everyone moved to kneel on the ground like they always seemed to do when he enters a room. Though I did notice the fact that none of his wives, Dwight- who was by the furnace- or Simon, knelt. I didn't either, and I was pretty damn sure I never would.

Negan walked in, head down as if he was in deep thought. Dressed in the leather jacket, dark jeans and boots that he always wore. Lucille rested on his shoulder, where she spent a large amount of her time it seemed. He didn't look at anyone as he stepped into the open space everyone surrounded. He circled the area for a moment, before he turned to face the furnace. One gesture with his arms and everyone stood again.

As soon as everyone stopped moving, Negan turned his attention to the walkway above us. Raising Lucille, he pointed to someone, but I didn't look. I didn't think turning away from him would be the best thing to do at that moment…

" _You_ are gonna want to pay close attention to this," he said, directing the words to whoever was up on the walkway.

He turned quickly, his grip on Lucille changing before anyone could realise what he was doing. Then, just as suddenly, he slammed the barbed wire bat into the arm of a man in a white lab coat.

"Oh!" Lab-Coat Guy fell to his knees with a groan, but was pulled back up by two Saviours. He looked up at Negan, who was stepping towards him. "No, no, no, no! Why? I didn't do anything."

Reaching into one of the pockets of his jeans, Negan pulled out a small slip of paper. Whatever it was, he seemed to be pissed about it. "I found this little souvenir tucked away in your desk."

"I-I-I don't know what that is," Lab-Coat Guy tried to assure Negan.

But Negan didn't believe him. In fact, Lab-Coat Guy's response just seemed to piss Negan off more, causing him to hit the man again.

Clearing his throat and sighing, Negan handed Lucille over to one of the other Saviours. "You left the door open and let my puppy out. You knew Sherry hated Daryl being here, so you let him out for her, be the hero. Then you could move in. That is some weaselly shit right there."

I realise it is extremely selfish of me to think about Daryl in this situation, but hearing his name broke my heart. It just reminded me that I was going against his wishes by being here, and he didn't even know it. What's worse is that I'd given my ring over to dad knowing that I probably won't see any of them again. Some might say that was me breaking up with Daryl…

Lab-Coat Guy spoke up again, pulling my attention to the scene in front of me once more, "But I didn't. She's the one who ran-"

Negan cut him off, "Oh, she ran? You know why she ran?! Because she knew I would blame her, which I did," he admitted. "But, see, Sherry told Dwighty boy the whole story right before she was torn apart. A super-hot girl, horrifically killed because of your greedy, delusional, and tiny little prick."

"It's not true." Lab-Coat Guy looked to Dwight- who was still facing the furnace. "Dwight? He's lying about it. I would never do that."

"Why? Why? Why would he do that? Why would he intentionally try to hurt you? Sherry's gone. And if he's lying and she's out there, I will find her. And then I will burn the other side of his face off until he dies. So, what was he gonna get out of this? No. No. You see, I know my Dwighty boy. See, all he needed was one more night in the hole, get his head screwed on straight. It worked before, and it worked now. Ain't that right, Dwight?"

It took a second or two before Dwight nodded as he continued to face the furnace, his back to the rest of us. "Oh, yeah."

Walking over to Dwight, Negan slipped the heatproof gloves on before grabbed the red-hot iron out of the flames.

_Great. Not this again._

"Oh, please," Lab-Coat Guy cried. "No, please. Please, please, please! Oh, Jesus, don't burn me. Please! Please!" He began to shift as if he was going to run, but the Saviours held him in place. "No. No, no, please!

I knew I should look away, that I should at least _want_ to look away, especially after last time. But my eyes stayed trained on the scene. It actually scared me to think I could stand there and watch this… though it wouldn't be the worst thing I've ever been witness to…

Stopping in front of Lab-Coat Guy again, Negan sighed, "Now you know I hate this shit. Just tell me you did it and that you're sorry, and I don't have to do this."

Without missing a heartbeat, Lab-Coat Guy nodded. "Yes. Yes, I did it. All of it. Sorry. I'm so sorry. Please I'm sorry."

Groaning, Negan dropped the iron, it fell to the ground with a clang. "That's all you had to say." He smiled. "That is all you had to say." Turning, his eyes caught mine then, a grin tugging on the edges of his lips.

Then he moved. He moved so fast no one could register what he was doing, until it was done.

Turning again he grabbed Lab-Coat Guy, pulled him to the furnace, and threw him in. Lab-Coat Guy's screams filled the large, open room. But they only lasted a moment or so… I'm pretty sure he died rather quickly.

One of the wives turned and left the room, hand pressed to her mouth like she was going to be sick. Another one of the wives- the redhead- wrapped her arms around the blonde, who was trying to hold back the sobs that were clearly wanting to come out.

With a sigh, Negan let Lab-Coat Guy go as soon as the screams stopped, and then turned to Dwight- who had stepped away from the furnace once Lab-Coat Guy had been thrown in. "A good thing we got a spare Dr Carson," he chuckled, patting Dwight on the shoulder.

_Carson? As in…?_

Lab-Coat Guy wasn't just any random guy, he was the brother of the doctor at the Hilltop.

_Oh my, God…_

As Negan continued to talk my attention was pulled back to him. "I trust you Dwighty-boy. Never should have doubted you. Sherry was one of my favourites. I'm sorry."

"I'm not," Dwight responded bitterly.

"Ice-cold," Negan chuckled again. "I love it."

**NPOV**

I stepped up to Eugene's room, lifting Lucille to knock a beat on the door. A moment or so passed before the door opened with a creek, revealing the Doctor standing inside.

"May I come in?"

Without waiting for an answer, I stepped into the room. I moved to the middle of the space, looking around, noting that he'd done a decent job of making himself comfortable already. He closed the door and came over to stand in front of me, waiting.

"So, how you liking it here?" I asked "Are we doing right by Dr Smarty-pants? You know, Frankie and Tanya nothing but good things to say about you."

He just stayed silent, watching me carefully. He didn't look as afraid but I could see that it was an act.

"It's all right." I nodded. "I get it. I know how hard it can be to accept change, to get on the right team. But I need you to understand something. I do not make this invitation to everyone. And I sure as shit do not make it lightly," I told him, lowering Lucille from my shoulder.

His eyes watched her as he breathed in a shuddering and scared breath, backing away.

"Hey." I took a step towards him. "Hey. You do not need to be scared anymore. You don't need to be scared. You just have to answer me one question. And it's a big one. Who are-"

"I'm Negan," he answered before I could finish. "I'm utterly, completely, stone-cold Negan. I was Negan before I even met you. I just needed to meet you properly to know. I'm Negan."

I couldn't help but grin.

**VPOV**

After everything that happened with the doctor on the Factory floor, Simon had brought me back to my room, where I'd set myself on the couch again. I had no idea how long it had been since then, but I knew it had been a few hours. The sun was gone, and my stomach was growling angrily.

The last thing I wanted was to ask for food. I had a feeling this place was going to be like Grady. Work to earn what you take. The last thing I wanted was to be someone's bitch.

I shifted, my knees drawn to my chest, pillow case gripped tightly in my hand, back straight, body tense. If I saw a single sign of danger, I was ready to pounce and attack. I was not going down without a fight.

The sound of whistling outside my room caught my attention.

Shadows danced under the crack of my door as someone stood right outside my room. A key slid into the lock to unlock the door. Slowly, the handle jiggled before it turned as the person outside began to enter my room.

The first thing I saw was the tip of a black boot. Then the person stepped inside completely, revealing dark jeans, a white top peeking out from under a black leather jacket, with a red scarf and barbwire wrapped baseball pat sitting on a shoulder.

Negan took one look at me and shook his head. "You gonna use that?" he asked, gesturing to the pillow case.

"Do I have to?" I was not going to make this easy on him.

Sitting in a room, by yourself, for hours, with nothing to do... it made you think. Seeing someone get burned alive made it worse. All I could think about was the shitty situation I'd foolishly put myself in. But I didn't have to be a bigger fool than I already was, hence the pillow case.

Sighing, he lowered Lucille to his side. "Sweetheart, if someone wants to hurt you they have to go through me." He turned and closed the door before moving towards the couch. "I'm not going to bring you into my home just to have you tortured or some shit like that."

"Why not? You did it to Daryl," I noted before he had the chance to sit.

He stopped and looked at me again, thinking it over before giving a slight shrug with a short nod. "Yes, I did. But that's different."

"How?"

He dropped on to the couch and rested Lucille against the side as he answered, "Unlike Daryl, there's no fucking way I'll break you through force."

"There's no way you'll break me, period," I stated as I got off the couch and moved to lean against the bench in the kitchen, putting distance between us.

As I stood there and he sat on the couch, we both looked at each other. He seemed totally relaxed, while I was tense. But there was something we both had in common at that moment. There were a million questions we both wanted to ask. I could feel it. But neither of us were prepared to answer them just yet. So, I directed us to an easier topic.

"Can I have something to eat?" I asked. As much as I didn't want to owe them, I felt more confident asking Negan than anyone else. "I haven't eaten since I got here... yesterday"

Negan suddenly looked as if he hadn't realised this. He actually looked appalled at the thought of me going without food.

Getting to his feet, he moved to the door with a few long and determined strides. The moment he reached it, he grabbed the handle and threw the door open, looking out into the hall. "Go get Victoria some dinner. I don't care if you have to drag someone to the fucking kitchen to make it. I want a hot meal brought up here within half an hour," he barked, giving no space for discussion or question.

With orders giving, he turned back around, his grin planted on his lips once more. "Sorry about that, Sweetheart. Had I known you'd gone without food for this long, I would have brought some up with me," he noted, moving to the couch where he sat back down and patted the spot next to him. "While we wait, why don't we get to know each other a little better?"

Hesitating a moment, I looked at the spot next to him nervously as I thought about sitting there. The idea of being that close to him in a comfortable- or well, somewhat comfortable- setting, did not sit right with me. Just because he was nice and polite, and occasionally cared about me, did not change the fact that I hated him. He killed Glenn and Abraham. I'd never forgive him for that.

But as I flicked my eyes up to meet his, I could see he wasn't actually giving me an option. He expected me to sit, or he'd simply get up and move to me. Negan liked being in my personal space. Why? I didn't know. I just knew he did.

So, with a heavy sigh, I started towards the couch, dragging my feet as I did so. Though as I sat, I didn't sit right next to him, instead I placed myself against the armrest again, pressing my back to it as I faced him, lifting my legs up so I was sitting the same way I'd been when he first walked in. Willing to give me the compromise, Negan began to speak.

We talked for quite some time… I actually lost track of time. Nothing either of us said was important. I didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about myself so we ended up talking about the Sanctuary- which is what the factory was called- and the rules. It felt a lot like business talk to me.

"We work on a points system. You work for points you can spend on food, clothes, things you need. Certain jobs earn you different amounts of points. My lieutenants don't have points. They get anything they want, and they get first dibs. My wives as well. But they don't have to work at all."

"Okay." I slowly nodded, taking it all in. "So, what job am I getting?"

He just shook his head. "You're not getting a job. Not for a few days at least."

I frowned, confused. "Why?" Eating and living for free wasn't something I wanted. Not when there were strings more than likely attached to everything.

"I'm gonna give you some time to settle in. Need to figure out where you'll best be suited," he explained. "Until then, everything is free. I don't care if it's food, clothes, tooth paste, hell even some of that girlie hygiene crap. You need something, you get it."

I wasn't too sure how I was supposed to react to that. I didn't understand why I was getting treated so nicely. I mean, I was still a prisoner. It's not like I could just walk away whenever I wanted. I was here now. Until Negan decided otherwise, this was now my home.

There was a knock at my door before either of us could speak again.

"Come in!" Negan called before we both fell silent as we waited.

The door opened, revealing a Saviour I didn't know or recognise. He was carrying a tray with a covered plate on top.

"Ah, great." Negan smiled as he shifted slightly. "Just give that to Vickie."

"Yes sir." The Saviour nodded before moving to hand me the try. Once I held it, he lifted the lid off the plate.

I breathed in the smell of steamed vegetables, boiled potatoes and scrambled eggs. My eyes closed as my stomach grumbled. The food smelt so incredible, even my stomach was singing praise.

"You can leave now," Negan ordered, which the Saviour followed.

As I opened my eyes, I looked down at the plate and sighed, "No knife, and a plastic fork. You really don't trust me."

He just chuckled. "I'll trust you when you give me a reason to."

Rolling my eyes, I said no more as I grabbed the fork and began to eat. I was too hungry to argue or try to change his mind. Right now, food was enough to distract me and keep my mind off the idea of weapons.

As I ate, Negan watched in silence. Sometimes I would catch him looking around the room. At one point, he picked up Lucille and started fiddling with her. He never seemed bored, or annoyed, or impatient. He simply waited.

Swallowing my last mouth full, I placed the fork down on the tray. "Thank you."

"You're abso-fucking-lutely welcome, Sweetheart." Negan nodded as he reached over to grab the tray. "It's getting pretty late, so I'm gonna head off. In the morning, when you're ready, Gary will show you around, let you get a feel for the place." he told me as he got to his feet.

"You mean... I won't be stuck in here all day?" I asked, unable to hide the slight excitement that was bubbling inside me.

He gave a short nod as his grin fell into place. "That's exactly what I'm saying, Sweetheart. But until then, you should get some rest," he suggested before moving towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow," he called just before he knocked on the door.

The door opened and he left, carrying the tray in one hand and Lucille in the other.

But despite his words, I knew there was no way I'd be sleeping. Not here. Not when I didn't know who or what was around. Not when I didn't have a way of protecting myself.

So instead, I grabbed a few magazine's off one of the shelves and planted myself back on the couch. That's where I stayed all night. Not once did I drift off, or close my eyes. Letting my guard down, well that was not an option.

**  
**

**Chapter 22**

**Nothing To Me**

**VPOV**

Seeing as there weren't any clothes in my room, I was stuck where the clothes I'd been wearing since arriving at the Sanctuary two days ago. But that honestly wasn't an issue. I'd spent days wearing the same clothes. When you're on the road, you don't have a choice.

I'd successfully stayed up all night, again. I hadn't drifted off once. No one had come to my room though. No one had even walked down the hall. Well, there was movement once, but I gathered that was just the shift change of my guard.

The sun was up now. I'd waited a while, trying to figure out when would be the best time for me to venture out of my room so I could go get some breakfast. I still wasn't too sure about this whole getting-everything-for-free thing, but I was hungry and I wanted to get out of this room.

Pulling myself off the couch, I continued to hold on to my pillowcase as I moved for the door. I unlocked it, wondering if anyone other than Simon and Negan actually had a key to get in. Pushing the thought to the side I poked my head out and found Gary standing outside. When I first saw him on guard outside my room on the first day I recognised him as the guy who'd given Negan the camera the first time they come to collect our stuff.

"I'm hungry," I told him simply.

He'd been leaning against the wall but pushed himself off as he gave me a short nod. "I'll take you to the cafeteria," he said before walking off.

After I'd closed my door, I was right behind him. We walked down some halls, all of which looked the same. There were a few people standing around, cleaning the floor or heading somewhere else. No one spoke to Gary or myself. Though I did feel eyes on me.

Eventually we came to an open room where tables and chairs were set by a queue of people holding trays as they passed a long window that looked into a kitchen. It was what a cafeteria always looked like. The only difference was the armed people watching the space as if this was some kind of prison.

_It is. Remember that._

Gary came to a stop and turned to me as he gestured to the queue. "See that door?" He pointed to a door by the end of the long window.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Go knock on it and tell them you're Negan's guest. They'll give you something to eat."

I frowned. "That doesn't exactly sound fair. Everyone else has to line up," I noted.

But he simply shrugged. "I just do what I'm told. Negan said for you to go to the door, so you go to the door."

"Fine," I sighed as I started to walk.

Before I got far, he grabbed my arm.

I spun on him in an instant. I used the pillowcase I was still holding wrapping it around his hand and twisting so he had no choice but to let go of me and turn around. His hand now pressed against his back in an awkward position, I stood behind him, lifting my leg up to dig my knee into his back.

Suddenly, the people who'd been waiting for action all turned and started towards me. It was clear they were ready for a fight. But so was I.

"It's fine. I'm fine!" Gary called, causing everyone to stop.

All eyes turned to look at the two of us as I continued to hold him in this position. Fear spread in the eyes of the bystanders. Fear of me or what might become of me, I did not know.

"Let me go." Gary looked over his shoulder at me. "Victoria, let go. I'm not going to hurt you."

I hesitated for a moment as I contemplated my options and the outcomes. But I knew there was really only one thing I could do here. Sighing, I loosened my grip on the pillow case and let him go, taking a step back as I did.

Rubbing his wrist, Gary turned to face me with a sigh. "Negan said you would be jumpy. Said you could probably kick my ass too." Shaking his head, he gestured to the tables. "When you get your food, find a seat. I have to go tell Negan you're out of your room. So just wait here, okay?" he asked, watching me carefully.

I gave a short nod without saying a word.

He waited a moment, looking at me as if he was trying to read me. He wasn't sure if he could trust I would stay. But he didn't really have much choice. Shaking his head, he turned and walked off, leaving me standing there.

Once he was gone I started for the kitchen door, ignoring the eyes following me and the whispers surrounding me.

_God, this sucks._

Lifting my hand, I knocked on the heavy door before stepping back to wait. After a few seconds the door flew open, revealing an elderly woman with thin grey and white hair that was pulled back into a tight bun.

"Yes?" she asked, holding no patience.

"Uh, I'm Negan's guest..." I told her. "I'm here for breakfast."

"Ah, right." She nodded before disappearing into the kitchen.

I frowned. Did that work? Was she getting me food? Or did she think I was messing around? Had she just left? Was she coming back? Had I upset her? Unsure, I moved closer to the door to open it and find out what was going on.

Just as I went to reach for the door again, it flung open. "Here." The old woman offered me a tray.

"Oh..." I took it from her. "Thanks." I gave a light smile.

She just waved me away. "When you're done just bring it back here," she said before she turned and left once again.

I stood there for a moment longer, staring at the closed door. I'm not saying she'd been rude, but she certainly hadn't been nice...

Shrugging, I turned and faced the tables. It was breakfast time so most of the tables were filled with people already. I didn't exactly want to place myself in a group of people who knew each other but didn't know me, so I kept scanning the crowd. That's when my eyes landed on a table where a single person was sitting.

I started for the table. As I got closer, I could discern more of the person's features- even though he was hunched over his bowl of food. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was the guy who Negan had ironed the other day.

"Hi."

He looked up at me, shocked. "Uh... hi?"

Smiling, I placed myself on the seat across from him, placing my tray in front of me. "I'm Victoria." Reaching over I offered him my hand.

Slowly, he reached forward and took my hand to shake it. His grip was firm, but not painful. It was a good handshake. "Mark," he introduced himself.

Letting his hand go, I grabbed my spoon from my tray.

I knew exactly what I was doing. If I had to be stuck here, I was going to make friends with all of the people Negan didn't like. Mark was the only one I knew about, but there had to be more. No one has this many followers without having a few backstabbers as well.

As I looked down at the mush of oats that sat in my bowl, I couldn't help but sigh. "It's grey. How the hell is it grey?" Looking over at Mark's bowl I saw he had fruit instead. "Now that's just not fair."

Looking up at me again, he frowned. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, genuinely confused. "Is it against the rules to complain about the food?"

"No." He shook his head. "Though I would keep your voice down. The last thing you want is a cook hearing you. They'll replace the mush with dog food."

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the heads up." I nodded as I scooped up some of the mush and popped it in my mouth. It wasn't as bad as I thought, actually. "At least it doesn't taste too bad. Could use a little honey." Shrugging, I looked up at him again. "So, what were you talking about before? What am I doing wrong?"

"Nothing. You're just... no one has spoken to me since this." He pointed to his face. "I'm guessing your new, so you don't know-"

"Negan ironed your face in front of everyone because you broke a rule," I spoke before he could finish his sentence. When he looked at me confused, I shrugged. "My brother and I broke in that day. Negan had us watch as well."

"Wait... you're not that girl that attacked Dwight, are you? With the kid that killed two of us?"

"That's me." I gave a short nod.

He frowned. "So why are you here?"

"Here at this table? Or here at the Sanctuary?"

He took a moment to think about it before answering, "Both."

"I'm here at the Sanctuary because I offered to stay if it means my husband can go," I explained. "I'm at this table because you looked lonely, and I needed a seat."

"Fair enough." He nodded. "Are you... is marrying Negan part of the trade?"

I nearly choked on my food at his comment. Swallowing quickly, I shot him a confused look. "What?"

He shrugged. "Negan... he usually offers women like you a chance to be one of his wives."

"Women like me? What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, now glaring. _Who did this guy think I was?_

"It means he thinks you're hot."

I didn't even bother turning at the sound of Negan's voice. Though I did notice how the whole place had fallen silent the moment he'd spoken. I also couldn't help but watch Mark and everyone else as they moved to kneel.

 _These people are insane_.

Negan moved from behind me, coming to sit on the spot next to me. "How'd you sleep?" He grinned, watching me, ignoring everyone else.

"I didn't," I answered honestly.

"Heard you made a scene earlier. See you're still carrying that thing around." He gestured to the pillow case next to my tray. "Do not make me take it away from you."

"Even if you did, it wouldn't keep me from protecting myself. I'm perfectly capable of using my body as well."

His grin widened as he leaned in closer to me. "I have no doubt about that."

Rolling my eyes, I turned to Mark. "You know, you interrupted my friend and I."

"He's not your friend," Negan said as if it was a fact.

I scoffed. "You can't control who I become friends with."

"Yes, I can," he told me. "Now get up. We need to find you some clothes. You're gonna start stinking up the place if you don't change soon," he commented as he stood. "As you were!" he called to everyone else.

Just like that, everyone was up off the floor, going back to what they'd been doing. As Mark got back on to his seat, his eyes met mine.

"Nice meeting you, Mark." I smiled before turning to follow Negan as he walked out an exit.

 

…

 

Negan had brought me to his office- which led to his room- to show me a box of clothes he thought might fit me. He also gave me my bag back- the one I'd brought with me when I snuck into the truck with Jesus and Carl. Unfortunately, he wasn't letting me keep my bat though.

The office was pretty simple, a soft looking couch against one wall, a full bookshelf against the wall across from the couch. A coffee table in front of the couch and on top of a fluffy mat. The door to his room sat next to the bookshelf- it was closed, by the way. His desk was on the other end of the room from the entrance, the piece of furniture made from hard, heavy and dark wood. A leather office chair sat behind it, a stainless-steel lamp on top of the desk.

As I dug through the box of clothes he leaned against his desk. "I need to know if this is real."

I turned my attention to him then. "Huh?"

He shrugged. "You comin' here to trade your freedom for Daryl's. I need to know you mean it or if you've got some tricks up your sleeve." He pushed off the desk. "So, can I trust you, or should I take the room back and lock you up?"

"You can trust me," I answered simply. "As much as I do want to kill you, I know better. I have no weapons, you already stated that I'll be under guard twenty-four seven, and even if I did manage to get you, you'd win."

He tilted his head, grin still firmly in place as he watched me. "You sound pretty sure about that."

I wasn't. I knew I had a pretty good chance at taking Negan down. Time and time again, I'd proven how strong and capable I could be. I was smart, and fast. I could do it.

But if I messed up and failed, he'd punish me through my family. He would hurt me by hurting the ones I love. That's the only way you could hurt me these days. I was pretty much numb when it came to everything else.

"Don't sell yourself short, Sweetheart. I've seen you with a knife. You're an animal. You've got skills most of my own people don't have. I like that," he stated, take a step closer to me. "I like that a lot."

Looking up into his eyes as he moved until there was barely a step between us, I did everything I could to control my breathing. I hated how I reacted to him. I hated that I couldn't stop my heart rate from increasing. I hated that my skin warmed and tingled. I hated how attractive I found him.

There were only a few people that have made me feel like this before. Shane and Daryl. No one else made me feel like this. That fact alone had me hating myself even more.

Negan was a monster. Negan had killed two of my friends and taken Daryl. He was stealing from my people. He had complete control over us all, using his power and strength to keep us all in line. He was a monster. He was someone I should _not_ have feelings for unless those feelings were hate and anger.

"You stay here, you follow the rules. It'll take you some time to get used to everything, so I'm willing to let you settle in first. But just because you're not one of us, doesn't mean you live any differently. You follow my orders. You do as I say-"

I cut him off again, "I thought I already had to do everything you say. Remember our deal."

"Oh, I know, Sweetheart. I'm just reminding you."

Rolling my eyes, I turned back to the box of clothes, digging through it again. "I really wish you'd call me Victoria. It's my name."

"Can I call you Vickie?" he asked, grin firmly in place.

"No," I answered simply and shortly.

"Everyone else calls you Vickie. Why can't I?"

"Only my friends call me Vickie," I noted, looking over my shoulder at him for a moment. "And we're not friends."

"Oh, you're right there. The kiss we shared proves we're _more_ than friends. You might not like it, or want to admit it, but you want me, Sweetheart. Just so you know..." he leaned back onto the desk, "I want you more than you could possibly imagine."

My cheeks grew hot as I fought to keep my jaw from dropping. _I cannot believe he just said that!_

Shaking my head, I turned away from the box of clothes completely to glare at him. "I don't want you Negan. I never will want you. And that kiss was just me proving to you that I'll do whatever it takes to help my family. I'll do whatever it takes to help my _husband_."

"So, making out with another man is you making a sacrifice? Seems to me, you're the one better off."

My glare hardened as I crossed my arms over my chest in defiance. "For your information, kissing a man I don't like isn't even the worst thing I've had to do to save my family. Don't think, for _one_ second, that you mean anything to me Negan. You. Mean. Nothing. To. Me."

Anger flared in his eyes before pushed off the desk and stormed over to me. I stood my ground as he came over to loom over me. His dark eyes held mine as anger flared in them like a raging fire.

I'd pissed him off...

"Let's get one fucking thing straight, _Sweetheart_. You are now mine. You do what I say, when I say, and you don't ask any fucking questions. You belong to me, and only me. That husband of yours? Gone. Your family? Gone. Your people and your friends? Gone. This life you had? Gone. The moment you agreed to our little deal was the moment you signed your fucking life away. So, I'd be very carefully how you fucking talk to me, or soon you'll see _exactly_ how Daryl's had to live for the past week."

Despite the fact I knew Negan meant every word, and there was a fear that trickled inside me, warning me not to do or say anything stupid, I just couldn't care to listen. I was too upset, too angry with the man. If he thought he could control me, then he was sorely mistaken.

Holding my ground, I continued to glare at him as I pushed into _his_ personal space. "I'm not yours Negan. I may have to follow your stupid rules and do whatever you tell me to do. But I will never be yours. You may keep me away from the people I love and the life I've built. But I will never be yours. I won't break. _Ever_. I won't become one of your followers. I'd rather die."

With that I turned and stormed out of the room, leaving him, my clothes and my bag behind, only taking my anger and hate.

**  
**

**Chapter 23**

**Don't Tell Negan**

**NPOV**

Still standing there, in my office, looking at the spot where Victoria had been standing moments ago, I found my thoughts reeling.

I was fuming. If that had been _anyone_ else I would have dragged them down to the factory floor and burned their face off in front of everyone. So, what made Victoria so special? Well, that's a good fucking question…

A knock on my office door pulled my attention to Simon as he stood there, watching me and waiting.

"Everything all right?"

"It's fine," I grumbled, moving over to my desk.

"The girl?"

"Simon," I warned.

He raised his hands up in surrender. "Okay."

Knowing he was dropping the subject, I sat down behind my desk. "Why are you here?"

"I'm heading over to the Hilltop in a couple of days. Weekly pick-up and everything. You, uh… you need anything specific?"

"The doctor."

"How do you want me to go about doing that exactly?" He wasn't asking because he didn't want to do it, there was nothing Simon wouldn't do. He just wanted to make sure he did everything the way I wanted him to.

"Give them a fucking crate of whatever medicine we don't fucking need. Trade it for the doc. If Gregory has a fucking problem… kill him."

**VPOV**

I left Negan's out of anger… which meant I left without a guard… which meant I had no one to show me back to my room…

The hallways in the Sanctuary were set out like a maze. Every time I felt like I was on the right track, I ended up at a dead end. What made it worse was the fact that there weren't a lot of people around so I had no one to ask for directions.

_God, can this day get any worse?_

"You lost little lady?"

I spun on my heels to see the one and only… Davey.

_You have got to be kidding me._

I'd left my pillowcase in Negan's room, which left me un armed. I mean, sure, I could use my body, but I hadn't slept in days and had barely eaten this morning. Davey wasn't a walker. He wouldn't be easy to take down…

"I'm fine," I told him, staying exactly where I was. If I tried to leave, he'd follow, there was no point in going anywhere.

"You sure?" he asked taking a step closer. "You look lost." He kept moving closer. "I could help you, if you want?" Standing in front of me now, he lifted a hand to my scarred cheek. "All you gotta do is say please."

I reacted before he could stop me. Flinging my head forward, I headbutted him right on the nose.

"Ahh! You bitch!" Grabbing my hair, he turned me around and threw me at the wall, smashing my head against the bricks.

He held me there, pressing against me. One arm held my wrists behind my back, while the other pulled on my hair- causing tears to form in my eyes. I could fight and struggle against him, but his grip on my wrists was tight enough to do some damage, and my head was throbbing from hitting the wall. I was actually feeling a little dizzy from the impact and could feel blood trickling down my temple.

"You're gonna regret that," he warned, leaning loser to my ear.

You'd think after Shane, Jason, the Governor and O'Donnell, I'd be used to pigs like this. You'd think I wouldn't flinch in the presence of someone who is capable of rape. But you'd be wrong…

As Davey pressed himself against my back I felt fear course through me. Fear from all those men over the years, and now fear of him. It was a fear that had me freeze, that turned me into the weak girl I was before everything. It was the kind of fear that I wished would just kill me.

"Hey!"

As I looked down the hall I was surprised by who I saw. I'd hoped someone would come before things got too far. I'd hoped whoever might come would be strong enough to fight him off, or someone with some kind of power. What I hadn't hoped for, was Dwight.

"Go away, Dwight," Davey called, as if the other man's presence meant nothing to him.

Ignoring Davey, Dwight reached for his belt and pulled his walkie off, hovering his finger over the button. "I think you might wanna let her go. Unless you want Negan to find out what you're doing," he threatened.

I was surprised when Davey actually hesitated. I would have pulled back and run off straight away if I was him… but that just shows how stupid he was.

Fortunately, he seemed to grow some brains. It didn't take too long before he let go of me and pushed away, hands in the air as he backed away, walking down the hall and around the corner.

As soon as he was gone, I felt myself relax a little. Turning, I leaned against the wall as I waited for my heart rate to slow. Raising a hand to my head, I found I was right, I was bleeding.

"Shit," I sighed.

Dwight hurried over then. "We should get you to-"

"The doctor that Negan killed yesterday?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, there's a flaw in your plan."

"I was gonna say we should get you to Negan," he corrected me, reaching up to check my head.

"No," I groaned, pushing off the wall. "Negan doesn't have to know about this. He wouldn't even care, anyway. So, as far as he'll ever be concerned, I tripped down some stairs and hurt myself. Okay?" When he opened his mouth to protest, I shook my head at him. "Can you just… can you take me to my room? Please?"

 

…

 

As much as I hated Dwight, I had to admit that he was at least decent. Decent enough to take me to my room, but that's about it. He was still the scumbag asshole who killed Denise, and tortured Daryl. I still hated him.

I felt a little better, now that I was in my room, though I would never feel entirely safe here. I knew that. But if this is as good as it gets, then I was happy to never leave my room again.

Sitting on the couch, knees pulled up to my chest, I held an ice-pack to my head as I looked out the window, wondering what my family and friends were doing… my thoughts were cut short when there was a knock on my door.

Pulling myself off the couch with a sigh, I started for the door, expecting to find Negan on the other side. But when I opened the door, I found I was wrong.

"Eugene?"

He stood there, dressed in a long black coat, a dark shirt underneath, dark jeans and boots. Some kind of soft toy sat in the pocket of his coat. He had that same neutral look on his face that usually only disappeared when replaced by fear.

"H-hello."

Hearing his voice with like a trigger. Before either of us realised what I was doing, I threw my arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. He hesitated a moment, but it didn't take long before he hugged me back, arms wrapping around me tightly as he pulled me closer to him.

 

…

 

I sat on the couch, looking over at Eugene as he stood in the kitchen making tea- which I hadn't realised was in one of the cupboards. We hadn't spoken much since our hug. I'd invited him in and told him I'd offer him a drink if I had anything, which he then showed me that I had- I guess in my hunt for a weapon I didn't see the few edible things I'd been given. So, I offered him a drink, but he saw my head and insisted that I sit while he makes us drinks.

Just by looking at him, I knew he'd given into Negan. I didn't expect anything else, if I'm being honest. It made me realise that if I ever turned to him for anything, we wouldn't never be completely alone. Still, we may have never been really close, but he was family and that's what mattered.

"So, you, uh… did they take you, or…?"

"I offered myself up in exchange for Daryl," I answered seeing that he was struggling to finish his sentence.

"But I thought he escaped…"

"That's what I heard." I shrugged. There was no way I was telling _anyone_ that I knew where Daryl was. Not even Eugene. "I guess Negan felt the need to take me anyway. "

"So, you'll be staying?"

"Yep."

Nodding, he grabbed the cups and came over to sit on the ouch with me. "I think you'll like it here," he told me, handing my cup over. "It takes some getting used to, but I think you'll fit in. These people here, they have a code, they follow said code to the tee-"

I gave him a pointed look, gesturing to my head. "Is this a part of this code you speak of?"

"No. It is not," he answered. "And I believe that if you were to tell Negan-"

Sighing, I set cup on the ground. "I don't want Negan to know. I don't want anyone to know. I told you what Davey did because you're my friend. I trust you. If you break that trust, I'll break your arm. Understood?"

He swallowed hard, clearly scared. "Understood."

"Good." I gave a short nod. "Now, let's change the subject. I wanna hear about you."

 

…

 

Eugene and I had hung out for a while before he had to leave to go back to work. That left me alone again. I made myself comfortable by the window once more, though this time I decided to flick through some more magazines that were in my room.

As I looked at the pictures and articles of famous people I once obsessed over, I wondered how many of the were alive today. With all their money and power, how far did they make it after the world fell apart? Did any of their fame and fortune actually matter in the end? Did it save them?

A knock on my door pulled my attention to it but before I could get up it flew open as Negan stormed into my room.

"Why do you hate me so fucking much?!" he barked the moment the door slammed shut behind him.

I shook my head at him as I got off the couch. "You are unbelievable. I hate you because you killed my friends, and tortured my husband!" I snapped back.

His eyes were ablaze. His nostrils flared.

I knew I should be terrified, but I wasn't. I was done feeling scared of this man. At the end of the day, that's all he was. Killer or not, he was still a man. No different than any other man I'd come across. No different to any man I'd had to deal with.

"And you're telling me you haven't killed anyone? Because if that's the case, then Sweetheart, you've had it a lot fucking easier than most."

"I don't kill people just because I can!" I snarled, stepping closer to him. "And I certainly don't bash people's heads in for fun!"

"You think I did that for fun? I did that for retribution. Your people, killed my people. Your people shot first. I was only levelling the score."

"My people wouldn't have shot first if your people had backed off."

"And what," he stepped closer to me, suddenly calmer, "have we done to you?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but came short.

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. His people had threatened Daryl, Sasha and Abraham on the road, but they hadn't touched them, we made the first move. We offered to kill the Saviours for the Hilltop, not for us. We killed the ones who took Carol, Maggie and myself, after we'd shot up their friends and home.

Dwight had killed Denise- and I wasn't excusing that- but we'd killed a lot more of them than they had us. In fact, _I'd_ killed a lot more of them then they'd killed us.

When I stayed silent, he nodded and stepped back. "Exactly. So why don't you get off that fucking high horse, and think before you start throwing accusations around?"

Shaking my head, I looked at the ground, unable to meet his gaze. "You act as if you care about them. About your people."

"I do."

"Is that why losing all those people affected you so much?"

He was a little surprised by my question, but answered anyway, "I lost someone important to me because of your people."

My eyes lifted to meet his then. "Who?"

I wasn't sure if I really cared, or if I was just curious to see who this man missed. Either way, I genuinely wanted to know.

"A… a wife."

I fought to roll my eyes. "You have wives. Five of them. What made her so special?"

"Yeah, I have five wives, _now_. How things run around here is my wives get off from working and get everything free. Some women, such as yourself, would feel better if they had something to do," he noted. "This one girl… she was one of my best soldiers. Fearless. Ruthless. Strong. Independent. But everyone gets a little lonely.

"At first it was just a bit of fun. Whenever we were on runs we let off steam. Eventually she wanted it to be more. Not because of the free stuff, because she already worked for everything. She did it because she _chose_ to. Deal was though, that she still worked. Us getting married didn't mean she suddenly stopped working like the others.

"There was a job. People were heading out to the Satellite outpost. She went with them. It was only supposed to be for a few days. But she got herself killed by one of you fuckers."

I stood there listening to the story, taking in the way he continued to stand between me and the only exit. I watched as he looked to the ground, and the wall and the roof, but never at me. I watched as a mixture of anger, loss, nostalgia and pain flashed before his eyes…

"What was her name?"

Once again, it seemed I shocked him with my question, but once again he answered, "Liz."

I swallowed hard, feeling beads of sweat form on my forehead. It wasn't a random one of my people that had killed Negan's wife... it was me.

_Oh, shit. This is not good. This is very, really, absolutely and totally not good._

"Look, I don't expect-" He cut himself short suddenly, his eyes coming up to look at me. That's when he frowned as he realised something. "What the fuck happened to you?"

I raised a hand to my wound and turned away from him, shaking my head. "Nothing. I'm fine. I just tripped-"

"Bullshit." He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face him again. "Tell me what fucking happened, Victoria."

Looking up into his eyes, I could see a different anger in them now. It wasn't directed at me anymore. He wasn't upset about what'd I said, and what had happened to his wife. No, his anger was _for_ me. He genuinely wanted to know what had happened. I guess I'd been wrong. I guess he did care.

Sighing, I moved to sit back on the couch, lifting my legs up to fold them underneath me. "One of your men found me after I left your room. It's like you said. I guess they were pissed that I was here, and that my people had killed some of your people. He attacked me." It wasn't the whole truth, but I sure as hell wasn't telling him everything…

"Who was it?"

"It doesn't mat-"

"Yes, it fucking does, Victoria."

"No, it doesn't. Dwight stopped the guy from doing any more damage. He brought me back here and made sure I was okay. Nothing else matters."

Negan paused a moment, thinking it over. "If you're not going to tell me everything, then at least let me look it at." He came over to kneel in front of me, reaching for the wound.

When I flinched back, he gave me a pointed look. Sighing once more, I let him check it over. I stayed still, watching him carefully and closely. I noticed his stubble already peeking through. I noticed the hazel swirls in his chocolate eyes.

"Your daughter, Aly... she mentioned that you've dealt with some bad people. I'm guessing they tried to break you as well?" he asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over us.

"Yes," I answered simply.

"What did they do?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Shaking his head, he chuckled lightly as he pulled back from my wound and set himself on the other side of the couch. "I'm just curious, Sweetheart."

I didn't answer right away, instead I tried to figure out if I could trust him or not. I knew I couldn't, but I could at least give him a little. Living here was not going to be pleasant if I had to constantly keep everything about myself hidden. Life would get pretty lonely, pretty fast.

"I've been kidnapped a few times," I answered, deciding to give him a little, but not everything.

"How many times?"

"Four. Five if you include me coming here."

"We'll go with four."

"Fair enough." I shrugged.

"What did they do after they took you?" he asked, pushing for more.

Looking at the ground, I shifted where I sat. "A lot..."

"Give me details. I want to know what you've been through."

"Why?" I asked, still looking at the ground.

"Because you sure as fuck don't look like the kind of girl that went around carrying knives and baseball bats before the world went to shit. You look like the kind of girl that dreamed of white picket fences and happily ever after's."

"I still do." I looked up at him then. "I'm just more realistic about things now."

Our eyes locked and as we sat there, me looking into his dark chocolate irises as he looked into my blue ones. I realised he wasn't going to let the subject go. He wanted answers. Not all of them, just some. Even if it was just a simple crumb.

"The second time I was taken was by Daryl's brother. We'd never met. He'd been separated from our group before I came along." I looked to the ground again "He took me and two of my friends. His people locked us up in separate rooms to question us. They wanted to know where we lived. When I refused to give them anything, they threatened to rape me." I stood from the couch and moved to the kitchen, keeping my back to him. "That's all you're getting, Negan."

A long pause followed my voice, like an empty echo that made my ears ring and my head hurt. I suddenly, desperately, wanted to hear the sound of him making some crude joke or rattling off an impressive number of curses. Anything would be better than the nothing that was swallowing me whole.

"Did they do it?"

I frowned, though I didn't look over at him. "Did they do what?"

The sound of him sighing was followed by the unmistakable sound of him getting up and moving towards me. When his hand rested on my arm, gently and carefully, I jumped. The tenderness of the touch and softness of his voice was something he only showed when we were alone.

Using the hand on my arm, he turned me to face him. I still refused to meet his eyes as I kept my arms crossed over my chest, and my gaze focused on the floor.

His hand lifted to rest under my chin before he raised my face so I would finally look up at him. "Did they rape you?"

Slowly, I shook my head. "They tried. They almost did. But when they realised I wasn't going to give them anything, no matter what, they didn't bother."

"Good." He gave a short nod as his hand moved to caress my cheek. His thumb stroked the skin under my scar. "Good," he repeated.

We stood there for what felt like hours, just looking at each other as his hand continued to cup my cheek. Heat built within me, butterflies filled my stomach. An urge to lean into him began to build. The longer we stayed the way we were, the stronger these feelings got.

**  
**

**Chapter 24**

**Not About Us Anymore**

**RPOV**

I sat by the little fire I'd set up by the van- which Michonne was sitting in. We'd been out looking for guns and supplies for a few days now. We were doing whatever it takes to get what we needed to complete our part of the deal with the Scavengers.

"Thanks for keeping watch last night," Michonne spoke up from where she sat on the edge of the back door to the van, a cup of instant coffee in hand

"Oh, it's nothing. I like it." When she gave me a pointed look, I chuckled lightly. "Uh, you can keep watch tonight."

She took another sip of her coffee as I looked over the map. Breathing in deeply, she let out a content sigh. "We gonna win today?"

"Oh, yeah." I nodded. "We're gonna need batteries for that walkie, too. Get it working again."

 

…

 

As Michonne and I walked through the forest, I looked over to see her smiling. "What is it? What's that smile? Couple of days out, all we got to show are two guns, dented cans of beans, and some football jerseys, pretty much."

She shrugged. "Pretty much." She turned her smile to me. "We're fightin' the fight. It's better."

We stopped at the sound of movement, and grass rustling, followed by a kind of clacking noise, or something. Staying quiet, and moving carefully, we ducked behind a bush to see what- or who- was made the noise.

Two men stood in front of a pickup, playing golf. I didn't think much of it, but then one of them spoke.

"And if I hear one more goddamn word about Fat Joey, I'm gonna smash somebody's teeth in. Good riddance to dead weight. No more mascot crap."

Saviours.

 

…

 

"They got good taste in pretzels," Michonne noted as she sat in the driver's seat before me, reaching over to the bag of snacks that was set between us.

"And batteries." I clicked the batteries into the back of the walkie, before turning it on. It beeped, followed by the sound of static crackling.

"Two days," she sighed as I turned the walkie off again. "We're gonna need to get back." When I didn't say anything in response, she glanced over at me. "Rick…"

"Day and a half more," I told her. "Today and tomorrow."

"We can come out again. We should get back."

"Just a little more."

"We're okay. We don't have to find them right now."

She was right and she was wrong. We didn't have to get everything in a hurry. We could take our time and do it right. Make sure nothing ends up going wrong.

At the same time, we _needed_ to get this done now. For Denise, Abraham, Glenn, Spencer and Olivia. For Daryl. For all of us. But not only for revenge. We needed to do it so we could get Eugene and Vickie back…

Still, she was right. It would be better if we did things properly, and make sure everything runs smoothly.

"Yeah, I know." I nodded. "Just a little more, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay." I offered her a reassuring smile.

 

…

 

I'd been deep in sleep- for the first time in a long while- when I suddenly woke up, hearing movement in the back of the van.

"Shh." Michonne leaned over to my shoulder, resting a comforting hand on my arm. "Shh."

Without saying anything else, she slipped out of the van and moved around, holding her sword in her grasp. I followed her carefully and quietly, only to come to a stop as she sighed in frustration.

"What was it?" I asked, now that whatever she'd been stalking was gone.

"It was a deer."

"I owe you a deer," I reminded her. "From before. When they were outside the gate," I noted, moving to try and find the animal again, pulling my gun from my belt.

"Oh, yeah, you do." She nodded, following me up the small hill. As we got to the top she stopped again. "You see that?"

"Yeah."

 

…

 

We stepped up the fence in front of us. I lifted my axe and used it to bang on the fence posts, drawing the attention of two walkers. They were both dressed in soldier gear, each with a gun strapped to their back.

I gestured to the weapons. "It's guns like that. That's why we're out here."

Killing the two walkers was easy. Once they were dead we climbed over the fence to collect their guns and see what else might be lying around.

Crouching down, I picked up a bullet shell.

"Something serious happened here," Michonne noted as she came over to stand next to me. "A long time ago."

I nodded, standing up and showing her the shell. "Yeah. These are serious rounds." We started to walk as I went on. "Might be serious guns here, too." As if on cue, we could hear the sound of more walkers nearby. I gestured to the building ahead of us. "Let's get a better look."

 

…

 

Pulling myself up onto the roof of the building, I then turned and offered Michonne my hand. As soon as we were both on our feet we started for the other side, to take a look at what we might be dealing with.

"Watch your step." I pointed to an uneasy looking park of roof.

"Maybe we shouldn't be up here too long," she suggested.

I shrugged. "Well, let's see what we're gonna see."

Walking over to the other side I was shocked at what we set out before us. A run down, walker filled, carnival. Rides and games were laid out in the open field, that was littered with a number of walkers.

I looked to the walkers, seeing that they were all in uniforms like the ones before. "Soldiers, civilians, all those rounds… there was a fight."

"Maybe it was the walkers. Maybe just other people."

"They're still wearing their guns," I noted, a hopeful feeling building inside me. "I think this is it."

Michonne nodded, a smile growing on her lips. "I think it is, too."

"Think we can?"

Lifting one of the guns from the walkers we killed moment before, she shot out at one of the games, hitting the can off the wall that would have won her a prize back in the day. We both chuckled, feeling pretty good for the first time in a long while.

She nodded again. "Yeah, we can."

Suddenly the roof started to creak underneath us, and then we were falling.

We landed on boxes, breaking our fall. We just laughed as we laid there for a moment or so, letting the water that had been sitting on the roof drip onto us.

"Are you okay?" she asked, still chuckling lightly.

"Y-Yeah," I managed through laughs. "Are you?"

"I am." She nodded, taking a breath and moving to sit up. "This is- This is a sign, right? This is it. It has to be.

I let out a small grunt as I sat up. That's when I spotted what was sitting in front of us. "Oh-ho. It is." I gave her leg a tap and gestured to the boxes in front of us. Boxes and boxes of food. Lots and lots of food.

She sat up more and gasped before letting out another small chuckle. "Well, they're ready. Let's eat."

We both laughed again.

 

…

 

It was dark now. Michonne and I had set up a little area in the building we fell into. We'd found some candles, which were now burning. We'd found some blankets, which we were not sitting on. We found some crates, which we turned into a table. Then we set out to prepare some food, having more options than we'd had in a long while.

"How is it?" Michonne asked as we both ate.

"It's good," I answered, mouth full of food.

She chuckled lightly, taking another bite of her own food, before she swallowed and then spoke again. "So, tomorrow…"

"Mm-hmm."

"We go out there, we get the weapons, right? We get Jadis and her people to fight with us. We kill Negan and anyone else we have to, to win. And what happens after that?"

I shrugged. "After that, we keep going."

"Yeah, but Negan ordered the world his way. It's up to us to reorder it once he's gone, right?"

I took a deep breath, looking at my food as I shrugged again. "All the different communities, they can figure it out together, how to keep going together."

"Yeah, but somebody's gonna have to make that happen. Somebody will need to be in charge of that, right?"

I sighed, "Mm."

"It should be you."

Shaking my head, I looked up at her, a small smile playing on my lips. "Not me."

"Why not? You could do it. You'd be good at it. I mean, if it's something that you wanted."

"Well, I don't think I do. Or I would. But the two of us, you and me, reordering things together…" I paused a moment, taking a breath. "I want that. If it's something you wanted."

She smiled then, nodding. "Yeah."

Leaning forward, I reached over to cup her cheek as I pressed my lips against hers in a quick and soft kiss.

As we pulled back she let out a content sigh, before grabbing her food again. "I'm gonna eat five more of these dinners, okay?"

I chuckled lightly, grabbing my own food. "You know we don't have to get it done tomorrow. We can take our time. If we go another day, another one after that, it's fine. I mean, the place is clear. It's locked up tight." I shrugged. "We found the only way in, so…"

Her smile fell slightly. "We should get back."

"If we're getting the guns, it doesn't matter if it takes a little longer," I noted. "Wait. I've been, um… I've been waiting to show you this one." Turning around, I grabbed one of the food packets. "It's, um, chili, _and_ mac and cheese… _together_. Come on." I handed it over, seeing her smile again.

 

…

 

It was morning now. After some breakfast, Michonne and I had packed everything up, found the exit, and snuck around the building to try and find a way into the field without being seen by the walkers. Turns out, it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Look." Michonne stopped as we stood behind a dumpster. She gestured over to where the fence around the field was broken. "The walkers in the field, they're not closed in."

"Yeah. We got to take care of the ones out here and block that gap, too, so we can take the rest slow." I looked to the walkers hanging around the fence, giving them a quick count. "Seven, eight… nine." The last one was by wandering by a vehicle… "That car. I can block it up. I can take out that one on the way. You draw the rest," I suggested.

"You're leaving me eight."

I shrugged. "We could shoot them, but that would call the rest from the field. This is about doing it quiet, with the sword," I explained, giving her a pointed look. "You can handle eight."

As we both moved to different sides of the dumpster, she called out to me quietly. "Hey." I turned to her. " _I go, and then you go_ ," she mouthed to me.

I gave a short nod and waited as she went around the other side, hitting the edge of the dumpster with her fist as she did so.

Jogging over to my walker, I killed it in one quick and easy blow. Moving around the car, I went to reach for the driver's side door when I spotted the walker hanging out of the front window. It looked dead, so I leaned in, but as soon as I did the walker moved.

_Shit._

I jumped back as it reached for me, successfully getting away from it. I pulled out my axe, prepared to kill the walker with it, but that's when I realised it was wearing a helmet I would not be able to get through.

_Great._

Moving around to the hood, I glanced over at Michonne, seeing her handling herself- like I knew she would. With that, I turned my attention back to the walker stuck in the window.

I grabbed its foot, pulling and tugging, trying to get it unstuck, but it's foot just came off. Tossing the foot away, I then grabbed at the walker's waist, trying to pull it off that way. But this time its legs slid off the body like there'd been nothing holding it together.

_You have got to be kidding me._

Sighing, I threw the legs and everything way as I grabbed the straps on the walkers back and pulled with all my mite. _Finally_ , I managed to get it out of the window.

As soon as I dropped the walker on the ground I moved to put the car in gear, and began to push. It didn't take long before Michonne finished with the walkers and came over to help.

I looked over my shoulder and over at where she was pushing by the trunk. "You got your eight walkers. I can push."

"So can I. You just worry about steering us in that gap."

Grinning, I slipped into the car, steering it into the gap in the fence. But as I pressed my foot down on the brakes, nothing happened.

_Oh, come on!_

"Shit. The brakes don't work!" I called to her.

Just then, a gun went off.

I didn't have time to see where it was coming from. I didn't have time to anything but duck down as the car roll and the gunshots continued.

They didn't last much longer. In fact, the moment I heard the trunk close was the moment the gun shots stopped. There was a second or two more before the car rolled to a stop, and then a few more seconds before walkers surrounded the vehicle.

"Michonne, you good?"

"Yeah," she answered from the trunk. "You?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I think we overshot it."

"You think or you know?"

I paused a moment before admitting the truth. "I know. It was a good plan, though."

"It was a _great_ plan."

 

…

 

Michonne and I had managed to break the ack seat so she could climb out of the trunk and into the car with me. Then we broke the sunroof and climbed out of the car. Looking down at the walkers, we moved onto the hood, before jumping over a small fence nearby, landing in a closed off area which was quickly being surrounded by walkers.

"We'll do it here," she suggested.

I nodded. "Yeah."

Weapons out and ready, we started killing the walkers. But as we went through them, more came. It was like there was a never-ending supply.

"Shit. It's not gonna hold," she noted.

A moment later, the fence gave out under the weight of the walkers leaning on it.

"There it goes!" I called as the fence fell and the walkers stated towards us.

Michonne and I both turned and made a break for it, jumping over the fence on the other side, and running further into the carnival. As we passed one of the heavy hammer games, I grabbed the board where the bell sat, and pushed it over, blocking the walkers' path- though only for a moment.

We came to a stop, with the walkers a few steps behind.

"Split them off into smaller groups," Michonne suggested. "The barriers might hold."

I nodded, gesturing to two rides. "You take slide, I take Ferris wheel?" Before she could go, I spoke again, "Or we could just go."

She looked surprised. "You want to go?"

"Nah." I grinned. "We can do this."

"Yeah, I know we can."

With that, we both turned and went our separate ways as the walkers started for us again. They split up, like we knew they would, some going for Michonne while the rest headed for me.

I jumped over the fence surrounding the Ferris wheel moment before walkers began to push against it. Getting to work, I started to kill each one, moving on to the next quickly.

Once the herd had thinned out for a moment, I called out to Michonne, "How you doing?!"

"Eight more!" she answered from behind the fence surrounding the slide. "How about you?"

I gave the 'living' walkers a quick count. "Ten!"

With that, I went to get back to it, but stopped when something caught my eye. In a section to my left, closed off from the walkers I was dealing with, was a deer eating away at some over grown grass.

Turning to the Ferris wheel, I started to climb up and move towards the edge of the circle. Leaning on the ride, holding on with one hand, I put my hatchet away and pulled out my gun.

I was about to shoot but stopped when I saw a small group of walkers headed towards the deer. If I killed it, they'd get to it before me.

 _Damn it_. Sighing, I lowered my gun.

Just then the part of the ride I'd been leaning on broke. I lost my balance, falling into the area where the deer was, scaring it. But it had nowhere to go as the walkers came towards us.

"Rick!"

As the walkers moved towards me, I scurried over to grab my gun- which I'd dropped during the fall. Once it was back in my hands I started to back up, shooting at the walkers as they came closer and closer.

"Rick!"

I wanted to call out to Michonne and reassure her that I was okay, but I was kinda busy at the moment.

My back hit something behind me as I shot at another walker. Glancing over my shoulder I found I'd hit some kind of box. Turning back around I went to shoot again, but my gun simply clicked, out of bullets. So, I did the only thing I could. I turned and crawled into the box, closing it once I was inside.

It was a tight fit, and very uncomfortable, but I could hear the walkers right outside. There was no way I could fight through them. I had to wait. Either they'd kill the deer and get distracted, or something else would come along.

Sure enough, I listened as the walkers' growls moved away from the box after a while.

Kicking out at the box, I pulled myself out. Walkers moved towards me again, but only a few. I got them out of the way easily. That's when I saw Michonne.

She was standing there, frozen, clearly freaking out. Her sword lay on the ground, forgotten, as walkers moved towards her.

_No!_

I hurried over to her sword, picking it up quickly, seeing a walker reach for me. I pushed the walker away before turning and throwing the sword.

"Michonne!"

Hearing my voice, she looked up, eyes going wide at the sight of me.

Recovering quickly, she caught the sword, killing the two walkers that were in front of her in an instant. We both got to work then, killing all the walkers. One by one. I used my hatchet as she used her sword, neither of us stopping until there were none left.

When the last one fell, she ran up to me, throwing herself at me as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and began to cry.

As I set her down, I gestured to the half-eaten deer that lay a few feet away from us. "I tried, but I still owe you one."

 

…

 

Once we'd collected all the guns and packed them into the van we'd set off. I offered to drive, knowing she was still a little shaken from thinking I was dead. As we drove down the road, neither of us spoke. She just sat there, leaning against her window, looking out at the passing trees.

I sighed, pulling the car over and turning it off. Sitting there for a moment, I then spoke up, breaking the silence. "I could've gone a couple more days. I would've liked that."

She stayed silent.

"I haven't been sleeping," I admitted, causing her to turn to me. "Thinking about what we lost. Thinking about my friends. Glenn saved me. Right at the start. I couldn't save him. It's normal. I know that. Being stuck on it. We went through something. This- This doesn't cure it."

"Rick, I'm sorry."

Taking a breath, I went on, changing the subject. "We're gonna fight them. That's what happens next. And we're gonna lose people, maybe a lot of them, maybe even each other." She looked away again. "Even then, it'll be worth it."

"When I thought that…" Her voice broke, on the verge of crying as she looked to me once more. "I can't lose you."

"You asked me what kind of life we had just surrendering. It wasn't- it wasn't a life. What we did back there, what we're doing now, making a future for Judith, and Aly, for Glenn and Maggie's baby, fighting the fight, that's living. You showed me that. You can lose me."

She shook her head. "No."

"Yes, you can. I can lose you. We can lose our friends, people we love. It's not about us anymore. It's about a future. And if it's me who doesn't make it, you're gonna have to lead the others forward because you're the one who can."

"But how do you know?"

I gave her a light smile. "Because you led me here."

**  
**

**Chapter 25**

**Sleep**

**VPOV**

After Negan had left my room yesterday, I hadn't seen him. I stayed hidden in my room until Eugene came back later that evening, inviting me to his place for dinner. I went, and we ate. We talked a little more, played some video games. When it was dark, and late, I left.

Once I was back in my room, I locked the door and set myself on the couch once more. I didn't sleep- though I did catch myself drifting off here and there. I was exhausted and needed the rest… but refused to let my guard down.

Now, the morning after, I'd set myself outside on the stairs near the Sanctuary entrance and sipped on a cup of coffee.

I'm not a coffee drinker, but I needed the boost. The last time I'd actually gotten some decent sleep was with Daryl, just a few days ago. But before that, when we'd been apart, my sleep had been pretty poor. Now, it was non-existent.

A few workers were busy doing as they were told as a couple of Saviours ordered them around. My guard stood behind me, silent and waiting. His name was Alden. He was… different. Compared to the rest of my guards he seemed kind of nice. Nice enough that if things didn't improve I think I could become friends with him… kind of.

Looking over at the chain-link fence surrounding the compound, I watched the walkers that lined the fence to keep the rest of the dead away.

Being here at the Sanctuary, it kind of reminded me of the prison. Only with the added rules and worship. But the actual building itself... it made me wonder…

_Glenn and I sat in the guard tower, looking out at the perimeter, guns next to us, ready just in case._

_The fight with the Governor and the Woodbury people was over. We'd brought more people in- including Aly- and the Governor was gone. But I didn't care. Not right now at least. No, right now all I cared about was spending some time with my best friend._

_"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with... 'T'."_

_I grinned. "Tree?"_

_Chuckling, he nodded. "This game isn't fun when there's not much to spy."_

_"True," I laughed lightly. "Thumb wars again?"_

_But instead, he turned to me, his smile gone. "You think we're gonna make it here?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"I mean... we just brought more people in. We could find more, build up the place, fight the walkers, make a home here. Clear out some more cell blocks, fix up any areas walkers can get through." He looked out at the field. "We could find animals and breed them here. We could farm. We could... we could do anything."_

_Smiling, I looked out, seeing what he could see. "Yeah." I nodded. "Yeah."_

_"So... you think we could do it? Do you think we could survive here?"_

_Turning back to him, I shrugged. "Pretty sure we can do anything as long as we're all together."_

"Good morning." Eugene's voice brought me back to the present. He nodded to me as he stood at the bottom of the steps. He was dressed in the dark coat, shirt and jeans again, his teddy hanging out of a pocket.

I offered him a little smile. "Mornin'."

"Did you, uh… how'd you sleep?"

His concern was obvious. Seeing him eyeing me, looking me up and down. My hair had been pulled up into a haphazard bun on the top of my head. My clothes were scrunched and creased- because I _still_ hadn't changed since getting here. I had no doubt that my eyes conveyed the lack of sleep I'd been getting…

But I still lied.

"Fine, Eugene." I continued to smile at him. "I'm fine."

 

…

 

I stood in my little kitchen, stirring a cup of coffee. It was probably my sixth, and it wasn't even lunch time yet. My hands shook as I held the spoon. I knew it was from the caffeine, but I needed it. I'd rather deal with shaking hands, than fall asleep and get attacked.

There was a knock on my door.

Turning, I moved over to answer it, opening the door to find Negan standing on the other side, Lucille resting over his shoulder. I simply took a step to the side, letting him in, before I closed the door once more.

He moved to the middle of my room, glancing over at my coffee. His face was unreadable as he stood there in his leather jacket and dark jeans. His eyes looked towards my bed… my untouched bed.

"When's the last time you slept?"

_Goddamn Eugene._

I'd been moving to the kitchen but froze at his question. If I opened my mouth, I wasn't sure if he'd like what I had to say…

"Speak when spoken to, Victoria," he warned.

I shrugged, continuing for the kitchen. "I sleep on and off. I'm fine. Really."

"Don't fucking lie to me."

"I'm not." I was.

"I've got eyes everywhere. You really fucking think I won't find out if you're lying?" He walked over to me, taking the cup from my grasp and setting it back down on the counter. "If you won't answer that question, then tell me how many coffees you've had this morning."

"Three," I lied again. He just gave me a pointed look. "Four… five… okay, that's my sixth," I admitted. Knowing he was going to press for an answer to his other question, I quickly came up with a believable lie. "I didn't sleep last night because of my head. Didn't exactly want to sleep when I wasn't sure if I had a concussion or not."

He took a moment, looking down at me intensely, before giving a short nod. "Okay. I believe you."

"Good." Reaching over, I grabbed my coffee again and moved over to the couch. "Is there anything else?"

Sighing once more, he watched as I sat down, lowering Lucille to his side. "Just wanted to make sure you're settling in."

"Well, I am."

"I can see that."

"So… you can go now."

His grin found its way to his lips then as he gave an amused scoff. "All right." Bringing Lucille to his shoulder again, he started for the door. "Oh, and Sweetheart?" When I looked over at him, he went on. "Just know, if you ever need anything, my door is always open." With that, he left.

**RPOV**

I stood behind Jadis as she looked over the guns we'd brought her. Gabriel, Tara, Rosita and Aaron had come with Michonne and I after we showed everyone what we'd found during the few days we'd been gone.

"Operational? All?" Jadis asked.

I shrugged. "To the best of my knowledge, yeah." Stepping closer, I looked into the van where all the guns sat. "May need some cleaning. We found supplies."

Tamiel- who stood near the van- looked offended. "Expect us?"

"We cleaned some. We oiled some," I assured them. "You can do the rest. We do this together."

Jadis turned to me, a bored look on her face. "Yes, yes, but operational?"

"Well, you can fire a few. Try them out, if you like," I suggested.

"How many?" Brion asked.

"Sixty-three," Michonne answered.

"We made an inventory," Tara told them as she pulled the booklet out of her pocket.

Jadis just shook her head. "No."

Tara paused. "You mean the inventory?"

"Not enough."

"What?" Rosita spoke up. "Wha-What are you talking about?"

"You asked for a lot of guns." I gestured to the van. "That's what this is."

"Enough to fight your fight. Us? Nearly twice," Jadis explained. "Need nearly twice."

Rosita shook her head, stepping forward, moving for the van. "We've wasted enough time. Let's go. Take our guns with us."

But Jadis shook her head, staying between us and the guns. "No. Our guns to take. Our deal still on."

I sighed, turning back to her, thinking it over. "Not all of them. We're keeping ten for ourselves. To find more."

"Five," she countered

"Ten."

"Six."

I stood my ground. "Ten."

"Nine. And the cat back."

Shaking my head, I took step closer to her. "Twenty. I keep the cat. We get you the guns. We fight together. Say yes."

Slowly, her lips turned up into a smile. "Yes," she agreed. "More soon, we'll fight." Then she turned and moved out of the way so her people could collect their guns.

As they worked Michonne came over to stand next to me. "You get a few more days before 'what happens next'."

I nodded. "Few more days."

"That's right," she assured me. "We'll find more, figure it out. Soon. In a few more days."

**VPOV**

Night had fallen long ago, the sun was well and truly gone, leaving the Sanctuary in darkness. I'd spent the majority of the day listening to Negan's words echoing in my mind.

' _Just know, if you ever need anything, my door is always open.'_

I'd fought not to listen to it, I tried and tried not to give in… but I was so tired…

Leaving Alden in the hallway, I lifted my hand and rapped my knuckles on the door in front of me.

"Come in," his voice called through the wood.

Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my fingers around the door handle before turning it and pushing forward. Stepping inside, I closed the door behind me, keeping my back to Negan as I gathered myself before turning to face him.

He stood with Simon by his desk, the two looking down at some papers. I'd obviously interrupted.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I can come back." I went to leave.

"No, it's fine. We're finished here," Negan told me as he nodded to Simon.

Not needing to be told anymore, Simon nodded back to Negan before he started for the door. As he passed me, he offered a smile. "Vickie."

I gave a small smile back. "Simon."

I was not an idiot. I knew who these people were, what they could do and what they had already done. Just because I was friendly, didn't mean I'd forgotten. But things were simply easier if I didn't fight.

Besides, Simon was actually a pretty decent guy. Sure, he was Negan's right-hand man. Sure, he was the one who trapped my people that day. Sure, he was technically a bad guy. But he wasn't as bad as he seemed. He could be pretty funny, and appeared to like me, so I was willing to ignore the past- for now- and be friendly back.

Once Simon was gone, and the door closed behind him, I turned my attention back to Negan.

He watched me expectantly. "And what brings you here at this hour?"

I sighed, getting it over and done with. "I can't sleep."

He laughed. I mean, he actually laughed.

"If you're just going to laugh at me, I can leave." I gestured to the door behind me.

Calming himself, he kept his grin on as he spoke. "So, why are you here? What do you think _I_ can do to help you?"

Shrugging, I pointed to his bedroom door. "Let me sleep with you." He raised an eye brow and I rolled my eyes. " _Sleep_ , Negan. That's all."

Watching me intently, he gave a short nod. "Be my guest." Gesturing to the door, he leaned back against his desk as he watched me.

Turning away from him, I moved to the bedroom door and opened it, stepping inside. Looking around, I felt a little more at ease. The room was exactly like it had been when Carl and I were here a few days ago.

"Make yourself comfortable."

I jumped, feeling Negan right behind me. Refusing to turn and look at him, I looked at the bed, remembering what had happened last time I was pressed to those sheets.

"There's a bathroom over there." He gestured to the door on the left. "Go get yourself cleaned up, I'll have someone fetch you something to wear." When I finally turned to him, only to give a glare, he chuckled. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna make you wear some flimsy lace thing." He grinned. "Not unless that's what you want."

Rolling my eyes, I turned away from him. "Pyjamas are perfectly fine, Negan," I called over my shoulder as I entered the bathroom.

 

…

 

I opened the door of the bathroom to step out into the bedroom, only to freeze at the sight before me.

Negan sat up on his bed, sheet draped over his lower half, while the rest of him was naked and on display. My eyes wandered over his chest, noting the fact that it was hairier than Daryl's. I found I actually preferred less hair… not that I should be checking another man out… especially this one.

Just so you know… I hated what I was doing. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was betraying everyone I'd left behind, and everyone the Saviours had hurt and killed. But I couldn't sleep. I didn't feel safe by myself. The only person in the whole place I would be safe with, was Negan.

No one would dare try anything with him around, and he knew better than to do something to me. If he wanted my people to stay in line, I had to stay intact.

Papers in hand, he flicked through whatever it was he was reading, the lamp on the nightstand to his left the only light on. "I sleep in the nude," he spoke without looking at me. "You have a problem with that, there's the door." He pointed to the door that led to his office.

"I'm taking the couch."

"No. You fucking aren't. Close your eyes," he told me, which I did. I waited, listening to him move about, mumbling under his breath. "Goddamn woman," he huffed. There was a second or two of silence before he spoke again, "Okay, you can look now."

As I opened my eyes I found him sitting on the bed, now with some sweat pants on, papers back in his hands as he continued to read them as if nothing had happened.

Moving carefully, I placed my folded clothes on the chair by the bathroom door before moving to the bed. Pulling the sheet back, I slipped in, making sure there was space between his body and mine. As I shifted to lie down, I couldn't help but notice how loose and comfortable the nightdress.

While I'd been showering, Negan had knocked on the door. I'd let him in, knowing he wouldn't try anything, and that he was simply bringing me something to wear.

Sure enough, he'd placed a night dress on the bench, told me I could use whatever I wanted, and then left.

Once I was finished washing myself and had stepped out of the shower, I found the nightdress and instantly dreaded what it would look like. But as I unfolded it, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was actually quite nice. Made of cotton, falling just above the knee, with thin straps that I adjusted to cover myself.

He spoke up suddenly, pulling my attention to him. "You mentioned that Daryl's brother had left before you joined the group," he noted, still flicking through the paperwork. "So, you and your family haven't been with the group since the beginning?"

"Well... kinda." I shrugged. "Dad had been in a coma. His friend, Shane, told us he'd died. So mum, Carl, Shane and I left town. We tried to get to Atlanta. I got separated from them. Was on my own for about a month or so. Glenn found me..." I looked down at my hands as they rested in my lap.

"He's one of the ones I killed."

It wasn't a question. I guess Negan could just tell from looking at me, and the way I'd said Glenn's name...

"Yeah." I nodded. "He found me and took me to his camp. When I stepped out of the car, the first person I saw was Shane. I'd been so shocked and so happy. We'd been kinda dating, so-"

He suddenly cut me off, "You dated your dad's friend?"

"Kinda… it's a long story." I went on, "So, I was at the camp, saw Shane, and then my mum and brother. It felt like a dream. I thought I'd died or something. That maybe I was in heaven." A smile played on my lips. "When dad stepped out of a truck that had been following Glenn, I thought I was dead for sure. It was one of the best days of my life."

Negan let out a breath. "That's like a goddamn scene from a movie."

I nodded, looking up at him. "I've had some pretty good moments, and equally shitty ones. Nothing's simple anymore," I noted, finding myself staring into his eyes.

 _Talk about things not being simple_...

I would never admit this- at least I hope I never did- but I knew I was attracted to Negan. I knew I wanted him. From the moment he stepped out of the RV that night. I'd said it then, and I'll say it now. I found him attractive. It was the kind of attraction you can't shrug off. The kind that burned in your veins.

When I first met Shane, I'd been a baby. Literally. He'd come to the hospital after I was born. But as the years went by, my feelings changed. From looking to him like an uncle, to crushing on him like he was some kind of celebrity or something. When he'd expressed feelings as well, I'd been shocked. When we started dating, it was new and exciting. But it had never been hot.

When I first met Daryl, there hadn't been instant heat. He'd tried killing my dad. I saw him as a threat and acted accordingly. But as time went by, and we were put in situations where we were together, I'd come to realise I liked him. Like turned to want, want turned to love. I could honestly say I had never and will never love anyone the way I love Daryl. He was my soul mate.

Despite my feelings for Daryl, I still felt something for Negan. Not love- never love. Not like either. I didn't even care about the man. No, there was just an animal need scratching at my insides, as if reminding me of its existence every two seconds.

There was nothing to worry about though. As long as I had Daryl, and my sanity, and my hatred towards Negan, I would never act upon my lust. Having things in place to control the animal and keep my mind clear, meant I was safe from making any horrible mistakes.

So yeah, things weren't simple. But if they were going to be hard, I was going to at least keep some semblance of control. Like I'd been telling everyone lately, it's my life and my choice.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" he asked, pulling my attention to him again.

I hesitated as I look down at my hands again, but after a moment I took a breath and told him the truth, "Because I'm scared."

Reaching over, he cupped my cheek and turned my head so I was looking at him. His eyes searched mine as he looked down at me with no smirk. "You don't have to be."

Even though I knew I shouldn't… I believed him.

His hand dropped then. "Now, lay down and get some sleep. I won't try anything. Promise. I'm just gonna finish up some work."

Nodding, I shifted so I was lying down. I snuggled into the pillow, noting the fact that I was surrounded by his smell. But that didn't seem to matter, because within moments I'd already drifted off to sleep.

**  
**

**Chapter 26**

**Don't Hold Back**

**VPOV**

Negan hadn't been there when I woke up- which I was grateful for. He'd set some clothes at the end of the bed for me, just a pair of jeans and a grey shirt. Once I was dressed I found Gary waiting outside Negan's office. Yes, I still had someone watching me.

I sat out on the stairs by the walker fence, just like yesterday. Only, instead of a cup of coffee in my hands, I'd made myself a cup of tea instead. Last night I'd managed to get some sleep, which meant I didn't need the caffeine to pick me up.

Part of me was hating myself. Had been since I woke up.

Sleeping with Negan had been wrong. Even if we'd only slept. He was still the asshole who'd killed my friends, kidnapped and tortured my husband, and was keeping me away from my family. Though… the last part was also my fault.

Despite the fact sleeping with Negan was wrong, I knew it was the only way I would have slept last night. Knowing he was there and no one would come in while I was asleep. I hate to admit it, but I'd actually felt safe. But it's the truth.

He may be a monster, and a murdered, and a horrible person… but I felt safe with him. Well, I felt _safer_ with him. It was better than being alone, which is why I knew I'd be sleeping in his bed again…

 

…

 

I was still outside, now watching Eugene as he worked away. He'd been nice enough and offered to take over guard duty so Gary could have a break… and so could I. Gary had been a little unsure, but when Eugene explained that if I did anything he'd sound out an alert on the walkie, Gary decided that was good enough and left.

Since then I'd stayed where I was, watching as Eugene ordered people around as they poured molten melted metal onto walkers to keep them together, keep them in place, and keep them safe.

Nothing was really happening, so I found myself wondering about home and my family again. But like it usually did these days, I found my thoughts wandering to memories of Glenn…

_I sighed, resting my head on Glenn's shoulder. We were both sick, in cell block A in the prison, with everyone else that had the killer flew._

_It had been awhile since Glenn and I really got to hang out, and it was unfortunate that the circumstances weren't better. But we were really good friends, and I guess having each other now was helpful._

_"Maggie's probably worried sick about us," he sighed, his cheek resting on my head._

_"Yeah. I bet. I'm just glad she's not sick too, you know? Everyone else as well. It's bad enough we're in here..."_

_There was a sweet silence that fell between us, not at all uncomfortable or awkward. It was just nice, and friendly. There was no pressure to make conversation or anything like that when it came to Glenn._

_He chuckled lightly which caused him to cough, catching my attention. "What?" I asked, moving back so I could look at him._

_He shrugged. "I just remembered when we first met."_

_I grinned at the memory. "Ah, yes. The high way, bus and fast red car."_

_"You had just been standing there. I was sure you were a walker or something. But when I saw you, I had never been more shocked in my life... well except for the time Maggie rode up to us on a horse to get Lori after you and Carl had been shot. I think that was more shocking than anything."_

_"I heard about that," I laughed, which caused me to cough too. Once I was finished, I went on, trying to ignore it. "You had a crush on me and then Daryl and I got close. Then Maggie turned up, and you liked her..." I grinned cheekily. "I think you have a thing for big entrances."_

_He blushed slightly, tilting his head back in a way that made my eyes look to his sweat covered forehead. "Yeah, well, I kinda knew I didn't stand a chance with you once I saw how close you and Daryl got." He shrugged._

_Leaning over I kissed his cheek. "Things turned out for the best then, huh?"_

I wiped at a tear then, trying to suppress the memory and the feelings it was stirring up.

The door behind me opened.

"Vic-tor-i-a! There you are." I could hear the grin on Negan's lips as he stepped out and stopped at the top of the stairs. "Been looking all over for you, Sweetheart."

Wiping at another tear, I sighed, "What do you want, Negan?"

"Now is that the way you greet someone who's got you a present?"

"Whatever you have, I don't want," I told him, without turning, keeping my eyes on the fence. "Give it to someone who needs it." I stood and started to walk down the stairs.

But I didn't get far before his words stopped me. "Did I say it was some _thing_? No." He gave a light chuckle. "I got you a person."

Suddenly, he had my interest…

 

…

 

Negan walked us down a long hall, heading straight for the door at the end where Dwight and Simon stood. Coming to a stop, Negan nodded to them. "Gentlemen, would you do me the honour of showing this fine young lady her gift?"

Without a word, Simon grasped the handle, and with a definitive tug, opened the door.

There, kneeling in the room, hands tied behind his back and gag in his mouth, was the asshole who'd slapped me that night we first met Negan. The same asshole who had tormented Enid. The same asshole who had beaten up Aaron. The same asshole who'd tried to rape me just days ago.

Davey

"What the hell is this?" I asked, looking from Simon to Negan- completely ignoring Dwight.

Negan shrugged. "I have a strict no violence against women rule. After talking it out with Dwighty boy, he told me it was Davey who attacked you in the hall the other day. Then Simon said this fucker lied, that he did slap you that first night we met, and that he had no fucking reason to." He turned to me. "So, I thought I'd give you the opportunity to give as good as you got."

Slowly I tore my eyes from Negan's before letting them rest on Davey. I'd also told him he'd regret slapping me. Then he'd tormented Enid. Then he'd tried to rape me in the hallway…

"Simon." I spoke without looking away from the man kneeling before me. "Do you have a knife?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

I reached out and waited before he put the knife in my hand. "Thanks."

Negan chuckled, shifting on the spot, clearly excited. "Don't hold back, Sweetheart," he encouraged.

Needing nothing more, I stepped forward and into the darkened room, rolling the knife in my palm. I watched as Davey's eyes went wide the moment he realised how much shit he was actually in. I kept moving until I stood behind him, not wanting him to see what I was going to do. I wanted the unknown to be torturous.

Lifting my free hand, I gripped his hair and pulled his head back, making him flinch in pain and fear. Our eyes met as my other hand rose to show him the knife. Slowly and tauntingly, I pressed the tip of the blade to the corner of his eyes, watching sweat drip off his forehead.

"You pissing your pants yet?" I asked, slowly edging the tip of the blade to the corner of Davey's lips.

"I think he is, Sweetheart." Negan grinned as he leaned against the door frame, all three men outside watching me.

"Good," was all I said before I cut into his skin and dragged the knife down painfully slow until it came to a stop just under his eye.

He screamed against the gag, and tried to struggle against my hold. But I kept a firm grip, and dug my knee into his back to add more pain and get more control.

As I pulled the knife back I looked down at my work, seeing a cut that almost matched mine completely. You'd think I would feel sick and wrong after marking this man before me. But I didn't. Actually, I felt... good? No, that wasn't right. I felt... powerful.

Dropping my knee from his back I let go of his hair. He fell to the floor, knocked out from the pain and shock.

Not caring, I simply stepped over him and moved to Simon, offering his knife back. "Thanks." I nodded.

He shrugged. "Any time."

Turning my head, I set my eyes on Negan's, seeing fire in them. Only this time it wasn't out of anger. This time, it was from heat and desire. Just like when I'd knelt before him that first night. Only now, it was more intense. Now, it didn't scare me. Now, it made me feel beautiful, powerful and strong.

"Thank you for the gift. I'll be sure to repay the favour," I told him before facing the hall and walking off, leaving the men to do whatever it is they were going to do with the unconscious asshole I'd left on the ground.

**RPOV**

I was walking down the road, passing Tara's house, when I spotted her coming out, a troubled look on her face.

"Hey," I called to her, moving over to the porch steps.

She paused, looking up at me. "Hey."

"You all right?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "Yeah, I was just- I was just coming over to see you. What's up?"

"Have you seen Rosita? She didn't show for her guard shift this morning."

"She probably just went out looking for more."

"Mm. Yeah," I sighed, turning around to look down the road. I knew Rosita was on a mission, but I wished she work _with_ us. It would make things a lot easier. "Why were you-" I paused, turning back to Tara. "Why were you coming by?"

She hesitated, shifting on the spot for a moment, before she spoke. "I have something to tell you." Taking breath, she went on, "They…" she sighed. "They have guns. A lot of them. I saw it."

I frowned, confused. "What?"

"That group," she explained. "Um, the women I met." She sighed again, "They have an armoury. They have guns."

**VPOV**

I sat on a chair outside Negan's office, waiting for him. I'd spent all day wandering around. At first, I'd felt pretty good about what I'd done to Davey. But now I felt pretty shitty. I felt horrible. Like a monster. So, I'd come to find Negan in the hopes that I could reminded myself that I wasn't a monster, and that I was nothing like the people here.

His whistling caught my attention.

Looking up I watched as he walked down the hall, Lucille resting on his shoulder, one of his men right behind him like usual. A smile was plastered on Negan's face as he kept his eyes on me, ignoring the cleaners who knelt at his presence.

"Vic-tor-i-a. What you did to Davey…" He shook his head. "I have never, _ever_ seen something like that before. You, are a fucking thing of beauty. The rage in your eyes. I could just tell you were having the time of your life back there."

Sighing I continued to look up at him even as he stopped by me. "I don't enjoy hurting people. I enjoy getting revenge. That asshole was warned. I don't like it when I don't get to carry out threats and promises."

It was true. It may be rare, but I always liked to keep my word even if its violent. Shane had been warned, and though I way not have killed _him_ I did put walker him down. I'd told Ron that if he tried to hurt my family again, I'd put him down. Look what happened there.

Negan's grin slipped slightly as he watched me. "Go do something useful," he ordered the other Saviour.

Sure enough, they turned and headed down the hall without so much as a word or pause.

"Follow me." Negan gestured for me to enter his office as he opened the door and stepped in himself.

Getting up from the seat I did as I was told and stepped through the doorway. With a deep breath, I reached for the handle and closed the door behind me. Turning I found him leaning against his desk, watching me, waiting for me to move closer to him so he could start talking. So, I did exactly that, stepping up to stand maybe a foot or two away from him.

"Do not fucking tell me you're upset because of what you did." He folded his arms over his chest. I noticed that Lucille was now resting against the side of the desk, and not in his grasp.

I shrugged. "I'm not."

"But you are upset," he noted. "So, what's the fucking problem?"

"I've been here for only a handful of days and I'm already changing," I started, feeling no need to hide the truth from him. "I'm torturing people, and I'm enjoying it. I'm losing myself."

He shook his head. "First of all, is all that really such a terrible thing? Secondly, what makes you think you're losing yourself? If anything, it looks to me that you're finally _embracing_ yourself."

"Well, if that's the case, I don't like who I am."

Watching me carefully, he didn't speak as he contemplated my words and read my body language. It set me on edge, how he was looking at me like that, as if I was a puzzle and he was putting all the pieces together.

Finally, he spoke, "Are you sure _you_ don't like who you are? Or are you worried about what your family and your people think about you?"

I jumped at his question. "I... I don't know..." I admitted, never having thought that could be my problem.

He nodded, understanding a little more. "If you were so worried about who you are, you wouldn't have let yourself turn into this. You had all the things to keep you from doing it. Support. Family. Friends. Husband." He rolled his eyes at the last word. "So, think about what's really upsetting you."

I did. I turned my gaze down to the floor as I thought about what my real problem might be. Was Negan right? Did I actually like myself?

Yes and no... I was losing parts of me I needed, the softer parts, but... was that my fault?

A tear slipped from my eye. "It's my family. Ever since that night... that night we met you... everyone changed. _I_ changed. My dad, he can't look at me without there being pity in his eyes. My brother, I can't look at him without feeling guilty about my deal with you. My daughter blames me, I know she does. The rest of them... they pity me." Shaking my head, I kept my eyes on the ground. "It's not the same anymore. "

Gently and carefully, he reached forward to brush my tear from my cheek. I sucked in my breath as I looked up at him, shocked into silence.

"What happened that night is not your fault."

My eyes fell to the ground again. "But if I hadn't have opened my mouth, Glenn would still be alive."

"Asian boy, right?" he asked and I nodded. "It is not your fault he died. You told me to leave your other friend alone. I was more than happy to do that if _you_ looked at Lucille. You were going to. I know it. You know it. It's Daryl's fault your Asian friend died. He stepped out of line. He even punched me, the fucker. So, it's _his_ fault, not yours."

As much as I understood his words, they weren't exactly helping me. I still felt pretty guilty. If I hadn't of told Negan to leave Rosita alone and caught his attention, Daryl probably wouldn't have reacted the way he had.

"And if you think you don't have any support, then you're sorely fucking mistaken. I know for a fact those people back home are kicking themselves without you. You're a fucking asset to have, Sweetheart, and don't you forget it. I know for a fucking fact I'm glad you're here. Having a badass chick like yourself makes me one hell of a lucky man."

Looking up I found his grin looking down on me.

That was enough.

"Thanks. I, uh… I better go." I gestured over my shoulder to the door as I started backing up.

He just watched me go without saying a word, grin still firmly in place.

 

…

 

Walking into the cafeteria- Eugene right beside me- I looked around the room to find a table we could sit at while eating lunch. That's when I spotted Mark. I hadn't seen, or spoken, to him since that first day, and since then a lot had happened. But I one thing that hadn't changed was the fact that I knew I needed to make friends, and he seemed like a good candidate.

"You go get us some food, I'll get us a table," I told Eugene, smiling up at him.

He simply gave a short nod before moving off to get the food.

Once I was alone, I headed towards Mark, seeing him looking down at his food, trying to hide his face as best as he could- just like last time.

"Hi." I nodded, sliding into the chair across from him.

He looked up, eyes darting around the room as if he was scared to be seen. "Uh… hi? What are you doing here?"

Chuckling lightly, I gave a short shake of my head. "Are we really going to have this conversation again?"

As his eyes met mine then, I could see the genuine fear in them. "Negan didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"You're off bounds," he explained, which just added to my already growing confusion. "He sent out a message to practically everyone. Unless we're told otherwise, we're supposed to stay away from you." Sliding out of his chair, he grabbed his food. "I don't mean to offend you, but I've already pissed Negan off once. I don't want to do it again." With that, he walked off.

My jaw hung low as I looked at the spot where he'd been standing just a few seconds ago. His words were reeling in my head. I couldn't believe it. Was he telling the truth? Did Negan really do that?

Just then a plate with a salad and egg sandwich was placed in front of me before Eugene took the seat Mark had been occupying. He started to eat his food but paused when he realised something was wrong.

"Vickie, is everything-"

I cut him off, meeting his gaze, "Did Negan tell everyone to stay away from me?"

He hesitated for a moment, shifting uncomfortably. "I, uh… I-I'm not sure if I, uh…" he stumbled over his words, unable to form a complete sentence. It told me everything I needed to know.

"That son of a bitch."

 

…

 

As much as I knew there was no way I was getting any sleep in my own room, I refused to go to Negan. Not after I found out he told everyone to stay away from me. That's why I was in my room, sitting on my bed, legs folded in front of me.

A knock on my door had me sigh before I got off the bed and moved over to the door, brushing my night dress down as I did. The moment I opened the door I rolled my eyes.

Negan stood there, a covered tray in one hand and Lucille in the other, his grin sitting in its rightful place.

Turning around, I left the door open as I went back to the bed. I just sat myself down and watched as he came in and set the tray on my kitchen bench. Then he turned to me as he moved to the middle of the room, rolling Lucille on his shoulder.

"Thank you for the food. You can go now," I told him shortly.

He gave a light chuckle. "I thought I might stay here. Brought enough food for two. We could sit, and eat, maybe talk." His eyes glanced at my bed. "Then we could go back to my room… or stay here."

I shrugged. "We could do both. You could go back to yours, and I'll stay here."

Seeing that I was clearly in a mood, he sighed. "What the fucks wrong now?"

"You told Mark he can't talk to me." I glared at him. "I can't make friends if everyone's too scared to come near me."

"You don't need friends. You've got Eugene, and me. That's all you need."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I moved so I was standing on my bed, needing the extra height. "What gives you the right to determine what I do and don't need? I'm not yours. I am my own person!" I snapped. "I need friends, Negan. Or I'm going to go insane in this place!"

His eyes went cold… suddenly it felt like he was as tall as the Sanctuary as he loomed over me. "Despite what you fucking think, Sweetheart, you _are_ mine."

"No, I'm not. You can't control me, Negan."

"You're right. No one can control you. But I will fucking do the best I fucking can to make sure no one lays another fucking finger on you. David's lucky I didn't string him up on the fence to set an example. No one, and I mean not one single fucking fucker, is _ever_ going to fucking hurt you again. If that means I have to stop you from making friends, then I fucking will. Whatever it takes to keep you safe."

I stood my ground, despite the fact that his words had softened my anger ever so slightly. I just had to keep reminding myself of who this man was. "It's not your job to keep me safe. You're not my husband."

He took a step closer, to the point where his shins were against the bed. "I don't know if you've realised this, but you don't have a husband anymore. The day you came here is the day you left all that behind you." Turning away from me, he moved to the door. "You better learn to love this place pretty fucking quickly, because Sweetheart, you're never leaving." With that, he walked out and closed the door behind him.

Coming here, I knew it would probably be some time before I got to see my family again… it never occurred to me that I might be wrong… that I might never see them again. That thought was another to crush me into a million pieces. All the pain and sorrow I'd been holding back…

I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried harder than I had in years.

**  
**

**Chapter 27**

**Cut Them**

**MPOV**

Things were moving forward, changing. Hopefully for the better.

People at the Hilltop had lived up to their word. They'd stepped up and done everything and anything asked of them. Sasha, Jesus and I were training them, like we said we would, but I don't think they realised how hard it was actually going to be.

Still, things were settling into a routine. We were working together, building something. We were moving forward.

I sat on the steps to our trailer with Jesus- who was sitting on a few above mine. We were watching as people worked away, going about their day. It was nice. Familiar. Almost like home.

"Sorry for taking over your trailer." I smiled lightly, looking up at Jesus.

He shook his head, giving a small smile back, genuinely not minding. "Oh. I grew up with a lot of people around. I'm used to it."

"Big family?"

"Uh…" he looked away then, though his smile stayed in place, "group home. This isn't like that, though. Not the bad parts, at least. For the first time, I feel like I belong. Trying to make sure you and Sasha became a part of this made me a part of this. When I was first here I was never here. I, um… I always found it hard getting close to anyone. Neighbours, friends… boyfriends." He looked to me in the corner of his eye.

My smile grew. "You should try it sometime. Even if it doesn't last."

Losing Glenn would always weigh heavy on my shoulder, mind and heart. I would never truly be the same after that night. I would never get over him. I would never stop loving him. I would never feel what I feel for him, with someone else.

But that doesn't mean I was giving up on love. That doesn't mean I was giving up on anything. I was simply ready to move forward. I had to. For him.

Sighing, I pulled myself up to my feet and stepped off the stairs, dusting my hands onto my jeans. "I'm gonna talk to our blacksmith about making more spears. Maybe we can trade with the Kingdom for some body armour. Thing is, what we really need is riot gear."

Sasha walked around the corner then, coming over to us.

I turned my smile to her, reaching out the touch her shoulder before I continued on towards the blacksmith. On the way I found myself looking over at a table I'd been glancing at more and more lately.

The table hadn't meant much a few days ago… but then again, a few days ago Daryl hadn't been here.

He showed up at the gates in the middle of the night the day before last. We brought him in, of course, let him stay with Enid, Jesus, Sasha and myself, but he'd shut himself out from everyone. He was here to help, and he'd been doing a good job at training some people as well. But other than that, he kept to himself.

There was one person he really wouldn't talk to… wouldn't even look at. Me.

**DPOV**

I sat on one of the tables by the trailers, using my knife to dig dirt out from under my nails. I spent most- if not all- my free time sitting here, waiting to work. I slept and ate outside of the trailer, not wanting to join the others.

Glenn was my fault.

I couldn't face Maggie knowing I was the reason she lost her husband, and her child lost their father. I couldn't make her live with the man who had taken the love of her life away from her.

The plan was to stay here and train everyone so they would be ready to take down Negan and the Saviours. Once we did that, I could go home. Back to my family. Back to Vic.

Being away from her, I never liked it. Things never worked out when we were apart.

But we didn't have much of a choice. I couldn't be seen back at Alexandria. The Saviours would kill me on the spot. She couldn't leave. Negan would send out a search party. So, for now, all we could do was wait.

The sound of a bell clanging and ringing had me look up towards the front gates.

One of the guards stood there, ringing the bell. "The Saviours are coming!" He called. "The Saviours are coming!"

Enid came running over then, hurried and worried. "We have to get Maggie."

I dropped my knife, knowing we needed to find her fast. "Where is she?"

"Come on!"

**VPOV**

"I want a knife."

Dwight shook his head, moving to walk away from me as we stood in the hallway. His eyes were set over my head, ignoring me and my demands.

As he tried to side step me, I got in his way, pressing a hand to his chest. "Listen here, and listen good. You're gonna get me a Goddamn knife. I don't care how, and I really don't care if it's against Negan's precious rules. You are going to get me a knife. Or so help me God, I will make your life a living hell worse than the one you're already in."

"Why do you want one, anyway?"

"That's none of your business. But, for the sake of easing your mind, let's just say it's for… I don't know, self-defence." I shrugged casually.

He glared down at me. "What makes you think I can get you one?"

I grinned up at him, cruelly and maliciously. "Because you're Dwight-y Boy. You're one of the favourites."

**DPOV**

Running along the dirt path in front of the large Hilltop house- I forgot the name, not that it matters- Maggie, Enid and I headed for the escape route that set up just in case something like this were to happen.

We could hear the sound of vehicles approaching the community, lots of them. Heavy trucks, ready to be loaded with supplies. It boiled my anger. But I knew better than to stop. Maggie was in danger, and she was more important than at the moment.

"We'll never make it in time," Maggie noted as she looked in the direction of the escape, knowing it was too far away.

"Come on!" Enid gestured for us to follow as she picked up the pace, running around the back of the large house. Maggie and I followed as she led us to some cellar doors which she then opened for us. "Just stay down there. I'll keep them away. They aren't the same ones who came to Alexandria."

Doing as she said, I slipped into the cellar, right behind Maggie. Enid closed the doors behind us, staying up to make sure no one else came down.

There were two more doors down the stairs of the cellar. Maggie opened and moved through them, heading to the back crates, filled with fruit, that the Hilltop people had stored down here. I stayed back though, closing the doors just enough so I could spy through a crack.

I pulled my knife out, getting ready. If someone was to come down here, there was no way in hell I was letting them anywhere near her.

"Daryl," Maggie called in a hushed whisper. "Daryl." When I still didn't listen, she tried again, harsher, " _Daryl_!"

Knowing she wasn't going to give up, I sighed and pulled back, closing the door all the way before I moved over to join her.

We slipped behind some of the boxes, shelves and crates, moving into the shadows and shifting things so they covered us. This way we wouldn't easily be spotted by anyone who might come down.

 

…

 

The first doors opened, followed by the next. They creaked, the noise filling the underground space. I pulled my knife out again as I watched as man step in. It was too dark to see who he was just yet, but it didn't take a genius to know one thing. He was a Saviour.

I adjusted my hold on my knife, watching as he moved to some boxes, searching through the fruit. He got closer and closer, moving slowly and carefully. I tightened my grip, getting ready to attack.

Maggie rested a hand on my shoulder, stopping me before I could move.

The guy turned away then, reaching over for a box of food before walking out, closing the doors behind him.

Once I could no longer hear his footsteps I moved out from behind the boxes and over to the door, listening out for more movement.

Maggie sighed, following me. "You were gonna kill that guy."

"He was gonna find us," I grunted, not turning to look at her. Unable to look at her.

"He wasn't, and he didn't."

"He deserved to die."

"Ever since you got here, you haven't said a word to me." She sighed, "Would you look at me? Please?"

I shifted on the spot, feeling the anger and sorrow I'd been trying to hide since coming here, rise to the surface. Sniffling, I turned to look at her, just barely. It was all I could do at the moment. All I could face for now.

"Daryl." She stepped closer to me, prompting me to turn away again.

"I'm sorry." My voice broke as my efforts not to cry gave in. "I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It was."

"No. It wasn't. You're one of the good things in this world. That's what Glenn thought. And he would know, 'cause he was one of the good things, too." Her own voice broke as she gave a sad smile. "And, uh… I wanted to kill that guy, too. I wanted to string them all up and watch them die. But we have to win." She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. "Help me win."

All I could do was nod against her in response.

**VPOV**

With Dwight- hopefully- looking for a knife for me, I was sticking to my room. If I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone, then I wasn't going to talk to anyone, except whoever was on guard duty outside my door. But even then, the only words I spoke to them were requests for food.

I was sitting at the end of my bed, a coffee set on the floor by my feet, my pillow case by my side, and my jeans in my lap. I'd spilt some food on them this morning while eating breakfast in the dining hall. It had offered as a distraction so I could go talk to Dwight. Now I was busy cleaning the stain from the berries that had been in my porridge.

I had a pair of shorts on. I'd grabbed them from the pile of clothes Negan had sent over yesterday. They were a little big, but I'd tied them up tight enough to keep them on my hips.

Sighing, tossing my jeans to the side, I grabbed my coffee and downed the drink before getting up to make another. As I stood there, filing a pot full of water to boil on the stove, there was a knock on my door.

Turning the water off, I turned until I could lean against the counter, my arms folded over my chest. There, I waited.

A handful of second passed before my door was thrown open by an agitated Negan. Lucille rested on his shoulder as she stepped into my room, slamming the door closed behind him.

"Care for a coffee?" I asked, voice hard and venomous.

He tossed Lucille onto the couch as he moved to stand in the middle of the room, that dangerous glare plastered on his face. "You got something you wanna say to me?"

I shrugged. "Have no idea what you're talking about."

"Bullshit." He stalked towards me. "You're pissed. Admit it. Just say the fucking words, Victoria. I'm giving you the chance, right here and now. This is the only fucking time. So, speak your mind, or forever fucking hold your tongue."

I pushed off the counter and unfolded my arms as I stared up at him. "I hate you. I hate you with every fibre of my being. You are a monster. You are the kind of person who doesn't deserve to live, but manages to because of your monstrous and cruel ways. You say you care for your people, but all you're doing is trying to get in my head. You don't give a shit about anyone other than yourself. If you did care about them, you wouldn't treat them like slaves. And your wives? The women you threaten with a life barely worth living? You use them like filth. You treat them like living sex toys and trophies. You screw them and toss them aside. All you care about is getting your dick wet."

His glare intensified as he continued to look down at me, his jaw tensing as much as the rest of his body was.

When he stayed silent, I went on, "You say you want to keep me safe. You say you don't want anyone hurting me. But that's exactly what you're doing. It's a sick and twisted game you play, and we're all your little pawns. I'm just the newest play thing that's caught your attention."

He took a step closer to me. "That really what you think?"

I took a step closer to him, not willing to back down. "That's what I know."

"You know why we're the Saviours? You know why we call ourselves that?" he asked, looking down at me, glare still in place, eyes searching mine. "I kill one person, it saves a hundred. I may be a killer, but I am not the person you think I am. There is a system here, it works for a reason, because everyone knows that not everyone wins. But at least they're not out there getting their asses gnawed on by some dead pricks."

"That doesn't make you a good leader. That just means you've got good walls."

"You have no fucking idea." He shook his head, pulling back and turning away. "The asshole that was in charge before me was killing his people. He had no fucking clue how to run this place. I stepped up, I took over. And now this place thrives. These people, they don't kneel because I tell them to. They kneel because they want to."

"It's call Stockholm syndrome."

"It's called loyalty. It's called being grateful for having someone there to keep them alive." He turned to me. "Tell me, people look up to you, right? You were a leader? People followed your lead, they did what you said. You telling me you haven't made some mistakes?"

"You saying you made a mistake, killing our people?"

"No." He chuckled lightly, shaking his head slowly. "That wasn't a mistake. Someone had to die that night. I just made the choice to kill one of you, instead of all of you."

"You killed two people that night."

His smile fell, his face straight. "You can blame the second one on Daryl."

I shook my head, storming up to him. "That. That right there. Just admit what you did. Just say the fucking words, Negan! Admit you killed both of them! Admit that their blood is on your hands!"

He stayed silent for a minute, looking down at my fuming form as I looked up at him with raging eyes, breathing heavily. Then he spoke, "I killed them. The ginger and the Asian. I killed them. Don't ever think I won't admit that. But their blood is not on my hands. I might have killed them, but I did not _get_ them killed." He left the meaning of his words hanging in the air. "How many people have you killed, Victoria?"

I flinched at his question ever so slightly. The number came to my head in an instant. Forty-one. I'd done the maths. I knew the truth.

He nodded, seeing my reaction. "Are you really gonna tell me that all their blood is on your hands? You gonna tell me there wasn't a reason why you killed them? You gonna tell me you just shot them down, one by one, for the fun of it?"

"No," I answered, voice weaker, anger falling.

"Exactly." He stepped closer. "I killed your two friends because an example had to be made. But that does not mean their blood is on my hands."

"It doesn't change the fact that you killed them."

"No. It doesn't." He nodded, still walking towards me. I backed up, looking down at the ground. "But what's done, is done. There's no going back in time, Victoria. So, let's face the facts here." I bumped into the counter, unable to back up anymore. "You and I are both killers. And let's be honest… part of us enjoys it."

"No." I shook my head. "I don't."

"You can't lie to me, Victoria. I saw you with Davey. I saw your eyes. You might not like it all the time, but part of you does. You like how it makes you feel powerful. You like gettin' revenge. You like the feeling when you get to take the life of someone who wronged you or someone you care about." His thumb and forefinger came up to lift my chin so I would look up at him as he grinned. "And you like me."

"I hate you," I told him, not as much venom in my voice as before.

His grin widened even more. "Yeah, you do. But, Sweetheart, that's pretty close to loving me." He stepped even closer. "Tell me I'm wrong?"

I looked up at him, my eyes locked onto his. I wanted to say he was wrong… but I couldn't. Don't think that means I loved him, because there was no way in hell I would or could ever love a man who had one so much to hurt the ones I care about and other innocent people. But there was something there.

Maybe I'd gone insane? Maybe seeing Glenn and Abraham die right in front of me and so violently, maybe I'd finally lost it? Maybe being taken away from my family, yet again, had been the last straw? Maybe getting attacked by Davey had pushed me over the line? Or, maybe… I'd given up hope?

There was no point in denying it any longer. I wasn't getting out of here. Dad and the others could fight as hard as they wanted, and they could even win… but the chances of me ever getting out of here were slim.

My safety was a thin sheet of glass being protected by Negan. The moment something happens to him, I'm done for. He was right, his people were loyal. So, the first thing they would do if they were to lose their leader, is kill me. That, or something worse. But by the end of it, I'd be praying for death.

As I stayed silent, not responding to Negan, he then did the last thing I had expected… he leaned in.

I pulled back ever so slightly, shaking my head, trying to look down at the ground. "Don't."

"Why not? Give me one good reason. Tell me you really don't want this, and I will back off. I'll leave you alone, if that's really what you want, Victoria. Just say the word."

The word was hanging on the tip of my tongue. It was right there, ready to be spoken. But as I went to speak, I found myself unable to.

Truth be told… I was tired… and he was right.

I was a killer, and part of me did enjoy the kill. More than I liked. But that same part, it was drawn to Negan and our similarities. I could be my complete self around him. I could be as cruel and vicious as I wanted or needed.

If I really wasn't getting out of here… why not rely on those baser instincts? Why not let that wild side take over? Why not let the rest of myself go numb and fade away? What's the worst that could happen?

Sensing my internal decision, with a slight grin on his face, Negan's hand moved to cup my cheek as he leaned in further until his lips pressed against my lips.

The kiss was slow, gentle and sensual. It made my body buzz with a light tingle, just enough to get a heat growing deep inside me. My brain shut down, letting my body, my most basic animal instincts, take over. When there was no more doubt, or regret, or guilt, I deepened the kiss.

Negan reacted accordingly, his hand that cupped my cheek moving to slide into and grasp my hair as he pulled me closer, pressing me against him. His hardening cock pressed against me, prompting my wilder side to delve into the moment more.

Pushing off the counter, I brought my hands up and around his shoulder, letting my fingers play and pull at his hair at the nape of his neck.

He dropped his hand from my head, moving both hands to my waist. Without hesitation, he lifted me up onto the counter and moved his body closer, spreading my thighs so he could settle between them. His hands moved to the flesh of my thighs, squeezing them as he held me against him, the kiss deepening ever more.

Teeth, tongue and lips. Biting, sucking, nipping and licking. Our mouths were a tangled dance, equally sloppy and perfect. It ignited a light inside me. Brought a fire to the cold hole I'd buried myself soul in. A fire that was dangerous, but oh so tempting.

When his teeth grabbed my bottom lip, tugging and pulling, I groaned against him. He nipped and kissed a trail from my mouth, to my jawbone. There his bites got harder, his rough hands squeezing tighter, his body pressing closer to mine. He was completely hard now, his cock pressing against my clothed core.

I wrapped my legs around his hips and ground myself against him. His lips moved until he was sucking on the skin behind my ear. His hands slid around to cup my ass before he lifted me off the counter, holding me close, as he turned and walked us over to the bed.

My head fell back, giving him complete access to my neck as I ground myself against him, the animal inside me needing all the friction it could get.

Reaching the bed, he rested a knee on the mattress before setting me down, his body hovering over mine, lips coming back to mine. My fingers grasped his hair, pulling and tugging as my hips bucked against his thigh.

I moaned, my lips leaving his to make incoherent noises of pleasure and need.

Teeth nipping at my neck, he reached his hand down to my shorts and fiddled with them. "You're going to have to move if you want them off, Sweetheart."

"Cut them," I groaned, wanting nothing more than for him to slip his hand into the clothes and down to where heat literally dripped from me.

Grinning against me. "If that's what you want." Pulling away, he grabbed the knife from his belt and brought it down to my shorts.

I watched as one hand held my shorts and underwear, while the other used the knife to cut through the material between us. As soon as my bottom half was bare, Negan leaned in again, his lips finding mine as two fingers slipped into me.

Gasping, I rocked against his fingers as they pumped in and out of me.

He chuckled lightly, bringing his lips to my ears. "You have any idea how good you feel? How tight and warm and wet you are?" I whimpered as his teeth caught my ear lobe and tugged. "Tell me you want this. Tell me."

My hand moved to grasp his shoulder tightly. "Negan."

Grinning, he pulled back, taking his fingers from me. I whimpered again, missing the contact. But he just clicked his tongue and shook his head as he began to undress himself. I watched and waited, withering on the bed, feeling cold and empty.

Once he was completely naked, he moved forward, his hand grasping and running up and down his stiff cock. Setting himself between my thighs, he lined himself at my entrance. But he didn't push in though. Instead he stayed there, teasing, rubbing himself against every part of me that sung, but didn't scream.

He continued to grin down at me. "Who do you belong to?"

I groaned, back arching and eyes rolling back. "Myself."

"Wrong answer." He brushed himself against my sensitive nub, before moving further down to dip into me ever so slightly. "Who do you belong to?"

I glared at him before grabbing his shoulder and pulling him down. Then I rolled us over so I was on top, my thighs straddling his waist, my core hovering over him. "I belong to me," I told him before I pushed myself down on to his cock.

His grin slipped for a moment as he lost the upper hand, but he quickly recovered. Actually, his grin seemed wider, as if he was enjoying the reverse of power.

I moved myself against him at an agonisingly slow pace, taking my time, enjoying the fact that this was probably the first time I'd ever had the upper hand in our weird and chaotic relationship. It was probably the first time Negan wasn't in charge or in control ever.

When he went to reach for my waist, but I slapped his hands away. He just laughed, "Sweetheart, I didn't think you'd be this much fun."

Rolling my eyes, I lifted my hand and pressed it against him mouth. "Shut up, Negan," I warned as I picked up my pace, pumping myself up and down against his member.

I could feel his grin against my palm.

The more I moved against him, the harder I began to push down. My speed picked up as a tight ball formed inside me. Slowly but surely, with every movement, the ball grew as my pleasure increased.

I moaned, feeling my body crave more of him. All of him. "Oh..." whimpering I closed my eyes.

Raising his hand, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and pried my hand away from his mouth. "Tell me what you want."

He was enjoying this. Not just because of the sex. Not just because of my sudden behaviour. He was enjoying it because he knew what I knew. He knew I couldn't get myself off without him.

But I wasn't giving in that easily. I'd only just gained control. I'd only just gotten the upper hand. Telling him what I wanted, would be like me giving into him. It would be me handing the power back over.

Chuckling, he watched we as I struggled to get over the line. "Tell me what you want, Victoria, and you can have it all."

As much as I didn't want to give in, I wanted a release more than the power and control. My body was screaming for friction and everything that was oh so good, yet very wrong.

Reluctantly I gave in. "You," I panted.

"Now, wasn't that easy?" he grinned.

Using the hand wrapped around my wrist, he tugged me forward until I fell against his lips. I had to press a hand to the bed beside his head, in order to keep from losing my balance and falling on him completely.

As our lips moulded, and our tongues began to dance, his hands moved to grasp my waist as he began to work me against him faster and harder. His cock touched all the right places, and on this angle, I found the bundle of nerves between my thighs getting some action, which increased the pleasure by tenfold.

Sweat coated our bodies, the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room as all my senses drowned in Negan and sex. I was close. So close...

Tearing his lips from mine, he sat up and grabbed my shirt to pull it over my head before ripping my bra from my body. Leaning forward, he placed his mouth over my breast where he sucked and bit the skin. Reaching down, he slid his hand in between us. His fingers found my sensitive clit and pinched lightly, but perfectly, sending me over the edge.

Lifting his lips from my breast, he pressed them back to the spot behind my ear as my orgasm began. My hands gripped into his hair as my back arched, giving him more access to my skin.

Everything inside me, everything that had been building up, exploded in a rain of pleasure and ecstasy. Every inch of my skin vibrated. My mind went blank as my pulse thrummed in my ear. My toes curled and my thighs tightened around him.

He wasn't too far behind, emptying himself inside me with a long and loud groan. His body twitched, his arms wrapping around me, pulling me close as he pumped himself in and out of my core until his own climax ended.

As he pulled his now limp cock out, his teeth tugged on my ear lobe before he moved his face out of my hair and brought his eyes to meet mine.

I was finding it hard to sit up, already feeling the aftermath of my orgasm. My body was shutting down, wanting some much-needed rest.

Grinning, Negan watched me as I sat on top of him. He could tell I was exhausted. It was pretty obvious. Holding me, he rolled us over and laid me down so we were face to face, on our sides, doing so without saying a word.

His thigh slid in-between my legs and pressed against my core. His arm draped over me, caging me in. His other arm was tucked underneath my neck as he moved closer until our chests were touching. In a matter of moments, I was out like a light.

**  
**

**Chapter 28**

**Scars**

**VPOV**

Sighing, I opened my eyes, finding myself snuggling the pillow my head rested on as a lay on my stomach. The sheet of my bed was draped over half my back and my legs, leaving the rest of me bare.

"Sleep well?"

I turned my head to the right, seeing Negan sitting up, reading a magazine. I should have probably reacted to seeing him sitting there, naked, next to me, in my bed… but I was over fighting. I was too emotionally and mentally tired to care anymore.

That didn't mean I'd stopped hating him though. I would always hate him.

"Actually, yeah..." I groaned as I rolled over on to my side to face him. "Didn't realise this bed was so comfortable."

"Only the best." He grinned as he finally looked down at me.

I watched as his eyes locked onto mine, before they trailed down to take in the rest of me. Lying there, I didn't speak or move as his eyes roamed my body, not missing a single inch of skin. Then, they paused.

"What happened?" He nodded to all my scars.

Sighing, I turned over on to my back and looked down at the marks that were scattered all over me. "A lot of things. Most of them are from attacks."

"Attacks?" The word come out with a tone of anger, as if the thought of someone hurting me pissed him off.

I nodded. "Yeah. It's a long story." Shrugging, I looked up at him. "And I don't really care about them anymore. They're part of me."

Frowning, he put the magazine down onto the night stand to his right, before he turned to face me. "Tell me how you got them."

"It's a long story," I repeated.

He shrugged. "I've got time."

Laughing lightly, I looked down at the marks again. "Where do I even start?"

Reaching out, he rested his finger on my shoulder, right near one of the scars. "How about this one?"

I looked down at it as the memory came to mind. "We lived in a prison, and a lot of our people got sick. They were dying. I got sick..." My eyes found the roof as I went on, "Things went bad, people started turning, a panic broke out in the cell block we were locked in. This idiot had brought a gun in with him and went to shoot a walker, but the bullet hit me instead."

The memory of brought forth memories of Glenn, and Hershel, and Sasha, and Lizzie... but I pushed them back, knowing I'd cry if I thought about them.

"And this one?" His finger brushed down my arm a little bit until it sat next to another scar.

"Shot again." I didn't even have to look at it to know what scar he was talking about. "This one was earlier. We'd just found the prison and the leader of a community close by made it his mission to try and kill us. I was stuck in the field when the asshole shot the place up and drove a van full of walkers through our gates, letting them loose in the fields."

The memory brought more thoughts forward. Of Hershel and Glenn again, but also Daryl and Merle. I pushed these back as well.

"Here?" His pointed to a fresher cut.

I looked down, at the mark. "We were looking for supplies, came across a walker. One of our people, he shot at it. He didn't see the grenades on the walker's belt. They blew up, I flew back, and a piece of metal got stuck in my side."

Noah, Aiden, Nicholas, Tara, Eugene and Glenn came to mind then... but I pushed it back still.

He ran a finger over the mark, causing me to take in a sharp breath, before he trailed his finger to another scar. "What about this one?"

I looked down at the scar I shared with my brother. "Shot again. It was an honest mistake, though. I'd been walking around the forest, looking for a little girl with my dad, his friend and my brother. We came across a deer just as a man shot at it. Some of the shards hit my brother, one made it into me."

Dad, Carl, Sophia, Carol, Maggie, Beth, Hershel, Shane. They all came to mind then... I pushed them away just like the others.

Moving his finger over, he brushed one of the many cut scars I had on my chest. "And this one?"

I looked down at his hand. "Before the prison. We'd lived on a farm. It got over run. I was separated from the rest of my people. These men found me and tried..." The words caught in my throat.

Negan's eyes snapped to mine. "Victoria?"

"They tried to rape me," I explained, refusing to look at him. I didn't want him to see me weak. "They tied me up and stripped me down. The one that found me cut me all over with my own knife. I barely managed to get free. But when I did... I killed them all."

"Good." He gave a sharp nod.

"That wasn't the only time I was attacked like that. It wasn't even the first time. And it wasn't always a stranger," I noted. "My dad's friend... the one I kinda dated… he didn't take the break up very well. Daryl saved me before the guy could do anything, though. Then there were the ten men. Then the guy who'd shot up the prison. He's the one that realised I wouldn't give him anything even if he did rape me, so he didn't bother. I was kidnapped another time. I was taken to a hospital run by these cops. I had to work for one of them, and..." A tear escaped my eye. "He was the only one to actually go through with it."

Negan's jaw ticked as he looked down at me. His eyes were enraged, they'd gotten darker with each word I spoke. It was obvious he was pissed.

Needing to ease his mind, I spoke again, "They're all dead. All the people that touched me. They're dead now. And the cop... I killed him."

His eyes locked on to mine again. "You killed him?" I nodded. His body relaxed a little, his eyes softening slightly. "Good." Nodding, he let his eyes scan over my body again. "You've been through some shit, haven't you?"

"Mm-hmm."

There was a pause. I could tell he wanted to ask me something, but he didn't speak right away, as if he was trying to figure out if he should speak at all. Soon enough, he made up his mind.

"How many people have you killed?"

"Forty-one," I answered automatically and honestly.

Looking into my eyes again, a grin spread on his lips. "And you think I'm a bad guy for killing so many people."

I shook my head. "I think you're a bad guy for the reasons you kill people. Everyone I killed was for myself or my family. So we could survive."

"And you don't think me killing your friends is justified?" He gave me a pointed look. "How many of my people did your people kill?"

I hesitated a moment before answering. "I don't know."

"Exactly." He nodded. "And I've killed three of your people, compared to the dozens I've lost."

"Dwight killed Denise, too. And Arat killed Olivia," I noted.

There was an understanding in his eyes. "Is that why you don't like Dwight?"

"Yes. But, also because he tried to kill Rosita, Daryl, Abraham, Eugene and myself. And he shot Eugene and Daryl."

"Three of my men died that day."

"I know..." I swallowed hard. "I killed two of them."

He was taken aback for a moment as my words registered. "You? You killed them?" When I nodded, he looked at me wonderingly. "How many of my people have you killed? You must have some ide-"

I cut him off, giving him the exact number, "Sixteen."

Shocked into silence, he looked down at me for what felt like hours, before he responded, "Sixteen?"

"Two at the train tracks. Six at the compound. Six at one of your safehouses… that was after the two that kidnapped me... one of which was your wife."

I wasn't exactly sure what made me admit the full truth to him, but I had a feeling I did it because I was just so tired of secrets and lies. Not just my own, but everyone's. Besides, Negan would probably find out sooner or later...

Waiting for him to explode, now that he knew I was the reason his wife was died, I laid there, unmoving and silent as he pulled away and thought about what I'd said. He seemed to be struggling with the truth now as he looked down at the sheets and thought everything through.

When he turned back to me, I spoke before he had the chance, "If you're going to kill me... just get it over and done with."

He frowned. "Why would I kill you?"

"Because I killed your wife," I answered as if it were obvious.

"And I forced you to watch two of your friends die before I took your husband, and then took you away from your loved ones and your home. Pretty sure we can call it even."

"So... you don't hate me?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "No, I don't hate you. In fact, I find you very fucking interesting, Sweetheart."

The sound of a loud and heavy knocking on my door had us both look over at it. Neither of us spoke or moved at first. We just waited, listening out for who it might be.

"Uh… Negan?" A voice I didn't recognise called. "Simon's back."

"I'll be out in a minute!" Negan yelled back as he threw the sheet off him and stood up.

I took this time to really check him out. In the heat of the moment before, I hadn't really paid much attention to what he looked like naked. Now that my eyes were roaming his form, I found myself appreciating it.

He was lean, muscled in a discreet way so he looked like he could handle himself, but you couldn't be sure how strong he might actually be. Tattoos were scattered along his skin, placed here and there, like my scars- only fewer. I didn't particularly care for their meaning, but I appreciated the way they complimented his personality and aura. He didn't have as much chest hair as I thought he would, but I wasn't surprised it was a mix of dark and grey like his facial hair- which was slowly coming back.

Negan was good looking. I'd known that from the moment I first saw him. He was beautiful, in a dangerous way. He was the kind of beautiful that made your nerves rattle with fear, but also in excitement.

While I'd been admiring him, Negan had gathered his clothes and began to dress, not paying me any mind as he went about doing his thing. Leaning back now, he pulled the zip of his jeans up as his eyes settled on my form.

"You mind if I come back tonight?"

"You expecting sex again?" I countered, moving to sit up.

"I'm expecting a lot more sex." He grinned.

I shrugged. "Bring me food and I'll think about it."

Moving closer to the bed, he knelt his knee on the mattress, before leaning forward to cup my cheek and bring his lips to mine. "I'll bring you the whole damn kitchen, Sweetheart." His voice was low, deep and husky. "Just say the word and you can have everything." Pulling back, he grabbed his leather jacket off the floor before moving to the couch.

I watched him, licking my lips, enjoying the remaining tingle of the kiss. "I'm gonna need more clothes, by the way. I ruined a pair of jeans, and you ruined my shorts and underwear."

"If I'm not mistaken," he grabbed Lucille off the couch and turned to me, "it was your idea to ruin the shorts and underwear, Sweetheart."

"I didn't tell you to cut the underwear. And I didn't even hint or suggest that you rip my bra apart," I countered.

He grinned, chuckling lightly, twirling Lucille for a moment before resting her on his shoulder. "Fine. I'll get you some more clothes. Anything else?"

"Nope."

"Good." He moved towards the door, letting me cover myself with the sheet before opening it. "I'll be back later." With that, he walked out.

Now alone again, I shifted until I was lying down once more before closing my eyes, letting myself drift off to sleep again.

**NPOV**

I walked out of the Sanctuary and towards the gathering people. Simon and Eugene were part of the crowd waiting, watching me head over. There was an extra swagger in my step, and I had a feeling some people could tell. Some of them might even know why.

Victoria. I never thought she'd give in as easily as she did. Part of me wondered why. Had I won her over? Or had she just given up? Either way, it didn't matter, she was mine now.

The sex had been incredible. My wives, they went through the motions, gave me what I wanted, let me take control. They did what they had to in order to get the job done. Sometimes they were a little more into it than other times, but I wasn't an idiot, most of the time it was half-assed and basic.

We never fucked if they didn't want to though. I'm not some sick asshole. They have a choice. They have options. I know how it looks and sounds, but it's not rape. I despise that shit.

Hearing what Victoria went through, it made me hate it even more. It made me want to protect her even more. Knowing she'd been threatened, attacked, shot, beaten, stabbed… that was only what she'd told me. I had no doubt there was more.

But that was in the past. She was here now, with me, and there was no fucking way I was letting some fucker get their hands on her.

She didn't know it yet, but she was mine. That meant the world was hers. Whatever she wanted, she could have. Whatever she might need, she'd get. It also meant that any asshole who so much as looks at her wrong, was dead.

Putting a grin on my face, bringing my train of thought back to the people in front of me, I moved to the newest face.

"Dr Carson, am I right?" I asked, coming to stop in front of him.

He looked around, unsure, before nodding. "I assume you're Negan?"

"You would be correct." My grin grew. "Now, I hear you know about the unfortunate state of your brother."

"You killed him."

"That I did." I gave a short nod. "See, there are rules. Your brother broke those rules. That means an example needed to be made, and he needed to be punished. I'm sure, within time, you'll learn to understand and accept that." I shrugged. "Isn't that right, Eugene?"

Eugene nodded from where he stood next to our newest doctor. "Yes, sir."

Reaching over, I wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer, my grin still in place. "That is right." My eyes moved to Dr Carson again. "Now, I'm gonna have some of my men take you up to your new room. Show you around, let you get familiar with that place. Then, once you're settled, we'll get you to work." I nodded to some of my men, who then ushered the doc away. Once he was gone, I turned to Simon. "Gregory?"

"There's a little bit of adjusting to be made, changes aren't always easy at first, but he came around," He assured me.

"Good." I nodded. "Now, if you'll all excuse me," adjusting my hold on Lucille, I stepped away from Eugene, "I have some business to attend to. If anyone needs me, I'll be with my wives… so, don't need me." I gave everyone a pointed look before turning to head back inside.

I knew what they were thinking. But I wasn't going to my wives for sex. No, I was going to them for clothes. Victoria was mine now… and she was going to look and dress the part.

**DPOV**

After Enid had come to get Maggie and me, I'd gone to sit at my table again. Only this time I was watching everyone, taking in the place. If Maggie wanted to fight then these people had to be ready for war. Someone was going to have to get them to that point.

A few names came to mind. We had plenty of good fighters, but I wasn't sure if they could train others to fight.

Michonne could. Rick, too. But they were busy, and needed back at Alexandria. I knew Vic could, but she never liked being away from Aly or Judith for too long and train these people would take a while. Carol had taught a few people, but she wanted nothing to do with this anymore. Maggie could, but she was pregnant, there was going to come a time when she'd have to sit out.

Sasha, though, she was already here, and she was one of our best shots. Rosita knew a lot, and had trained the people back at Alexandria. If anyone could train these people, it would be them.

Pushing off the table, I headed over to the trailer, knowing Maggie and Enid were in there. Maybe one of them could tell me where Sasha was.

As I neared the trailer, I overheard them talking inside.

"What do you mean Sasha and Rosita left? I didn't even know Rosita was here?" Maggie noted, worried and disappointed.

"Sasha told me not to tell you," Enid explained. "She didn't want to worry you. She knew you'd try to help. That you'd want to go with them, or you'd try to stop them. She didn't want you getting hurt… or getting in the way."

Frowning, confused, I backed away from the trailer, not wanting them to hear me. I'd only heard part of the conversation, but it was enough. Rosita had come here, and then left with Sasha, and whatever they were planning on doing was dangerous.

We couldn't lose any more people. We couldn't afford to lose the numbers, but we also couldn't handle the loss. Sasha and Rosita were family, they were important. If they were going off to do something stupid, someone had to be there to stop them before they ended up dead.

I burst through the front doors to the large house at Hilltop, finding Jesus headed for the doors as well, about to leave.

He came to a stop once he saw me, a confused and concerned frown on his face. "Everything okay?"

"Where's Sasha and Rosita?"

**VPOV**

When I woke up I rolled over to find myself still alone. The sun was almost complete set, and my stomach was empty. I needed food.

Throwing the sheets off me, I got up and moved over to my dresser, grabbing the last pair of jeans and a simple white tee- which was a couple sizes too big. I pulled my hair into a high and messy bun, threw on some underwear, followed by the clothes, and slipped my feet into my pair of boots by the door.

When I opened the door, I expected to find Gary there. It was supposed to be his shift. But instead I found one of the last faces I wanted to see. Dwight.

"You get me the knife?"

"Not yet."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Negan asked me to watch you," he answered plainly.

I gave him a knowing look. "Does he think I'm gonna try to run off? Or does he think I'm completely unable to take care of myself?" When he didn't answer my question, I shook my head. "Well, come on then." I gestured down the hall, stepping out of my room before closing the door. "I'm hungry."

**DPOV**

I'd left the Hilltop. I took my bike and left them, headed straight for Alexandria. Jesus had come with me. I'd made him though. It was his fault my friends had left. If Sasha and Rosita were going to go kill Negan, Rick and the others had to know.

Reaching the gates of my home, I came to a stop, Jesus' car behind me rolling to a rest as well. We waited a moment before the gates rolled open, revealing Tobin and Gabriel. The looks on their faces didn't sit right with me. Riding through the gates, I moved away from before stopping again, shutting the motor off. Jesus had parked close by, getting out of his vehicle as we waited for Tobin and Gabriel to walk over, their eyes focused on me.

"What happened?" I asked them, not sure why they looked so concerned, and not liking it one bit.

"Rick said you were at the Kingdom," Gabriel noted, ignoring my question. "He said you wouldn't be back for a while."

"Well I'm back. So, what happened?" I pressed, voice harder, warning.

They both shared a look, neither of them wanting to answer. Tobin was the one to speak, "I think you should go talk to Rick."

I looked over at Jesus then, seeing the confused look on his face. He was just as clueless and curious as I was.

Knowing we weren't going to get an answer from these two, we turned and headed for the houses, leaving Tobin and Gabriel at the gates to stay on watch. It was dark out, the place quiet. Only a few people were around, but all of them looked our way, the same look on their faces.

"Is it just me, or is something really wrong?" Jesus asked, scanning the few people that were out before turning to me.

I shook my head, picking up the pace. "Nah, it ain't just you."

**  
**

**Chapter 29**

**Where is She?**

**VPOV**

While I'd been in the cafeteria Dwight had left. Apparently, he was needed somewhere else. So now I had Alden watching over me again. I decided, sitting there, that I was going to break one of Negan's rules and make Alden hang out with me.

I sat there for as long as possible and made him talk. I made him tell me things about himself, and I told him things about me. We even laughed a little. It wasn't a terrible time. In the end we were somewhat friends… or as close to friends as we could be in this situation…

During the whole time I'd spent in the cafeteria, I noticed something. No one other than Dwight and Alden had spoken to me… but people had looked over at me.

Not the workers, they were oblivious. But the Saviours? They knew something was different. Word had gotten around. They knew I'd slept with Negan.

They didn't know how crappy I was feeling about it. Despite the fact I'd tried to turn my emotions off and let myself run on my more basic instincts and needs… there were still parts of me grasping on to what little sanity and humanity I had left.

One of those things was the painful and heart-breaking memory of my long, lost best friend.

As I walked down the halls, head hanging in shame, hands tucked into the pockets of my jeans, my mind conjured up a scene from a happier, less complicated time…

_We were at the CDC. Everyone had moved to their rooms to shower and get ready to sleep. I'd been alone, simply brushing my hair. That was until there was a knock on my door._

_"Come in," I called. Suddenly the door burst open, revealing Glenn, T-Dog and Daryl. "What are you guys doing?" I laughed._

_They had a bottle of alcohol each, Daryl actually had two. Glenn could hardly stand, and T-Dog was almost the same. Though Daryl seemed to be fine, if only a little drunk._

_"Hey Vickie." Glenn grinned, stumbling in before collapsing on the couch beside me. "What are you doing?"_

_I kept brushing my hair, smiling at my drunk friend. "What does it look like?"_

_T-Dog and Daryl walked in, T-Dog sat on one of the chairs, while Daryl sat on the ground in front of me._

_"Here." Daryl handed me the extra bottle. "Ain't fun just watchin' people drink."_

_I smiled and took the bottle from him. "How thoughtful of you," I said before taking a drink of the wine. "So who's idea was it to come annoy me?"_

_"_ Me _!" Glenn grinned, raising his hand. "I wanted to see you. Make sure you were okay." He nodded, leaning against me._

_I rolled my eyes as his head rested on my shoulder. "Really?"_

_"The kid's got a crush," T-Dog laughed_.

Sighing, I lifted my head, fisting my hands in my pockets. I couldn't let myself crumble into the past. I couldn't let myself think about those I'd left behind.

Me coming here, was me leaving them. The moment I told Negan I would trade myself for Daryl's freedom, was the moment I signed my life away. I would never see my family again. I was going to live and die here. How long that might be, I wasn't sure. But for now, I had to admit the inevitable and give in.

That doesn't mean I was giving up. Not entirely. I wasn't going to fall into the hands of Negan and become one of his mindless followers. I wasn't going to become one of his wives. But I would follow his rules, and live under his roof, I was just going to do it my way.

Reaching my room, I brought my hand up and grabbed the handle, only glancing back at Alden briefly before I stepped into the confines of my room.

If I said I was surprised to see Negan sprawled out on my couch, I'd be lying. It's not that I'd been expecting him to be there, it was more like I was waiting for him to make an appearance.

There he was, set on my couch, one arm holding Lucile as she rested on the ground, the other arm was stretched out along the back of my couch. His feet were stretched out in front of him, taking up as much space as possible. Then there was that shit eating grin he frequently wore, plastered right on his lips.

"Evening," he uttered the single word, his voice as dark and tempting as ever.

"Hi," I responded, closing the door behind me. My eyes landed on the tray of food set on the counter in my kitchen. "I've eaten," I told him as I kicked off my boots, leaving them by the door.

"I heard." He pulled himself up from the couch. That's all he did though. He just stood there.

Not looking his way, I moved over to the kitchen, grabbing the tray to put it in my fridge for later. "What can I do for you, Negan?"

He walked over to join me in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, his grin still firmly in place. "Haven't seen you in a few hours, Sweetheart. I missed you."

"Is that so? You sure you're not here to make sure I haven't killed Dwight and made a run for it?" I asked, looking at him in the corner of my eye.

He chuckled. "I gotta admit, I was worried about leaving him with you."

"Simon would have been a better choice," I noted.

"Simon was busy. But if you like him so much, you can spend the day with him tomorrow," he offered.

"Doesn't matter now, anyway. Alden is watching me."

"Alden?" I swear there was tension in his voice.

I gave a sharp nod. "Yes. Alden. My friend."

"Thought I said you couldn't have friends."

"Well, this is me reminding you that I am my own person." Turning, I locked my eyes onto his. "If you don't want me being friends with my guards then you could trust me and let me be by myself," I suggested.

"Not gonna happen," he said simply. "Sorry, Sweetheart, but I don't trust my people with you. And I certainly don't trust you on your own. Never seen a woman do the things you do." His eyes raked over my form. "You're something else, you know that?"

"I'm just another person you like to control."

"I don't know." He shrugged. "You had a lot of the control earlier."

I shook my head and moved away. "Let's get one thing straight Negan. We are never, ever sleeping together again. Do you understand? And we are never talking about what happened. Not with each other. Not with anyone else. What happened was a mistake," I told him, taking a seat at the end of my bed.

His grin fell in an instant. "A mistake?"

"You killed three of my friends, took and tortured my husband, and are stealing from my people. I killed sixteen of your people, including one of your wives. Nothing can ever happen between us."

Slowly his face softened as his grin returned. "Nothing can ever happen between us? Really?" He came over to stand in front of me. "Sweetheart, I've noticed the way you react to me. And I didn't hear any complaints earlier." He gave me a smug, knowing look. "Just admit it. The only reason why you don't want anything happening, is because you're scared of what your people might think if they found out."

"You're right." I nodded. "They'd hate me. My father, my brother, my daughter. All my friends. My husband. I already hate myself for sleeping with you. I'd die if they ever found out."

"The moment you came here was the moment you decided to leave them all behind," he stated the very thing I'd been reminding myself all day. "You are mine now. Not Rick's. Not Daryl's. So, whatever they think... it doesn't matter."

"It does, Negan. Because no matter what you say or do or think, I will never be yours. I will always belong with them. I may not see them again, but I will always be Victoria, daughter of Rick Grimes and wife of Daryl Dixon. There's nothing you can do to change that, except kill me."

As he continued to glare at me, I could tell he was not liking what I was saying. So, I quickly went on, in the hopes he wouldn't get too mad and then do something stupid.

"But you're right about the rest, too," I started. "I want you. I hate that I do. But I can't control it. Nothing will ever grow from that. I will never love you, Negan." I gave a short shrug of my shoulder. "I'm not sure I can love anyone else."

He watched me, looking down as I looked up. There was an intensity in his eyes. He was deep in thought, trying to work through everything I'd just said. It was a lot to take in, I knew that. I also knew I was basically telling him he would never win, not completely. Negan didn't like not winning.

"I want to make another deal."

Confused, I tilted my head slightly. "A deal?"

"You're never gonna commit to me like my other wives do. And you're never gonna get over Daryl," he noted, stating the obvious. "But I can't let you go. And I can't keep myself away from you. So, I wanna make another deal."

"What deal do you wanna make?" I asked, carefully and cautiously.

"We fuck." There was no beating around the bush there. "In exchange, I will let you leave the Sanctuary. Under _my_ supervision," he quickly added. "I'll take you back to Alexandria to see your family. You can roam around the community freely. Skip merrily through the grass, I don't give a shit. But you will always come back with me."

I scoffed. "What makes you think I'm gonna agree to that?"

"Because if you're not fucking me, you're working for me. That means you work for points. And if you work for points, you can't leave the compound. " He simply gave a short shrug. "They're the rules, Sweetheart."

Shaking my head, I sighed, "This is ridiculous."

He surprisingly didn't say some smart-ass comment. Instead he simply watched me as I sat there, thinking over his offer and what might happen if I said no, or yes. There weren't many good endings either way.

"If my family see us together," I looked up at him again, "and let's face it, you're going to rub the deal in their faces… they'll hate me. They'll probably never want to see me again."

"If that's the case, you deserve better. Whoever you let between those legs, is up to you. I'm not the first asshole you've slept with."

"No." I admitted. "But you're different…"

I wanted him. There was no point in denying it. But I hated him, too. Those two things contradicted each other. It made my decision harder.

If I said yes to the deal, I could see my friends and family. But I would also have to sleep with Negan, which I was half okay with, but it also meant my family and friends would eventually find out, and end up despising me.

If I said no to the deal, I would never see any of them again. I would never get to laugh with Aly again. I would never see dad, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Rosita, Tara, Aaron, Eric, Gabriel. I would never see my friends and family ever again...

Daryl was in my thoughts. Of course he was in my thoughts. I never stopped thinking about him. I felt horrible for betraying him. If he found out about what I'd done, I wouldn't blame him for hating me. I think I'd want him to hate me. _I_ hated me. My skin crawled at the thought of what I'd done to him. But at the same time... there was that sick part of me that had liked letting go. Giving up was a easy. Knowing I would probably never see Daryl again made it a lot easier...

That's what made my mind up. The thought of never seeing my family again... even if they hated me, at least I could say goodbye one last time. Once that was over, I could live here, ignoring my conscience while trying to be moderately happy until I either die... or get killed- my moneys on the latter.

"Fine," I sighed. "You have a deal." I stretched my hand out, offering it to him.

Grin slipping back into place, he stretched out and grabbed my hand. But instead of shaking it, he pulled me up onto my feet. "How about we seal this deal with a kiss?"

My eyes were instantly glued on his lips as he waited for an answer, slowly leaning down. It still surprised me that Negan wasn't the forceful type.

Slowly, nervously, I nodded my head.

Grin widening ever so slightly, he leaned forward to close the last of the distance between us until his lips pressed against mine in a soft and sweet, but short kiss that had butterflies swimming in my stomach, and my mind turning to goo.

Pulling back before he pulled back a little. Staying close still, his grin still in place, his eyes searched mine. He stayed silent, as if waiting for me to break the silence first.

"Have you got plans tonight?" I finally spoke, finding myself a little breathless.

His grin widened. "Free all night, Sweetheart."

"Do you... would you... I, um..." Looking away, I took a deep breath before blabbing out the words, "I want you to stay with me. I don't think I can sleep alone."

Once again, I was met with silence as Negan continued to watch me. I couldn't see his face, but I had no doubt he was still be grinning at me. He almost always was grinning. Everything was amusing to him... it was infuriating.

Slowly, he lifted his hand to my chin, lifting it so I'd meet his gaze again. I was surprised to see his grin now gone. "I'll stay as long as you want," was all he said before he gently let go of my chin and stepped back.

Moving around to the right side of my bed, he began to pull his jacket off, laying it on the bedside table before he sat on the mattress. I watched for a moment before walking around to the other side before setting myself down as well.

He shifted until his back was against my pillows. I kept my back to him as I grabbed the hair brush from my night stand, and began to run it though my hair. I stopped when he reached out to gently grab my arm and tug.

It was all I needed before I moved myself. Scooting back, I moved until I was pressed against the pillows next to him. Once settled, I began to run the brush through my hair again.

He grabbed the magazine off the table on his side, the one he'd been reading when he was in my bed before. For a while we just stayed there, him reading, me brushing. We were silent until he looked over and spoke up.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" I asked back.

He chuckled lightly. "Always entertaining, Sweetheart." Shifting, he grabbed the brush, stopping me. "What are you doing?"

"It's a coping thing." I shrugged. "Done it since I was a little girl. Was something my mum used to do to help whenever I was upset or stressed."

Nodding, seeming to understand a little, he looked away ever so slightly before asking, "Were you there when your brother...?"

I shook my head. "We'd all been separated. The place we lived in got swarmed and we all ran off. After it was all done..." My eyes fell to my lap. "Before that I'd been out on my own for months. They all found me but I'd been a mess. I'd only just gotten her back." My voice broke a little.

Cupping my cheek, Negan turned my face so I looked at him again. "I'm sorry. I truly am."

Funny thing was, I could tell he meant it. Not for killing Abraham and Glenn, because in his mind it had to be done, but he was sorry I'd been there. Seeing him looking at me so sincerely and apologetically, it eased the pain ever so slightly, though not enough to heal my heart.

I gave him a sad smile. "I know."

This time, there was hesitation before he leaned forward to press his lips to mine. But when he did, there was still that familiar buzz I whenever we kissed.

Pulling away, I licked my lips as I looked him in the eyes. "I just want to sleep."

Understanding, he nodded before we both began to shift, getting underneath the blanket. We kept out clothes on as we adjusted ourselves until we were lying on the bed, in the same position we'd slept in last night.

It was odd, being like this with him. But with the deal made, I saw no reason not to let go completely- which I guess meant I was more willing to be vulnerable around him now...

**RPOV**

I stood on the porch outside with Michonne, rocking Judith in my arms. We'd just finished an early breakfast. It was almost time to get going. The plan was to leave before dawn. Head out to the community Tara had told me about. We had the people, the weapons we needed to get the job done. We were just waiting for everyone to finish getting ready.

Carl was inside, feeding Houdini. He'd stepped up and started taking care of the dog after Vickie had left. None of us talked about it. None of us could bare to think about it. All we knew was that we were going to do everything we could to get her back.

Aly hadn't said a word to anyone since Vickie had left. She'd barely left her room. Spent all her time with Houdini and Judith. That's when she wasn't crying. The sound of her sobs filled the house at night. It was heart breaking.

"Rick…" Michonne's eyes were wide and worried, set out towards the road in front of the house.

I turned, a confused frown on my face… that was until I saw what she'd been looking at. Jesus and Daryl, headed right our way.

"Here." I handed Judith over to her. "Take her inside."

"Are you sure?" She looked a little concerned. She didn't want me to have to do this on my own.

But I simply nodded, knowing it was best Judith wasn't here. The less people around, the better.

Once Michonne had taken my youngest daughter and walked inside, I headed for the porch steps, hurrying down them and onto the road, trying to get to Daryl before he could get to the house. Trying to get to the husband of my oldest daughter before all hell broke loose.

"I thought we told you to stay at the Kingdom," I told him, hoping I could convince him to leave before he found out the truth.

He looked from me, to the house, his patience already running thin. "What happened?"

_Shit…_

"Look, Daryl-" That's all I managed before he was pushing passed me and heading for the house. "Daryl, stop!" I called after him. "Wait!" I grabbed his shoulder to stop him just as he'd reached the porch steps.

He shrugged me off and spun of his heels, pissed. "What happened? Where is she?"

It was too late. Daryl knew. He knew there was something wrong with Vickie. She's the only reason why anyone would treat him differently. She's the only thing that worried him this much.

There was nothing I could do now. I had to tell him the truth.

"After we left the Kingdom we came back here. The Saviours, they came looking for you," I explained, lifting a hand up to put some distance between us. "They searched the whole community. Looked everywhere."

He nodded, pacing a couple of steps, breathing heavily. "They hurt her?"

Averting my eyes, I glanced over at Jesus who stood off to the side, watching, waiting. He looked concerned, for Victoria and because of the situation in front of him. Daryl was a ticking time bomb at the best of times. When it came to Vickie, there was no stopping him.

Still not looking at him, I answered, "They took her."

There was a pause. He stopped pacing as he looked to me, his breathing getting heavier. Then it all happened at once.

Lunging forward, he grabbed my shirt in his fists, shoving me against the side of the porch, holding me there as he breathed heavily in my face, his eyes wild and dangerous.

Jesus moved to help me as the front door opened, Michonne hurrying out and down the stairs to help as well. I lifted my hands up, gesturing for them to stop and stay back. If they jumped in they'd only be making things worse.

"You let 'em take her?! You know what they did to me? What they're doin' to her?!" As Daryl yelled at me his face got redder, spit flying out of his mouth as his nostrils flared. "She's your daughter!"

"I know." I nodded, staying calm despite the fact I wanted nothing more than to punch him in his face. It's not like I wanted Vickie to go. "I know. But I had no choice. And I didn't _let_ them take her. She chose to."

The anger washed from his face- though not completely. "She went with 'em?"

"She knew it was the only way to keep them from taking someone else… or killing someone else," I added, needing to underline how bad the situation had been. "She knew if she didn't go Negan wouldn't stop looking for you. She did it to protect everyone."

He let go of my shirt and pulled back, the anger still on his face as he started to pace on the spot again, mulling over my words. Jesus, Michonne and I didn't dare move as we watched and waited for him to say or do something else.

The sound of the front door opening did nothing to calm him. It was the soft voice that followed that made him pause his pacing.

"Daddy?"

Daryl looked up at Aly as she stood on the first porch step, dressed in her long, light purple pyjama pants and an oversized white shirt. Her stuffed deer toy was clutched to her chest as she looked to him with wide tear brimmed eyes.

All the anger washed away as Daryl moved over to the stairs, climbing them until he could reach her. Without a word, without looking back at any of us, he collected her into his arms and walked inside.

**VPOV**

I was woken by the sound of gunshots and panic. Sitting up right, with wide eyes, I looked to my door, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. I had no weapons. No way of protecting myself…

Negan, who had been asleep next to me, suddenly sat up as well. He reached over grabbing me, pulling me off the bed.

"Go, go." He ushered me over to the couch, shoving me behind it. "You stay here, and you don't move until I come get you. Understand?" His eyes bore into mine as he waited for an answer.

I nodded. "I understand."

"Good." He pulled back and walked out of the room.

I stayed where I was, doing as he said, flinching at the sound of more gunshots and frantic yelling.

**  
**

**Chapter 30**

**Crossed a Line**

**MPOV**

"You need to cover this with a tarp," I told Eduardo as I leaned into one of the garden beds, digging into the dirt with a trowel.

"A tarp? Why?"

"Think about it." I shrugged, pulling back.

"Okay. Just tell me."

Sighing, I tossed the trowel onto the dirt, dusting my glove covered hands onto my already mucky jeans. "We want warmth so they'll put out shoots before the fast freeze. That way, we pull back the tarp, they die naturally, saves on all the endless weeding," I explained. "Get to tarping."

"You got it, boss lady." He nodded, smiling… until he saw me walking away. Then he looked panicked. "Uh… wait." He chuckled nervously. "Where are you going? I, uh… I'm not a farmer. I need some help here."

"No, you don't." I gave him a reassuring smile. "I saw a wild blueberry bush growing outside. If it's young enough, I'm gonna pull it up and replant it here. Good one will produce for over forty years. We got to start acting like we'll be around that long."

Nodding slowly, he relaxed a little- though only a little. "Cool. Yeah."

"Just tarp," I told him, having complete faith. "Don't touch. I'll see how you do after."

Turning, I went to leave, only to stop as I caught Gregory's eye. He was only a few feet away, having been listening to Eduardo and me, pretending to take notes in one of his note books.

We hadn't talked much. There was still some pretty thick and uncomfortable tension between us. He didn't want me here, and I didn't like him. But we'd both come to realise there was no point in arguing anymore. I had to be here for the baby, and he had to deal with it or he was going to have a mutiny on his hands.

**VPOV**

I was pacing in my room. Back and forth. Back and forth. I was chewing on my nail, glancing at the door here and there, nervous and worried as all hell.

Last night had been chaos. Someone had broken into the Sanctuary and managed to shoot down a few people. In the hurry to unarm the person and get them locked up, the dead bodies had been momentarily forgotten. Of course, they hadn't stayed dead for long, and rose as walkers.

But it had all been handled.

Maybe a handful of people had died, five at the most. That pissed Negan off, of course, but he wasn't blind to the fact that it could have been worse.

Once the attacker had been unarmed and captured, they were sent to the cells down a set of halls I wasn't allowed down. Really the cell were just rooms, at least that's how Eugene had explained it when he brought me breakfast.

Before that, Negan had come back to my room. Seeing him unharmed had actually been a relief. There was a second where I'd been genuinely worried about him, then another second where I was glad he was okay. Then I'd mentally kicked myself and reminded my emotions that they were supposed to hate the man.

It wasn't hard to hate him after he told me who the attacker was.

One of my people. A woman. Black. Fiery temper. Angry eyes. One hell of a shot. Didn't take me long to figure out who he was talking about.

Sasha.

After he'd told me who it was he'd left my room. That smug grin had been on his face as he closed the door behind him. He knew having one of my people here was the worst torture I could possibly endure.

Hurt me all you want, I didn't care. Hurt one of my people? I'd rather sacrifice my own life to save them even the smallest amount of pain.

A beat was rapped on my door before the handle was turned and the person walked in. It was Negan, unsurprisingly.

My heart was racing, my eyes wide as I hurried over to him, desperation smothering my face and voice. "Let me see her."

He shook his head, moving to rest Lucille on his shoulder. "Not gonna happen, Sweetheart."

"Negan, please." My voice broke. "Please, just let me see her. Let me talk to her. Just for a second. Please. I just wanna know that my family is okay. I wanna know she's okay. _Please_ ," I begged, grasping his shirt, not caring how weak and desperate I was in that moment.

Grin tugging on the corner of his lips as he looked down at me, he brought his free hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. "Okay." He slowly nodded. "On one condition."

I didn't even hesitate to respond. "Anything."

Pulling away from me, he walked over to my dresser, opened the first drawer and pulled out a black dress. "You got no more jeans, and that shirt is soaked with nervous sweat and tears." He gestured to the clothes I was in now. "Wear the dress."

I was well aware of what the dress symbolized. All his wives wore black dresses. Little, simple, cute things. They wore heels, and jewellery and makeup too. They always looked good. But considering they were the wives of the fireless leader all these people followed, no less was expected.

If I wore that dress, it would send a message to anyone and everyone who saw me… including Sasha.

But, still, I wanted to see her. I needed to see her, and if that meant I had to give in to Negan just that little bit more, then so be it.

Standing there, keeping eye contact with him, I began to undo the buttons of my shirt, undressing right in front of him, keeping a straight face as I did.

His grin was on full display now, proud and smug.

**RPOV**

Holding onto Michonne's foot, I gave her a push, helping her so she could climb up a tall tree. From up there she'd have a pretty good vantage point of the area surrounding us. We needed that just in case the plan didn't run as smoothly as we hoped.

"Once you're up, watch for the signal," I reminded her.

Getting up so she could stand on the lowest branch, she looked down at me, breathing heavily. "What time does the clock start?"

"Soon as she's in," I told her, watching as she stayed there, thinking about something- probably the plan… "You good?"

"I'm good enough," she responded.

Knowing that was all I was getting, I gave her a short nod before turning to leave, heading over to the others. Francine, Tobin, Gabriel, Eric, Aaron, Jesus, Enid, Carl, Daryl, Michonne and myself had followed Tara out to the community she'd come across while out here looking for supplies.

The plan was getting set into place, some of us preparing explosives, other's getting into position, while the rest of us kept an eye out. We were in unfamiliar terrain, dealing with unknown people. We needed to be extra careful out here.

**DPOV**

As I laid out the wiring for the explosives, Jesus walked around from behind me, something clearly on his mind. He was being careful around me though. Everyone was.

When I got back to Alexandria last night and found out Vic was gone… I was ready to kill everyone. I was so angry it didn't matter who got in my way. All I knew was that I had to do something, and at the time that meant hurting someone.

But Aly had calmed me down. Her calling me dad. It had struck a nerve, calmed me down, reminded me where I was and who was with me. She made me think of Vic, and what she'd think if she found out I'd grabbed Rick the way I had.

Still, I'd been too angry to face anyone. So, I grabbed Aly and took her upstairs to the room I shared with Vic. I got her settled into the bed while I sat there, the dog curled up by my feet. Just sat there for a few hours, making sure she was okay as she slept while I waited.

Carl had been the one to tell me what everyone was doing. Hadn't liked the idea of leaving Aly, but I knew I had to do something or I was going to do something stupid.

I'd slipped off the bed, without waking the dog or the little girl, and left. I didn't care what we were doing, or why. Didn't care how dangerous it was, or if I might have to hurt people. All I cared about was the fact it would help us get Vic back. That's all that mattered to me right now.

"I should've tried harder to stop Rosita and Sasha," Jesus spoke up, still behind me. "If they'd have just waited one more day…"

It was eating him up, I could tell. He really thought things would have turned out differently if he'd stopped them. But there was no stopping those two, they were as determined and stubborn as Vic could be.

"Well, Sasha's a good shot, and Rosita knows how to take care of herself," I assured him, despite my mood. "Probably back at Hilltop right now. Least I hope so. We're gonna need 'em," I grunted. "There's a whole lot of people still got to die."

**NPOV**

I led Victoria down some halls, heading towards the cells. Her guard was with us, a few steps behind, silent and waiting for orders. She was silent too. I could only guess how nervous and excited she must be. I doubt she ever expected to see one of her people so soon.

As we neared the cell I noticed the fact that no one was standing outside… and the door was open. My concern grew as I wondered if the crazy woman had gotten out and was now roaming the factory. Who knows what damage she could do?

But my train of thought came to a halt as I heard a voice from inside the room.

"Fighting's just gonna make it last longer. Which, for the record, is fine by me."

Davey.

I adjusted my hold on Lucille, reaching the door just in time to hit her against the door, making a loud clang which startled both Davey and the woman inside.

"David!" I stepped into the small room and towards the man. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

He scrambled to his feet, trying to hide the fact that his pants were undone. "Negan, sir-"

I cut him off, not wanting to hear it, "Do you really think I need you to answer that? I can see that you're trying to rape this woman. You were trying to rape this woman, weren't you?" I stepped closer to him. "This is some unacceptable behavior. Rape is against the rules here. I wouldn't wanna be somewhere where it wasn't. Someone in charge who let something like that fly…" I shook my head. "But you already knew all that. Especially after what you tried with Victoria."

Turning, I gestured to her as she stood a step outside of the room, looking equally pissed and worried. She was pissed at Davey. She wanted to rip into him. Leave him as nothing but a pile of mush and innards on the cold concrete floor we stood on. She was also concerned for her friend. I didn't blame her though. She knew all too well what it's like to be assaulted like that.

Pulling my knife from my belt, I looked to David again, holding the blade between us, just below his face. "David. You really crossed a line here."

His whole body shook, eyes glued to the knife as he managed to speak through his fear. "I'm sorry, sir."

Dropping the knife to my side, I leaned back a little, watching him, thinking it over. I wasn't thinking about his apology. I wasn't thinking about giving him another chance. I wasn't thinking about letting him go. No, I was thinking about how I should kill this asshole.

In the end, I decided to just do it right then and there.

Lifting the knife again, I brought it up and stabbed him in the neck, letting the blade slowly slide through his flesh. "You know what?" He grunted and gasped, eyes wide as he stood there dying. "I do not accept your apology." With that I yanked the blade from his neck and let him drop to the floor.

He dropped hard and heavy. Blood pulled around him and soaked into his clothes as he fell silent. He was well and truly dead now.

Sighing, I whistled, getting the attention of Victoria's guard. "Hey!" I turned to him. "Get, uh…" Pausing, I looked to the woman, waiting for her to fill in the blanks.

"Sasha," both Victoria and the woman answered at the same time.

Grinning, I nodded to Sasha. "That is a beautiful name." Turning again, I looked to the guard. "Get Sasha here a new T-shirt."

He scurried off without missing a beat, leaving me with the two women.

Crouching down, I moved closer to Sasha and reached around her, using my knife to cut at her binds. "I'm sorry you had to see that. Sorry 'bout the rope, too. Probably overkill, but you did cause one hell of a fracas last night."

As I got to my feet and moved back I caught a glimpse of Victoria in the corner of my eye. She shifted on the spot nervously, watching her friend. Sasha moved so she could lean her back against the corner, her eyes darting over to Victoria every couple of seconds.

Looking between the two of them, something clicked.

"Oh, shit." I chuckled, eyes on Sasha. "I remember you. Yeah. You were there." I clicked my tongue twice. "Oh, hell. I get it now. I got to hand it to you. You've got some beach-ball-sized lady nuts on you, coming in all kamikaze like that. Big question here, and I need the truth on this one…" I pointed the end of Lucille at her. "Did Rick put you up to this?"

"Rick? Your bitch?" Sasha looked up at me. "No."

I chuckled lightly. "Either way, you must've thought it was gonna be the end, coming in on your lonesome like that. But that's not the way it's got to go. Uh-uh. Just the opposite. See, this," I gestured between her and me, "well, this could be the beginning."

People are a resource. I wasn't going to kill her. I wasn't going to make it that easy. No, instead, I was going to give her a choice. Everyone gets a choice.

Lifting the knife in front of me, I gave her a pointed look before I crouched down again, setting the weapon by her crossed legs. "This knife is yours now. You can try to use it, take me out, but considering I am standing above you, holding a baseball bat, that doesn't seem real smart. Now, you can use it to slit your wrists, which would be a damn shame, but I get it. You're obviously not on the shiny side of the street, given recent events.

"Now, you can sit there and do nothin', wait for ol' David to come back to life and eat your face, also a damn shame and kinda nuts, but, hell, to each their own." I got to my feet, stepping back again." Or you can use that blade and stop ol' Rapey Davey from becoming Dead-Alive Rapey Davey. Save yourself. Join the cause. I know what I'd do."

"What?"

"I'm a man short. Hell, you can't really call this piece of shit a man." I gestured to David's dead form. "But still, I'm short, and you got those beach-ball-sized lady nuts, and I wanna harness the heat comin' off of 'em. You can help me run this place one day, all of us together, following the rules, workin' on the same side of things. That's all this was ever about. And it still can be for you.

"I know it's hard to picture, considering what I did. But, Sasha, we all got shit to get over." I crouched down in front of her once more. "Take some time. Think about it. Whatever you decide, so it shall be. No pressure. And, again, I am sorry you had to see that," I nodded to Davey, "even though I know you have seen some things. I just want you to understand we are not monsters."

Getting to my feet, I brought Lucille up to my shoulder and walked out of the cell block, coming to stand next to Victoria. She was still looking into the cell as she stood there, quiet and patient.

Reaching over, I closed the cell door, putting the lock into place. Victoria tore her eyes from the door and glared up at me. She didn't have to say anything for me to understand.

"If she chooses to live, _then_ you can come by. I'll even let you two have a moment alone in there. Talk it out. Get some things off your chest. Hell, you might even be able to convince her it's not so bad here."

"And if she chooses to die?" Her glare stayed in place.

"Then she made her choice… and I'll let you go out and pick a spot where we can bury her," I offered.

Her glare softened to surprise. "Even if she's a walker? You won't string her up on the fence like you do with all the others?"

Moving closer to her, I brought my hand up to cup her face, my thumb stroking her cheek. "I'm not gonna make you look out at your dead friend every Goddamn day, Sweetheart. Like I said, we're not monsters."

**MPOV**

I listened to the birds chirp and the insects buzz as I knelt on the ground, digging at the weeds, grass and dirt, trying to pry the blueberry bush out. Footsteps caught my attention. I turned to see Gregory headed my way. Getting back to work, I waited until he stopped a few steps away before I spoke up.

"Don't think I've seen you outside the walls."

"Well, I built these walls to use them," he noted. "If I want greenery, I eat a salad."

Pausing for a moment, collecting myself before I reacted to how annoying he was, I looked up at him as I continued to work. "Then why are you here?"

"I was hoping we could talk. Then I saw you come out here alone. I was concerned. Where are your friends?"

"They went out," I answered shortly not telling him anymore. I didn't know the whole story, but even if I did I wouldn't tell him. It was none of his business. "They're looking for something they need."

"Without you? Now, I'm just wondering… why you still here, Maggie? Hmm? With Carson gone…" He left the sentence hanging. I knew what he meant. With no doctor, there was no reason for me to stick around.

"I heard you were gonna get him back." I paused and looked up at him again. "That not true?" I asked, my tone falsely sweet and naïve. "Was it just something you said?"

He chuckled lightly and knowingly. "Maggie, you've got to start trusting me. You know, people are tense, they're worried. Everybody'd be a hell of a lot better if-if we could present a-a united front."

"It would be a lot easier if we actually were a united front," I countered, tired of the bullshit.

"You're right. I need to be more open to working together. I apologise. I never intended for things between us to come to this point."

"I appreciate that. It's never too late to change." I nodded, getting back to work. "You know that? If you're serious, I'll come by later and we can talk more."

"Fine. Great."

Twig snaps

The sound of movement had both of us freeze. When nothing came out, I turned to him again. "I thought this'd just take a second. Would you mind keeping an eye out while I finish up? Could you do that?"

"Happy to."

Digging in the dirt, I focused on the task at hand, while also paying a little attention to Gregory. I was not an idiot. I didn't trust him. So, if he was going to try something, I was going to be ready.

A twig snapped in the distance.

Gregory turned to see what it was, letting out a startled gasp as a walker came out. "Oh! We got one."

I got to my feet, dusting my hands off, still holding the trowel. "I'll do it."

But before I could take a second step, he stopped me. "Uh, uh. I'm here to protect the pregnant lady. Don't need the pregnant lady to protect me."

"Have you ever killed one before?"

"I wouldn't be here if I hadn't," he answered. But I saw something in his eyes. I could tell he was lying.

"It's fine. I got it," I told him, moving forward.

"No."

Suddenly he hurried ahead of me, trying to make a point. But as he got closer to the walker he quickly pulled back, startled. The groaning and moaning thing reached out for him, causing Gregory to promptly turn back to me.

"Oh, Jesus. Fine. Do it."

Having done this thousands of times, I moved forward, adjusting my grip on the trowel. I kept myself away from the snapping jaws and I grabbed the walker's shoulder. He struggled against me, making it a little difficult to kill right away, but it wasn't the hardest walker I'd dealt with.

Before I could kill it though, Gregory called out in a panic.

"Maggie! Please help me!"

Using the trowel, I quickly managed to stab the walker in the head before turning. Gregory was on the ground, struggling with a second walker as its teeth neared his face.

Without a sound, and with a little bit of haste, I moved over towards them. Grasping the trowel slightly tighter, I then brought it down into the skull of the snapping walker, and then pulled the tool out, causing rotten blood to spray onto Gregory and his suit.

He pushed the walker of him and rolled over, getting to his knees, panting hard, clearly in shock.

"You okay?"

He nodded, but it was obvious he was far from okay.

To prove my point, he turned and leant over to cough and gag, dry retching into some bushes.

At the same time, some of the community's people walked by, heading back home. But they paused to watch their leader, their faces more unimpressed than concerned.

"He hasn't killed one before," I explained. "He's learning."

"That's not what he told us," one of them called back before they continued on.

Gregory turned to me nod at me. "Thanks for the help," he mumbled before walking off. I had a feeling the whole experience had damaged his ego…

**DPOV**

The explosions went off and everyone ran, just like Tara said they would. They ran in the opposite direction of the bombs, just like Tara said they would. They hurried out of the community through the bushes, just like Tara said they would. Two of them stayed behind, hurrying for the guns… just like Tara said they would.

Michonne- who was up in a tree where she could see everything- shot at the ground, stopping the two women from getting to their guns.

Aaron, Eric, Jesus and I came out then, weapons aimed at them.

"On the ground. Now," I ordered. "Those hands. Put them on your head."

One of the women did it straight away, while the other looked to each other, contemplating her choices. Her eyes landed on Jesus.

"Please," he told her.

With a sigh, she got down.

Aaron moved to the one who was down first, Jesus to the other. Eric kept watch, making sure no one else was still around. I moved into a spot where I was sure Michonne could see me, pulling a rag out of my back pocket to wave in the air as a signal.

So far everything was working like we wanted it to.

**CPOV**

More explosions went off as the women and children for the community emerged from the bushes. Tobin, Gabriel, Enid, Francine and myself held our guns up, aiming them at the women. They all came to a sudden stop.

"Everybody down!" Francine called.

"Hands on your heads," Tobin ordered.

"Everybody stay calm," I started as they all did as we said. "We don't want anyone to get hurt. Stay down and listen to what we say."

"We want this to go as simply and as peacefully as possible," Gabriel added. "All of you can make it that way."

"Get down over there. Keep quiet," Daryl grunted as he and the others walked over to us, two unknown women with them.

Dad was right behind them, looking to the people. "Now, we made a lot of noise. We want to wrap this up quick so you can send people to redirect anything coming this way. Tara said your forests are relatively clear, so we won't take any chances," he explained. " _No one_ needs to get hurt. This is just about what you have, what we need."

"Nobody's taking anything," a woman exclaimed as she and two other people came out from the bushes. One of the other women had a gun to her head… it was Tara. "You need to let everyone go and leave right now. Just walk away or this one dies," she threatened.

"Yeah, we'll leave you alone." Dad nodded, being cautious but not backing down. "But we're taking your weapons with us. That's not gonna change. It's Natania, right? Put the gun down, and let's talk about what we can change."

Natania wasn't backing down either. "No. Leave right now."

"Michonne, don't!" Tara called out, knowing Michonne would take the shot and kill Natania if she found an opening.

"We just wanna be left alone," Natania explained, annoyed, angry, and ready to do whatever it takes to protect her people.

"Yeah, we'll leave you alone," dad assured her. "Just let go of her. Now. Or, we'll kill you. None of us want that."

"They want us to fight The Saviours," the third woman with Natania and Tara told the rest of her people.

They all looked surprised… and hopeful. It was like they wanted to as well.

"We tried that." Natania wasn't even letting the idea settle in everyone's thoughts. "We lost. Too much. We're not gonna lose anymore. Not our guns, not our safety, not after everything we've done to get here."

"We're gonna win," Tara sounded so sure. But she had every right to, because she wasn't wrong. We were going to win. "With your guns, with or without your help."

"Natania, put the gun down," dad said simply, wanting this over already.

"You kill me, and you die. And my people take the guns and nothing changes," Tara noted, trying to convince Natania to stand down.

"Maybe we should try," one of the women suggested.

The group began to chatter amongst themselves as they agreed. It was clear they all wanted to do something. That sitting around, hiding, it wasn't enough for them. Not anymore.

"Grandma, stop," the third woman with Natania and Tara spoke up again, wanting this to end already as well. "It's over. Just talk to them, okay?"

"It's not over!" Natania exclaimed, looking to her people. "They've forgotten. You've all forgotten. Some of you actually want to fight them? After everything? We can lose our guns, but us leaving this place to fight? After everything? I have to remind you! Yes. I am gonna do this, and then I'm gonna die. But it's that important. This is your life, all of you. Remember what it looks like. Remember what they did to us! You need to see this. Open your eyes!"

"Rick! Walkers!" Michonne's voice broke through Natania's rant.

Turning to the side, we all saw the small but growing herd of walkers headed right this way. They weren't far, it would take long, but there were too many for us to all deal with right now… not without help.

The third woman hit Natania over the head, knocking her out.

Dad turned to the women on the ground. "Everybody up! Get the children behind us! They're coming."

"First shift, join them on the line. Knives out. Dead only. Dead only!" one of the women called as dad moved over to cut the binds Daryl's group had tied around her- and her friend's- wrists.

"Don't go anywhere," dad told her as the rest of us got into place. "Everyone, shots within 10 feet of the line. That's it."

Those of us with guns- or a crossbow- stood in front of everyone else, leaving enough space for those with knives to step up and take action if any walkers got close.

"Now!" dad called.

Working as a team, all of us, we shot down the walkers as the others stepped forward to stab the stray ones. It didn't take too long, but with everyone focused and working, we managed to take down the whole herd within a few minutes.

It's not like it was hard, especially with all the help, but it also served a purpose. It proved that we could all work together, to fight a common enemy. It was unexpected and unplanned, and exactly what we needed.

Turning to the women, now that the walkers were dead, we could see more and more of them contemplating the idea of join us and our fight…

One of them handed dad his knife back. He nodded, taking it, before offering his hand, which she took and shook.

"No." Natania- who was up and awake again- shook her head as she started back for her community. "We're not fighting them with you. So take your damn guns and go."

**NPOV**

I unlocked the door and opened it wide, looking into the small cell. Sasha stood there, against the wall, right by Davey's undead dead body. Stepping inside, I let a slow grin form on my lips as I looked from the body, to her.

"You win."

"No." I lifted Lucille, pointing her at Sasha, grin still in place. " _You_ win."

She'd made her choice. She chose to live. To live here. It was going to take some getting used to, but I could tell she was going to be one hell of an asset.

I turned to the guard outside. "Get some people in here. Clean this up."

With a nod, he walked off without a word.

Stepping further into the room, I pressed the end of Lucille on Davey's chest as I reached down to pull the knife from his skull. Turning back, I watched as Sasha shifted, trying not to look at me or the knife. Trying too hard not to look at the knife.

My grin grew. "What? You didn't actually think I was gonna let you keep this, did you? You still got a ways to go before I'll believe you're fully on board here. Baby steps. It is absolutely not personal. If the situation was reversed, I'm sure you wouldn't believe me, either. Still the way you saved yourself, the way you surrendered to me just now. That is a damn good start.

"But we got to work on some things, Sasha. But I promise you, I will try to make it fun. Cards on the table a little birdie told me that Rick and the rest of your people are up to no good," I noted, causing her to look away. "And, well, that needs to change, and you're gonna help me change it. We're gonna find us a win-win."

"How?" She turned to look up at me then, her voice breaking a little. "What are you-"

"Hey," I cut her off, changing the subject, "I'm gonna get you some stuff to make you more comfortable, let you have a taste of what it is we have to offer. I'm gonna let Victoria come down here, let you two spend some time together. Spend the night enjoying it, 'cause tomorrow… is gonna be a _big_ day!" I chuckled, staring for the door.

**RPOV**

Bells rang in the distance, outside the walls. It was the Oceanside people's way to redirect the walkers, turn them away from their community. Inside the walls, my people were gathering all the guns, carrying them to our vehicles which were now parked by the gates.

In front of us were the women and children still in the community, watching us. Watching us take all their guns…

As I walked by, Gabriel leaned forward. "We don't need all this, do we?" he asked.

I sighed, understanding the guilt in his voice. "Yeah. Yeah, we do.

"We're gonna bring them back when it's all over," Tara assured Cyndie- Natania's granddaughter- and the rest of the community.

Cyndie stepped up to her. "I-I want to go with you. Some of us do, but not all of us, and it has to be all of us. My grandmother thinks you'll all be dead."

"Yeah, well, your grandmother's wrong about a lot of things," Tara countered. "Where is she?"

"She didn't want to see this. She's lying down. I hit her pretty hard."

Tara simply nodded. "Thanks for saving my life before. And the other time. Oh, and then the other time." She chuckled lightly. "Maybe today. Thanks." She started to leave then.

"Hey," Cyndie stopped her. "Thank you. For what you're doing."

Without a word, Tara continued to walk, catching up to me as I headed towards the RV where the rest of our people were waiting or heading.

"You're not leaving us any?" one of the girls asked.

"Nope," Tara called back. "See ya later, Rachel." She turned, flipping the girl the bird.

As she kept walking, I looked over to her, knowing how hard this was for her today. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "You're right. I don't have to feel bad." Picking up the pace, she walked ahead then, moving to the van.

Close to the RV now, I gave Michonne a small smile as she fell into step with me, her hand sliding into mine… until we spotted Daryl on his bike. He wasn't watching us or anything, but I still felt guilty. I felt bad that I still had Michonne, that we still had together, all the while Daryl and Vickie had been run through hell.

Ever since meeting Negan they could barely hold onto each other.

**  
**

**Chapter 31**

**No 'Us'**

**RPOV**

Michonne rolled the RV to a stop as we waited for the gates to open. When they did, I was surprised and relived to see Rosita. She stepped to the side so we could drive in. As we parked the RV, van and Daryl's bike she closed the gates again before coming over, waiting for us.

Enid hurried over, still with us. She was clearly concerned by the look on Rosita's face. "Hey, are you okay?"

Jesus was right behind her. "Where's Sasha?"

Instead of answering, Rosita looked to me. "There's someone here." She turned on her heels and walked down the road, leading us towards the brownstones.

**DPOV**

I waited back, letting a few of the others to walk into the building before I followed them. I heard the cell door creaking as Rosita unlocked and opened it. Stepping up, I stood before the others, looking passed them and into the room. Inside I saw the last person I ever wanted to see.

Dwight stood as we all looked at him.

I snapped.

Pushing passed everyone, shoving them out of the way, feeling my heart thud and race in anger and with adrenaline, I let out a disgruntled grunt, lunging at the asshole.

Rick was right there, managing to hold me back and stop me moments before I could reach Dwight. Moments before I could kill him.

"Whoa. Whoa." Rick continued to hold me back, now with the help of Sasha, will I kept fighting to get to Dwight. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down. Come on. Whoa!"

Unable to get passed, I pulled back, eyes still on Dwight. Breathing heavily, I shifted on the spot, still itching to get my hands on him.

"He says he wants to help us," Rosita explained.

Rick took a moment, making sure I wouldn't move, before he slowly turned to Dwight. "That true? You want to help?"

Dwight gave a short nod. "I do."

"Okay." Reaching for the holster on his belt, Rick pulled out his gun, aiming it as Dwight. "Get on your knees."

Doing as Rick said, Dwight got to the ground, on one knee. When he looked up again, his eyes landed on me, staying there, watching, waiting. He knew it wouldn't take much for me to snap again.

"Look at _me_ ," Rick told him. Dwight tore his eyes away and looked up at Rick. "Why?" he asked, gun still aimed at Dwight's head.

"'Cause I want it stopped. I want Negan dead."

Rick shrugged. "So why don't you kill him?"

"Can't just be me. They're all Negan."

"That girl you murdered," Tara stepped up, moving to lean in front of Dwight, "she had a name. Her name was Denise, and she was a doctor. And she helped people."

"I wasn't aiming for her."

That was it.

Pushing past Rick and Tara, I grabbed Dwight and pulled him up, slamming him against the wall as I pulled my knife out from the pack of my belt, bringing it up so the tip of the blade was barely an inch from his eyes as I breathed heavily, nostrils flaring, barely holding myself back.

"Do it," Tara told me, standing back. "Do it!"

"You wanna end it this way, you go ahead." Dwight looked me in the eyes as he spoke. "I'm sorry. I am. I know you want to."

"He could just be here to see if you were here," Rick noted.

"We can't trust him," Michonne added.

"He owned me." Dwight went on, ignoring them. "But not anymore. What I did, I was doing, it for someone else. She just got away. So now I'm here. So are you, because of her."

"Do it!" Tara called.

"There's another choice."

"Daryl. Daryl, you knew her."

"Negan trusts me."

My breathing got heavier as I shifted, pressing my arm against his throat harder. I wanted nothing more than to push my knife right into his skull. Kill him, right then and there.

Seeing me getting more worked up, he kept talking. "We work together, we can stop him. You knew me then, and you know me now. You know I'm not lying. I'm not."

"Do it. Do it!" Tara yelled.

Dwight tried one final time. "I can get you your girl back."

Vic.

It all came down to her. It was selfish, I knew that, but without her... without her I couldn't think straight. Could barely hold on. Can't tell what's right and wrong. Don't even care. If he was telling the truth, if he could get her back…

Taking a deep and ragged breath, I lowered the knife.

Rick came over to stand beside us, watching, waiting for me to make my mind up completely as I continued to hold Dwight there. Like I said, I couldn't think straight, and as much as I knew he could help with Vic, I also really wanted to kill him.

"They have Sasha," Rosita spoke up from the back corner. "If she's even alive."

"Why didn't you say something?" Jesus asked. "He could be our only chance to get her back."

"Because I don't trust him," she explained. "But I trust Daryl."

As I let Dwight go, stepping back, he looked to Rick again. "Negan's coming soon. Tomorrow. Three trucks probably. Twenty Saviours and him. I can slow them down, bring some trees down in the road, buy a little time for you guys to get ready. If you can take them out, that's where we start. You kill them, I'll radio back to the Sanctuary-"

Rick cut him off, "The Sanctuary?"

"Where Negan lives," Dwight explained. "That's what they call it. I can radio back to them and say everything's okay. You drive the trucks back, and I can lead you right inside, and, with the right plan, we can wipe out the rest. Check to see if your friend's still alive." He looked from Rick to me. "Grab Victoria."

I shifted on the spot at the mention of her yet again. As much as I didn't trust Dwight, the idea of getting her back was pushing me forward with this. We couldn't leave her in there much longer. Who knows what they're doing to her…

Dwight went on, "Then, we get the workers on our side, build our numbers up, and go from outpost to outpost and end this."

Sharing a quick glance with me, I could see in Rick's eyes that he was thinking pretty closely to what I was as well. But it wasn't just about Vic for him. It was about everything. This was it. If we went along with Dwight, there'd be no stopping after that.

Taking a deep breath, Rick turned back to him. "Keep talking."

**VPOV**

My guard stood a few feet down the hall, keeping watch while also giving me some space. I was pretty sure Negan wouldn't like how much space I was actually getting, but after spending so many days with me, the guards had actually softened a little. That meant I was able to make them do what I want- to a point.

Unlocking the door in front of me, I took a deep breath before opening it and looking in. Sasha sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, looking up at me.

Her jaw was tense, her hands balled up into fists. It was clear she'd been expecting someone else. But the moment she realised it was me, she relaxed, her angered eyes turning sad and surprised.

"Vickie…"

Offering a small smile, I stepped inside. "Hey… mind if I join you?"

Not saying a word, she shifted over so I could sit down next to her. I didn't speak as I got to the ground, adjusting my dress so I wouldn't have to sit on the cold concrete floor. We both waited until I stopped moving before either of us broke the silence.

"I didn't know you were here…"

I kept my voice low as I explained everything to her. "After we all split up the Saviours came to Alexandria looking for Daryl. They didn't find him, so they took me instead."

"You've been here since then?" she asked, watching me carefully, and no doubt with pity and worry in her eyes.

All I could do was nod, my eyes falling to the ground.

"What have they done to you?"

"Nothing."

"Vickie," she sighed. "I can see the cut on your forehead. I can see how uncomfortable you feel. And let's not pretend you aren't wearing some fancy black dress."

It wasn't really fancy, but considering we were in the middle of the apocalypse it wasn't exactly practical. It fell a few inches above the knee, with a lace trimming at the bottom. It hugged my waist, and had a high neckline which was also lace. It was pretty… and quite clearly a statement of something.

"David attacked me. Dwight find us and stopped him before he could do much more than this." I lifted a hand to gesture at the cut on my head. "But everything else has been… fine. They gave me a room, guards, food, clothes. I'm not a prisoner. At least not like Daryl was."

There was a tension in the air, growing with every word I said, and every word I avoided. She could sense something else was up, and I deeply and desperately didn't want to admit to a number of things. But Sasha... she could be stubborn.

Shifting on the spot, she moved so she could face me completely. "Vickie, what did they do to you?"

A single tear rolled down my cheek. "I'm a horrible person, Sasha."

"Hey, no." Shaking her head, she reached forward to rest a hand on my shoulder. "No, you're not. Whatever they've done, whatever they've made you do, it's not your fault."

"That's the thing," I gave a bitter laugh, "they haven't made me do anything. I did it all myself. I thought I was never going to see my family or friends again. I gave up. I didn't care. I shut down. We were fighting all the time. There was just so much tension, and he was always in my personal space. I couldn't think straight. I just… I felt so guilty about everything. About Abraham and Glenn. It was all too much, and I just… let go."

Her hand had slid away at the mention of her deceased partner, but she'd listened to every word. I wasn't she if she knew what I wasn't saying, what I was trying to tell her without saying the words. If she did know, she was doing a great job at playing dumb.

If I were to hold it in. If I were to sit here, say all of this, and not admit to the real truth… then I'd never be able to live with myself. She was family. Sasha and I may not have been the closest, but we'd still been close. We'd been through a lot together as well.

We were on the council at the prison together. We got sick at the same time. We helped fight the Governor. We fought our way out of Terminus. We travelled by foot through the forest with the rest of our family. She lost Bob and Tyresse, but still stood with our family. We made it to Alexandria, and even then, with walls around us, we still worked together.

Which is exactly why I should and shouldn't tell her.

On one hand, she was family and she deserved to know the truth. On the other hand… I'd slept with the same man who had killed Abraham and Glenn.

"I'm a terrible person."

"Vickie," she waited until I looked up at her before she went on, "no matter what you've done, it doesn't make you a bad person. You've been through a lot, and I'm not just talking about the Saviours. You've been trying to hold everything together for a while. You try to be strong, for everyone, but you can only do that for so long."

"That's not an excuse."

"Yeah, it is," she argued. "After what you've been through, no one can blame you for giving up. You don't have to tell me what you did, that doesn't matter. What matters is that you realise you screwed up."

Was she right?

Sleeping with Negan. Having sex with Negan. Letting him get to me like that. Could that all be excused? Could I really be forgiven, by my friends and family, for something so horrible? Would Sasha be saying all of this is she knew the truth?

"I'm sorry."

Sighing, she reached over to hug me. "I know."

**DPOV**

I stood away from the gates, with Rick, watching as Dwight got in his car and drove off.

"We just started it. The whole thing," Rick noted as we watched the vehicle drive out of the gates.

"If he's lyin', I'm gonna kill him real slow." It was a promise. "When this is done, I don't give a damn if he's sorry. I will kill that son of a bitch."

"If he's lying, this is already over," he countered as he turned to leave.

I called out, stopping him. "If he's lying, she's dead."

Turning, I looked to Rick with his back still to me, Michonne and Jesus a few steps away. They were all tense. They knew what I was saying, who I was talking about.

"If he's lying, if he came here to see if we had a plan, Negan is gonna kill her. He's gonna use her to put you back in line. And if he does that, I don't care who gets in my way, I'm gonna kill all of 'em."

I stalked off then, heading back to the house, needing to see Aly. She was the only thing keep me calm, keeping me sane. Right now, I needed that.

**VPOV**

After the talk with Sasha last night, I tried to stay strong. I was dead set on doing right by her and the rest of my family. Seeing Sasha, it made me realise that I'd been a fool, an idiot, a selfish coward. Letting Negan in had been the biggest mistake of my life.

So, I had decided to keep a distance between us. No more meal times. No more sleeping in the same bad. No more sex. No more anything. From now on, he was my captor and I was his prisoner. That was the extent of our relationship.

When Negan knocked on my door, I didn't get up to answer it. When he entered my room, I didn't look up from the magazine I was flicking through. When he came over to set a tray of food on the coffee table, I didn't give him or it a single glance.

He sighed, sensing my mood. "What have I done now?"

"Nothing." I shrugged.

"Then why are you pissed?"

"I'm not." It was the truth.

"Bullshit." Walking around the table, he stalked over to me and snatched the magazine away. When I glared up at him, he spoke one more, "What happened? You're clearly upset about something. So what fucking happened?"

Pushing off the couch, I stood, still glaring at him. "Nothing." Turning on my heels, I started for the kitchen.

"Has this got something to do with Sasha? Did she say something to you?" He followed me. "Don't tell me you told her about us and she got pissed so now you're feeling guilty."

"There is no 'us', Negan," I grumbled, grabbing a cup out of the cupboard to get a drink of water.

I heard his feet storming over, loud, heavy and angered. Then I felt him, standing behind me, barely an inch between us.

"There's no us? So, we didn't fuck? You didn't give me the best fucking night I've had in years?" He leaned in, his breath fanning over my shoulder. "You make me want to pull my fucking hair out and scream at the top of my fucking lungs sometimes. But you also make me feel so fucking good. There is so much between us, you can't ignore it. The way we talk, the way we fight, the way we fuck. Don't tell me there is no 'us'."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but there isn't. It just took me a moment to realise the truth. I'm nothing more than a play thing to you. And your nothing more than the man who ruined my life," I spat, back still to him.

"Is that so?"

He pushed himself forward, pressing the bottom half of himself against my back. I could feel him, hard and full. His hands grabbed my waist, his breath on my neck now. The heat of his body tried to seep in, to sneak passed my walls… but I was done playing these games.

Dropping my cup into the sink, I shoved him back and spun on my heels to glare at him. "Don't touch me," I warned, voice low and dangerous.

Ignoring me, he stopped closer again. I lifted my hands to push him away, but he just moved closer, until there was just a breath of air between us.

His eyes were dark as they looked down at me. "I thought you were done fighting this?"

"That was me giving up."

"That was you giving in. You're an animal, Victoria. You cage yourself up. You try to be this person you're not. But I know the truth. I've seen it. I've felt it."

"You know nothing."

"You crave power, you like the feeling of taking someone's life, you like to let yourself loose. Fucking me was the wildest thing you've ever done, because your hatred runs so deep. You want me dead, but you want me between those legs of yours just as much."

Reaching up, I slapped him across the face.

His head turned, a look of surprise crossing his features before they turned dark again. When he looked down at me once more, I felt my anger bubble again, causing me to lift my hand for another slap.

He caught my wrist effortlessly.

"Let me go."

"No."

"Negan, let me go."

"No." He stepped even closer, the breath of air between us no longer there.

"I thought you don't rape women," I reminded him.

"If I thought, for one second, you didn't want this, I would back off."

"Me slapping you isn't a clear enough sign for you?" I glared. "I don't want you here, Negan. Get out."

Eyes hard and dark, staring down at me, seeing my resolve staying intact, he glared. "Fine. I'll go. But we have a deal, Victoria." His eyes stayed locked onto mine. "Kiss me."

Much like when we were in the bathroom, I was shocked at the order. But much like then as well, I pushed through my shock and just got it over and down with.

Glaring back at him, I hesitated for the briefest of moments before pushing forward and up on my toes before pressing my lips to his in a kiss I intended to by quick, simple and flat. Of course, Negan wasn't going to let me off that easily.

He reached up to cup my cheek, holding me there, against his lips and he deepened the kiss. His mouth opened, moving against mine in the way he hoped would break down my walls. Breathing me in, touching me so softly and gently while also staking his claim… I couldn't stop my resolve from slipping.

I didn't pull back. Not even when his lips trailed away from mine, moving to my jaw, down to my neck. His hands grabbed my waist, pulling me against him, and I just let him. I melted. Arching my back, tilting my head… giving him control.

He continued his delicious assault on me. He knew exactly how to make me crumble, how to appease the side of me that wanted him despite my better judgment. He knew how to talk to that part of me, how to coax it out.

When it was right there, when he was sure I was at the edge fighting myself internally to hold back while I let go at the same time, he stopped.

Pulling back then, he looked down at me, grinning. "Goodnight, Sweetheart." With that, he turned on his heels and walked straight out of my room.

I stood there, I don't know how long, feeling more and more horrible with each passing second. I'd been so determined to fight myself, to stay strong, and then I'd let all that fade away with one simple kiss.

Sasha was wrong. I was a horrible person.

**  
**

**Chapter 32**

**Forty-One**

**NPOV**

The door slowly opened. Sasha sat on the ground staring straight ahead. I grinned, leaning against the door frame, holding a tray of covered food in my hand.

"Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, Sasha." Stepping in, I moved to place the tray in front of her. "You are gonna help make sure things get back on track today. You are smart, hot as hell, dignified as shit, and you don't suffer one goddamn fool. No one's gonna wanna watch you die. _I_ don't wanna see that. So you don't have to.

"But someone does. Maybe a couple others… tops. But not you and not most people. We are gonna help solve some shit. Tuck in. Big day." Reaching down, I uncovered the food, revealing a fruit salad and some pancakes, the one on top covered with a blueberry smiley face.

Looking down at the food, she asked, "What do you need from me?"

**VPOV**

I was sitting on the steps, looking out at the walkers, deep in thought. A coffee rested between my palms as my hands clutched at the clay mug, letting its warmth seep into me in an effort to comfort myself.

All day, after my chat with Negan… I found my mind wandering.

When did I become this person? Had the end of the world stripped away every part of the person I used to be? If the Victoria from before met the Victoria of today, she wouldn't recognise herself. She would be scared of me. Disappointed even.

A lot of it was due to the fact the world had ended. When the dead didn't stay dead every changed. But the dark parts of me… the animal parts, the killer in me, that came from everything else.

All the times I was separated from my family. All the horrors we witnessed. All the panic and trauma. Every time I was attacked. Every time I was assaulted. Every time I was kidnapped. Every time I lost someone I loved. Every time I killed someone.

_Heath sighed. "We're gonna kill those people. Tonight." He shook his head. "Look, I've been lucky. I haven't had to do it before. Have you?"_

_I didn't look up from where I was still crouching. I just kept my eyes on the dead walker as Glenn answered the question._

_"I've been lucky, too."_

_"You nervous?" Heath clearly was. I didn't blame him of course._

_It took a moment before Glenn spoke, "Have you ever seen something that, um... afterwards, you... You didn't want to sleep and you weren't hungry because when you close your eyes, you could see it? And when you try to eat-"_

_Heath cut him off, "Yeah."_

_"Me, too." Glenn went on, "Killing somebody has gotta be worse than that. It has to be. So, yeah, I'm nervous. For the whole thing, man." He sighed, "For the whole thing."_

_"I've killed people." I didn't have to look up to know they were both staring down at me. Glenn knew. Most of our group had killed people. But Glenn didn't know all of it. Getting to my feet, I nodded. "I've killed. Men, women. I haven't kept count or anything, but I know my body count is well over twenty."_

_Heath looked to the ground, away from me. I could feel the sympathy radiating off him. He felt sorry for me. That was his choice, and- once again- I didn't blame him. But I didn't need him to feel that way. Not for me._

_"The first person I killed was a man. He was one in a group. They'd tied me down, nearly stripped me bare, and were going to rape me. If I hadn't of fought, I would have never gotten my hands free, and I might not have made it out of there alive." I took a deep breath. "Killing changed me…"_

Really, deep down, _that's_ when it started. That first time I truly felt helpless and alone. When I finally took that last step, and killed a person for the first time.

_Getting to my feet, not wasting a moment, I turned just in time to see Glenn about to kill the other guy._

_Moving to my best friend, I grabbed his arm and stopped him. When he looked up at me, I shook my head. He seemed to understand because he stepped back and let me in closer. I knelt once more, lined my blade up once more, but this time I just pushed into the brain. I didn't look away, I didn't hold out for a single second._

_Standing again, I felt Glenn next to me, grabbing my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Looking to him, our eyes locked and a silent message crossed between us._

_He knew why I'd done it. He understood. It was because I didn't want to taint my friend. I didn't want him to have to live with the weight of killing someone. I wanted him to be able to close his eyes at night and sleep as soundlessly as possible. I wanted him to be able to eat food without wanting to throw it back up._

Forty-one people. I had the blood of forty-one people on my hands.

Since the conversation with Daryl, since admitting what I'd done with the Saviours that had taken Maggie, Carol and me… I'd added yet another life to my list. Another body. Another person. Another notch in the belt.

_"I've killed thirty-eight people. Forty, actually," I corrected myself. "I killed two men at the train tracks."_

_Daryl tossed his shirt on to the ground as he turned to me. He watched me, confused, not saying a word as he waited for me to go on._

_"I killed two of the Saviours that took us. One of them... she reminded me of me. But she was twisted. It was like she was all the terrible things I could be..." I shook my head. "I've killed forty people, Daryl." My voice broke as I looked down at my hands. "Forty lives taken by my hands."_

_"Don't."_

_I felt my eyes begin to water. "How can you love someone who's done that?" I looked away. "I'm a monster. I'm no better than this Negan guy."_

_Shaking his head, he moved closer to the bed before reaching over to lift my chin so I'd look at him. "Don't. You ain't like them. You're a good person, Vic. Nothing'll change that. You do what you do for our people. For our family." He looked deep into my eyes. "You understand? You ain't a monster."_

If only he knew just how wrong he was…

**NPOV**

"That's the plan. That's what I need from you. And when you come out, not a peep. They will stand down, if they haven't already. And then, Lucille here, well, she gets her three, and we move forward with a new understanding," I finished.

Crouching down on the ground in Sasha's cell, watching her, I waited for a response. I understood that it would be hard to swallow, but she had no real choice here. She decided to live, and this is what she was going to have to live with now.

What I hadn't expected was for her to started crying…

"Are you- Are you shitting me? Is that real?"

"I can do it, but no one has to die," she insisted, voice breaking.

"You are wrong. Punishment. Can't do anything without that. Punishment is how we built everything we have."

"You think I'm gonna sit here and let you-"

"Careful!" I cut her off harshly, stopping her from making a mistake she did not want to make. "You are not letting me do anything."

"No one has to die."

Seeing the determined look in her eyes, hearing the strength in her voice… I scoffed, offering a short nod. "Okay. How about this? One. Just one. I mean, I was gonna pull three outta the pool, but just one and just for you."

"Okay." Slowly, she nodded. "Just _one_ person has to die."

Chuckling, I got to my feet, standing over her with a sigh. "You got me wrapped around your little finger. You know that? And it's not a man-woman thing. I mean, if you had a dick, I would still have these feelings. We roll out in 45." Turning on my heels, I walked out of the room, closing the door behind me.

**MPOV**

Sitting at the desk in Gregory's office, looking over some plans I'd drawn up for Hilltop, my train of thought was pulled off track as the office door opened. Turning away from the papers, I looked over to greet whoever was coming in, only to find a pounding mound of fur hurrying my way.

I laughed lightly as Houdini licked at my face, his tail wagging happily behind him. "Hey, boy." I scratched behind his ear.

"Maggie?"

The sound of a soft and clearly sad voice had my gently push the dog away. My eyes looked to the door again, finding Aly standing there, her stuffed deer toy grasped tightly in her hand.

Nudging Houdini down, I got to my feet as Jesus stepped in after Aly, with Judith in his arms. Enid was right behind him, a bag on her back, and one in her hand. The looks on their faces had my stomach drop…

"What are you doing here?"

Just like that, Aly broke.

Her face twisted before she began to sob hard. She ran towards me, giving me just enough time to bend down and open my arms. I wrapped her into my arms and let her cry against my shoulder. Holding her tightly, stroking her hair, I tried to sooth her as best as I could, but her sobs just grew and grew.

Looking passed her shoulder, my eyes landed on Enid and Jesus once more. My voice was hard with concern as I asked, "What happened?"

**VPOV**

I stood on the back of a truck with Negan and Arat. We were silent, waiting. Negan hadn't said a word to me. No one but Gary- my guard- had. He'd simply collected me from my room and brought me here, telling me to wait on the truck with Negan while he helped everyone get ready.

Before I'd left my room though, I'd been given one order… put on a dress.

So, here I was, standing on the truck, my arms folded over my chest as I tried to find some kind of warmth in this cold wind. It's not like the short black dress that fell to just above my knees offered much. It even had short, capped sleeves, and cut-outs on the back. The black flats I was wearing were lace, so my toes were freezing…

If I wasn't so pissed and stubborn, I might have asked Negan for a jacket. But we were talking, so I was left to shiver in the cold.

The doors to the Sanctuary opened, Eugene and Sasha walking out- followed by a guard.

My face lit up at the sight of Sasha. As much as I knew I'd done some horrible and unforgivable things, and even though I was hating myself because of them, I couldn't stop from feeling a bit better at the sight of my friend.

Seeing me, Sasha smiled back at me. She climbed up onto the truck, barely having a second to stand up straight again before I threw my arms around her in a tight hug.

Her arms came around to hug me back, squeezing me a little tighter as she turned her head to whisper in my ear. "Nothing you've done is so bad you can't be forgiven. It's gonna be okay. Trust me." Pulling back, she smiled again, the corners of her eyes crinkling. "You're a good friend, Vickie. You're a good person."

As her hands fell away from me, she turned to look at the front of the truck, seeing the metal coffin that lay there, waiting.

Negan's eyes met mine for a moment. I knew he'd heard the last part of what she said. I knew he was thinking about our fight last night- so was I- but he still said nothing to me. He just turned away, addressing Sasha.

"You don't have to take the trip in the thing," he told her.

She shrugged. "I could use the rest."

"No shit?"

"Yeah. I just want to go to sleep." She looked over her shoulder at him before moving closer to the coffin. "I just need a little bottle of water, and I'm fine."

Negan sighed, turning to the Saviour behind him. "Arat?" She walked off without needing another word. As soon as she was gone, he followed Sasha. "Listen I know how tough this is. And I appreciate it."

She nodded back to him, giving a small smile once more as her eyes fell to the ground. Then, without another word, she climbed into the coffin.

Looking over his shoulder, Negan's eyes met mine again. Once more, no words were passed between us, but we didn't need them. With that one look, I could read the message he was trying to give me.

His words weren't just meant for Sasha. They were meant for me too. He knew today was going to be hard. He knew what it was going to do to me… and he did appreciate it. He appreciated the fact that I wasn't fighting, that I wasn't arguing, that I wasn't making it more difficult than it already was.

Despite the fact that we were both still very pissed with each other, there was still that understanding between us. That understanding no one quite understood. That understanding that wasn't right… but wasn't entirely wrong.

Arat came back, with the bottle of water. She handed it to Negan, who then handed it to Sasha. Once the bottle was handed over, Negan grabbed the lid of the coffin as he looked into it, his grin falling into place as he spoke to Sasha one last time.

"Damn, you are something else." With that, he closed the coffin lid.

Hearing the sound of the lid closing I knew then that there was no turning back. Today was going to happen, and it was not going to end well.

**RPOV**

The gates rolled shut as Michonne and I walked over to Jadis and her people. Most of them were scattering, spreading around the community, getting ready. We were sure when Negan and the Saviours would get here, but we were sure it wouldn't take them too long.

Jadis nodded, gesturing to the community. "What you fight for."

"Not the place. The people," I noted. "Each other." I looked to Michonne for a moment before turning back to Jadis. "You're a part of that now."

"We take. We don't bother. Our way. Maybe another way." Jadis offered a slight smile. She looked me up and down before turning to Michonne. "Yours?" She gestured to me.

Michonne paused a moment, clearly shocked by the question- so was I- but she managed to recover, offering a short nod. "Yeah, we're together."

"I lay with him after. You care?"

_What?!_

Playing it cool, Michonne simply smiled as she started to back off. "We should get back to work."

"Yeah." I nodded, backing away as well, totally caught off guard and unsure how to respond…

**MPOV**

"So we don't have Oceanside," I sighed, leaning against Gregory's desk, "but we have their guns. Negan has Sasha and Vickie." My eyes dropped to Aly as she sat with Judith and Houdini on the ground, that sad look still in her eyes. "Daryl wants us to trust Dwight," I went on. "Rick wants us to stay here in case things go wrong so there's another card to play, another safe place the Saviours think they control. But he doesn't know that Gregory's gone. That maybe he's telling them things that'll make them think something else."

Jesus nodded. "And it's all about to happen."

"You're thinking of leading the Hilltop over there to fight," Enid noted.

"I am," I admitted. "Negan finds out they're planning something, they're gonna need help, even with those Scavengers on their side."

"Well, you'd have to decide right now, and it's a very tough decision," Jesus said, the corner of his lips tilting up.

I shook my head at him. "Why are you smiling?"

"'Cause I'm glad you're the one making it for us."

Judith cooed as she played with the blocks set on the floor for her. Aly clutched her deer to her chest. Houdini lay by their sides, head on the ground, content being with the girls.

They were the future. Judith, Aly, my baby… they were what we were fighting for. But how was I supposed to know when to fight? How was I supposed to know how to fight? Who to fight? How was I supposed to know these things?

Looking away from the girls, I turned my gaze back to Jesus. "How do I?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I just know you can."

As Judith cooed again, Enid stepped forward to grab her. "Let me take her. You take this." She handed me Glenn's watch before bending down to grab Judith. Then she looked to Aly. "You coming?"

Without a word, Aly looked up to meet my eyes. That sad and broken look stared back at me. Despite not being Vickie's biological daughter, she still had that same look. I'd seen it a million times. Whenever Vickie was lost, or hurt… whenever she was losing hope, that's the look she had in her eyes.

"It's okay." I tore my eyes from Aly to Enid. "I've got her."

Nodding, Enid walked out of the room, taking a babbling Judith with her. Aly turned her attention to Houdini as she stayed on the ground, her shoulders relaxing a little now that she knew she was staying with me.

Looking down at Glenn's watch, I knew time was running out. I knew that I had a choice to make… and I had to make it soon.

**NPOV**

I stood in the middle of the road, watching as some of the Saviours worked away, trying to break down the large trees that were lying on the road in front of us.

We'd been driving along, making good time, when we came across the trees. After taking a look, it was clear they'd only recently fallen… and even then, it didn't look like they'd actually 'fallen'. It looked like they'd been chopped down and put in our way on purpose.

Simon came over to me. "Think this was them?"

"Crossed my mind," I noted. "We got a plan 'B'," I reminded him as he continued passed.

"If I might be so bold," Eugene spoke up, causing me to turn to him. "This unexpected stoppage has given me the chance for an exhaustive mull. Now, given the loaded circumstances and potential for casualties and resource expenditure, I was wondering if you would give me the opportunity to attempt to slow their jets and cool their roll."

Chuckling lightly, I nodded. "Be my guest."

Looking over his shoulder, I spotted Victoria. She was leaning against the truck she'd been riding in, kicking at the dirt, her arms folded over her chest. We had spoken since early this morning…

I had gone to her with the intention of getting some late sleep. We'd had a hectic day and I'd been too busy to join her that night. I knew she didn't sleep great on her own, so I'd hoped we could get a little shut eye before the big day started. But after what she said, and the way she looked at me…

As we'd been getting ready to leave I had Gary take her in the truck he was in. He'd been watching her quite a bit lately so there was an established relationship there. It's not like they were friends, but he wasn't a stranger either. I trusted he'd take care of her.

It's not like I didn't want her in the truck with Simon and myself. I just had a feeling she'd rather be away from me- it helped that Eugene was in Gary's truck, too.

But now that Eugene was going to be doing whatever the hell plan he had in his mind, I knew Vickie would be less relaxed and more stressed in that truck. I knew, the closer we got to her home, the worse she'd be feeling. Even though I was a huge reason why she felt so badly, I also knew I'd been a source of comfort- in a way- during her time at the Sanctuary.

Taking a deep breath, I adjusted my hold on Lucille as she rested on my shoulder, before walking passed Eugene and heading over to Vickie. She didn't look up. She just kept kicking at the ground as I came to stand in front of her.

"If I ask you to join me in my truck, are you going to say yes?"

She shrugged, still not looking up at me. "Are you asking, or telling?"

I could read between the lines. I knew what she was saying. If I was telling her to join me she didn't have a choice. Our deal stated she had to do whatever I told her to. But as fun as that could be at times, in this situation I could see how uncomfortable she really felt, and I didn't want to have to make that worse until it was absolutely necessary.

"I'm asking," I answered.

Slowly, she looked up from the ground, meeting my gaze then. Without a word, she gave slight nod. In that moment, I could see how hard this was for her. I could see how much she was struggling to keep herself together.

I enjoyed putting people through pain. But I hated putting her through all of this. There was just something about her. Something that pressed my buttons. Something that got on my nerves. Something that made me feel a little more than I had for years now.

She pushed off the truck, her eyes staying locked onto mine for a moment longer before they fell to the ground once more as she started for my truck.

**  
**

**Chapter 33**

**Forty-Two**

**DPOV**

The sound of the Scavenger people making bird noises was our signal. The Saviours were coming.

We had the gate closed, all of us behind them, armed and ready. Outside the gates was a truck Rosita, Aaron and I had set up with the explosives Rick and the others found on a bridge after they left the Kingdom. Rick and a few others- including Carl- were up on the lookout stands, but he was the only one visible- the rest were ducked down, and hiding.

It was only a matter of time now.

"Rosita." Rick turned to her, as she stood on the other side of the car I was by. "Get into position. I'll signal you. And the wall's gonna hold?"

She nodded. "It'll hold."

The rumble of approaching vehicles had us all look to the gate. Through it, we could see a truck leading more vehicles, while Eugene stood on its back, a megaphone in hand as he called out to us.

"All points are covered. Every contingency is already met. I come armed with two barrels of the truth. A test is upon you, and I'm giving out the cheat sheet."

The trucks came to a stop, the first one turning so its side face the gates.

Eugene shifted and looked up at Rick, lifting the megaphone to his mouth again. "H-Hello. I come salved with the hope that it is my dropped knowledge that you heed. Options are zero to none. Compliance and fealty are your only escape. Bottom-lining it… you may thrive, or you may die. I sincerely wish for the former for everyone's sake. The jig is up and in full effect. Will you comply, Rick?"

"Where's Negan?" Rick answered with his own questions.

Sighing, not wanting that response, Eugene spoke once more, this tie without the megaphone. "I'm Negan."

I looked to all the trucks, trying to see any sight of Dwight, Negan or maybe even Vic. I was hoping they left her behind. Negan would be a fool to bring her here. He should know we'd fight for her. Luckily, I couldn't see her. I couldn't see anyone through the dark windows.

Rick still stood on the lookout, his face falling as he realised what Eugene's words meant. There was no negotiating. No talking. No nothing. We were going to have to go through with the plan… which meant blowing Eugene up with everyone else.

Sighing, Rick looked down, his eyes meeting Rosita's for a moment before he gave a short nod. Then, he dropped to the ground quickly, the rest of us taking cover as we waited for her to press the button that would make the explosives go off.

But nothing happened…

There was a second of confusion, then disbelief, then anger. We'd been betrayed. We'd been double crossed. We'd been screwed over… and we were surrounded.

As we tried to lift our guns to turn on the Scavengers, they all turned on us. Their guns cocked and ready, they aimed at each and every one of us as we listened to the sound of a vehicle door opening, followed by a sigh.

Tearing my glare from the Scavenger that had their gun aimed at me, I looked out the gates and felt my blood run cold.

Negan slipped out of the second truck… followed by Victoria.

**VPOV**

The gate to my home was pulled open, revealing my friends and family on the other side. I swallowed hard as I shifted on my seat, looking at their faces. Rosita. Gabriel. Tobin. Tara. Daryl. I knew there were others, but the moment I saw him, everything froze.

My guilt, my sorrow, my anger, my confusion, everything that had been piling up and up, smothering me since that night we were all made to kneel… all it closed in around my chest, crushing my heart.

A sigh caught my attention.

Looking away from my husband, I turned to Negan as he stood outside of the truck now. Once my eyes landed on him, and his grin, he offered me a hand.

I took it. Partially due to being on autopilot now, the shock of the situation taking over. But I also did it because I had no real choice. In the end, no matter what I did, I would end up out of the truck and by Negan's side.

He helped me down, carefully and gently. He got me to the ground, on my feet and waited a moment until I was steady, before he let me go. Then he turned and started for the truck Eugene was standing on.

At first, I was unsure. What do I do now? Do I just stand there? Do I follow? Do I wait? What do I do? But my questions were answered when I felt a hand press on the small of my back lightly.

"Come on, darlin'." Simon was gentle as he led me towards the truck.

I wasn't surprised by my willingness to go. I didn't fight. I didn't struggle. I didn't protest. I didn't complain. I didn't hesitate. I didn't do anything. I just did as he said, step by step, my eyes on the ground, both watching where I was going and avoiding the gazes of my loved ones who were no doubt watching me.

When we got to the truck, Simon stopped and offered me his hand. I took it, much like I had with Negan's, and let him help me up onto the high step onto the truck. Negan was right there, also offering a hand, helping me up.

Now standing on the back of the truck, Negan pulled me closer carefully as he looked to my family, his grin getting smugger with each passing second.

"You ever hear the one about the stupid little prick named Rick who thought he knew shit but didn't know shit and got everyone he that gave a shit about killed? It's about you," he called out to my friends and family. "You're all gonna wanna put your guns down now."

"No one drops anything," dad told everyone before turning to the person who held a gun to his head. "We had a deal."

The woman shrugged. "Tamiel came for the boat things. Followed ones who took. Made a better deal."

"You push me, and you push me. And you push me, Rick. You just tried to blow us up, right? I mean, I get me, my people. But Eugene? He's one of yours. And after what he did… he stepped up. You people are animals." Negan paused before turning to me, brushing some hair behind my shoulder. "Let's not forget about Victoria. Your daughter." He grinned, looking to my dad again.

Leaning in closer, Negan pressed a gentle kiss on my temple, his hand falling down my arm so lightly it felt like a feather brushing against my skin.

I tensed, my eyes locked onto dad's as he watched. He looked so lost, so enraged, so broken.

Pulling away, still grinning, Negan went on, "Universe gives you a sign, and you just shove your finger right up its ass." He laughed. "Dwight, Simon, chop-chop."

Dwight and Simon jumped up onto the truck, grabbing the coffin that was tied down, getting it onto position. Negan waited until it was standing upright, and the two men had stepped down, behind he left my side and moved to the coffin.

"So, you don't like Eugene anymore. You guys gotta like Sasha. I do, too." He lifted Lucille, tapping her on the metal coffin. "Got her right here packaged for your convenience, alive and well."

More faces popped up slowly then. Eric. Aaron. Francine. Carl. They were on the lockout, having been hiding. But hearing that Sasha was here, hearing the clang of Lucille tap on the coffin, had them standing to take a look.

Negan kept going, "Now, I brought her so I wouldn't have to kill all of you, and not killing all of you could get complicated. See, I know there's a lot of firepower left in there, Rick. So I'm gonna make this simple. I want all the guns you've managed to scrape up. Yep, I know about those, too. I want every last grain of lemonade you got left. I want a person of _your own choosing_ for Lucille." He gestured to the bat. "Daryl."

Hearing my husband's name, I jumped. My stomach dropped, my heart stopped and my mind went crazy. I thought of a million scenarios that might follow. I thought of a million ways Negan could torture him… and torture me. Panic settled in the pit of my stomach as I waited, watched, and listened…

"I see you," Negan chuckled. "Don't worry. I don't need you anymore. Vickie here has been a real team player. Settled in back at home as if she's been there forever."

My eyes darted over to Daryl. He stood there, breathing heavily, his body tense, his fists curled as his eyes stayed in a glare directed and focused on Negan.

_If looks could kill…_

Negan turned back to dad. "And the pool table, and _all_ the pool cues and chalk. And I want it now!" He exclaimed. "Or Sasha dies, and then all of you." He shrugged. "Probably. C'mon, Rick. Just because I brought her in a casket doesn't mean she has to leave in it." When dad stayed silent, Negan sighed. "You know what? You suck ass, Rick. You really do. I don't want to have to kill her, but that's exactly what you're gonna make me do."

Dad stepped forward, finally speaking up, "Let me see her."

Negan chuckled, "Oh. All right. Just give me a second. I might have to get her up to speed. You can't hear shit inside this thing." He lifted Lucille to knock on the coffin again. "Sash. You're not gonna believe this crap."

As he opened the coffin lid, all Hell broke loose.

Sasha came out, snarling and snapping, her discoloured skin and ghostly eyes screaming at me.

"Holy goddamn!" Negan yelled out as the walker that was once Sasha reached out for him, teeth snapping. He fell back and off the truck, landing on the ground, with Sasha falling on top of him.

Everyone moved then.

My people took the chance while everyone was shocked and distracted. Carl moved first, pulling the gun out of the holster on his belt, before he shot at the people aiming at him. That's all it took before war began.

I ducked down, pressing myself to the truck, eyes searching wildly for an escape.

"Vickie!"

At the sound of someone calling my name, I looked to my left, seeing Dwight there, offering me his hand. Not having the time to waste, or any other options, I took his hand and let him help me off the truck before I could get hit by the crossfire.

Keeping us behind the cover of the truck, he pressed me against the metal, shielding me protectively. "Stay low. Get to your family. Don't stop." Reaching for his belt, he pulled out a knife. "Here." He grabbed my hand and pressed the knife into my grasp. "If anyone, _anyone_ , tries to stop you, kill them."

I took it, looking down at the blade before meeting his eyes, confused. "You're helping me?"

"Tell Daryl I didn't know. Okay? Tell him I didn't know." He pushed me then, shoving me around the truck. "Go!"

Doing as he said, I made a break for it. I ran as fast as I could, getting the hell out of there. I stayed low, ducking even more at the sound of so much gunfire. But I didn't stop. I manoeuvred around the vehicles and avoided people, my eyes set on the gates ahead.

"Hey!"

A hand grabbed a fist full of my hair, pulling my back and tossing me in the opposite direction of the gates.

I landed on my back, the wind knocked out of me. My hand scrapped against a rock, cutting into it, my grip dropping the knife in the process.

I looked up, seeing the enraged man looming over me, pulling out his own knife before he descended to his knees until they straddled me. I looked up at him, feeling my chances slip away. He was armed, I wasn't. I had this stupid dress on, he was bigger than me, and I was lying on my back in the dirt. But that didn't mean I had no chance at all.

Forty-one people. I had the blood of forty-one people on my hands.

Feeling around with my fingers, carefully, gently, slowly, so he didn't notice what I was doing, I stared up at the man, watching, waiting, staying silent as if I was challenging him.

I had no idea what his intentions were. I had no idea if he was going to kill me. I had no idea if he was just going to teach me a lesson for trying to run. All I knew was that I was in danger, my people were in danger, and my time was running out. If I wanted to escape, if I wanted to help, if I wanted to be with my family again, I had to act, and I had to act fast.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, but were they even desperate anymore. Taking a life was second nature to me. As easy as breathing.

When my fingers wrapped around the hilt of the knife, everything moved so swiftly and smoothly it was like a dance I'd perfected long ago.

Lifting the knife, adjusting my grip, pulling myself up, my face staying straight while my eyes grew hard, the blade slid into the man's neck like butter. Through his throat, right up into his head, on an angle that was easy in my position, but was also messy.

The look of surprise in his eyes barely lasted a second before they were dead. He was dead.

Forty-two people. I had the blood of forty-two people on my hands.

Jerking the knife out, I didn't even flinch at his blood as it pooled on top of me. I'd hit an artery. Now I was covered in blood... and it didn't even bother me.

With a sigh, I shoved his body aside and got to my feet, getting ready to make another break for it. That little interruption hadn't lasted longer than a minute, but it had felt like a lifetime... in situations like this, a minute _was_ a lifetime.

**RPOV**

As everything else fell apart round me, I was left up on the lookout stand, staring at Jadis as she continued to aim her gun at me.

"Down. Now,' she ordered.

"We can make another deal," I offered.

Instead of listening, she lowered the gun from my face, aimed at my hip, and pulled the trigger.

"Aah!" I fell to my knees, crying out in pain.

Then, she kicked out at me, pushing me to the ground. "Said 'down'."

**VPOV**

It had all happened so fast. I'd honestly thought he'd be dead. But _just_ as I'd made it through the gates of my home, I felt someone else grab me. This time, I went to turn to fight them. I was ready to stab, kill and move on. I just wanted to see my family. But as I turned, I froze.

Negan had grabbed me.

Things had quickly gotten worse after that.

He was pissed. Understandably. But it's not like he should have expected things to go as smoothly as he'd wanted. It's not like he should have expected everyone to roll over and do as he said, forever. Someone was bound to come along and fight him. It's not like we hadn't given plenty of warning.

I knew I was safe. Physically. Don't ask me how, I just knew. Negan would never lay a hand on me. He would never kill me. He wouldn't even get one of his men to do it. I knew it, he knew. But just because I was physically safe, didn't mean I was entirely safe.

We stood in the open lot beside my home. At first, I'd been unable to look away from it. My heart swelled and broke as I remembered my home, my house, the place I'd lived in with friends and family since we stepped foot in Alexandria. I hadn't realised just how much I'd missed those four walls and roof until that moment.

That moment had been cut short pretty quickly, though. It had ended the second I saw who Negan had kneeling in the lot beside the house… Carl.

So, what happens when the psycho you've slept with is left with the choice of killing you- which he just could not do- or break your deal and kill your brother? I'll give you one chance to take a guess and figure out what his next move was.

We were waiting. Negan had me standing next to him, Simon on his other side, Dwight behind us just in case I tried to run. Carl was kneeling in front of the group of Saviours that were gathered, as the rest of the town fell apart.

Gunfire, screams, shouts and cried filled the space, but all of it fell silent as I heard a voice nearing us.

"Move."

I looked to the road, seeing dad limping along as the woman who he had been standing with before pressed a gun to his back, leading him towards us.

"Hello again." Negan grinned.

"Down." The woman ordered. When dad didn't do as she said, she pressed, "Or again."

Dad did as she said, moving to kneel next to Carl. Before he turned away though, his eyes met mine. I recognised what I saw. It was that look he got when things were bad.

The same look he had when he killed Shane. The same look he had when mum had died. The same look when we were at Terminus. The same look he had when we killed the Terminus people at the church. The same look he had when he realised Pete was beating Jesse. The same look. The same look when the wall fell. The same look when we first laid eyes on Negan.

Once dad was kneeling on the ground by Carl, Negan moved. He rested a hand on my back and led me forward, stopping us until I was on Carl's other side. No words were needed for me to understand. I dropped to my knees.

"Well, shit, Rick,' Negan started once I was down. "You just couldn't stick with us, huh? You had to go with these filthy garbage people?" He looked to the woman who had brought dad over. "No offense."

"Deal is for twelve, yes?" she asked, not caring about what he called her and her people.

"Ten," he countered. "People are a resource."

"Twelve," she pressed.

Negan's grin fell.

She didn't need words to understand, the look on his face was enough to make her give in with a short nod. "Ten"

Pleased, Negan chuckled, attention back on my dad. "Rick. This is just gonna make you sad. Broken. You're gonna wish you were dead." He sighed, "I like having fun. I do. But maybe you think that the guy that did what he did to your friends wasn't me, like that was some sort of a put-on, like I'm not the guy with the bat. I'm just the guy that makes your kids spaghetti."

Dad looked up at him, that dangerous look still in his eyes.

"Oh." Negan shook his head. "Oh, shit. Maybe this is on me. Maybe this is all on me." The gunfire continued just as he did, "I gotta make it right. I guess I gotta start all over again. I gotta tell you, Rick, if I had a son, I'd want him to be just like your son, which makes this so much harder."

Carl looked up, scowling at Negan. "You're not gonna win."

"Carl," Negan's eyes fell on my brother, amused. "It is over. Why don't you point your one ball up the street there and take it all in?"

Doing as he was told, Carl looked down the road, just as I did. We took in the mayhem. People were dead. People were dying. People were being taken. We were losing. It was only a matter of time.

Just then we heard the sound of a woman screaming as she fell from the top of the brownstones.

Carl flinched next to me. Dad's head dropped. As I took in their facial expressions, the loss, pain, sorrow, guilt, misery, the sheer broken emptiness that was growing in the blues of their eyes, I had no doubt. That woman… it was Michonne.

Chuckling, seeing the look on all of our faces, Negan gasped, "Oh." He moved to kneel in front of dad. "Wow. You just lost somebody important to you right now. Like, _just_ now. Jesus. That is timing. Well, Rick, you chose this. I truly don't know what more I could've done to warn you. And this isn't a warning. This is punishment.

"I'm gonna kill Carl now. I'm gonna make it one nice, hard swing, try to do it in one because I like him. I just want you to put that in your brain and roll it around for a minute. I'm gonna kill Carl, and then Lucille here, she's gonna take your hands. And then I'm going to take your daughter. I'm going to keep your daughter. Hell… I might even find that little one of yours and keep her, too."

Dad's voice shook with rage as he stared Negan down. "You can do it right in front of me. You can take my hands. I told you already. I'm gonna _kill_ you. All of you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but _nothing_ is gonna change that. Nothing. You're all already dead."

At first, Negan was pissed. He was ready to rip dad to shreds. But he collected himself and didn't take the bait. Instead, he chuckled once more. "Damn. Wow, Rick. Okay." With a grunt, he got to his feet.

I tensed as Negan moved behind us. I could hear him, sense him. I watch in the corner of my eyes as he took Carl's hat off, tossing it over his shoulder. This was it. This was the end. Even if he didn't kill me, I wasn't going to survive this. Losing my brother. Losing my baby brother, it was going to kill me. That last little bit of hope, of humanity, of myself, that last bit that I'd been holding on to… it was about to fade away.

"You said I could do it."

A hand grabbed mine. Car's hand. His eyes were squeezed shut as he waited. He knew it was coming. He knew what happened next. His grip in my hand tightened as I moved to squeeze his hand back.

"I love you, Carl." A tear rolled down my cheek.

"I love you, too, Vickie."

**  
**

**Chapter 34**

**Where you go…**

**VPOV**

We felt the air move, the tension in the area shifted. This was it. Without even looking, I could feel Negan pull back, lift Lucille and get ready to swing. One hard blow. One hit. A homerun. This was it.

But as I got ready for what happens next it was all cut off at the sound of a roar. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Shiva the tiger pounced onto one of the Saviours, tearing him apart.

Gunfire followed suit as more people rounded the house, headed our way. But not just any people… the Kingdom's people.

"End these Saviours and their accomplices!" Ezekiel called to his people as Negan and the others scattered, ducking for cover. "Alexandria will not fall! Not on this day!"

"Phalanx out, third group, now!" Another voice had me looking down the road. It was Maggie. Leading a group of our people, and people from the Hilltop.

The Saviour that had been attacked by Shiva was now dead. I got to my feet and hurried over, reaching for his gun.

Another Saviour stepped up, aiming his gun at me, getting ready to shoot before I could even arm myself. But before he could pull the trigger another shot went off, and then he was down, dead.

Turning away from the man, I looked back down the road.

"Move up!" Daryl ordered, moving with Maggie and the others. "Now we got your backs!"

I gave a short and thankful nod before I reached down and grabbed the gun.

As the Saviours and the other people tried to make a break for it, we all shot in their direction. There were still a lot of them, and they were still armed. This was not going to be easier. But with friends now by our side I knew we stood a better chance than we ever did.

Smoke bombs were let off, covering us in a must haze. We couldn't see where anyone was. We had no idea where they were going. But neither could they.

The gunfire died.

"They're falling back," dad noted.

"Eduardo, Bertie, between the houses. Cover the gate!" Maggie ordered. Once those people went off to do as she said, she looked to Enid, Jesus, Morgan and Daryl. "Let's go."

"Now we finish this!" Ezekiel exclaimed before we all ran off, heading for the gates.

Nearing the gates, we could hear more gunfire. We rounded the corner, seeing a truck speeding out of the gates, Negan's gloved hand sticking out of the window, flipping us off. Everyone kept shooting at him, running towards them in an effort to stop the truck.

Making it out of the cloud of smoke, we were drawn back as a group of Saviours shot at us. There were standing on a garbage truck parked against the walls, shooting at us and the ground, keeping us away so Negan and the others could escape.

Once the truck was on the other side of the wall the gates were rolled closed. The people shooting at us then made a break for it, climbing and jumping over onto the other side.

"Now!" Daryl called, gesturing to the gate.

A group of us hurried to the gates to open them, while Daryl headed for the garbage truck. But try as we might, the gates wouldn't budge.

"Pull!" Aaron ordered.

Grunting and tugging, we tried and tried, but there was no use. The gates weren't going to open. The Saviours were gone.

Stepping away, out of breath, I looked up at Daryl. He was kneeling down, reaching over. I waited, watching as he pulled himself back up before turning, holding something in his hand. Holding whatever had been used to jam the gates.

It was Negan's red scarf.

**RPOV**

We were checking the town, making sure no Scavenger or Saviour was left. Carl and I were together, moving around the brownstones, when I stopped, my eye catching something on the ground.

It was a body. But it wasn't Michonne's.

Carl stopped and turned to me, the two of us sharing a quick smile. Then we were off.

Barging into the brownstone we knew Michonne had gone in earlier, we climbed all the way to the top. We ran up the stairs as fast as we could. Our feet slammed on the floor, our lungs burned, we rounded every corner and ran down every hall until we finally found her.

She was on the ground, leaning against the door frame. Her face was swollen, bloody, cut in so many different places. But she was alive.

Dropping to my knees by her side, I grabbed her hand. "Michonne. Michonne."

She took a breath, her head slowly turning to me.

I let myself relax a little as a relieved smile found its way onto my lips. "Oh, you're alive."

"We- W-We're…" She struggled to speak. "We're-"

I cut her off, nodding. "I know. I know. I know. We are. We will."

We're the ones that get to live.

**NPOV**

"Getting preparations in place," Simon assured me as we headed for the exit to the Sanctuary, Eugene and Dwight in tow.

"Everyone's on 'blue level',' Dwight added. "You say the word, they're ready to go."

"That's good." I nodded, looking out the double doors to the walker fence, before pausing. "How the hell do you think she wound up dead in that box?" I turned to face Eugene, pissed.

I did not like surprises. I did not like losing my people. I did not like getting beaten. I did not like being kept out of the dark. I did not like being shot at. I did not like losing.

Eugene stood there, a straight look on his face. "My, um, best possible posit fingers the tarp. That sealed up said box good and tight. She ran out of air."

That look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, the fact it sounded like a genuine possibility… it made me want to believe him. It made me _choose_ to believe him.

Stepping forward, I shrugged. "Maybe." Turning on my heels, I walked out the doors and looked down at the gathered Saviours in front of me. "So… we are going to war!"

"Yes, sir!

**MPOV**

I stood with Rick in an open area inside Alexandria. Everyone was working at clearing out the bodies, at cleaning up themselves. The plan was to meet here after. The plan was to meet here and get ready.

A fight was coming. The fight was already here. Hiding, running, ignoring it all, that wasn't an option anymore. When we all came together today we made a choice. We declared war, and it was time we got ready to win it.

"Do you think Sasha did that herself?" Rick asked as he turned away from the people and looked to me.

"I don't know how, but I know she did."

"She gave us a chance. _You_ did," he told me. "You made the right decision to come."

I smiled. "The decision was made a long time ago, before any of us knew each other, when we were all strangers who would have just passed each other on the street before the world ended. And now we mean everything to each other."

We all came together in different ways, but it all started that day…

I'd heard the story a million times. It was a story Rik told to show how proud he was of Glenn. It was a story Glenn told to show people that not all strangers are bad people. It was a story I told Deanna. It was a story Carl told Judith. It was a story Vickie told Aly. It was a story everyone in our family knew.

"You were in trouble. You were trapped. Glenn didn't know you, but he helped you. He put himself in danger for you. And that started it all. From Atlanta, to my daddy's farm, to the prison, to here. To this moment now not as strangers… as family."

We really were family. All of us.

I might have lost my mum, my step-mum, my step-brother, my dad, my sister, and my husband… but I still had family. I would always have family.

"Because Glenn chose to be there for you that day a long time ago. That was the decision that changed everything. It started with both of you, and it just grew to all of us to sacrifice for each other to suffer and stand, to grieve, to give, to love, to live to fight for each other." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pocket watch. "Glenn made the decision, Rick. I was just following his lead."

"You're right." Smiling, eyes falling to the ground, Rick nodded. "But now…" he looked up to meet my gaze again, "now it's time we follow your lead."

**VPOV**

Patting my hair down with my towel, walking out of the ensuite, I stepped into the bedroom. My bedroom. I was home.

Dressed in an old shirt that hung on me like a dress, and a pair of Daryl's boxers, I moved over to the bed. I dropped the towel from my head, holding it in one of my hands as I ran my other hand along the sheets and blankets.

The bed was unmade, a mess, all screwy and crinkled. It was lived in. Daryl had been sleeping in it while I was gone.

A toy sat on the bedside table, _my_ bedside table. Aly's toy. The stuffed dog she'd had when we first met. I had no doubt she'd been sleeping in here as well. No doubt Houdini had joined both her and Daryl.

Grabbing the toy, I set the towel on the ground as I sat down on the bed. My fingers ran over the stitches of the stuffed dog. They played with the few stray threads that were loose.

I heard him before he spoke. I heard the familiar sound of him coming up the stairs, walking down the hall, rounding the corner and stepping into the room. I didn't even have to turn to know he was there. Standing there, watching me.

"Where is she?" I asked, breaking the silence. "Where's Aly?"

"Jesus took her to the Hilltop."

"She's safe?"

"She's safe," he assured me.

A small smile found its way on to my lips as I leaned forward to put the toy back on the night stand, right where I'd found it.

We fell in silence again. I sat, he stood, we waited.

The last time we saw each other I had told him I'd offered myself up in return for his freedom.

The last time we saw each other he had told me he still wanted a baby.

The last time we saw each other we made love.

The last time we saw each other I'd left him at the Kingdom.

The last time we saw each other I'd promised I would go back for him.

I never did go back…

"Dwight told me to tell you he didn't know," I spoke up, breaking the silence again. "After Sasha… after Negan let her out… when everyone started shooting, Dwight helped me. He gave me a knife. Gave me the message. Told me to run." I looked over my shoulder at him. "Didn't know he'd switched sides."

"He hurt you? Back at the Sanctuary. He hurt you?"

"No." I shook my head slowly. "He helped me."

He grunted, giving a short nod. I could tell, looking at him… he had a lot of questions, a lot of concerns. He just didn't know where to start. _How_ to start.

Sighing, I pushed myself up to my feet and started around the bed until I stood at its foot, now facing Daryl. Our eyes met before they wandered, the two of us taking each other in, really looking at each other for the first time since that night. Since the last time we saw each other.

As much as I wanted this silence to end, I didn't want to be the first to speak. There was tension in the air. I could only imagine what Daryl was thinking. None of it good. The moment I spoke I would be giving him permission to do the same. If he needed to ask something, I wanted him to do it without thinking I'd given him permission. If he wanted to talk, he could do it on his own accord.

So, he did.

"What they do to you?"

"Daryl," I sighed. "They're didn't do any-"

He cut me off, "No, don't give me that bullshit. They had me locked in a dark room for days, fed me dog food, left me naked, had this song playing over and over. Didn't even let me sleep. So don't tell me they haven't touched you."

I hadn't really known what had happened to Daryl, but hearing it now made me feel sick. It made me feel worse that I'd actually slept with Negan...

"He hurt you?"

My eyes snapped up to meet his. He looked scared, worried and concerned. For me. All for me...

I shook my head. "No. He didn't hurt me."

He gestured to the cut on my head- the one from Davey. "Must've hurt you."

My head dropped, hair falling over the cut. "That wasn't him."

"Saw him at the gate, Vic." He gestured to the dress that lay on the floor by the bathroom door. "His wives wear them." Eyes coming up, he met my gaze again. "What'd he do, Vic?" His voice was tense, angry, telling me he was ready to explode.

"Daryl..."

"He was gonna kill Dwight. Took his wife instead. Sherry. Married her. Forced her to leave Dwight. He do that to you? Threaten you?"

Regret washed over me in an instant. This is exactly what I'd been afraid of. Him finding out the truth. I didn't want to lose him. Not Daryl. He was the love of my life. I loved him so much, and I'd betrayed him.

But after everything we'd been through, Daryl deserved to know the truth. After everything that had happened in the past, all the secrets we'd once kept… it never worked out. The truth always had a habit of coming out anyway. So why try to push it back? Why make us both hurt? Why lie?

"He didn't force me. He didn't threaten me. Negan... he doesn't believe in rape." The cat was out of the bag now.

"He took you from your family. Took you from you home." He took a step closer to me, but still kept a distance between us. "If he slept with you… Vic, he raped you. Bet he told you you'd have to work for points if you didn't." My head snapped up then, confirming his assumption. Nodding, he looked at me with sad eyes. "Vic, what he did, is rape. Givin' you no other choice. Makin' it so if you don't sleep with him you'd be miserable and lonely." He shook his head. "It's rape."

"It's not like that. Negan... he doesn't... he wouldn't..."

As much as I wanted to argue the point, Daryl suddenly had me thinking. Had Negan raped me? Was I forced into the situation? Had I been manipulated into something I didn't want? Did I really choose to sleep with him?

Yes. The answer to that last question was yes.

"It's not rape, Daryl. I may not have liked the situation completely, but I had control over it. I had a say. I didn't have to sleep with Negan. I chose to. You can hate me for it as much as you want, and you can think Negan is a monster. He is. But he is not a rapist. I could have stopped it if I wanted. I _did_ stop it. There is no excuse, but I had a moment of weakness where I truly thought it was all over, so I let go. I didn't care anymore. I gave up."

The anger in Daryl's eyes had increased with every word that had come out of my mouth. But now, it was different. Now, I could see that he understood. He'd heard my words, taking it all in. He understood the situation now.

I, his wife, willingly and knowingly had sex with the enemy.

"He killed Glenn and Abraham," he reminded me.

"I was there, Daryl. I was right there, next to Abraham and in front of Glenn. I saw it happen. I saw what he did."

"He took me. Tortured me. Kept me locked up like an animal."

"You think I would be in this situation if he hadn't taken you? There's no way I would have offered myself up in exchange."

"He took from our people. Threatened them. Had Olivia killed. Killed Spencer. Took Eugene. Now Sasha's dead."

"We killed his people first!" I snapped. "I alone have killed sixteen of his people. Seventeen, now," I corrected, remembering the man earlier that day. "One of them was his girlfriend. So if you think he's a monster for what he's done… look at me, Daryl. Look at what I've done..." I shook my head, a tear running down my cheek. "I'm no better."

"How can you say that?" He stormed over to me then, closing the distance between us with hard and heavy steps fuelled by his anger. "He's in your head. Brain washed you or somethin'." He searched my eyes as if trying to find proof of his theory.

Looking away, I sighed, "I wish it was that easy Daryl. But it's not. I had freewill. I made choices..."

I felt horrible, standing in front of the man I loved, telling him all of this. It would be so easy to make it seem like I'd been forced or brainwashed. Putting the blame on Negan and the Saviours would be so much easier. At least then my people wouldn't think any less of me. But I couldn't lie… not to Daryl.

I couldn't keep anything from him anymore. Not even this.

He would hate me for it, I knew that. But at least I wouldn't have to worry about the burden of lies and secrets anymore.

"Do you love him?"

My eyes snapped up to meet his again. "What?"

"Negan. Do you love Negan?"

I shook my head frantically. "How could you ask me that?"

"Come on, Vic," he sighed. "Situation ain't lookin' too good."

"No. I don't love him," I answered honestly. "I love you. Even if you don't love me anymore."

He scoffed, "Never loved anyone the way I love you. Never will again. Ain't lettin' you go that easily." Lifting his hand, he brushed my hair away from my face.

"I'm sorry." My voice broke a little.

"You gave up."

Nodding, I looked up into his eyes. "Thought I'd never see you guys again. So much going on in my head…" My eyes fell. "I didn't want to live anymore. Didn't care anymore."

"Hey." He looked down at me, waiting until I eventually looked back up at him. "You're home now. Ain't letting him touch you again. Ain't letting you go again. Can never hate you, Vic. But I hate him. I'm gonna kill him." There was a determination in his eyes that honestly scared me a little.

Lifting my hand, I pressed it against his chest, above his heart. "I belong with you. That's all that matters to me now. I love you, Daryl."

"Love you, too, Vic." His thumb ran over the scar on my cheek. "Won't ever stop lovin' you. You're mine. I'm yours. Simple as that. Where you go…"

A small smile slipped on to my lips as I finished the sentence, "I go."

**The End…**

 

**Bamby**


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